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+--- Thread: Renewed Discourse (/showthread.php?tid=186694)
RE: Renewed Discourse - Toaster - 03-09-2021
A string of confessions had not been what Olivia expected when she agreed to meet with Damien. As she nursed her drink, a handful of thoughts scurried around her mind, each vying enviously for her attention.
Shoot him, one cried. Save lives and earn the bounty!
He's only human, another reminded. Give him a chance.
Just leave, a third cautioned. Don't get involved.
Each of them, she knew, had a valid point. Damien was one of the most wanted criminals in Liberty. The bounty on his head would likely be enough to let her retire for good and live out the rest of her life in relative comfort on a frontier world. But she had - to her dismay - spent too much time with the man to just draw a gun on him and put him down right then and there. She knew that somewhere buried below his facade of calculation and ideology, there was a real person. The person that was sitting beside her right now.
A terrorist, she caught herself and sighed. How could she feel sorry for something like that?
"It was your choice to become what you are. Walk away from it and save yourself."
Shoot him, one cried. Save lives and earn the bounty!
He's only human, another reminded. Give him a chance.
Just leave, a third cautioned. Don't get involved.
Each of them, she knew, had a valid point. Damien was one of the most wanted criminals in Liberty. The bounty on his head would likely be enough to let her retire for good and live out the rest of her life in relative comfort on a frontier world. But she had - to her dismay - spent too much time with the man to just draw a gun on him and put him down right then and there. She knew that somewhere buried below his facade of calculation and ideology, there was a real person. The person that was sitting beside her right now.
A terrorist, she caught herself and sighed. How could she feel sorry for something like that?
"It was your choice to become what you are. Walk away from it and save yourself."
RE: Renewed Discourse - Reeves - 03-09-2021
The suggestion she gave him must have been hard to hear, because he would drain the contents of his glass by knocking it back. The second or two afterward just consisted of him taking a sigh and clearing his throat in contemplation, clearly feeling the burn on the way down just as he'd felt the same pass through both ears. "If I walk, it leaves a lot of people strung out at the mercy of Liberty. Me being here, doing the things I do, helps motivate something that resembles a resistance to the way things work. If I could make it so that we succeed in the biggest of ways and can finally live in our own corner and be left alone, then all of this would stop." The burden he carried seemed to be the weight formed by the dreams of a collective people. The idea of a Free Republic, for people who couldn't fit into the Liberty that was and naturally craved for one that could be.
"I did make a choice, but the people alongside me didn't have that luxury. All the choices that mattered had already been made for them. This isn't the life any of them want, I'm even sure half of them don't want to live anymore and that's why they volunteer to fight. So that they can die as quickly as possible, just on their feet. None of them will admit it, but they're tired of all this. It's been centuries of just this. Surviving isn't living." Speaking clearly and without any intensity very much highlighted that he wasn't delivering political monologue but merely clarifying that a genuine plight did exist. And even further that this was down to a vicious cycle out of any one person's control, instead propped up by an entire system that had gone far beyond its mandate so far as Liberty was concerned.
He paused momentarily, clearly feeling the weight of what the mission actually was and how hard it must have been to keep at it, through the worst of opposition. To his defense, Liberty would never be inclined to peacefully acquiesce and allow the Xenos to live as they intended. Even if the ultimate goal was isolation, they were still a resource, and their departure and subsequent independence would hurt the margins beyond repair. "Me walking away just puts them all back to square one. And we both know the only way they'll painstakingly recover from that is just more of the same." As much as his views under normal circumstances might have been extreme, there was nothing illogical to what he'd explained so far. A people who wanted to be free would fight by any means to achieve it, all the more so if denied that right. The entire cause was a byproduct of that vicious cycle, and him leaving simply reset the clock on it and prolonged said cycle, to the benefit of nobody.
"I did make a choice, but the people alongside me didn't have that luxury. All the choices that mattered had already been made for them. This isn't the life any of them want, I'm even sure half of them don't want to live anymore and that's why they volunteer to fight. So that they can die as quickly as possible, just on their feet. None of them will admit it, but they're tired of all this. It's been centuries of just this. Surviving isn't living." Speaking clearly and without any intensity very much highlighted that he wasn't delivering political monologue but merely clarifying that a genuine plight did exist. And even further that this was down to a vicious cycle out of any one person's control, instead propped up by an entire system that had gone far beyond its mandate so far as Liberty was concerned.
