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To: Bretonian Police Senior Command. - myg0t33 - 03-03-2014

Subject: More Officers on the Beat.

Good day Sirs,

Officer Waldorf Salad here. I am contacting you to ask if there is any possibility that we can have more Officers on the Beat?

Just recently my fellow Officers and I have noticed a large increase in the amount of Smugglers passing through Bretonia heading for Leeds or Liberty. The ones heading for Leeds seem to be mostly carrying Black Market Munitions. The ones to Liberty are carrying, generally, Artifacts.

If recruitment is the problem, at the moment, would it possible to have the Desk Bound Inspectors released back to active duty so that they can take up some of the strain off of us?

To give you an idea, this was my day from yesterday.

Newcastle – found a Red Hessian Cruiser heading north past Battleship Ark Royal. When asked what he was doing in Bretonian Space, his reply was that he was heading to Roussillon to meet with the Council. He was also carrying, according to my scanners, a Derelict Nomad Artefact (what every one of those is). When I suggested that he find an alternative route back home he replied that he would. He did send me 1 million credits and said that that should cover the fine. Seeing as I was on my own I didn’t push the fact that it was nowhere near the total fine of 5.25 million by my reckoning.

New London/Cambridge – Picked up on TAGSNET that 2 Traders had entered in to Cambridge from Omega 3. They were carrying Black Market Munitions. I contacted 2 BAF Officers who were in New London at the time and asked for help. Lt Cdr Zoe Avant (I am glad that she doesn’t work for us) seems quite a Task Master in the way she talks to her subordinates. The other one was just a Lt and I was glad that I wasn’t in his shoes! We made our way in to Cambridge and sat near the Gate. Long range scanners had also picked up the fact that two known Smugglers, Horst Stiener and Trade Ma Fix, had also entered the system (they must have used the Jump Hole from O-3 because I didn’t get the report of them arriving in the System). I also noticed that they hadn’t used the Trade Lanes since entering the System. I decided that I would head for the New London Jump Hole whilst both of the BAF Officers would stay at the gate. Once in NL I sat near to the JH and was very surprised when all 4 Smugglers jumped through. I told them all to cut their engines and called for help from the BAF. At this time, also, Officer Chef Salad came on duty and also headed for my location.

The Smugglers asked what the problem was and when I told them, they proceeded to offer me Bribes to let them go and pretend not to ‘see’ anything. I, of course, refused. Can’t believe that they actually believed that an Officer of the Law would be open to Bribery! At this time my reinforcements started to appear on scanners. As soon as the Criminals noticed they all engaged cruise engines and scattered like cockroaches when the light comes on! I managed to destroy Horst as he refused to stop. Trade Ma Fix was also destroyed by one of the reinforcements. The other two Criminals managed to escape in all the confusion. Shortly after this we were joined by a BAF Ensign and ‘Sir’ George Antioch who helped in trying to track the Criminals down. We, after a while, gave up as long range scanners lost contact with them even though they never left NL.

During this search Chef Salad, who was guarding the Manchester JG noticed another ship approaching the Gate carrying Artefacts. He and I gave chase (I had just arrived in the vicinity of Planet Dover). Chef caught up with him at Birmingham Station by shutting down the TL controls. Just as I was starting to question the Smuggler, who likened us to Pirates, the automated TL System decided to re-engage itself and the Smuggler shot up it like excrement off a shovel! We yet again gave chase and eventually caught up with him in Cortez. He refused to stop and even opened fire on us, so we destroyed his ship and cargo. We need to get the Engineers out to check the operation of these TLs as we can’t have the Criminals escaping because they malfunction!

My watch ended here but because of the lack of manpower due to sickness and Holidays (Tator is on holiday sunning himself on a hot beach surrounded by pretty women, lucky sod!) I had enough time for a nice cuppa Rosie Lee and a quick sandwich as I was Hank Marvin before I was back on duty pulling a second watch.

This time I was informed that two Red Hessians (1 in a Fighter, the other in a Bomber) plus a Pirate in a Transport were Pirating in Omega-3. On my way past Planet NL I came across a BPA Officer Judge Dredd and a BAF Officer (sorry I can’t remember his name but it sounded Kusarian?) who agreed to help me out.

On our way down the TL from Cardiff Mining to BS Norfolk we came across a Corsair Dreadnought sat still. I inquired what he was doing in Bretonia (and this is where you could knock me down with a feather!) he replied he was just leaving as long as we escorted him! Seeing as we were severely outgunned I agreed to this.

Now, this is where the strange things started to happen! We were close enough to BS Norfolk to ‘see’ that the Red Hessian Ships and the Pirate Tradeship come out of the TL from the O-3 JG. The Norfolk opened up and destroyed both the Fighter and Bomber but the Pirate Tradeship managed to get past but taking heavy damage in the process. He shot down the TL to Cardiff, but seeing as we were escorting the Corsair, we didn’t give chase. Shortly after this long range scanners reported the destruction of the Pirate.

We carried on escorting the Corsair to the O-3 JG. He eventually jumped through and I followed. When I arrived on the other side I saw the two Red Hessians and the Pirate again! They then jumped into Cambridge leaving me with my mouth agape and my jaw on the floor of my fighter! Having bade farewell to the Corsair I jumped back into Cambridge to be met by my two compatriots also in a state of shock (I assume anyway as I didn’t get much out of them).

We then decided to give chase to the RHs and Pirate. They obviously used the JH in to NL as I lost track of them in Cambridge. I eventually caught up with them as they entered in to the TL half up to Kensington. The exited the TL about 10 seconds ahead of me. In this time Kensington and Canterbury gunners had destroyed the Bomber and Fighter but yet again the Pirate got away but having suffered heavy damage. We gave chase again. He led us through Manchester in to Magellan then up the TL to Freeport 4 and then he headed across the system. We ended up going pass a very hostile Station, which scanners showed was Mactan Base (needs further investigation) and to another JH. This JH led us into Cortez and from there to another JH which had us, unbeknown to us, arriving in to California. The Pirate carried on running but over open frequencies told us that we couldn’t touch him as he was in Liberty. At this I checked scanners and found this be true. With that we gave up the chase and returned back to NL.

On the way back I tried unsuccessfully to contact an LPI Officer. Maybe they were all in this ‘Starbucks’ that I have heard about drink their coffee and eating doughnuts. I might have to try this sometime when I have a Holiday.

I have decided to send a communications to Rheinland Police about the Black Market Munition Smugglers. I would get the pen pushers back at HQ to send this but they seem to take ages in sending anything of importance. Maybe we can get them on the Beat and make them useful again?

I don’t suppose now is such a good time to ask for a pay rise? I assume that the answer will probably come back as NO and don’t I know there is a War on and that we need to save every penny.

Yours,

Officer Waldorf Salad.