Discovery Gaming Community

Pages: 1 2 3 4

>>: VIDEO RECORD ACTIVATED
>>: Play? YES

Superintendent Shinosuke Kojima

--------------------

Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?

Shinosuke blinked a few times, before finally opening his eyes, his expression twisting with surprise as he laid eyes upon the vibrantly colored padding that lined the walls all around him, some areas noticeably marked with human shaped outlines.

What is this place? Some asylum? A house of horrors? I should find a way out bef--

His thoughts were interrupted as a monotonous tone reverberated all around him, seemingly out of nowhere, commanding an answer to it's strange questions.

"It's as my father used to say, all of this has happened before, and it will happen again "
He nodded sternly, closing his eyes, already beginning to lose hope that he would escape this strange place, whatever it was.

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?

"As a career police officer, starting within the Imperial State Police, and continuing to serve as the Superintendent of The Territorial Police Services, I have made quite a name for myself when it comes to taking out the trash.."
Shinosuke withdrew a pair of glasses, placing them over his eyes and pressing a small button, causing the lenses to tint, presumably to shield him from the bright lights now shining seemingly right above his head.

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?

"More grey hairs...or, no, maybe less hair? Hai, that sounds right...and maybe wrinkles, too...this place is very strange, I already feel much older. What is Windex, even?"
The old man simply nodded, a sort of confused grin crossing his face as he continued to look around his environment, spotting no familiar signs, he was finally starting to understand that he was in fact, not in Kusari anymore.

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)

"What position??? I still don't understand what you want! What IS this place?!...Am I to go mad here, alone in solitude? Do you take joy in this???"

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?

"I...I wouldn't wish this abduction, or being left to go mad in this solitary hell upon anybody else! I still don't even know why you've brought ME here, whatever you are...though somehow, this feels familiar...perhaps this is just a recurring dream, Hai...that must be it! any minute now I will wake up warm in my bed...I really should stop drinking Sake before trying to sleep.."

VIDEO FEED Lost :<<
Link Disconnected :<<

ADDRESSEE: Temple Of The Damned
SENDER: Thrawn
COMM IFF: Some crazy purger of Order origin
SUBJECT: Searching for crazies?

CONTENT:

Divine Postcard Paper Wrote:Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?
How tough the work is, bothers me not as much as how fast I'll whiz through it, and always end in the right spot.
*giggles* You may not know me, but I'm a hardworking bee.
After years, others would hold my cleaning tools as souvenirs.
And even that won't be enough, for I shall continue to hough those that dare to question the will of the tough.

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?
Mental power.

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?
By any chance, at least I'll have a glance of the system's inner stance.

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)
Righting wrongs. Moving stuff where it belongs.

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?
The rest are too mentally (un)stable.

OTHER (IR)RELEVANT INFORMATION: There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
ATTACHMENTS: N/A

Q1 - Need for justice. You can work me all you want, force is strong with me. It's not up to me to decide if I deserved to hold the mop of cleaning.

Q2 - Nothing, if I do become one I will be far from the best.

Q3 - I expect nothing in return.

Q4 - Using modhammer to smack offenders.

Q5 - I'm sure there are ones better suited for this then me, but since I don't have many friends I don't have one to name.

Slowly approaching the ground piece by piece, snow looked like cotton sprinkled around the dim street light. Covered under a cardboard box, a child shivered. His hunger stabbed on his stomach like sharp knives.... he pressed his little hands on his belly to dim the pain, and tried to imagine a full stomach.

It was no use... He was dizzy from hunger. And cold... his clothes were ripped apart and dirtied with dust and dry blood.

He pushed the cardboard off himself weakly, made an attempt at staying up on his thin legs. The attempt fell short, so did he fall upon the hard ground on his face.

He shed tears... Black, dusty, dirty tears.

With no hope left for him, he could only pray to the almighty Admins... Pray for food, shelter, or for a comfortable departure from this cruel world.

And lo! A pillar of light shone upon him, parted dark clouds, overwhelmed his eyes. The cold ran away hurriedly from this magnificient light, and for once, the boy was filled with sweet warmth.