He paused momentarily, clearly feeling the weight of what the mission actually was and how hard it must have been to keep at it, through the worst of opposition. To his defense, Liberty would never be inclined to peacefully acquiesce and allow the Xenos to live as they intended. Even if the ultimate goal was isolation, they were still a resource, and their departure and subsequent independence would hurt the margins beyond repair. "Me walking away just puts them all back to square one. And we both know the only way they'll painstakingly recover from that is just more of the same." As much as his views under normal circumstances might have been extreme, there was nothing illogical to what he'd explained so far. A people who wanted to be free would fight by any means to achieve it, all the more so if denied that right. The entire cause was a byproduct of that vicious cycle, and him leaving simply reset the clock on it and prolonged said cycle, to the benefit of nobody.
RE: Renewed Discourse - Toaster - 03-09-2021
Here we go again, Olivia thought as she listened to the Xeno.
Resisting. Surviving. Living. All the while murdering innocent people who themselves were no better off, trying only to make their way through Sirius and provide for those they cared for. It went against every belief - the few there were - she held herself. The mercenary felt anger rise up within her at his words. But she wouldn't get into it again; she wouldn't argue with Damien about how and why he was wrong. Why the Xenos were not righteous freedom fighters but murderous terrorists and extremists. Why their cause would never be legitimate. Why she would never accept it. They had been over it before and neither had changed the other's mind.
Olivia regretted to find that Damien seemed to actually believe what he preached. And that - as far as she was concerned - rendered him irredeemable. No matter what side of him he showed her here, he was what he was. A monster, like so many she had met before him.
And yet, she could not simply write the man off as a lost cause. The fact that he reached out to her again and again proved that there must be something within him worth the effort.
You have your own troubles, she reminded herself. Worry about yourself.
The exact advice she wanted to give the man beside her. But she knew it would go to waste, that he couldn't bring himself to walk away from the movement he helped lead and sustain.
Olivia sighed again.
"I'm no therapist, Damien. But as long as you're with them, I doubt you'll find happiness."
Resisting. Surviving. Living. All the while murdering innocent people who themselves were no better off, trying only to make their way through Sirius and provide for those they cared for. It went against every belief - the few there were - she held herself. The mercenary felt anger rise up within her at his words. But she wouldn't get into it again; she wouldn't argue with Damien about how and why he was wrong. Why the Xenos were not righteous freedom fighters but murderous terrorists and extremists. Why their cause would never be legitimate. Why she would never accept it. They had been over it before and neither had changed the other's mind.
Olivia regretted to find that Damien seemed to actually believe what he preached. And that - as far as she was concerned - rendered him irredeemable. No matter what side of him he showed her here, he was what he was. A monster, like so many she had met before him.
And yet, she could not simply write the man off as a lost cause. The fact that he reached out to her again and again proved that there must be something within him worth the effort.
You have your own troubles, she reminded herself. Worry about yourself.
The exact advice she wanted to give the man beside her. But she knew it would go to waste, that he couldn't bring himself to walk away from the movement he helped lead and sustain.
Olivia sighed again.
"I'm no therapist, Damien. But as long as you're with them, I doubt you'll find happiness."
RE: Renewed Discourse - Reeves - 03-09-2021
He turned back to her and smiled at her sincerity for saying that, but it didn't seem like the happy sort. More like a pained appreciation of the truth and the fact she had not yet started with the list of condemnations. Though as soon as he readied himself to speak, it would gradually fade. "Suppose I do walk away from it all. What then?" There was a clear reason why he was asking, considering every House in Sirius would view the Xenos with absolute disdain for the stance they had taken against them. Furthermore, it would be hard to get Damien to be anywhere remotely near appreciate of them either. He was quite the antagonist and enemies seem to be something that came easily, violence even more so. They were practically entangled with his more subtle natures as a person now.
No, there had to be a compelling reason for him to reintegrate himself. It would be easy enough to seek an amnesty from the more business minded sort, but they expected awfully specific favors. Namely hunting your old friends and divulging everything you know about their routes through the jumpholes. It was far more likely that he'd die than do this, at least at the current rate things were going. That, or an unmarked prison in a system that doesn't exist.
No, there had to be a compelling reason for him to reintegrate himself. It would be easy enough to seek an amnesty from the more business minded sort, but they expected awfully specific favors. Namely hunting your old friends and divulging everything you know about their routes through the jumpholes. It was far more likely that he'd die than do this, at least at the current rate things were going. That, or an unmarked prison in a system that doesn't exist.
RE: Renewed Discourse - Toaster - 03-09-2021
Olivia turned once more to face Damien, a glint of pity in her eyes.
"That's up to you," she replied. She had made up her mind. If Damien were to give up on his role as the Alliance's leader, her opinion of him would be vastly improved - perhaps she would even learn to consider him a good man, if he proved himself in the future. But she would not indulge him, she would not help him. He had done too much harm unto too many guiltless people for her to overlook what he was.
"You'll have to figure it out on your own."
She turned back to her drink, looking at it listlessly. Its liquids had mixed into a murky blue, the rock at the glass' bottom slowly dissolving in a cloud of bubbles.
