+- Discovery Gaming Community (https://discoverygc.com/forums)
+-- Forum: Role-Playing (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Forum: Stories and Biographies (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=56)
+--- Thread: Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump (/showthread.php?tid=2087)
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 04-28-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Project Nosey Man
OUT! Out of my dumpster-home!
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Virus - 04-28-2009
Good evening, mortal. I understood that an innocent was being harassed. I've taken the liberty of ensuring your... Well, relative peace of mind in the near future.
On that note, have a good night. I'll keep the Tree-People out.
-Virus
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 05-02-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
Thanks, mister germy man! Now I'm safe from trees and the Nosey Guy!
The Keepy-people were in New York again today! And boy, were they popular. I think everyone wanted their autographs.
When I found them, however, there were about a ba-jillion other ships flying around them, and lots of lights flashing. It took me a while to figure out that they were hurt-lights, and at that point I got angry. Why would people be shooting hurt lights at the fluffy happy alien dudes?! I warned the other ships that if they didn't stop trying to hurt my friends, that I would try to hurt them! When they didn't stop, I had to resort to violence. I began to hurt... THEIR FEELINGS! But after a few minutes of failed insults and confusion, I discovered that I wasn't very good at hurting peoples' feelings.
In a few minutes, it was over. The horrible, horrible people destroyed my Keeper friends, and I got very sad.
And I'm still sad.
So I'm gonna go throw myself face down on my bed made of old plastic soda bottles and cry myself to sleep.
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 07-03-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
So I'd like to tell you all a story. A tale of reversible cups and paper helmets.
It began like any other day. The sun was bouncing, and several people were scooping up the delicious loaves of bread growing out of the ground, giving them to their neighbors. One person in particular, one blacksmith named Theodore, thought to himself, "Wow! Look at all these fingers I have! It's like... ten, man! That's two fives!" Theodore then entered his blacksmith-place, and merrily chopped off his thumbs.
Meanwhile, across the world, where it was still dark and the moon sang to little children, another man sat in a gutter. This man, by the name of Tom, was crying out in shock. This was because all of a sudden, he had gained two extra thumbs. But not on his hands. The thumbs had appeared, one on top of the other, in the center of his forehead. He was picked up the next day by government men who performed lots of experiments on him.
On the next block over from Tom's gutter, a woman opened her front door. Satisfied that the door was still operable, she closed it again and got herself a glass of lemonade. She sat in her living room, sipping on her refreshing drink, listening to old ragtime tunes. After about five minutes of relaxing, a disturbing thought came to her head. This thought caused her to jump up, run to her front door, and open it to make sure that it would still open. Good, she thought to herself, My exit is still clear. She sat down again, dozed off for maybe half an hour, and awoke to another disturbing thought. The woman sprung out of her seat, knocking over her glass of lemonade in the process, and ran towards her front door again. In the foyer, she slipped on a floor mat, fell, and broke her neck. The woman's name was Catherine.
Brakelatabasaasta looked down from his seat of newspapers stacked to the heavens, and saw that all was good. He continued his crossword puzzle, filling in every answer with "Johnny Cash." The great prophet Henry Dean had insisted.
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 07-21-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: zOMG everybody!!!!
Brakelatabasaasta appears on a screen.
People. I have a very important message to relay to you. I was told that is was confidential, but by Robert, the people need to know!
Brakelatabasaasta stops to take a sip from his cup of justabovalukawarma chocolate.
The Tree-People of Omi-Sig-Mega-Tau-Eleventy-Eight have found new allies. Dangerous allies. Like, "Oh my fish, lock your noses and turn off the shafts" dangerous.
He leans in closer to the screen.
The Stones. The Stones have arrived to make your life a living Denmark! I give you now a direct quote from my informant:
Quote:"...the stones are gathering. Stormy clouds are ducking like swarmed flies-meat.
Serious purple are dropping where the Old Vans jump."
Serious purple indeed! Seriously purple problems such as these require seriously purple solutions! Now, I have thought long and hard on the subject, and I think I have the solution: Width times height. And another! Moss. Moss will stop the Stones! They can't roll over you and crush your bones when they're covered in moss! So I have devised a plan. Behold!
![[Image: MossGun.jpg]](http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t200/Zukeenee/MossGun.jpg)
The Moss Gun! It's pretty much self-explanatory.
This is where we make our stand! Here at... space! Women, tiny babies, and wiener-dogs head for the hills. All able-bodied men, come to me. Gather up all the moss you can find and stuff it in your cheeks as if it were acorns, and come give me a good rub-down with it! Wait, what was the moss for again? I think it was just for a good rub-down...
Huh.
I totally forgot what I was talking about. Well, I'm sure it was nothing important. How did I get a camera in here...?