A glowing object flew down towards him slowly, as if it was guided by solemn angels.

It was a piece of paper, and it had golden letters writing upon it. But the kid did not know how to read it, and he was again filled with much distress!

Thankfully, it spoke with a magnificient booming voice...And so it said to him:

Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?

The boy was startled... flailed his arms around where he sat, he stuttered, "W-wha? Sir?" But taking a moment to think, he decided anything was better than how he already is, so he continued with effort, "Y-yes! Sir! I'll work hard!"

Of course, he had no idea what he was signing up for.

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?

"I am tough, sir! And I do not complain! I c-can take a beating, sir!" he said, then added looking down at himself, "D-despite how I look like sir! I am stronger than I look, I swear!"

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?

"No! N-nothing, sir!..." he gulped, pressed his hands harder at his stomach, "M-maybe... something to eat? And drink? A little?" he asked weakly and hopefully. His eyes opened wide like that of a helpless puppy's.

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)

"R-responsibilities! I... I'll hold the mop for you... sir? And do whatever you say? U-uhm... I'll get to eat, right?" he was not sure he'd get to eat, but he certainly liked this warmth around him at least.

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?

"I... I have no one else... sir... I..." he felt very guilty while he said that, for some reason, "I've no one else left... no family, nor friends, sir... I am sorry..." he added meekly, feeling he could easily upset the holy paper with this reply.

In a dark room lit only by the monotonous glow of computer monitors and holographic projections, a man is snoring, collapsed upon a gigantic armchair; suddenly, a ping from one of the nearby terminals stirs the comatose form into action. Raising himself slowly, he tries - and fails - to focus his attention on the offending equipment, before collapsing back down.

A minute passes. The figure stirs.

"Hrmmm... Wha...? What time is it?"

The man's eyes are visibly struggling to target the flashing screen; after a couple of seconds, however, he succeeds, and sits himself straighter upon his proverbial throne.

"A transmission, eh... "

The words "DIVINE POSTCARD PAPER" were plastered elegantly on the screen, and a pungent, perfect smell filled the air, almost reminding one of coffee, yet too perfect for even the most masterful of brews... The man leaned over to the now interesting, pulsating screen, almost as if he was drawn in by the call of a superior, almighty being. As his enthralled face hovered above the console, the words changed.

Divine Postcard Paper Wrote:Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?

The man stared at the screen, until a gently pulsating timer appeared at the bottom, slowly counting down until the 28th of this month. Quickly, the man righted himself and summoned a holographic keyboard, and began typing an answer directly onto the otherworldly application.

Divine Postcard Paper Wrote:Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?
...I do believe this message was thrust upon my shoulders by your good self, whomever you are; however, hard work is nothing that should be feared by any man worthy of being called such. Nay, work is work, and is a necessary, positive part of anyone's life, no matter how dull or dangerous it is.

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?
Do you have any idea how hard it was to clean up after those imbéciles in the old Commonwealth bio labs on Freeport 10? I dare say I have more experience wielding a mop than even the most seasoned of housewives.

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?
Nothing apart from fun and memories, as well as hopefully friends. That is how jobs usually (and hopefully) work out, oui?

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)
Responsibilities? Well, apart from the obvious mopping, rinsing, scrubbing, and sorting, maybe scaring ducks instead? They do tend o be more clingy than geese. Or seagulls maybe.

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?
I dare say that mewing cats (A soft "Miaou" is heard in the distance) tend to be ruthlessly efficient at cleaning things; something to do with their tongues, I believe.

Having completed the form, the man the collapsed, as if his very life essence has already been drained by the godly powers infused in the terminal. As his head fell to one side and a thin stream of drool escaped his lips, the screen seemed to glow brighter for a few brief instants, before shutting off altogether.

Pierre St. Denis is sat in his Office looking at the latest set of Results from the Employee’s Opinion Survey of the Gallic Metal Service. Overall he is happy with the Results, but some of the comments leave him perturbed. The overwhelming one is that the Workers appear to believe that the Management have lost touch with them.

