And we are LIVE! Hellooooo, Sirius! You're listening to the first broadcast of Colonial Radio, bringing you the music you need to hear and the news you need to know!
The Colonial Republic launched a raid into Gallic space today, adding two to the tally of Gallic casualties - word has it that Prince Joseph DeFrance himself narrowly escaped the battle. No surprise there; those Gauls always run! You hear that, Joey? They're coming for you next!
Meanwhile, the Bretonian Armed Forces continue to hold the line in Leeds, making frequent incursions into frog-controlled Tau-31 and Edinburgh. Keep on fightin', boys! This has been Colonial Radio, speaking for the free people of the Taus - keep on fighting the good fight!
Turn up those radio dials, boys 'n girls, comin' to you LIVE from the Taus, another underground pirate radio broadcast fromCOLONIALRADIO!
Before we get to blowin' your mind with our outta sight sounds, we'll dip into the news, and a special PSA to all the froggies out there.
With the Gallic navy pushing ever closer to Leeds, we have it on good authority say that the valiant forces of the Colonial Republic will soon have the hospitality of their Bretonian allies - that's right boys 'n girls, that means lovely Colonial Nyxes parked side by side with the Bretonian Templars.
In other news, a shipment of over 50 replacement fighters was shipped to the Carrier Hades for the 49th Squadron. The pilots of the 49th, as we're told, are gearing up for something big, and something King Charles won't forget for a long time.
You hear that Chucky? We're comin' for ya...
And now, a special Public Service Announcement for all Gallic pilots.
We here at the Colonial Republic understand that some of you are good looking fellows. Strutting about with your bottles of wine, and faces covered in makeup, thinkin' about your wives or girlfriends waitin' for ya at home while you're off fightin' for fascism and greed. Well, I hate to tell you this, guys, but your wives and girlfriends have needs, and those needs are getting filled by the guy next door, or the hunky guy who cleans your pool, or the guy she goes to book-club with... you know who I mean... the one she says is "a good listener."
*chuckle* Best get on home and see to your ladies, boys. *laughter*
The daring boys of the 49th made another push into Gallia today, putting a nice little dent into the Gallic Bottom Line. For all the EFL and GMS out there, who thought the Colonial Republic was just a myth, a tired broken thing - I guess black Nyxes will color your night terrors for the week, eh fellas? Heh heh heh.
And where was the valiant navy during all this? Nowhere to be seen. I guess they had a national cheese and wine festival to attend - or maybe King Chuck needed help off the toilet seat?
Or maybe you fellas DID take our advice about your girls? *laughter*
And of course, a PSA for everyone in Gallic space. Until King Chucky agrees to President Connors' demand to step down and end the war, the Colonial Military are under new orders
The fight continues! And still, no sign of the Gallic Royal Navy? Believe it, kiddies - apparently the awe inspiring royal fleet has decided to take indefinite holiday - other than the scattered ships here and there, the royals have been rather uninterested in rolling in force on Bretonia. Well, as I always say, never question a good thing.
However, there's a betting pot of 20 million credits, to whoever bets right on what is keeping the Gallic Navy from the show. Feelfreetocallin and place your bet. Currently, Colonial Radio has the money riding on that they did take our advice, and that the Navy is suffering mass desertion as sailors rush back to their wives and sweethearts. Hehehe.
In other news, the collection of transport skippers, known as the "Colonial Movers" has been working hard. That's right, even in Gallia! Rumor has it that a few of the more crazier kids have taken it upon themselves to evacuate refugees from the scattered Council stations still in Gallia itself. It's been dangerous work, especially since the Royal Police have stepped up efforts to stop all Colonial presence in Gallia itself. Despite their efforts, the kids of the 'Movers have been doing a great job moving thousands of people, still trapped in the Gallic interior. In fact, we were lucky enough to get an interview with one - give it up for Junior Transport Skipper - Kyp Rawlings!
"Hey! Am I on? Am I on the air?"
Yeah, Kyp, you're on the air. *laughter* Tell us what it's been like, smuggling refugees out of Gallia?
"This is so freakin' awesome, I'm actually on the air! HELLO EVERYBODY!"
*laughter* C'mon Kyp, don't hold out on us, what's it been like?
"Scary as hell? But fun like crazy. There ain't no thrill like knowin' a Gaul diesel could pop up at any time, and then boom, you're toast. And I've had some close calls. But yeah, it's fun. Better then drugs! But... not better then sex."
Heh, and the refugees you've been rescuing, have they been thankful?
"You have no idea. Most of these folks are on deathsquad lists. One girl, when we made it to Roussillon, gave me a big hug, and about a hundred kisses all over my face... *chuckle* That was pretty nice."
And what about the rest of the Colonial Movers? What can you tell me about them?
"All of us are like are own islands, ya know? Like... we don't even have, like ...a person in charge. There's a guy, Flynn, who's been doin' this job since Crayter, and he's kinda the boss, but we're all our own master. We just look for profit, move cargo, and all that goes to the Republic. A lot of us are moving cargo for the Military - ya know, ship building stuff. One guy has his ship pulling nothing but food for the folks on Pecos. There's this other guy, a Celestra skipper, whose been poaching cargo off Gaul transports in Orkney. That's what the 'Mover's is like - each ship does whatever we do to help."
That's some great stuff Kyp, and we're all real happy to have you fellas out there. One of your Movers even dropped off some goods here to the broadcast ship. Any song you'd like to hear, Kyp?
"Hell yeah - my ship's named 'Radar Rider' - so how about our theme song?" *chuckle*
You got it!
