You've been putting effort in to things and trying, and I'm glad you're asking for help with stuff. Keep up the good work and you'll improve in no time.
(08-17-2016, 06:02 AM)Vendetta Wrote: [ -> ]You've been putting effort in to things and trying, and I'm glad you're asking for help with stuff. Keep up the good work and you'll improve in no time.
Thanks Ven, it's been good with you helping i appreciate it alot!
Great job so far. It's good work for a starting story. We chatted a bit about it on skype, so none of this will be news to you. Some visual aids would really improve your story. Screenshots, video, chat logs, etc help to tie it in with the actual in game encounters you have. It allows players to physically see what you have experienced. As you continue the story I am sure it will start coming together into a more cohesive story. I like the premise, starting off as CR. I don't know if this will help or not, but it would be cool to know more about your life before leaving the Republic. Like, what did you do? Did you achieve any sort of rank or acclaim? Did you leave family behind in the Republic? Some more backstory would be awesome.
Yeah i understand what you mean, I'm working on a character bio that's just his journal i'll end up making his story soon!
but thanks heaps bill, means heaps. 
looks good, keep up a good work pal
You're starting to develop Orlando into a nuanced character. He comes off as a hotblooded, hotheaded hotshot, but with a conscience which is ultimately lawful good and an ego directed at helping people out. Him and Nesrin are going to get along swimmingly.
I'm glad you like it dunc, I generally like your RP aswell.
It's good to spend most my time flying with you and learning a lot, I learnt alot from you.
Just wanted to give this a bump that I Edited / Added some things and am in the progress of catching up on some of this.
Decently written. I appreciate the ample amount of scenic detail without the need to go over-board describing things that don't matter.