"I can't help you."
"That's up to you," she replied. She had made up her mind. If Damien were to give up on his role as the Alliance's leader, her opinion of him would be vastly improved - perhaps she would even learn to consider him a good man, if he proved himself in the future. But she would not indulge him, she would not help him. He had done too much harm unto too many guiltless people for her to overlook what he was.
"You'll have to figure it out on your own."
She turned back to her drink, looking at it listlessly. Its liquids had mixed into a murky blue, the rock at the glass' bottom slowly dissolving in a cloud of bubbles.
"I can't help you."
RE: Renewed Discourse - Reeves - 03-10-2021
It seemed like he had expected that answer, and it was entirely possible that it was quite common for the Xenos as a whole to have an expansive history of having received the exact same response from all those around them. Though he had tried to explain, at risk of ruining the civility of this meeting, it took a great deal of effort and premeditated abuse to make the average man and his fellow men rabid. "I know - I don't know." It seemed like a play on words that only he would understand, and it wasn't the first time he'd used a contradictory phrase that required reflection to digest.
As if it pained him to say what came next, his tone grew quite hushed. "There's something about you that hurts me in ways other people can't. Something that terrifies me because of what I would do for you. The fact I'm even considering leaving everyone in the cause behind for one person.. it says enough. I don't know. I can't help but wish we started out blind, or that I had met you earlier in life." While Morreti most assuredly had a natural talent for premeditated charm, this seemed to just be an admission in the moment without thought. While further being one that was difficult to spit out.
It appeared as if he lacked the boldness as of the moment, because he would not turn to meet her gaze directly, but rather keep her in the corner of his eyes while staring at his gloved hands. Occasionally his fingers would idly stretch and contract, as if trying to distract himself from the gravity of the situation or merely relax.
As if it pained him to say what came next, his tone grew quite hushed. "There's something about you that hurts me in ways other people can't. Something that terrifies me because of what I would do for you. The fact I'm even considering leaving everyone in the cause behind for one person.. it says enough. I don't know. I can't help but wish we started out blind, or that I had met you earlier in life." While Morreti most assuredly had a natural talent for premeditated charm, this seemed to just be an admission in the moment without thought. While further being one that was difficult to spit out.
It appeared as if he lacked the boldness as of the moment, because he would not turn to meet her gaze directly, but rather keep her in the corner of his eyes while staring at his gloved hands. Occasionally his fingers would idly stretch and contract, as if trying to distract himself from the gravity of the situation or merely relax.
RE: Renewed Discourse - Toaster - 03-10-2021
This caught Olivia off-guard. She had known that Damien held her in regards of some not insignificant degree - otherwise they wouldn't be where they were - but this was beyond what she had expected. She knew better than to question the man's sincerity; not even he would tell such a lie.
Olivia chuckled softly.
"I doubt you would've gotten along any better with a younger me," she replied. Then, her tone became more serious again. "I'm sorry, Damien, but if I'm your reason to quit, you'll be disappointed." All the while, she kept her eyes focused on her drink, watching the shard of asteroid rock shrink ever more into the liquid.
Why me? She asked herself. It didn't make any sense to her. For a decade, human attachment was what the mercenary had tried to avoid the most, maintaining a level of unapproachability and aloofness that made it hard for anyone to come too close to her. Of course, there had been failures, times when she had made friends regardless of her best efforts. But they were few and far between. So how, then, had Morreti, of all people, bonded with her? After everything she had said and done?
Olivia chuckled softly.
"I doubt you would've gotten along any better with a younger me," she replied. Then, her tone became more serious again. "I'm sorry, Damien, but if I'm your reason to quit, you'll be disappointed." All the while, she kept her eyes focused on her drink, watching the shard of asteroid rock shrink ever more into the liquid.
Why me? She asked herself. It didn't make any sense to her. For a decade, human attachment was what the mercenary had tried to avoid the most, maintaining a level of unapproachability and aloofness that made it hard for anyone to come too close to her. Of course, there had been failures, times when she had made friends regardless of her best efforts. But they were few and far between. So how, then, had Morreti, of all people, bonded with her? After everything she had said and done?
RE: Renewed Discourse - Reeves - 03-10-2021
Rather than what she must have expected as his response, he seemed quite amused by the way she put it. There was a clear smirk on his face and a sense of mischief to his voice. "Maybe, but I would have just been a software engineer back then. A wealthy one by the name of Robert Hughes, oh.. and I would have had black hair instead. Come to think of it, maybe a few less crease lines on the face too." He didn't seem to dwell on what she said, almost like he didn't believe her and felt there was evidence to suggest the contrary.
