The central "Kiva" of Puebo Bonito is a 200 meter biodome, bathed in the dim light of the Baffin sun.

Assembled there was the full Compliment of Temporary Autonomous Zoners, other Zoner Guards and Dignitaries, Epopts, Popes, Tsars, Acolytes, and even a surprise visit by a fellow Discordian Prophet.

Mal turned his head and offerred Cadmus a smile and a finger-to-nose wink before facing the congretation again.

"Let us begin the Agape Ludens! In Honor of Amor Fou, and the Biggest Apple of them all, Eris Discoria!"

Malaclypse slowy turned towards the central Spire, the Temple Tower, of the Pueblo, and raised his arms out to the sides, palms facing upwards..

Charlie Koskinen stood in the crowd with hundreds, perhaps thousands of others, listening as Mal opened up the ceremony. A surpising number of people had shown up for the festivities, and the dome was quite packed.

"Pistle sie nie, wahrend sie Whiss!" Charlie merrily chorused, "O Hail Eris!"

It was a time of relief for Charlie. For one thing, it was the end of Gaunt. That meant that Charlie could start breathing openly again. He had given breathing up for Gaunt, as suggested by Mal, but Charlie couldn't last more than five days. So he would often take several deep breaths when Mal had his back turned.

Charlie shoved his way through the crowd towards the edge of the biodome, where the ceiling was lower, and plucked one of the many lollypops suspended from the struts that supported the glass dome. He'd be back for the feast, but for now, Charlie headed back to his quarters. He couldn't stay for the rest of the opening ceremony. He had to prepare for Jake Day, after all.

Mal then turned towards the Hodge tower, with appropriate mystical hand motions and shuffle steps. He intoned sonorously:



He gyrated and jigged another turn towards the audience, and looked expectantly..

"Sya-dasti," Bernhard cheered, "O Hail Eris!"

Bernhard Lessens, captain of the TAZ gunboat Precious Mao, was having the time of his life. He was fairly new to this lifestyle, having only joined with the Discordians a few months ago. As such, he had never attended an Agape Ludens festival, or any other sort of festival, for that matter. Caught up in the moment, he found he couldn't stop smiling at everything around him. The banners displaying the Discordian saints, the buffet tables of squid-stuffed pineapples and fresh hot dogs, and the multitude of people around him, all joining in on the fun. It was all so exciting and new!

Bernhard eagerly awaited the next part of the chant...

Samantha had decided to await news of her quarry here, it had been a few days since his dissapearance from Liberty and he hadn't yet resurfaced, so she was taking the time to enjoy her stay with the odd TAZ fellows. She'd passed through baffin a few times over the last year and had gotten to know a few of the customs and oddities of the TAZ.

She had decided to attend the opening ceremony after having agreed with one of her Zoner pals, Well agreed wasn't quite the right word, she'd tried to give up vengeance for Gaunt, but had failed miserably and now found herself attending the next five TAZ ceremonies, and all of them whilst wearing clown shoes and a red wig.

"Note to self" she muttered "Don't make bets with Ozzie whilst off my face on Shasta Rum."

She found herself getting caught up in the atmosphere and chanted with the crowd.

"Sya-dasti," she repeated, "O hail Eris!"

Malaclypse noticed the slightly famiilar young lady, despite the rather large red probocis. He waved, while crossing his eyes and protruding his tongue.

He next turned towards the Tower of Podge. His voice changed, a contrary voice, as if he were arguing with himself.

Ozzie Mandias, Lord of Somewhere and Chief Arbiter of That thing Over There stood expectantly, dressed in his familiar dress, although he continually claimed it was a robe, but no amount of gold trim and sequins could disguise the floral pattern and low cut neckline, swayed in time to the chanting whilst gorging himself on hotdogs. Despite their being forbidden during Guant he'd lusted after the familiar scent of Potential-Pork and now, finally he could bite into it.

"Sya-davak-tavya," He chanted, "O hail Eris!"

his mouth full of Potential-Pork

The party was really getting the spirit of Amor Fou now. Mal glanced at the buffet table, hoping thay there'd be a dab of Kyushu Mud Weasal Pate left by the time they were through.

