To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ

To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Printable Version

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To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Garrett Jax - 05-05-2014

Garrett Jax was in a grumpy mood. He solved his coffee shortage dilemma, which made him happy, but there were no Moderators around to install his newly acquired coffee machine, named Cara.

Without enough Mods, the conditions in the Temple would quickly deteriorate. Who would be there to do the janitorial work? Who would be there to do the maintenance duties? And most importantly, who would be there for the A.D.M.I.N.S to kick whenever they felt like it?

Life, without having a Moderator to kick around, was no life at all.

After discussing it with the Staff, Garrett agreed to put a call out to the members of the community to fill the position of Moderator.

Garrett grabbed his personal tablet and typed out a message for all of Sirius:

FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!

A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

If you can answer these questions in a satisfactory way, you just might have what it takes to become our next kicking target. This application process is open for two weeks. Afterwards, we will select qualified candidates, put them in a locked room (//Mod chat) and then pepper them with questions until we get tired.

//Please keep your posts in RP

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Zen_Mechanics - 05-05-2014

angry zoner appears on screen I... I'm willing to throw myself on this - as long as I get a free coke or cup final tickets.

aye, I feel ambigivious and ugh a little skeptical about the proccess but im sure in adaptability,

m' i got bout two/three hours a day to wash the windows if thats what ya'all mean

coffe.. I own a bloody bar, can be replaced or fixed in no time.

I'm da man who kick people in the air with no shoes and a pack of chewing gums but i won't mind being pushed into a turbine, I can get a good haircut.

I will be as harsh as truth, and uncompromising as justice.. I am in earnest, I will not equivocat e, I will not excuse, I will not retreat a single inch, and I will be heard.

tony from the LWB has kindly introduced me a twelve-step tutorial to construct those things' -

what conspir[A]cies

// LOL

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Tunicle - 05-05-2014

FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!
You rang? Well at least I can qualify in the singular, hopefully someone else will post to give the plural.

A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.
I would humbly request being considered for this esteemed privilege, kicking is not a problem, thumping is acceptable and mild stabbing also tolerated.

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.
I wield a mean mop, can position a screwdriver, use a monkey wrench and have never lost a key, together with experience of this position in prior dimensions, thus feeling competent.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?
Daily in space and more frequently in forumland, a quick IP check would supply credentials.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?
Not only install but can grind the beans and show you my barista certificates if needed.

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?
Rhino strengthy with added duct tape layer.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done? Do not have favorites, miserable to all in equal measures.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?
Not only can I put them together but they function as a tractor afterwards.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence? As a recluse I talk to few so unlikely to divulge anything confidential.

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Zayne Carrick - 05-05-2014

Transmission established...
Source: Omega-You-Never-Heard-About, Vidar-class cruiser [RF]Chimaera
ID: Rot Front Commander Zayne Carrick

[Image: C9CmQ1W.jpg]

The transmission from Lost Battlestar was received by living legend, a man without fears, weaknesses and morale, The Roter Frontkämpferbund commander Zayne Carrick.

Lost Battlestar? Yes? Zayne was still able to remember, how hessians performed assault on this fortress of evil. He was one of the marines, who successfully breached through Battlestar's defences and landed aboard, causing havoc and destruction. Rumours says that some of the A.D.M.I.N.s were captured and even tortured by hessians in order to know the secrets of universe. Quite unfortunately, said captives died, because A.D.M.I.N. can exist only 3 months without being fed. And Rot Front members had no idea, what they're eating.

Another rumour is linking Zayne with such legendary creatures like Doj and Karlotta. Some barmens can tell you how Carrick walked to the 9th abyss of D.P.C. and returned alive from there. After that he was trained in mysterious and forgotten arts by Doj himself... Still, those are only rumours.

And now Zayne receives that transmission, even questionnaire to it. There's not much to do within Omega-You-Never-Heard-About, and rest crew of cruiser were executed by Zayne himself because of lack of faith. So Carrick decided to fill said questionnaire.

Quote:Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff?

I am Zayne Carrick! I have more than it takes to become part of the "Staff"!

Quote:Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

I'm the only living being in Omega-You-Never-Heard-About. So I have a plenty of free time. Rumours says, that I'm also having nomad-like powers, which allows me to control key figures in hessian movement-Siegfried Draay, Gotthold Ludewig and even Kaspar Meisner, but you won't beilive in it, right?

Quote:Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

I'm maintaining Vidar-class cruiser on my own, you think I won't be able to manage some libertonian machine?

Quote:Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

I was held as prisoner in Bastille for 4 months. The tortures I've been put through can't be described by any words, I think I will manage to survive kick of weak A.D.M.I.N. Those, who was captured by hessians weren't extremely tough.

