For god's sake, looks like I've really shocked you with this little surprise, huh? Well, it was one for me as well when the docs told me about it. You know, to be honest I haven't seen the need for any kind of ... uhm, protection. There weren't many opportunities anyways when I could've needed it, so I just forgot about it. Also, quite frankly, back in this evening I didn't care about it anymore. See it as a compliment.
So, I didn't really plan anything, so there was nothing I could've told you about it beforehand. As I already said, in the it must have happened, I wasn't aware of the possible consequences. And honestly, I'm a bit worried as well. Worried as it happened like in the worst possible moment one could think of. Worried as something bad can appear on the horizon any time. Actually, I don't want to think about, it scares the shit out of me.
Anyways, let's stop seeing all this as a problem, please. It might be one, but in my opinion, he or she - whatever it is going to be - doesn't deserve it to be entitled a "problematic incident". Let's just look at it as the proof for the love between us. Maybe it needed to happen this way, I could imagine we'd have waited until "less troubled times" - which might would have never happened. Maybe it's just fine that way.
Regarding my friend, I decided to leave her alone for the time being, maybe she really just need some time for her alone. I'm glad to hear it wasn't a problem for you, as I actually had to chase her through half of New London till I finally catched her.
Stay safe!
~Elena
P.S.: Of course I will try to stay as safe as I can be, but you have to remember I'm a mercenary, and I got to make money. But I promise, I will try to keep my fights to a minimum level, only choosing the ones I'm sure I can survive. Sweet that you worry about me, though. But again, don't do any crap yourself. I ain't planning on raising our child on my own, alright?
By no means I would entitle him or her "a problematic incident", rather more "a joyful surprise". I am just concerned. Concerned that I might not be a good father. My job is not the family-friendly one to do, often away, long duty, a certain chance of lethality. This makes me afraid of missing too much of important time to spend with him or her and also with you.
On the other side I feel obliged to my job, my duty, colleagues, friends and home. It is just something new to get used to, to grow into, to change into. I am used to be a soldier, to destroy and to protect, mostly with violence. It is a responsiblity I am aware of and already know. Being a father on the other hand, is a new experience and a new responsiblity, I will try to master as good as I can, Probably it might not be as different as being a soldier, protecting the ones you love and destroying those who threat them.
In the next years there won't be for sure less troubled times, as long as Gallia acts aggressive. Even if Gallia fell, then the Maltese Nation might also knock on Liberty's door, or the Nomads decided it was time to cover everyone and everything in their Jelly.
For a soldier, the best time to raise a family, is probably as early as possible, to ensure his bloodline will continue, before he reaches his final destination. As I said, raising a family was already planned, the plan just happened to start working earlier than expected. Which is not something bad at all. In other words, I am happy to be with you, and to raise a family with you.
Love,
-John
PS.: Well, I hope my slowly growing protective but also worrying side of me won't scare you off. The one getting you in unnecessary dangerous situations, will receive a sign of my displeasure. The one harming you, will become my personal target, marked and tagged upon a blacklist. Anyways, I manage to stay alive and in one piece, since the beginning of your messages, I try to continue this way.
Don't worry, I've got the trust in you that you will be able to manage both life as a Navy officer and as a father, even if it might be quite a hassle for you. I must agree though, it's definitely not the most family-friendliest job you have, still I'm sure there are other officers in the Navy who also got a family, your admiral being the prime example. I'm sure you'll find a way, and I'm in no way worried you won't have enough time with both our child and me. Pregnancy takes nine months after all, much time for you to think about how you will manage it.
Even though less troubled times might sound like utopia right now, I believe we can still hope. It never hurt, and maybe, just maybe, things turn out better than expected for us.
And please, don't say anything like this, it hurts me, hearing you talk about stuff like your "final destination". I've been succesful to suppress these thoughts, let's just keep it that way. After all, we couldn't do anything about it if it happened one day. Enjoy life as long as we can I'd suggest, call it seizing the day, carpe diem, whatever you want. I want to have a nice time with you, and not being remembered what crap could happen every time I see you.
Otherwise, seeing your caring, worrying side isn't any problem for me. I just don't feel like you can do much about it if something suddenly happened. Like recently, when a nomad suddenly cloaked in front of me and shot my ship to pieces - once again. Thanks to my friends, I've survived this, but seriously, it feels like a high-wire act to me, and it kind of seems impossible for me to stay out of trouble, even if I already lowered my fighting rate nearly completely. A random hostile can always show up and wreck me at any given time, without you being around. I don't know what to do about it, seriously.
At least I got a cloak device now, makes many things a lot easier.