His gut rumbled, but he pressed on. Once again, he jigged, and again faced the tallest spire visible through the biodomes glasteel segments. Arms raised, and

Pope Mad John Rackham stepped forward from the crowd, ragged brown robes flowing in the breeze. His brow was furrowed as he concentrated on not believing a word of what was being said, whilst at the same time, waving a cheese and pineapple cocktail stick in his right hand to distract the truth.

Susan danced happily in the crowd, while chanting along with everybody else. Her large dress smothered a few people behind her, as it was approximately 9 meters in diameter, and her veil prevented everyone from looking in, and pretty much prevented her from looking out. So as she danced, she proceeded to clear a wide berth around her. People seemed to flee in all directions and she innocently wondered is she had put on the wrong perfume...

She continued to chant and dance.

"Sya-dasti-sya-nasti"

"Smashing!" thought Mal. He focused carefully on the next Incantation, as now the Ritual was getting into the more Esoteric Mysterees of their particular brand of Gonzo Discordianism.

He faced the expectant Congregation once again.

Agmen sat towards the back of the crowd. He'd heard of this before, but never witnessed one.

He dodged the large lady with the big skirt, without spilling a drop of his drink. His hot dog, however, hit the ground, and was immediately gobbled up by the psuedo-dachsund running between his legs.

Mal bowed his head silently for a prolonged moment. This was the time for "Open Incantations". However, in the past, their beloved Fnordie usually began this segment of the Ceremony... Mal finally looked up at the assembled Congregation and guests again.



A tear slowly and visibly formed on Mal's cheek as he continued.

A shimmering titanium globe rose a meter above the assembled crowd.



said Shamus in his best imitation of a drunken Irish Wake attendee.

"Good old Shamus!" mused Mal. He proceeded to open the Ritual to "Open Invocations".



"Does anyone have any new Incantations they would care to share?"

A figure in a coarse black cowled robe stepped forward. The robe was simple, except for the vivid red rose emblazoned on the left breast, and a red equiform cross on the right breast.


The stranger threw back the robe's cowl and crossed his arms across his chest, hands covering the two red sigils.




The stranger slowly lowered his hands, and stared squarely at the Episkopos Prime, the hint of a smile gracing his visage.

An audible gasp arose from the assembled Erisians. The Temple Guards present nervously fingered their weapons.

Mal himself was taken aback for a second, surprised to meet one of the "Ancient Adversaries" here in the flesh; but he quickly regained his composure, raising his hands to quiet the commotion.



He comleted the Alchemical Formula, and returned the stranger's smile.

"Welcome, Cagliostro! What a pleasant surprise! Bear with us while we complete our Devotions.

"Come come! Who's next?"

Fin woke to the sound of his neural net alarm buzzing, the sound gently grating on his senses.
Why for the love of Eris had he set it to go off in the first place? Never normally had a reason
to play with technology he had no interest in, or actually had any idea of the workings of ...

Nothing dawned on him, apart from the word 'Eris', and the nagging feeling that he ought to be
somewhere else ...
There were always questions to be answered concerning The Goddess, and was Susan in fact,
still shopping on New London?

These thoughts rather paled in his surprise at the colour of the carpet close to his nose, and his
extremely intimate proximity to it. More important answers were needed first though, like why
the entire defensive line of the Los Angeles Gravityball team were stomping round between his
ears, without so much as a bye-your-leave, and just where the hell was he ...

"Another beer will do the trick." Was the conclusion he came to ...

Reggie Waverly stepped forward, elegantly dressed as usual, a striking redheaded companion tucked under his protective arm.

A big Hail Eris comes from the Com link of Malcalypse from his ambassador, Dr. John Henry Holliday.
"I'm working my way home. I do hope to get there in time. As I understand it, Commander Matok and his crazy band of Klingons are headed to Baffin. Oh yes, Miss Midori will be by as well.




Doc

Com ID: [TAZ]I.K.S. Vor'cha

Greetings, all TAZ and all visiting Humans alike!
We are underway to Baffin for festivities and have extra Blood Wine for all in attendance. Relax, there is more than enough to go around. My first officer, Lt. Commander Gor, who is excellent with a bat'leth, will give lesson to those who want them. Location of training to be determined.

And since we're coming up with colorful sayings, I shall try.


"All Hail Turning Anger Sideways!"

Hey, it describes us quite well.



