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+--- Thread: Who the Bleep are the TAZ? (/showthread.php?tid=4038)
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Malaclypse 666 - 01-24-2010
Ahem.. please ignore this redundancy caused by extreme communications lag.
Ta much,
Mal
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Malaclypse 666 - 01-24-2010
' Wrote:Well, that was quite exciting! I think something inside my head melted, twitched or jacknifed. Possibly all three.
Toodle-pip!
Congratulations.. you have just experienced your first episode of tantric brain-change! You'll be the Metaprogrammer before you know it!
Oh, and you've also earned your TAZ Robes, Pope Elliot. Report to Baffin and take a draw on your Temple Credit Union account. We have a surplus of those bloody Anki "Ugly Betties" to unload at Shasta should you be needing a hull to past your new handle to..
Affix the Sacred Chao to your signature/transponders ASAP, and welcome to the Goddess' Home for Wayward Primates.
23's,
Mal
//Let's review for the Records:
Forum name: IoTa,
Primate name: Elliot Shaw
Vessel name: [TAZ]Kadeshi.Nebula
Robe size: 40 long..
Correct?
Oh, and we'll need your Skype handle for Secure FnordNet Comms..//
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Politus - 01-25-2010
~~Transmission Received from Gilbert Chidington~~
~~~~~~~~Subject: Application to TAZ~~~~~~~~~
A scruffy middle-aged man with wispy, light-brown hair and a crooked nose coughs to clear his throat and starts to speak.
Ah, hello there. I believe that this is the proper channel. It was listed below the local synthfood PR office, and I may or may not be under the influence of alcohol right now. Anyway, I will, to the best of my ability... respond to your call for acolytes.
1) What is the "Eristic Principle"?
One would assume that the Eristic Principle is the universal law that dictates that, if a female is heir to a large sum of money and/or property, they will commit acts most heinous and profane, attracting the attention of many media outlets. Amongst these media outlets will be those with videos of men investigating the above female's own outlets. Of course, I could be wrong. It's been a while since I've done any scholarly reading.
2) What is the "Aneristic Principle"?
If I recollect the experience correctly, an Anerestic Principle is a schoolmaster or schoolmistress who will put you over their knee and beat your bottom for making ink blots on the page and not washing your hands. Or... maybe that's an anal retentive principle. I get confused sometimes.
3) What is the genealogy of the Discordian use of "Flaxscrip" as a form of legal tender?
I'm so ahead of the curve that I utilize cottonscrip instead. Ergo, flaxscrip is obsolete. To remedy this obsolescence, I'd like to recommend that the question is shoved up the posterior of the nearest ewe.
4) What is a "Trick Top Hat"? Present a treatise on which two branches of Science and/or Metaphysics it represents.
And what if I do not want to? Do you all not realize how preposterous righting a treatise on the aforementioned subject is, considering that zebra mussels are an inherently invasive species and could cause the extinction of that trick top hat? You should all thank me for bringing this knowledge to light. We may be able to save them now.
5) List five Discordian non-Prophets. (Not including myself, of course.)
-The God-Emperor of Mankind: An inherent lack of existence added to a seemingly constant battle against the forces of chaos leads to much head hurt. The fact that he once, in his lack of existence, caused the perpetual virginity of thousands of humans has to count for something.
-Chucky the Doll: A doll that causes insomnia and minor cases of deadness. BWAHAHA!
-Rasputin: Once used his beard to smuggle minors into a bar. Upon discovery, the nobles tried to poison his booze and failed. We must not forget that he was, also, ancient Russia's greatest love machine.
-[insert last two]: I can't be buggered to think of two more. I think that I've answered enough questions, and that together we can stop godless communism by ignoring the necessity of two more.
There. I think I did well-enough. And by well-enough, I mean that that they're all bollocks.
~~~~~~~~~~~Transmission Terminated~~~~~~~~~~~~
//If I did end up accepted, this would be a new character.
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Malaclypse 666 - 01-25-2010
' Wrote:~~Transmission Received from Gilbert Chidington~~
Snippage....
There. I think I did well-enough. And by well-enough, I mean that that they're all bollocks.
Mr. Chidington,
At the Church of Eris Esoteric, we take our bollocks very seriously...
Time is a terrible thing to waste, sir. Mine especially.
If you are serious about joining the TAZ, I suggest that at least you read our Holy Tome.
I would also suggest you peruse the works of Hakim Bey.
When you are "really" ready to be examined for membership, let me know on this frequency. Until then, stop flapping that walrus cookie-duster in our direction, and consult your Pineal.
Malaclypse, for the TAZ
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Knuthetal - 01-31-2010
Comm ID: Ducky Knuthetal
Address: Episkopos Prime
Subject: TAZ Robes refit
Dear Mal,
I'm rocking and ready to roll.
The Goddess took me some strange places, but that's how she rolls. Ready or not there I went, expeting to roll with the punches... but mostly sipping punch. Anyway, now it's all more or less a blur, though some bits still stick out, looking suspiciously like cabbages or some other things. The only thing that's reasonably clear is that I had been playing sink! with some splendid chaps... and we won while we were at it, too.