To end this message a bit happier, I can assure you, I'm giving my best. I would never willingly risk the life of our child, you can be absolutely sure about that.
sorry for...leaving so early, recently. I was temporally called back to Liberty in order to escort Liberty Navy transports and unfortunately, as it is, I always need to stand ready for duty, when I am offduty. I really looked forward going to a club with you, dancing, but I suppose we gotta do that next time.
Anyways, back on duty we got ambushed by a bunch of Outcast-Rogue bombers, a gunboat and two destroyers, but we fought them back easily, receiving a few more reinforcements on our side. 5 to 0 for the Liberty Navy! My ship got repaired, my escort assignment done, then I was sent back to Bretonia.
You are right about my Admiral being a good example for a soldier and father at the same time, and so are a few more within the Navy. When they can manage this, I will too. Excuse me for noting the less pleasant consequences of my job, I'll try doing so less often. It was just part of an explanation. Less troubled times sure sound good and any change towards this, is already an improvement.
It is good you have that cloak, I hope it keeps you safe. Just be sure nobody rams you, cause he can't see you, right?
You can't do much in avoiding threats if they occur all of the sudden, we can just hope such situations will happen less often either. However, I am looking forward to see you soon again!
Yours,
-John
PS.: As we didn't have the chance to get to this club yet, I'll send you a teaser. Open up the attachment and be convinced of my dancing skills!
Sorry for the late reply, I was caught up with various administration work for Forlorn Hope, which was quite a bit actually. And I sadly couldn't find the time to dedicate myself to your pending message.
Anyways, the last evening we spent together - Thursday it was, right? - was totally awesome, even though you got called to escort these transports beforehand. Once again, sorry I couldn't accompany you, Nick suddenly called me - he likes to do that quite often actually, regarding business stuff and all that crap. You know, we're partners; when he calls, I have to come.
Which doesn't mean I'd not like to spend more time with you, quite the opposite. It's not much of a big deal anyways, as we still had our fun back then. I must say, it was really a brilliant idea of yours to visit a disco, we definitely have to repeat it at some point. Also, to be honest I kind of underestimated your dancing skills - even with your little teaser you sent me -, and your moves challenged me pretty much. Still, it was great fun for me. As of the other "dancing" we did afterwards, I doubt I have to say much, as it was great as always, but I guess you know that for yourself.
Also, if you want to do me a favour, just in case you see an individual called "Tar'Talon" crossing Bretonia, please take care of him for me. I already thought to put a bounty up for him, but I believe that ain't necessary. Some high-ranked officers already look for him in Liberty, so if you could do the same in Bretonia, it would be quite awesome. After all, I'm sure you want to meet somebody in person who has called your girlfriend a whore. If you see him, have fun with him.
What I'm trying to say is: It always feels like an eternity until we can finally meet each other again. What you might like to hear is that I didn't get into trouble since Thursday, hopefully a trend that will go on for a while.
no worries for the delayed reply. Sometimes work's pressure is too big to even think about doing something else than work, in order to find time for something more enjoyable. As for not being able to keep me company? Lucky you, you weren't. The escort assignment was boring. There wasn't much to do at all.
Anyways, I understand, that you have to react and reply upon Nick's or Sarah's or anyone other important from or for Forlorn Hope's requests. Just as I have to do so upon the Navy's orders. No harm done here.
True, that was big fun. Something I'd like to repeat soon again any time! Actually, I tried to show off my skills a little bit, sorry for that. Next time I'll try to keep my moves synchronized with yours. The music was good, the atmosphere too, but the best was the lovely woman I had the chance to dance with. My showoff of my dance skills seemed to atleast do their job, leading to the dance afterwards, later. That was a wonderful time too, and something I'd always love to repeat soon again, as well.
Tar'Talon...I met that guy yesterday. Not so talkactive at all. Also, the Navy Officer you mentioned, was there as well. Unfortunately, as long as he's not causing any trouble, violating the law, I can't do much. Still, whenever I am around, and he appears, I will keep an eye on him.
You are right about the frequencey of how often we see each other... it sure feels like an eternity, yes. Nothing we could do agains that for the moment, but it might change, I hope. Less troubled times for you sounds good! Can't say the same about me though. My ship recently got crushed in a battle, unfortunately, but I'm still fine. Just more paperwork again.
Yeah, no harm done, I understand. At least, now I know how it feels to do this damned paperwork myself. It just makes it more astonishing how you manage to stay such a nice and likable person with all the boring and anti-social crap you have to do over and over again. Speaking for myself, I already got enough by this point. You know, I just can't sit there and simply do it, instead I'm always thinking about what other, better things I could do. Which doesn't get me anywhere in the end, it's quite a doom loop if I think about it.
