Jane Hartman

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Liberty Navy

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Commanding Officer of the Liberty Navy's 10th Fleet during the Leeds incursion, Jane Hartman's military career has not turned out as she'd hoped. Originally a rifleman in the Marines, Hartman's unflinching commitment to the Liberty Navy saw her rise to senior officer rank, much to her chagrin. More at home on a battlefield then the bridge of a transport, Hartman resents her posting to a combat support unit and the contempt it brings from 'real' soldiers, a frustration that often trickles down to her subordinates.

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Sparks

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Vereinigte Widerstandsarmee Exile

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A mechanical prodigy, Sparks has turned life in to a largely successful attempt to flee from responsibility. Happy as long as there’s some problem that needs fixing, she nonetheless indulges a slightly unhealthy paranoid streak. Flighty and impulsive, she simultaneously counts herself as a Rogue, Zoner, Freelancer, and Revolutionary, and maintains contacts among all four. Born Sarah McFarlen and originally a Manhattan runaway she left behind a wealthy family in favour of a life among the stars. She still carries guilt over the grief she has caused; both during her escape and in her time among Liberty’s pirates.

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Camille Gabriel

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Gallic Royal Navy

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Evasive, snide, and utterly loyal to the Gallic Crown, Camille serves as an Officer in the Foreign Legion of the King's Navy in name only. In reality, the nature of her service is as flexible as the morality of some of her superiors, and she frequently serves in a special operations capacity. Constant postings beyond Gallia have left her with a faint disconnection from the house of her birth. Despite the tangled nature of her job, she adheres to a strict moral code, longing to return to Lyons a hero and a noble.

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Melanie Tyler

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Orbital Spa & Cruise

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Once a test pilot with the Liberty Air Force’s doomed forays into space, Melanie resigned her commission in disgust over the Navy’s handling of the Normandie affair. Despite the inglorious nature of her exit from the armed forces, Melanie maintains close ties with the Bretonians she fought alongside in Leeds and, despite directions from her new bosses on Spa and Cruise’s Board of Directors, she struggles to bring herself to see the Gallics as anything more than a nation of conquerors bent on subjugating her home.

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(07-03-2015, 10:10 AM)Commissar Wrote: Hey Swallow,

Thank you for the feedback! I'm just really glad that someone beside me's reading the things, and I appreciate you taking the time to drop a note here. Both Requiem and Visiting Hours have new posts now, and I'm hoping to keep the former moving reasonably steadily.

I've been keeping an eye on Liliana's biography as well. The art you've got in there is brilliant - particularly How to maintain your Decurion. Just a suggestion as far as the writing goes, but you might want to do away with the * asterisks to show Liliana's actions. It's a handy convention in-game, but on the forums it's not really required, and tends to break up the flow of the post. Similarly, I've noticed tenses can jump around a bit, which can also disrupt the flow (for example, Liliana squints her eyes and tries to block bright sunlight with her hand. As her eyes are getting used to the light after being in dark room, she finally could look around. should probably be Liliana squinted her eyes and tried to block the bright sunlight with her hand. As her eyes are adjusted to the light, she could finally look around. (if you're going for past-tense). Either way, thank you. It's great to see the effort you're putting into your characters.