05-27-2018, 12:56 AM
It's been about three months since my, rather angry, departure over an incident in which I believe all parties involved were at fault, and I've had a bit of time to think.
What have I learned?
It is difficult to get what everyone wants right off the bat, even more difficult when you aim for a goal with my liked and disliked style of RP. And, to quote Dr. Malcom from Jurassic Park.
After waiting a month to get even a hint of co-operation, that even in my time as the leader of at least four official factions I myself bent into RP avenues that were not liked by a good bit of the faction I represented, (See RFP Pilot turning to Das Wilde for best reference) but in the end still opened up possibilities for others in the community to contribute and enjoy, I found myself quite virtually boiling over when all I got in return was a cruel joke and "We're sorry if we offended you." I see that with my ignorance into thinking that I could finally, just finally get my biggest goal completed, didn't think of going a step further in working with Lanakov when he took command. Likewise the part that he didn't take in talking to me on goals and means just because it was his faction.
I believe that the better and best leaders for factions not only take chances, risks, and opportunity to see the "What would or could happen that we can get a bit of fun or activity from?" but go down angles that at first, others will not like. Again I quote my Polizei officer turning to Das WIlde as best example off the bat.
So I will take the first step in saying this.
Lanakov. I'm sorry. Can we try again and do things that will work for both of us?
To the community.
Forgive me for my very abrupt and unruly behavior in which I stated things that were weighing heavily on me for literally many years before. It was unprofessional and unwise as a Disco Veteran to act upon such. I know that there are few people who would support my RP and I admit that, yes, I do skirt the rules dangerously close so, not because I find thrill in it. But because hiding my characters is pretty much what I have to do now in order to make any progress with them. I lose... the soul, of what makes my rp so enjoyable when its hidden from full view. It physically does hurt as a writer, that I must self censor myself to such a degree I lose faith in what I want to write for others to enjoy. There have been thousands of views on my stories and I take pride in seeing myself grow from the bottom to one that is nearly writing a book. But its like a mark of shame now compared to when I first started out to write what I do, Even when people say its immersion breaking, so on so forth.
Sincerely, its wrong to break rules, however I believe that we could better ourselves to simply review such. Does it effect us still in negative ways that is harmful to the community? Can I be permitted to continue this only if I take extra steps with others who I wish to roleplay with like, "Are you fine with this?" or " Should I change this so that we both can enjoy this rp?" and so on. Censorship of any kind sucks. Having to restrict yourself sucks. Hurting people in out of context actions sucks. But having to destroy what you created sucks the worst.
I want to stay in this community, because it was the first online one I ever took part in and help make it better. At the same time, I want to have fun and enjoy what goes on in it.
What have I learned?
It is difficult to get what everyone wants right off the bat, even more difficult when you aim for a goal with my liked and disliked style of RP. And, to quote Dr. Malcom from Jurassic Park.
Quote:"If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously,"
After waiting a month to get even a hint of co-operation, that even in my time as the leader of at least four official factions I myself bent into RP avenues that were not liked by a good bit of the faction I represented, (See RFP Pilot turning to Das Wilde for best reference) but in the end still opened up possibilities for others in the community to contribute and enjoy, I found myself quite virtually boiling over when all I got in return was a cruel joke and "We're sorry if we offended you." I see that with my ignorance into thinking that I could finally, just finally get my biggest goal completed, didn't think of going a step further in working with Lanakov when he took command. Likewise the part that he didn't take in talking to me on goals and means just because it was his faction.
I believe that the better and best leaders for factions not only take chances, risks, and opportunity to see the "What would or could happen that we can get a bit of fun or activity from?" but go down angles that at first, others will not like. Again I quote my Polizei officer turning to Das WIlde as best example off the bat.
So I will take the first step in saying this.
Lanakov. I'm sorry. Can we try again and do things that will work for both of us?
To the community.
Forgive me for my very abrupt and unruly behavior in which I stated things that were weighing heavily on me for literally many years before. It was unprofessional and unwise as a Disco Veteran to act upon such. I know that there are few people who would support my RP and I admit that, yes, I do skirt the rules dangerously close so, not because I find thrill in it. But because hiding my characters is pretty much what I have to do now in order to make any progress with them. I lose... the soul, of what makes my rp so enjoyable when its hidden from full view. It physically does hurt as a writer, that I must self censor myself to such a degree I lose faith in what I want to write for others to enjoy. There have been thousands of views on my stories and I take pride in seeing myself grow from the bottom to one that is nearly writing a book. But its like a mark of shame now compared to when I first started out to write what I do, Even when people say its immersion breaking, so on so forth.
Sincerely, its wrong to break rules, however I believe that we could better ourselves to simply review such. Does it effect us still in negative ways that is harmful to the community? Can I be permitted to continue this only if I take extra steps with others who I wish to roleplay with like, "Are you fine with this?" or " Should I change this so that we both can enjoy this rp?" and so on. Censorship of any kind sucks. Having to restrict yourself sucks. Hurting people in out of context actions sucks. But having to destroy what you created sucks the worst.
I want to stay in this community, because it was the first online one I ever took part in and help make it better. At the same time, I want to have fun and enjoy what goes on in it.
