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Scribing - Printable Version

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Scribing - Vaelin - 12-12-2014

//WIP

[Image: QANOcwA.png]


[Personal Entry: One]

‘It’s been some time since I have started one of these things and its honestly a habit I'd of rather left behind – though it seems that I lack those around me to help me shift through the thoughts in my mind for there are times when I would lose track. I am not someone with the best memory. I have recently come across some personal struggles that have shaped my mind for the worst. I find that my daughter is hunted, related to the nomads – The mother apparently wanting her dead and at the mention of her it just brings a feeling of confusion. I was never good at maintaining what I wanted, it seemed what others needed was more important as I felt selfish, flawed thinking but now I wish I had been selfish to know what’s going on with those that I could have called my family. The woman I knew back then wouldn’t have sought the death of one of her own blood, but she is no longer the woman I once knew, or at least the last time I met with her she was not. I wish I could speak with her again, to figure out what is exactly going on but instead I am left without a rudder in a storm and can only seek to do the best that I can – I can’t take an inactive stance in this, not when it’s my own flesh and blood. The only plans I have thus far are rather moronic, I need information on what is going on with my daughter and sadly I know of just one person that might have the information but I am pretty sure she hates me more then I might even be able to perceive or at least she will. I have already spoken and hired some ‘thugs’ to help me acquire the person in question. However – I have done back ground checks on the people and have found them to be lacking in moral regards, though uncoincidentally they are perfect for what is required - and to what will come after.’



RE: Scribing - Vaelin - 12-25-2014


[Personal Entry: Two]

“Things have changed within myself after my meeting with those on the Bell – something is out of character, wrong - it’s not that I have noticed its more that I can feel it, subconscious intuition and it’s something that is causing internal conflict.” He sighed out of frustration and then went back to writing. “It’s not something easily explained, it’s like a feeling of disinclination but something more. I treated someone unjustly, I contributed to their down trodden state and now looking back on it... I can only notice how ever wrong and unlike me that was – to actually have malice, they have obviously had a hard life and where I might normally look to help, I sought to just contribute as if I had a reason to hate them.” Valein would look at the paper he was writing on and would only shake his head in sadness and a growing frustration. He stood up and gathered his coat and went to door.

He returned some time later breathing heavily after expanding some physical energy. He sat back down and shook his head using a nearby towel to clean off some sweat and he turned the conditioning on, he sat being just in a shirt and shorts having taken off his other attire and having left it behind. “Normally I am more dead set in my ways, once I make a decision I go through – not loyal to ideas, I am not unconditionally loyal and yet.” He would shake his head. “There is one person I would hold faith with and my faith is not my loyalty. I am not acting like myself, I am not being myself and that’s the most concerning part – I look back on things I have wrote in the past and I can see now that my perceptions have changed utterly – I can no longer fully relate to myself at that time and I know that in the past I use to understand completely why I did something – and if I didn’t, I had faith in my intuition and the reasons would come to me later. No reason comes to mind as to why I have done what I did and its something I will need to seek redemption.”




RE: Scribing - Vaelin - 01-03-2015


[Personal Entry: Three]

Vaelin sat at the console with a soft frown tugging at his lips, his right hand had its thumb against his temple, his index across his forehead while the remaining fingers were curled in toward his palm. He was leaning over the terminal staring at particularly nothing. He rested back into the chair letting out a drawn out sigh of discontent, his eyes shifting over to the personification of Jim standing nearby in a militaristic pose, of his hands folded behind his back. Vaelin moved his free hand over to the console and opened up the logs to bring up his personal entries, he took a moment glancing over the text though he didn’t distinctly read anything, and he brought up the option to create another entry. His hand lightly tapped over the keys as he filled in the entry.

“Confused, disordered thoughts, time is mostly dragging out I think. I’m starting to get restless and my negative emotions are starting to become more precedent the longer I sit here and maul over my thoughts and my actions. I don’t know why but there’s always been a hollow feeling inside my soul... its become more evident over the past few weeks or days - I’ve had less desire to talk to people, those that I do - I can barely stand talking to them.”

He closed his hand into a fist, his eyes closing and his head softly shaking trying to repress the bundle of feeling. His hand hovered over the onscreen keyboard once again though his hand failed to press any further buttons. For the moment words were beyond him, which did little to help his mood. Standing up from terminal he gathered his coat and slides his arms through before moving to take a stroll through the Anubis, leaving the entry unfinished.