Turning to face her again, it seemed like his calmness was finally getting the upper hand against the vulnerability which had the briefest of cracks to operate in. "If I'm being honest, I wouldn't be particularly eager about myself either. Too unpredictable to be trusted. Sometimes I have to wonder if I can even trust myself. But I'd like to think I'm still capable of making the right choices every so often. Especially when it came to keeping you alive." He gestured to just about where she'd been shot, recollecting the fact that he'd referred to the wound as a broken wine dispenser at some point.
"I don't regret it. And I do remember I never gave you an answer for why I did it. Do you still want to know? It didn't seem like he would mind clarifying the reasoning behind his actions at long last, all she had to do was want the answer.
Turning to face her again, it seemed like his calmness was finally getting the upper hand against the vulnerability which had the briefest of cracks to operate in. "If I'm being honest, I wouldn't be particularly eager about myself either. Too unpredictable to be trusted. Sometimes I have to wonder if I can even trust myself. But I'd like to think I'm still capable of making the right choices every so often. Especially when it came to keeping you alive." He gestured to just about where she'd been shot, recollecting the fact that he'd referred to the wound as a broken wine dispenser at some point.
"I don't regret it. And I do remember I never gave you an answer for why I did it. Do you still want to know? It didn't seem like he would mind clarifying the reasoning behind his actions at long last, all she had to do was want the answer.
RE: Renewed Discourse - Toaster - 03-10-2021
At the mention, an itch crept into Olivia's shoulder. The scar would never fully heal, instead joining the many others that littered her body. It had taken weeks for her to be able to move her arm in its full range again after the treatment had come to an end. Sleeping on that side was still uncomfortable.
Back then, she had not been certain whether she'd ever be able to repay the debt she had incurred with the Xeno commander that day. But the events that followed quickly proved her wrong - as far as she was concerned, they were even. She only hoped the man didn't think otherwise.
"Go on."
Back then, she had not been certain whether she'd ever be able to repay the debt she had incurred with the Xeno commander that day. But the events that followed quickly proved her wrong - as far as she was concerned, they were even. She only hoped the man didn't think otherwise.
"Go on."
RE: Renewed Discourse - Reeves - 03-11-2021
Like rewinding a tape, Morreti's mind wandered and wound itself back to that moment in time. The details were still vivid and clear, the blood and sounds of the subsequent gunshots abrupt yet decisive. "The thing that impresses me the most is the context. They chase you all the way down that hall. Backed you into a corner and then nearly tied you up like a long overdue loose end just outside my door. And of all the doors you could have tried to open, it was mine. I could have ignored it and stayed in bed, but I opened that door to you and now I can't close it." The exact circumstances of that day were something he couldn't help but keep dwelling on, much like Olivia herself admitted she was prone to.
The faces of those men were still clear in his mind, the way they look so surprised as he caught them off guard and killed them, the thought didn't hurt him like it would for the normal person however. No, it almost seemed like he was proud of his choice. "When the first thing I saw was you on your knees and the thugs closing in for the kill, I knew my choices were simple. And when an elaborate tableau of circumstances brought you to me, I wasn't going to squander that." Evidently he had plenty of time to meditate on the reasons why he did it and the nature of what happened that day. There was no compelling reason for his involvement otherwise, not unless he cared to explain like he was now.
"Whether you wanted it or not, you needed my help. And I didn't hesitate in protecting you. There was no political agenda and I wasn't looking for an excuse to kill for kicks. All it boiled down to was that I chose to put myself between them and you, almost feels like I was meant to do it. If nothing else I just respected that gut feeling." Was that when it started? He wondered to himself, when the tap creaked open and he finally tasted a conscience. From that point onward his inability to feel anything at all besides the satisfaction of a good fight was steadily washed away by the stream of notions and emotions he couldn't comprehend, and hadn't needed to before.
The faces of those men were still clear in his mind, the way they look so surprised as he caught them off guard and killed them, the thought didn't hurt him like it would for the normal person however. No, it almost seemed like he was proud of his choice. "When the first thing I saw was you on your knees and the thugs closing in for the kill, I knew my choices were simple. And when an elaborate tableau of circumstances brought you to me, I wasn't going to squander that." Evidently he had plenty of time to meditate on the reasons why he did it and the nature of what happened that day. There was no compelling reason for his involvement otherwise, not unless he cared to explain like he was now.
"Whether you wanted it or not, you needed my help. And I didn't hesitate in protecting you. There was no political agenda and I wasn't looking for an excuse to kill for kicks. All it boiled down to was that I chose to put myself between them and you, almost feels like I was meant to do it. If nothing else I just respected that gut feeling." Was that when it started? He wondered to himself, when the tap creaked open and he finally tasted a conscience. From that point onward his inability to feel anything at all besides the satisfaction of a good fight was steadily washed away by the stream of notions and emotions he couldn't comprehend, and hadn't needed to before.