The idea that is formulating in his mind is what if he becomes a simple worker and starts at the bottom again? This would then allow him to appreciate how the common worker feels. The problem is how to do it that so that nobody recognises him?

He is still sitting contemplating this quandary when his terminal lights up with an incoming message. His initial reaction as he starts to read it is to shout at the terminal “Those damn IT people, how many time have I told them to filter the spam before it gets to my Desk”? He starts to carry on with his rant when suddenly an idea starts to grow in his mind. He then starts to read the article even more closely and becomes thoroughly engrossed in it as the idea grows.

Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitor’s console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?
Pierre things carefully on this one, ‘I can’t tell them that I am a CEO of a multi-billion Franc Gallic Business’ he mutters to himself. With that he writes:
I have spent many years as a Janitor at Roanne Production Facility and would like to further myself with a new challenging role.

"Well at least they don’t know me there" he chuckles.

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?
This question causes Pierre a bit of a problem. Having never been a Janitor before he is struggling to think like one. After 20 minutes of brainstorming he fills in his best reply that came to mind.
Over the years I have cleaned Roanne from top to bottom, many times, and have regularly been praised by people on how thoroughly I do my job.

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?
This definitely has got Pierre stumped. “What the hell is The Holy Windex”? He asks the terminal which, not surprisingly, doesn’t answer him. “It must some kind of Sirian cleaning fluid” he says as he heads to the Executive Washroom. He locates the cupboard where the Janitor keeps all his cleaning gear. There he finds, on the cleaning trolley, mops, brushes, different sprays and cleaning fluids but no Holy Windex. He starts to wheel the trolley back in to the Office and notices that it doesn’t want to go where he wants it to go and all the time it appears to have an annoying squeak. Once at his desk the list starts to grow:

A super deluxe cleaning trolley that goes in the direction you push it, without squeaky wheels, new mops, brushes and some of those self-cleaning cloths.

He decides to stop the list there as he doesn’t want to appear greedy.

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities).
These perspective Employers are definitely weird people’ he thinks to himself ‘they have geese in their Offices’? ‘Well geese leave mess around and if they have geese, heaven knows what else they have’ he muses.
Clean up any potential mess that accrues in the Offices to the utmost of my ability.

Pierre sits back feeling very pleased with himself over that answer, but that suddenly vanishes when he reads the next question.

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?
Pierre sits there scratching his head as he only knows the Janitor that cleans the Executive Washrooms. He decides to write the answer to the question as diplomatically as he can.
I am certain there are plenty of people who could/would do a lot better job of this than I. I am sure that if they want the job they will apply. All I can say after that is that I would do the job to the best of my ability and am open to learning new ways of doing things.

With the completion of the last question Pierre hits the send button, sits back and wonders if he has done the right thing.

"Huh, what, where, how?!" The oranged haired guy with a tail and pair of cat ears said in a very upset tone as he woke up from his bathtub, with his reproductive organ in a quite straight forward position.

"Nya~~...Why am I here? How, come on man I was about to get lucky...dammit Ny-A~!" He sighed, it seemed that he was in the land of cyber beforehand. Getting up his naked wet body was dripping water onto the cold floor. He shook it off his tail but was still quite wet. The first thing on his mind was to find a towel rather then finding out where he was. He took a short walk trough the hall, finding a strange green one at the end of it.

"Property of the [A]dmins Nya~?" He read the label on it as he picked it up.

"Meh, its a towel." The man neko whatever wrapped it around his hip with no hessitation, cracking his neck slightly and turning around with his tail wagging underneath. When suddenly the towel dissapeared without any warning. On his strangely positioned reproductive organ was a little piece of paper stating that the towel was Bastiled.

He would then see someone approaching, wearing an orange uniform. It was one of the janitors, Shinju it seems. Having nowhere to go he started to panic. But to his luck there was a small janitors closet on the celling. As he reached for it the, the closets door would bolt open sucking him in just before she passed him. He was relieved that he went unnoticed dropping onto the floor with his arms spread and his tail in between his legs. After some time he tried opening the door, but the handle would turn into a pamhlet that found its way into his hand. He slowly took it up and opened it, it would read as an application of some sort.

