Discovery Gaming Community

One of the effects within Chaos Mod is a text-to-speech effect. For this we play various copy-pastas while the player suffers through them, but we only have like 8 or so currently. Hoping we can increase that number if anyone is willing to help. If so, the criteria are as follows:

• Freelancer related if possible. Will add non-Freelancer related ones/discovery ones if they are really good
  
• Min character count of 100, max character count of 500. Can go slightly over/under, but rough guidelines.
  

few existing examples:
- "I hope my cargo hold full of water fetches me a nice price."
- "I'm Edison Trent and this is my favourite shop in the Sirius Sector."
- "I don't use Discord anymore, as it's become a hive of cyber-criminals, hackers, terrorists and traitors to the United States, among other reasons." (posted on The Starport)

Feel free to post here or message me privately.

Cardamine, cardamine, everybody wants cardamine.

All we have is Liberty Ale, friend.

...is that a Rheinland Cruiser?

"I'm engaging Freelancer Alpha-1-dash-1."
"Mind if I take a peek in your cargo hold? Didn't think so!"

Double stupid moment, reedited.

"You think you're safe, but you're not."

I'm surprised that nobody has posted this one yet (unless it's a thing already):

Quote:Acknowledged, Freeport 7. We’ll see you in about two weeks.

It's a little short, but it is the stuff for any leaving thread (because it usually comes true too).

-Civilian ship this is a classified navy operation, do yourself a favor and keep it quiet.

-I don't want to end up like corpse before my time, cuz you were day dreaming.

-Activation sequence completed, lane jump initiated

-System Jump Successful, all system show green

-Scanners show no enemy target.

-I'm going to use what's left of you to grease my ship

"Joining the ranks of the radical left?"

alt:

"No, I am sorry, your rep is very unworthy. The [Zoners] don't appreciate human life, when it interferes with their profits."

alt.

"Sure. As long as I’m not shot at, knocked out, held at gunpoint, electrocuted, skewered alive by giant alien shape-shifters, have to dive out windows or fight off spindly Nomad incubi… everything should be fine."