This actually sounds like you think you nearly overchallenged me, which you did not. It was merely a reminder I've become a bit rosty over the months, as I didn't have anybody to practise with. And a reminder that I'm definitely going to change this, and it would be a pleasure to do it with you.
Not that I not knew of anybody else I could do it with. Some guys keep knocking on my door, so stay concentrated and make sure I ain't getting bored of you ... naaah, just kiddin'. Well, not kidding about the guys, but I know how to handle them, don't worry about your love being unfaithful already. I'm ... not the person who tends to do it. Even though I got my problems with impulse control.
As you are usually busy with work and stuff, I think I should forewarn you I'm getting 23 soon, to be exact on the 14th of April. Wanted to tell you in advance so you don't get time issues with finding something nice if you want to. On the other hand, I don't necessarilly need a present. You're present enough in my opinion, as cringy as it might sound.
Anyways, I'm already looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow. We'll have a fun time, I'm sure.
you don't really believe I wouldn't get you a present, do you? I'm making sure you are going to get it, actually by two steps. How exactly you will see when you've received it.
Well, while doing my paperwork I just keep thinking "do it or else you get demoted, or worse", but aside that, it just needs alot of focus, discipline, and patience...I have those characteristics, if needed. There'd be a few other things I'd like to do more than this paperwork, at that time, but things got to be done. Work comes first, fun to be enjoyed later.
Asfor the other guys, I actually don't worry about a situation like this. Your beauty, passion, humor and wit make you quite desireable, but I am sure you are able to resist any possible advances by others. Able to handle yourself, that is something you have learned while flying an armed space ship.
However, you really sounded disturbed by the incident with that guy you met....and his choice of restaurants. Should you still be bothered, you can always tell me. Let me be your shoulder to lean against, to whipe your tears off, to ease the concern.
Anyways. I hope you'll like the present I got for you, because it wasn't easy to get. As I said, you'll see it tomorrow.
Ah, waking up and knowing it's one's birthday is always a nice feeling, especially when you're not yet in the age when you have to worry about getting older and all. Though, as you probably know it yourself, it still feels like I'm 22, but hey, I really didn't expect anything else. I'm already looking forward to seeing you today again, and to this activity program you planned for us - it does sound like a lot of fun. Also, I'm still wondering what the hell this present might be. Good job there John, you've aroused my curiosity, as I got no idea what it could turn out to be.
Thanks for all these compliments, too. On the other hand, I'm glad I met you, as your behavior is just ... god, I cannot put it into words, it's a mix of sweet, humorous, corteous, thoughtful and what not. I'm sure I've missed dozens of adjectives, my bad, but as I said, it's a mix, a mix that makes you completely unique and incomparable to anybody else I've ever met.
Talking about the guy, it's been a quite horrible experience. Not because him as a person, actually I like him somewhat, but because of the restaurant. Safe to say it was one of the weirdest experiences I ever had, and I really don't like to think back to it. What happened there happened, and I didn't like it, but I guess it's time to overcome it finally. He might desire me, but not the way I'd like it, this thing I learned during the evening. He is solely interested in my body, which I just find disgusting.
Anyways, let's meet at my appartment on New London somewhat around the evening today!
See ya soon!
~Elena
P.S.: I've got your present just a few moments ago ... it's just, my god, how should I express that in words. The sole fact you remembered me saying something about this dream impresses me the most, kudos my dear. I don't care where you got this, but it really is the best phyiscal present you could have ever made me. I just love it. Thanks a lot, John. I'll going to try it out immediately!
how could I ever forget about my girlfriend's most important dream? Especially since we met only a few months ago. Men tend to forget things, most of the time, trivial things, but the dream of the woman you love, definitely is not trivial. It is important to you, so it is important to me. Have fun with it and be careful!
Unfortunately I am already past the age where I wouldn't worry about getting older, to be honest. On the other hand, I look forward to a future with you and a family. It seems you liked the activty program planned for us, though, I suppose what got you really thrilled was the curiousity about the present, right?
My parents always used to say "Behave and treat the woman in your life, like you want and expect it from the boyfriend of your own daughter.". Aside from this, they taught me how to behave and how to treat a woman well, combined with experience made over time. I thank you for your kind words, eventhough it is just natural for me to be this way, as you are the one I love. That and the fact that makes me unique and incomparable to others, make me quite happy, you know?
Anyways, let's drop the topic with said guy and said experience. Men can't be blamed for being attracted to atleast one part of a person. Some prefer the appearance, others prefer the personality and I prefer both, found in you. He may desire, he may dream, he may look at you, but we belong to each other, and no other person's desire will change that.