Quote:Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

My loyalty belongs to Volkrevolution only. And Volksrevolution is idea, not mortal.

Quote:Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

The ancient knowledge of putting together the parts of tractor was passed to me by old LWB mechanic. Just before I've executed him for treason.

Quote:You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

I am Zayne Carrick. I know such secrets and mysteries, that you can't even imagine!!! For sure, you sm[A]ll and unimport[A]nt conspir[A]cies will be s[A]fe.

Transmission terminated.

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Sabru - 05-05-2014

*Transmission Incoming*
ID: Skarsi Wyrdmake
Recipient:A.D.M.I.N HQ
Encryption: Flax
Message Begins.......

*Skarsi scratches his beard thoughtfully, while considering the transmission from the A.D.M.I.N.S. He grabs his own tablet and pens a reply.*

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.
Sounds like what i already do for the Goddess Eris

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?
Popely duties have been quite light, as of late, so much time can be spent for the ministrations to keep things working for the A.D.M.I.N.S

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?
Indeed

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?
That pain would pale in comparison to one of Eris' kickings.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?
My loyalty lies only with the blessed Eris, and not with any mortal.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?
At last practice, i am proficient in all 55,555 ways of assembling a functioning tractor.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?
Conspir[A]cies? One of the principles of a good Erisian pope is to not to tell the untruth, the partial untruth and nothing but nonsense. So i have no idea what i couldnt tell you. does that answer your question?

****Transmission Ends****

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - SMI-Great.Fox - 05-05-2014

PRIORITY: Low
ENCRYPTION: Low
IDENTIFICATION: Direktor Daniel Artura
SOURCE: Nibelung Polizei Plaza, Planet New Berlin
COPY TO: Personal Datapad
SUBJECT: Moderation Application Destination

Guten Tag and Good Morning.

With the recent progress within the Federal Polizei of Rheinland, I feel perhaps is a chance to expand upon the prospects now being offered abound.

So without delay, I shall place within mein application.

Quote:Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins. - As second to mein surperior, Inspekteur Markus Schmarn, I feel I have considerable talents in handling of such trivial matters.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much? - Considering I deal more in paperwork than on the job duties, I can handle it. And very plenty of time outside of babysitting mein young ones.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine? - Try installing a micro-Rheinbeer Brewery, then we'll talk.

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you? - I deal with mein wife Veris, after being married to her for almost two years, I believe I am as close to immortal as any man with the ammount of munitions being tested upon me on a near daily basis.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done? - What is this Favoritism you speak of? I work for the justice of Rheinland's people with the oath I swore upon mein first day.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor? - Give me a blindfold, a mug of Rheinbeer, and all the parts to a JOTUN, and I'll make it jump up and dance in the next Oktoberfest.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence? - I deal with the Bundestag and the BDM/MND.. You will see conspiracies in a new light after working with them for so long.

With all due respects,

Direktor Daniel Artura
Bundespolizei Rheinland

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Core_One - 05-05-2014

"Un esprit, un objectif, une raison."
'La'Row'

Who's disturbing me?

Quote:FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!

Believe me, it's your foolish secretary, not me.

Quote:A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.

Soooo... This foolish secretary can help you even more...

Quote:Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

Yes she have... Maybe more...

Quote:Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

]Me? No... But I think foolish secretary has a lot of time. How much? I would have to ask her, but few hours for sure,

Quote:Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

She's your secretary... Soo she can.

Quote:Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

]I don't need skin, you know... Master race. But yeah she would make it.

Quote:Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

'Favoritism' What's that?

Quote:Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

Your so called 'foolish secretary' is so called 'angry farmer' from Stuttgart...

Quote:You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

Believe me, she is okay with it. Alien conspiracy is worse.

Now let me finish my work...
La'Row

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - t0l - 05-05-2014

Tal Ravis sat in the confines of his Gull transport, leaning back in his chair and enjoying a cup of coffee.Suddenly, his quaint afternoon tea was disturbed by the alarm set off from the reception of a transmission in his inbox. He let out a loud sigh, straightened himself out, and opened the message. The content surprised him, however, and he quickly went to recording his reply.

(05-05-2014, 06:46 PM)Garrett Jax Wrote: FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!

Well, that's a nice introduction.

A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.

Okay then.

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

Sure, I guess.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

I just sit in this Gull all day. I'd surely like something to do.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

I was a part of the LPI for a few months, so yeah, probably.

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

I've been sent blasting off into space by a renegade Liberty Carrier and hit by a Valor forward cannon (don't ask). How much worse could getting kicked be?