"Nya~? No way out of here it seems, I as might as well try it." The same moment a green pencil would appear in his hand without any explanation on how it got there. Confused and a bit hungover he started writing, each question would appear only after the previous one was filled.

Quote:Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?

"No way out of here. Might as well be productive or whatever."

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?

"Wait, this is a janitor application? Awesim."

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?

"Can I fart in your coffee? That would be awesome, and I expect the answer to be yes. And you can notice I didnt use the term which usually happens after you fart, especially when sitting on a toilet."

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)

"What does that word mean? I need an explanation, please. I'm determined and hard working but, seriously what does responsible mean? Someone? Hello? Oh wait, ahh, now I remember. Being chained to something or whatever, I dont, I mean. Yeah..."

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?

Shizune-senpai~! Nya~!

A machine stirred in the corner of the Oyster Creek command console. It was loud and making grinding-type noises. Then, as if nothing had happened at all, a piece of paper abruptly poked out of an aperture in the console .

Jimmy had not seen this before. Actual parchment. With writings. A message. He glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then hunched over, the glow of the console screen barely enough to see by in the darkened command centre.

Reading further down, a frown furrowed his brow, then a slight laugh. Who the heck were these guys? And why did they think he wanted to be their janitor?

Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?

Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?

Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?

Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)

Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?

A slight smirk appeared. Turning the paper over to the blank side, Jimmy began to write in a scrawl reminiscent to that of a 14 year old with acute anger issues.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for credits, I can tell you I don't have any. What I do have is a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career of forum lurking. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

If you stop spamming me with your job offers that will be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you.

But if you don't, I will look for you. I will find you. And I will moderate you.

With a smug expression on his face like that of someone who had successfully prank called some unwitting stranger, he fed the piece of paper back into the machine. It made several beeping sounds followed by something like static. Then a smell, strange, like fresh ectoplasm, or maybe corrosive organic acid, or maybe more like diesel fumes...

Incoming Transmission
Comm ID: Tyler "RJ-45" Fallon

Comm IFF: Junker

Encryption: <<Medium>>

Relay Path: ://Newport Station, Sat-77261004, Sat-77261011, Ambassador Drone Gamma-4, Zoner-Satellite-Delta>>

Can't say I e'er dun' seen a job postin' for somethin' the likes'a this but.. wit' the Junkin' market gettin' all kinds'a saturated these days wit' them kids roamin' around and takin' all the good parts 'afore us pros get to 'em, I gosta make ends meet to keep the ol' girl afloat.

So, guessin' I'll be havin a looksi here; whaddya got fer little ol' me?

Quote:
Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?

I work'd all kinds'a jobs in m'uh day. Scrappin', dealin' with all kinds'a folk left n' right-- It ain't all somethin' new t'me. I-a managed a crew 'a one'a them fancy combat' trans'perts fer a few years. I us'ta do on'a these "janiterial" jobs a looooooong time back. Now, I like these 'ere parts well 'nuff; I'da hate to see 'em go downhill just cos'a we ain't got none to manage th' controls or even jus' mop up a few floors here'n there. I'd be mor'than willin' to put in th'time t'help out.

I'd like t'think m'contributions 'round these parts have helped; I regularly sit 'round and show som'a these 'ere kids th'ropes. Be it tradin' or scrappin, I show 'em what it takes t'get the cash flowin'. R'member this un'kid, went by th'name'a "Doctor Orange", thought he was 'gon change the world wit' this escortin' service'a his. I be hopin' he's out thar' somewhar', savin' som' poor lug from some dern fool who gots him a ship bearin' some teeth.

I 'onc tried'ta make a bit'a cash makin' som vidyas for the youngin's. I'd lik'ta think they help'd some but iunno. Still considerin' makin more, maybe focusin' on helpin' th' rooks out. Future's a big place-- jus'gota make it yer own.