However, what is lost usually gets <strike>misplaced</strike> found, and what is sunk does occasionally pop back up. I did, and I sprang all the way into orbit again. I'm sporting a Camara now, and she's a beauty - especially with that yellow [TAZ]Knuthetal tag all over the side... I'll be seeing the flock in space, still have some flax to shovel.
Oh, and I'm going to need a new set of robes. Ketchup stains, there was nothing I could do.
Toodle-oo,
Ducky.
* DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
* OR MUTILATE. <strike>SERIOUS</strike>
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Malaclypse 666 - 01-31-2010
Comm ID: E-Prime
To: Ducky!!
Just back from your headline engagement at the "Quack Between Worlds" Quantum Physics Institute and Supper Club, I'll wager!
Robes are not a problem, sir. In fact, we're issuing our all-new "fireproof" model to everyone. New colors, too!
You'll find lots of new Popes and Pineals around the Temple grounds. Mingle, schmooze, and eff the ineffable.
"Old Popes never die.. they just play the Miskatonic U. circuit!"
23's,
Mal
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - lousal - 02-08-2010
-----------------------------------------------
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Malaclypse 666 - 02-08-2010
Comm ID: Malagape
To: Lou Salome
My Dear Louisa,
We hide the pink button on purpose, Lou. It's sort of a "pre-test". In fact, the questions are moot.. it's finding the button that counts.
That said, I think you may have tranced out there, and channeled the Prophet Joyce to answer for you. Your ingenious answers have rekindled my own interest in quantum topology and Incunabula mechanics. Prost!
There will be a small ordeal where you go to the Temple, kneel before Eris, and then I rap you smartly on the forehead to jar your Pineal. (I learned that one from Don Juan Matus..heh.)
Welcome to Cosmic Coincidence Control, Pope Salome.
Let's do lunch!!
23's,
Mal
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - Malaclypse 666 - 02-18-2010
Eris is still looking for a few good Pineals, denizens and primates of Sirius!
Rather than give you the Questions this time, I will provide a few of the more esoteric Answers:
Temporary Autonomous Zone
Ontological Anarchy
Principia Discordia
...and my current favorite:
Celine's Laws
And as no one seems to know who our Non-Prophets are, here's the short list:
Joshua Norton II, Emperor of the United States, and Protector of Mexico,
James Joyce, Quantum Novelist,
Malaclypse the Younger, Polyfather
Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, KFC, Polyfather
St. Gulik, Holy Cockroach,
Robert Anton Wilson, Post-quantum Novelist,
Peter Lambourn Wilson, aka Hakim Bey,
Any and all past, present, or future Illuminati Primi (Not encluding Prince Bernhard.. he's a dork.)
Ready? Begin! Nothing to lose but that prison you call a "reality".
23's,
Malaclypse
Who the Bleep are the TAZ? - LancerZero - 03-04-2010
Comm ID: Linus Koios
Location: Ames Research Station, Kepler System
Howdy there, Episkoperson! Seems Eris saw fit to send me on a li'l vacation from civilization to loosen the 'ole pineal in the wild. Boop! Didn't work too well, I feel more like a Caesar salad than ever, when I clearly prefer garden salads. No accounting for some folks' tastes!
Anyway, figure I'll try my hand at questioning those answers. Lessee how much info this dome leaked, shall we?
Temporary Autonomous Zone = What is any TAZ ship, house, tent, or other domicile carved from the biggest coffee bean on Gran Canaria? Does dirt count? Maybe I should keep dirt on the corridor floors, plant a garden.
Ontological Anarchy = What's a fancy way of saying "incomprehensibility, apply directly to your pineal"? But it's only really incomprehensible if you're silly enough to try to understand it. It's totally 100% sensibly comprehensible if you don't ever think about it. Ever.
Principia Discordia = What is the most wholly remarkable unremarked-on non-prophecy in the history of then-ever?
Celine's Laws = What is I have as much idea as I have a cat under my hat? She's obviously on my shoulder. Drawing a serious blank on this one. There's laws? Does it go something like 1. Be disorderly. 2. Rule #1 subject to change. 3. Disregard rules 1 and 2, and go bark at the nearest constable. 4. Use the jail cell bars as a xylophone. Rinse and repeat. 5. Actually, don't repeat. Just rinse. You're dirty.
Now, let's see how I did!
Principia Discordia = Dunno, think I might've been too narrow.
Ontological Anarchy = Think I was close.
Principia Discordia = Maybe?
Celine's Laws = I was WAAAY off.
I knew I shouldn't have trusted Kali to meow the questions in backwards Morse...and in Esperanto. Darn cat! Sometimes I'd swear she's got a mind of her own. But, I'll hold the tuna fish...after all, I'm not the one questioning the answers, which happen to be questions.
Also, Mal, I recall a wee convo we had not long before my shipwreck, and I wanna elaborate: 'course I don't buy it! Not wholesale. But there's a bit of truth in lots of things...and the truth in this, which I think I neglected to mention, is to never take anything too seriously. Bad for the globe and shrivels the pineal!