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+--- Thread: Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa (/showthread.php?tid=12283)
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Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - Eternal - 09-20-2008
Ok , since school hit up and I've had alot of new duties to fullfill , I haven't had time to continue on my charecters story ( if you wish to read it , click on the two links below my signature). So , given the little time I have and don't wish to waste it in something that wont happen , so I want to know is it possible/ok with the comunity and the admins to grand me (after long RP's with the Bs and so on) terrorist ID.
Ship Class - Osiris Battleship
Weaponry - 10 Light Corsair Turrets , Mortar and Inferno
Motives - All in the story
I guess I would just like some feedback.
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - Reverend Del - 09-23-2008
Moved and re-opened. Have fun Eternal.
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - Eternal - 09-23-2008
Аgain , thank you Del.
This thread is only for feedback about my story/charecter and ingame Role Play.
Any advises are most welcomed.
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - CusoJR - 09-23-2008
Threat or thread?
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - cmfalconer - 09-23-2008
Would it be possible, Eternal, to get a short synopsis of the story? OOC would be just fine for this thread's purposes.
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - Eternal - 09-23-2008
' Wrote:Threat or thread?
Point taken.
Short OOC story
Mirage Bre'Delakorsa is the daughter of Admiral Bre'Delakorsa , an old corsair elder who has been transfered from the Corsairs to the Order's survice many years ago. Years back , when Mirage was young his ship was destroyed by an unknown couse and she lost her arm in that accident. Years past and Mirage slowly unfolded many things about her father , it seemed that he was accused in treason by the Order and his file is still kept a secret.It was not possible for her to continue her duties towards the Order with only one arm , so she constructed one herself , from the living titue of a nomad ship , she grew her own , perfect replica of the human arm , with encanced streinght and durability. The only drawback was , that the arm required a living nomad to "pilot" it like a ship. It was more of a symbiotic state between the titue of the arm and the nomad *(doesn't meen the nomad brain controled the arm)*.She drugged it into a state of letrargy and was now free to continue with her goals.The young woman was motivated to show her usefulness to the Order and after a long period of time she took over the power that her father ones had. Her main interest was not to fight Liberty or to destroy the constantly coming forces of the Bounty Hunters. Her main goal was to find more evidence of the lives of ancient beings known as the Xel'Naga. Ever since her father died , Mirage's greater fear has been death itself , learning more about those creatures led her to believe they might just hold the key to the one thing she seeked the most - immortality. During a mission in Liberty , her fighter was detected and destroyed and she was taken captive inside a prison within the Alaska system. Many things changed within her , the nomad awoke from it's dormant state and tried to take over her body , after defeating it psysicly she found a way to benefit from the awakaned nomad , she found that it was possible for her mind to use the psyhic abilities of the creature for her own use , giving her the ability to "see" within another human's mind for a short period of time. The prison accident changed her view over Liberty and the Order , her mind was now consumed with hatred towards both parties , she hated the Libertorians for torturing her and she despised Black Squadron for not aiding with her escape. Twisted by hatred , Mirage received transmitions and rumors about the Black Squadron , signing some sort of threaty with Liberty. She was litting her feelings deside for her and now her anger has taken over control of her. Seeking revange , she desided to contact a third party to do her dirty work and who better then the monstar she had only heard rumors of - Mon'Star. It was not easy , but she finaly barganed with him for the destruction of a Liberty ship , filled with new graduates from West Point , in exchange for one ship , she had salvaged and repaired - Wild Gunboat. What will her action now be ?
Short , Short story of the .. story
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - Corsair - 09-24-2008
Very nice. I may make a pure-RP character like that. After I get out of bankruptcy, of course.
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - Eternal - 09-24-2008
-= Bump =-
Almost no feedback ? Either it's a flawless story (I seriosly doubt that) , or people have nothing to say ?
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - n00bl3t - 09-25-2008
Your story looks fine. (I've read it before and only had to read the "new additions" since then.)
Apart from that, spelling, punctuation and some words need a space in between them.
Well done and good luck with the Terrorist ID.:D
Feedback:Au'Rora / Mirage Bre'Delakorsa - Dantrithor - 09-25-2008
Mike will never forget about what you did. He will always seek revenge... always.