Quote:Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?

Superior' un' inferior ain't a-matterin'. Thar'aint two yokels that're th'same an' t'assume otherwise is'ta be in errer.

Quote:Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?

If'I be allow'd t'be talkin' a little more on th' loopy end 'ere; I'd make it m'sole duty t'seekout and capt'ur a dern-pow'rful ghost wit' m'pattended Ghost Murderlator 3000 Onc'I got's that dun' I'ma make me on'a them shcmancy shrines fer fancifyin' up m'quart'rs.

Oth'awise, no. This' be a job 'bout helpin' and cleanin'.

Quote:Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)

Dern it. I was told' thar'd be goose-scarin.

It'sa cleanin' an' fixin' job; Y'clean th'droppin's away when they aints want'd, and y'fix them consol'z when som'un asks' 'em t'be fixed.

Quote:Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?

This on' fella I knew ferever back... "Wildkinnies?" was it? I dun can't rememb'r; I ain't quite spry 'nuff t'be keepin' up wit' these newfangled "names" they gots themselves now.
A'course, y'can never go wrong wit' a'nuther junk'r cleanin' yer place; The youngblood Missus Regalia would be a right-dandy choice.

Quote:Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?

Verily, I am unworthy to even consider staining the ethereal airs of the Temple of the Damned, nevermind sullying the impeccable mirror-bright finish of the immaculate Almighty Mop of Cleansing with my calloused fingers, but inasmuch as I rightly hold myself in such poor regard in comparison to those rightful residents of the hallowed halls of the Temple of the Damned, I would berate myself further if I failed to offer up unto munificent magnificences my lowly services in the removal of Tractor oil-slicks, ectoplasm and spilled kitty-litter

Quote:Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?

I have thirteen different recipes for household cleaning products that require little-to-no Zoner's Tears, meaning that more tears are available for cleaning the coffee machines. I also have Chronic OCD - an advantage in a janitor - and an empirical interest in chemistry. Have you tried combining the kitty litter with the ectoplasm to remove the tractor oil? Even if it doesn't work as a detergent, ghost-mayo makes a thoughtful gift.

Quote:Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?

It would be a sign of your philanthropy if I were allowed to use "THE HOLY WINDEX" as cologne. Or even mouthwash, as the dehydrating effect would enable me to maintain the proper puckered lips and glowering facial expression that is the hallmark of a true janitor.

Quote:Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)

I believe that the majority of my responsibilities would devolve around the use of The Mop, The Windex, the cleaning of The Coffee Machine and the careful inventorying of Tractor Oil Stains for future use in Rorschach Tests. In short, I would be doing anything that interferes with the process of brewing or drinking coffee.

Quote:Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?

It ill-behoves a man to bring up names of the past. The mere mention of their names carries with it towering cumulonimbii of emotional storms, that those of my advanced years recognise flashing through another's breast with a quiet nod, and perhaps a silent, respectful tear wiped surreptitiously away with a sleeve. Here I could mention names of such wonder and greatness that their deeds will be reverberating throughout the firmament eternally. As lowly as I am, I remember who slew Akumabito, and could tell you tales of their heroism and selfless devotion to The Duty. I could tell you the tale of the one who took a rabble of rowdy imported characters from another dimension, and with the hammer of experience on the anvil of RP, forged a mighty faction that stalemated the over-powered Kusarian war machine through grit, skills, dietermination and charisma....
But....
Any Janitor, any true Janitor must hold true to the ideals of ... of...*sniff*...of The First. Of he who came before us, and now is no longer with us. Not one aspiring janitor could or should ever consider themselves worthy of mentioning his name, never mind having the temerity to compare themselves to Him, or to even merely gain credence by the relative juxtaposition of their name with His in a sentence, but I shall do as My Lords have commanded. No true aspirant to the position of Janitor could ever look higher than The First Janitor. Igiss.

Pages: 1 2 3 4

Sarawr!?

Tarator

Geolog

Sol

Caconym

St.Denis

Neonzumi

|nfrared

Sciamach

Coin