Anyway, I'll be waiting for that mossy-massage. You know where to find me. In the mean-time (why is time always mean? Can't it ever be nice-time?), I've got some swarmed flies-meat to take care of.
--Broadcast ends--
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 07-23-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
My broom? No. His scissors? No. Their lunch? Yes.
Kick that lamp post, knock it down. Get some peanuts, talk to me? Trapezoid-glass with not tight socks, bring it back into this box! Kinky snake is rather kinky, so let's nibble on his pinky. Don't hesitate! Refrigerate!
Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap- Stop tapping!
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 08-21-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
So where'd my ears go? Has anyone seen them? They're kinda pinkish-beige, about yea big, and they make a slight ringing noise. Let me know if you see them.
So today was nice. I spent my time on the not-sky, in the park, watching the ducks. They were very friendly. Some of them brought bags of old bread to throw at old people. There was also this guy who wore a big coat. No wait... it wasn't a coat. It was a cat. The cat didn't seem too happy about it, but the man didn't seem to notice. So I went over to him and kindly let him know that his cat-coat was looking upset. "Oh," he said, "So it is. Well, I'll be off now," and he took off into the not-ground.
I also saw an interesting tree today. It was like a fruit-tree, but the fruit was made of soap and filled with crabs. I took one of the crabfruits over to the old people, who were busy trying to protect themselves from a barrage of old, hard bread being thrown by the ducks. I forget exactly how it all happened, but soon after this the old people and the ducks were fighting, throwing bread and crabfruit at each other. At one point, one of the crabfruits collided with a piece of stale bread, and the most spectacular rainbow-explosion happened! It was like, shiny wrapping paper mixed together with tigers and saxophones! I wish I could have pretended to take a picture of it, but alas, I had left my imaginary camera sitting in my dumpster. So that's too bad.
Oh! I just remembered! I left my ears in that cake batter from last weekend. I guess I'll be off to the bakery to violently tear open all the cakes, then. Wish me luck!
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 08-26-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
Just a quick one today. I have an appointment with myself in five minutes, so I have to be fast. Breakfast fast.
Met up with my Ghostie Phantom friends again a few days ago. DarkityStarfun was there, but my eyes were not. So he was all like, "Wah! Invisible!" and I was all like "Wah! Blindness!" But then he told me that I should open my eyes. I did, and all of a sudden he uninvisibled! He must be a powerful dark wizard, or maybe a powerful dark filing cabinet.
Anyways, we hung out for a while, and I watched them make fireworks with other passersby, and Mr. Saladfork baked a big cookie, and we all sat down for a picnic. A space picnic. But the Ze'evman forgot to bring the jelly for our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Then the Ghosties left, and we said goodbye, and I went back home. The end.
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 09-21-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
So there I was, sitting on the mooring fixture above Manhattan, proclaiming myself to be King of the Moors, when suddenly, through prophetic visions in my stylish hat, I became aware of a light show happening just down the lane. I went to it and saw Navymen and Police-types and Xenophobes and Hackmen and even a puzzling Ghostie! There was also a Liberty Bigship there, but it wasn't doing anything.
They were playing like playful kittens, spraying each other with death rays and whatnot. I watched them for, like, ten whole minutes, and then I told Bert to get closer to the people. He whined about it, but he did. Then someone told me to go away or something, and suddenly this huge--
Discontinuity
Today, however, I decided to change things up a bit. There I was, sitting on the mooring fixture above Manhattan, proclaiming myself to be King of the Moors, when suddenly, this guy showed up! Well, lots of guys showed up. They were all gathering around some Dust-guy and praising him as if he were the King Trout. I'm not so sure what it was all about. But, just as suddenly as he had appeared, he disappeared, and the people went off to do their laundry or something.
But one guy, someone who likes to keep his Dice Private, came up to me and asked if he could help. I scanned him and asked if I could have the thingies called 'Nuclear mines' on his ship, 'cause they looked colorful and fun! Then he said, "Follow me," and I did, but he went through a magic-metal-shiny-claw to California. I told him that the LPI had forbidden me to leave New York, so that they could keep a closer eye on me, and he said, "Okay, wait there." So I waited. And waited. And wai-- Oh! and there was a guy who was, according to someone else, carrying Barons, but Barons of what I do not know... anyway, eventually mister Diceyman came back, and gave me a thing called a 'Nuclear mine launcher,' along with a handful of the 'Nuclear mines' themselves. He told me to put them on my ship, and so I did. I thanked him, and he left.
So now Bert the Starblazer has this big bulge on the one side of him, that apparently lets me play with these 'Nuclear mines.' I can't wait to go out and play with them and share them with my friends! I wonder what kind of pretty lights they make?
Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump - Zukeenee - 09-26-2009
Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: You!
BRAKELATABASAASTA ANNOUNCEMENT:
The Not-Queen has had her speaking privileges revoked. THAT IS ALL.