And for all the rest listening, feel free to call in some requests. Even our listeners in far off Gallia!
With all the excitement and slaughter in Gallia, our old friends, the drug and flesh peddlers of the sewage world called Malta, got a little upset. Apparently, they thought the Colonial Republic had forgotten about them, and drove a battleship through the Taus like it was their own backyard. Strange, yeah? Elements of the 49th, and the cruiser Pandora were on hand, and from what the rumors say, the beatdown was SAVAGE!
We haven't forgotten yah, scumbags! We're just busy with folks who actually matter!
Transports were on hand to offload the slave crew who managed to survive the destruction, and just like the good old days, were taken to Java, in the hope of finding them a better life. While the IMG has retained its affiliation with Gallia, the Republic was happy to see this old procedure still in place.
Here's a special song for all the miners, still toiling about in Tau 23, remembering the good days, when the Colonial Republic kept you safe. Keep workin', guys - better days are on the horizon.
In a strange turn of events, Gallia has announced the "Tri-National War Convention" - a polite get together of Gauls, and everyone they seek to kill or enslave - the topic? Maybe to beg everyone to stop making their war so hard! Especially since news from the front is, the GRN have been stalled by an influx of new talent in the 49th Strike Squadron, and especially Fleet Operations.
That's right boys and girls - after action reports have shown the highest numbers they have since the times of the old regime. Already a number of pilots have made Ace and continue to bag kill after kill in impressive displays of both prowess and bravery.
While the the Colonial Republic was invited to this convention, rumor has it, that the Republic was almost denied access outright. Why, you ask? Because Colonial forces in the Taus torched a Valor battleship that was acting as "escort" for a "diplomatic" envoy of "fighter craft" trying to force the IMG's cooperation with the convention at gunpoint.
The timely intervention of several bombers of the 49th, and namely the Cruiser Ved'ma - saved not only the IMG under threat from the Gauls, but destroyed the Valor, and chased the naval fighters back to Gallia - who were, reports indicate, led by a very young girl - no, not Alice DeFrance! No reports on who this teeny-bopper Gallic admiral is, but we'll keep you informed as we get the info. Despite the victory, the Gauls are still wanting the Republic to attend their convention.
And let me tell ya - as someone who lost an older brother to the gauls - if they look up to us
and beg for us to stop theThreeAlls My answer would be a sadistically whispered...
location: Planet Curacao , Cortez system
sender: Carribean herald news
to: Colonial radio network for eastern Sirius
We recieved important information from Dublin system recently. Omega 49 system is blocakded by mollies defensive automated military platform near jh . It seemed in first place that the base was civilian purpose for collectin gold and trading, but hat appear to be deceive. It is military facility. It started to operate recently and all ships civilian , comercial or military passing to o49 and out get heavily fired upon adn attacked.
Corsair fleet launched heavy attack on the base, zoner ships has been spoted and so one colonial cruiser in the vicinity. It is unclear if zoners and colonials taken part in this siege, although they were present.
We send you this news , maybe you will find it interesting for news coverage from Sirius for your audience.
Thanks for the call-in, buddy! Yeah, as strange as it sounds, the Mollys in Dublin have put up some fierce guns, pointed at anyone they want. You walk on, Mollys. Walk on.
However, I have about the best news I can report - while I've got a box of cigars here for the day when we win the war - I'm lightin' at least one of these bad boys up early. Why you ask? What's the news that's so smoke worthy?
It's simple, my dear listeners.
The Sevastopol Division is coming home.
It's a long story, to some of you not abreast with the events of the last six months. Some of us were offered greener pastures by Alvin Katz - premier of the Coalition. A few military units, lost, alone, and with no support from home, took Katz up on his offer.
And so, they went south, donned new uniforms, flew for a different leader, a different cause. Maybe some of them thought the dream of the Colonial Republic was over. Either way, they all knew that the Coalition was not their home, and that Katz was not their leader. Richard Connors beckoned them home, and yet they hesitated. But the call of family is a hard one to ignore.
Why, you ask? Because our radio coverage is now expanded to Kusari! All those now tuning in, wondering who this gaijin is, speakin' at ya - well, let me explain!
The evil empire of Gallia just signed a nifty new treaty with their new boyfriend - the empire *cough* - republic - *cough* house of Kusari. And what does that treaty entail, you might wonder?
Kusari's busted military is now being thrown into the war - since Gallia has been getting their behinds - bedecked with hello kitty bandaids for all that butthurt - kicked all up and down the taus. So, they're tapping in their newly conquered auxiliaries for a good old fashioned double team!
Hey hey hey, you all miss me? *laughs* Didn't think so. Time to tune in for anotha pirate broadcast. It's...
COLONIALRADIO
So get it straight, you hear, some of those Gauls don't take so kindly to my comments on their 'homely affairs'.
Some bunch of them tracked the Radio down, and left me floatin' out in '44 somewhere as an insult! Livin' on cheese puffs and energy drinks ain't doin' anythin' for ma figure, but I got these rockin' tunes to pass the time.
When I just started runnin' out (and we stocked up just before o' course), some of our proud CIS guys found me floatin' out in the Sumatra cloud! Damn I was close to old Singapore...
I guess the moral o' the story is to watch out for the spooks, because they sure as hell are watchin' you. That goes for everyone, friendly or not *heh*
I think I'll be takin' a step back, enjoy the warm weather on Yuma or summat. I'll let the new guy tell you about hi'self. Tom 'Toker' Hunterson, sound-ass guy I know from way back.