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Isabel Ramos's feedback - Printable Version

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Isabel Ramos's feedback - Isabel Ramos - 09-03-2014

[Image: 7g10oPy.png]

So, this is my little feedback page for my little project where I'd love all the constructive feedback that I can possible get my hands on. The more the merrier! Hopefully all of myrole play will lead to somewhere and I aim to role play everything I do. This includes directions, new ships and weapons as well as assignments. I'd love to get both feedback for my role play for both ingame and forum wise. This is all in chronological order of topics (with the stories first).



Stories


"Un tiempo para amar, A time to love" is my story line for Isabel. It's a work in progress but once I get it done it will portray her life story before she started flying in the time we are in now. I've still got alot more to add to this and when I'm done, hopefully it should be good.
"Base de Datos de Inteligencia, The Intelligence Database" is Isabels personnel database. She'll upload any information that see gathers into this Data Base. It will mainly hold Gallic Royal Navy and System Intel, including the Tohoku System.
La Conferencia de Consejos no escuchado, The Unheard Councils Conference" Isabel has been summoned to the Council regarding the matter of a ship named "RNS-Courbet". Competently forgetting what she was summoned, she walks in blindly to the meeting.



Communications


So, this was a Transmission made to me by one of my old friends, InRP. I had been flying with them ingame and they decided to contact me about a few jobs they want me to do. So far, Mario has given Isabel a major task. He wants her to scout Gallia and gather Intel on Gallic Forces / Personnel / Structures / Hierarchy. Isabel accepted the job and realised that she couldn't do this unless she gained a better ship that was much faster so she asked Mario to get her one. Shortly after, an unexpected transmission came back from Mario. Isabel was asked to join the Crimson Cross and without hesitation, she accepted the offer.
On one of Isabels daily patrols, she came across an Outcast "Sarissa" Battleship. She belied that it had a malfunctioning transponder so she proceeded to question it only to find out it was a stolen vessel. Surprisingly, it was the rogues who stole it. The captain refused to hand it back so hence this communications post was made. She gets in contact with the 3 major Outcast Factions and confronts them with the evidence. The Outcast factions get back and place a KoS order onto it.
In game, Isabel was heading down to Bretonia when she came across a lone Judge. After asking about who they were, she asked them for a favour. She knew that an Intelligence faction would be able to help her with the Intel she was asked to gather so she confronted the lone Judge, Judge Alpha, in game. After verbal communication was given back and forth, the Judge asked that in return for the Gallic Intel, Isabel needed to gain Intel on the Tohoku system in Kusari. Knowing nothing about the system, she blindly accepted the job as she couldn't gather all the Gallic Intel on her own. Now that she has got all of her Intel on the Tohoku system, she eagerly awaits a reply from Judge Alpha with her Intel. Never getting that reply, she has to make the harsh decision and close the contract.
After blindly accepting the job from the Judge, she's asked for direction on how to get to that system. She has also asked what the system is like because she's sceptical on why the Judge would want intelligence from the Tohoku system. Upon hearing that the system is dangerous, she tries to bluff her way into getting directions from Cipriano. After failing to bluff her way she went out into space and started to look for directions. She came across a GC base and found them there.
This was a Communication Channel that was opened up to the major Outcast factions regarding Junker transports utilizing a jump capable Zoner Carrier to transport commodities in and out of Omicron Alpha. As Mario's and Isabels trust gains, Mario decides to give Isabel the opportunity to reply to the Communication Channel. She replies showing her concern and displacement towards the Junker vessels and Zoner Carrier. The follow up transmission made by Izek-Fernando Armando can be found here
Isabel has just recently informed the Crimson Cross about her new find. She's found a target transport that'll be perfect for her and a group of outcasts to hit and capture. She has asked the High Command to rally in the conference room once more.
Time is getting shorter. Isabel has found 3 Junkers of Gallic origin to aid her in her task. Hopefully the 3 Junkers will agree and aid Isabel on her conquest.


The time is almost here. The preparations for attacking the Courbet are almost done. She needs to go ahead from Mario to start shipping the infected food.



My Signatures



This is a list of my signatures made by a few people on the forum. I love them so i thought that I'd put them down here.

[Image: VmWRn6O.png]
This signature was made by Anomander

[Image: YNHomLA.png]
This signature was made by Protégé

If you would like to do any role play with me, please let me know because I will most likely be up for it!


RE: Isabel Ramos's feedback - Isabel Ramos - 09-03-2014

This is the next stage in Isabels story.



Stories


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Communications


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My Signatures



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[img] TEXT [/img]
This signature was made by TEXT



RE: Isabel Ramos's feedback - Valarin - 09-03-2014

Buonasera, signora Isabel!

Most feedback threads gather dust for a few weeks or months before people start to take notice, so I hope you don't mind some early encouragement! I've been flicking through the odd comm. channel and in-character post and I've seen your name pop up a few times, but seeing this thread made me look closer - and I thought I'd stop by to give you two solid thumbs-up for the effort so far.

It looks like you're still in the early days of developing Isabel, but already there's signs of a well-written personality and character. Your attention to detail and even minor things like the effort spent formatting lead to a very good first impression. I look forward to seeing Un tiempo para amar continue and being able to follow Isabel's story as she finds her place in the universe.

I'd love to say that I want to roleplay with you - but unfortunately my own hispanic lady sits on the other side of the fence, as it were, and the two characters would no doubt be far more likely to exchange plasma than pleasantries! Perhaps one day, however.

In any case, keep it up!


RE: Isabel Ramos's feedback - Isabel Ramos - 09-03-2014

Hey Valafar! really don't mind your feedback. Thank you for the warming feedback! I will hopefully, depending on whether or not my internet behaves, work on my story a bit more tonight. I'm going to go over my story as well and try and improve the bits i have because i think there are a few grammatical errors and i can improve/lengthen and make a few more things flow a bits better. As i said, there is more to come! I hope to get some decent role play out of this!

Oh, and maybe we'll meet on the battlefield then! Smile


RE: Isabel Ramos's feedback - Isabel Ramos - 09-14-2014

Added two new stories and edited text for the descriptions for almost everything. Feedback is wanted, especially on the forum work.


RE: Isabel Ramos's feedback - Isabel Ramos - 10-02-2014

Added another story, layout has changed slightly. All my posts and stories will be looked though again soon. They'll be edited to make sure everything is fine.

I haven't been in game much recently but I am still looking for feedback on both ingame and forum work!


RE: Isabel Ramos's feedback - Stefz - 10-02-2014

Looks nice, keep it up.