Commander Matok

((Begin brief Commercial Inter-Ludens:))

Members, guests, and lookie-loos:

The [TAZ]Moving'n'Storage will be happy to accept your Love Offerings, Fithings, and Donations throughout the weekend.

"Give till it Feels Good!"

((And now, back to our regularly scheduled Ritual for one last round of Invocations. The Mgt.))

Riley, late as usual, came running into the central Kiva in an out of breath huff while throwing on (& tripping over) his green robe, causing him to stumble and eventually crash into a portion of the congregation in the back, knocking over four people; following an extended moment of comically erratic movements as he tried to regain his balance that he could have simply avoided altogether if he just allowed himself to fall down & then just go from there.

Regaining his composure, he opens his phrasebook & states "Am dicah wisi slua esi laka---"

"wait, that's not right" he mumbles under his breath & turns to the previous page and starts again:



"crap! that's still not right" he mumbles again, & then just simply tosses the phrasebook away over his shoulder, faces the podge tower & says:



& then, heads off towards the closest plate of hotdogs, pretending like nothing ever happened.

The lull in the Congregation's responses was suddenly punctuated by an extraordinary event.

The Guests and Epopts began to feel a growing vibration coming throught the floor of the Biodome. It seemed to be emanating from somewhere below, in the approximate direction of the Goddess Geode.

At the same time, the Five Elements of the Baffin System visible through the biodome's glasteel windows, the Sun, Eris, Hodge, Podge, and the Geode, began to shimmer, as if being obscured by a transparent veil of energy.

Suddenly, each and every person at the Ceremony experienced a message, transmitted directly to their Pineals.



As the more senior members of the TAZ realized the source of this telepathic message, sighs and sobs could be heard, as well as the odd "Woof!", and "Hail Fnordie!"

Finally, the Episkopos himself responded.

Malaclypse looked about the biodome at the Congregation once more. He carefully noted the TAZ members who seemed unable or unwilling to share in the Ceremony.

He made one more attemp to elicit responses from the very folk who were here to host this Festival and Open House.



It was a weak attempt at Catma, but it would prove who was still awake enough and sober enough to respond..

Jack Tate had been repairing his ship yet again when he sensed he was missing something. You know, that kinda feeling you know you are supposed to be somewhere, but you aren't?

Jack suddenly remembered and made all haste getting to the celebration, ans sang out:

All Hail Eris, rightful protector of Baffin and..."

Jake missed a step and twisted his ankle and went down hard....

"Of, my busted petard!"

The crowd started chanting "All Hail Eris, rightful protector of Baffin and my... "


Jack's face was rosy red for the rest of the day.....

Malaclypse laughed raucously along with the Congregation at Jack's discomfiture, and then raised a hand for silence from the gathered participants.

He raised his right hand in a fist, then slowly raised his first and middle fingers into "bicycle" position. He then curled thumb and remaining fingers into the "tricycle", thus forming the Sacred Sign of Lady Lilith Velkor's Cross.



"I hereby decree this Agape Ludens Rite concluded!" (Catcalls and whistles..)

"Amor Fou has been satisfied, and the Apple of Eris is polished once again!

"Now, finish stuffing your gobs on this delightful repaste, courtesy of Sophie Noir and Reggie's lady friend Moira from Hope's Haven! Once you've finished, sally forth and greet our friends and guests. Show them around the new facilities, answer their spiritual questions, and don't forget to ask for their generous Temple Fithings and donations!

"I further declare that docking restrictions at Pueblo Bonito and Sedona will be lifted for the duration of our Open House. The Temple Tower will remain off-limits to the Pineally challenged.

"Thank you all for coming. Let's go play!"

Note to our Valued Friends and Honored Guests:

Please, continue to graze.

I will directly be changing the name of [TAZ]Moving'n'Storage to [TAZ]Temple.Fund. Much easier to associate with your charitable (and tax-deductible) contributions.

Now, the contributors to building funds were at one time given a "brick" in the structure, to acknowledge their largesse.

We didn't use bricks.

However, we did use "struts".

Therefore, contributors of large largess will be listed herein, and henceforth shall be known as "The Temple Strutters"!

Oh, and I'll be around to chat a bit later, but now I must take my shift as tour guide.

We ain't done yet.

E-Prime