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Everyone I know is either half a galaxy away or dead, so yeah, sure.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

We had an LWB prisoner onboard the Sugarland once, and I had to guard his cell. He was always rambling on about making this tractor and how to do so, so yeah, sure.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

If you can answer these questions in a satisfactory way, you just might have what it takes to become our next kicking target. This application process is open for two weeks. Afterwards, we will select qualified candidates, put them in a locked room and then pepper them with questions until we get tired.

Sounds great.

Tal hit the send button, hoping that things would go better than the time he sent some money to a Nigerian prince in return for some inheritance.

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Tabris - 05-05-2014

Calmly sitting in his small office-chair browsing the all-knowing entity that all mortals eventually bow to was a man, a red can of caffeine in one hand and the Device of Choosing in his other hand known to mere mortals as a 'Mouse'. As the screen's light hit his face he could feel his strength returning after the trials he had endured in the cruel harsh realities of the outside world punished his body and mind, it's holy glow rejuvenating him.

As he used the Device of Choosing to browse through various parts of the Internet's holy realm his blue eyes gazed upon a message from the Divines known as the 'A.D.M.I.N. HQ'. As he entered into the realm where the message could be read by mortal eyes without turning into a pillar of dust his curiosity was piqued.

FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!

A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

If you can answer these questions in a satisfactory way, you just might have what it takes to become our next kicking target. This application process is open for two weeks. Afterwards, we will select qualified candidates, put them in a locked room (//Mod chat) and then pepper them with questions until we get tired.

//Please keep your posts in RP

Upon completion of the message the man's eyebows were raised in surprise. The chance for a mere mortal to rise up and become a chosen champion of the A.D.M.I.N.'s? Such an honor was rare in this time and age! But what would happen to those who failed and chose their answers...Poorly?

This thought was frightening to most, would they throw those who failed into the Pit of Sanctions? Bring forth the mighty Ban-Hammer to smite them? Sick the Ghost of Del upon them and be forced to wear dresses of the Gauls? Steeling his heart he gritted his teeth together, if he lived in fear all the time then what would he be? A man or a rat?! Thus he began to write his answers to the call. Confident in himself and his answers.

FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!

A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

I believe that I can rise to the challenge presented by the Admins to be a mortal champion known as a 'Moderator'.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?
While this one does have a job in the cruel and cold light of the mortal realm known as 'Reality' he does have the time and will to put forth a few hours a week (4-6 hours a week).

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

A challenge worthy of all mortals who strive to rise up to be a champion! I know I can complete such a task and even go further and brew the Ultimate Coffee!

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

It takes much to get me well and truly angry, so I can take criticism and persecution and some may say I feed upon it.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

I know it is difficult to put aside feelings of favoritism, my job in the Reality Realm requires it as I am in the Health Profession.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

Sometimes, sometimes this mortal form forgets and must consult a LWB member, perhaps the Holy Jansen may aid here and provide a vision of what must be done?

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

This one does not know of any 'conspir[A]cies' you speak of, perhaps your mortal servants who whisper about such things in your ears are lying and must be struck down, however should this be a true question and not lies whispered to you by mortal mouths then Yes I can.

If you can answer these questions in a satisfactory way, you just might have what it takes to become our next kicking target. This application process is open for two weeks. Afterwards, we will select qualified candidates, put them in a locked room (//Mod chat) and then pepper them with questions until we get tired.

//Please keep your posts in RP

With his mortal labours finished he leans back in his chair, his fingers tented infront of him in thought...Now he must wait and pray he is not smote by the Holy Ban-Hammer...

RE: To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ - Lythrilux - 05-05-2014

Mr. Jax

Moderator? Sounds interesting, I'll take a shot at the position. Here's my application.

Quote:Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

I'm a Junker. Maintenence is my middle name.

Quote:Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Alongside preying on poor miners, extorting unfortunates, giving slaves a new hell and polluting the houses with drugs, I'd say I have a lot of free time. You can always contact me, and I can always be there for you when you need me.

Quote:Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Can a Junker mine scrap? I can install a Sunbucks Coffee Machine. I can add all kinds of modifications to it if you wish.

Quote:Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

I don't take my mask off often. Do I have skin at all? Regardless, pain isn't something I feel often. Just don't wipe my credits, that might make me flinch.

Quote:Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Justice is like wealth. I'll do anything to achieve it, no matter who gets in the way.

Quote:Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

Yet again, can a Junker mine scrap? I wasn't raised on Invergordon sucking eggs, I was raised making high quality Tractors.

Quote:You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

I know a lot of conspiracies. Not even Ivankov or Horner know of the conspiracies in my mind.

I await your response.

-G.M
The Junker Marauders