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+--- Thread: Diary of Jir So-Kinh (/showthread.php?tid=134502)
Diary of Jir So-Kinh - Jir So-Kinh - 01-02-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 2/1/823...
...Entry #1...
...date: 2/1/823...
...Entry #1...
Pointless, pointless, POINTLESS!
I need it. I REQUIRE IT. No no, calm down, little one. That's right: take some breath. Inhale... exhale... inhale...
Last vial, last vial of this god-damn medication, damn Orange Dream. It strive it, I puke with it - but I need it. Why oh why I need it, anyway? This - or death. Lovely death. But no: I value my mere life, even if it doesn't mean much. Nobody likes me, nobody loves me.
Nobody will. I scare them. But then, they are bad for each other anyway. Pirates, police... even the mercenaries! Screw them all.
Last vial.
Yes, I need more of it. I will stash it somewhere, or ask any Junker, Outcast or just a SMALL EFFING SMUGGLER to get it. Calm down. No need to scruff the fluff.
... no need.
And I had it, I feel much better than before. I can forget: the LPI, the Rogue I've picked up with, these entire series of mess in New York, my flight through Baffin and coping with ignorant half-arsed denizens of various places. But then, I need them. At least part of them.
Me and myself, with a good book and being under influence of the medication. No alternative? Not yet. It doesn't hurt anymore. It doesn't. And I feel good, perfectly.
I feel good.
...end of the entry...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...
RE: Diary of Jir Ko-Sihn - Jir So-Kinh - 01-02-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 2/1/823...
...Entry #2, Morning...
...date: 2/1/823...
...Entry #2, Morning...
I took my new Saishi for repairs to Freeport 6 on the way to New Tokyo, as I quite failed with some jobs recently. I had a nice a cozy room next to my hangar bay, so I went there as soon as I fixed some things here and there. But, of all places in Sirius, I didn't expect 'this man' to arrive.
The doors had opened, showing a tall man in his 40s. After a fast glance - and the fact he didn't have any trouble to open code-locked doors - I knew it was my boss. "Well well," he spoke, looking at me. "I bid you a good day, my little friend."
"Ah, it's you..." I replied, with a cold tone. "What brings you here?"
"Oh, just a mere thing... I failed to find out the cute number with seven zeroes on my account today." This was the time I realized I forgot about the deadline payment. "And I fatigued myself to find you out and I was accidentally right on Freeport."
"Yeah, right," I snapped right away. Accidentally, my arse! "You see, boss, there's one small problem regarding payment..."
"Oh? A problem? You know I don't like this word, do I?" I hated how he was still smiling with this creepy face of his. I simply hated his smile, it was fake. Or utterly scary. Or both.
"I have to pay LPI ten million credits and I'm saving the money or else I will end up in Texas, in a cozy cell. This is... why I can't pay you right--"
I didn't really know when he actually led blow, but I found myself down on the floor as soon as I was trying to explain entire situation. I felt a bitter smell of blood, coming from my nose. Shortly after, he pushed his boot against my throat. I started to suffocate, not being able to breath.
"You did what?! You will be no further use for me, if you cause problem in Liberty! Do you nderstand!? UNDERSTAND!? You forget who's boss here and who's a slave! A thing!" I felt my eyes going back, myself almost blacking out - desperate to inhale air, but unable to do so. "If not me, you'd end up on a vivisection table... And what if I did not really care about you ending up in prison or a brothel?! To think about it, perhaps you would bring more money for me in the latter."
The man removed his boot from my throat and I finally inhaled air doing a deep breath, coughing a bit. It took me a moment to recover. I almost passed out in there, right in front of him. I tried stood up in a clumsy way, but fell down on my arse again. This was pretty miserable, almost degrading to fall like that. Soon, I wiped my mouth from the blood, still looking at the man.
"There..." the man threw a plastic card on me, obviously a credit chip. "This should cover your problem with LPI. And no, that's not a gift. You are still use to me, but I cannot invest into such a dumbass again and again, do you understand?"
I looked at the boss, clenching my teeth so hard I almost bit myself in the tounge. "Yes."
"I cannot hear you."
"Yes, master..." I growled with my teeth clenched even more, alongside with my fists.
"Now, I will ignore that tone for now. Be grateful I can extend your payment. Oh yes, as I said - money weren't a gift," he smiled in a way I would love to rip it off from his face. "Your friend will visit you tonight to have fun with you. Be a good boy and perhaps he won't break you like a last time." I tried to keep a straight face, but he must had seen the fear in my eyes. He smiled even wider, almost driving me mad.
"You little--" I exclaimed under my nose.
"Pardon, have you said anything?" He was about to leave the room, but looked behind his back right as the door opened. "I didn't hear it."
"No... master."
"Good boy. Oh yes," boss looked like he realized something just know, but this emotion of this was so fake I had an urge to puke. "There's something for you." He threw two small vial with orange gas in it - ready to inhale. "I thought you'd need it..." I immediatly jumped to these vials like an addict (what wasn't so far from truth). It felt even more degrading, being dependant on a drug and surfacing it next to the abuser. But, I had no mean of control during lack of the Cardamine I strived at the moment.
I felt like a slave of his indeed, as he stated before. But, it wasn't the first time he did that.
"Don't forget I own you. And I mean it, thing," the man added up, leaving the room. And myself - with the orange vials. I immediatly took one and inhaled the glorious extract and laid down onto the floor, not caring about anything - even the open door. It felt good.
It felt good, again.
...end of the entry...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...
RE: Diary of Jir So-Kinh - Jir So-Kinh - 01-02-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 2/1/823...
...Entry #3, Evening/Night...
...date: 2/1/823...
...Entry #3, Evening/Night...
Today I lacked my portion of Cardamine, as it was stripped from me in Kusari. But when I came across the Magellan, something have happened. I felt sadness and then - I passed out.
Then voice, was calling me. It was a male voice.
I felt nothing, like I was inside the void, without light and shadows. It felt like emptiness... Then, I saw a light, and rest was like a dream.
I saw him, the man in his suit. He gave stripped away my mask, and replaced it with oxygen mask... Then...
I felt fine.
But I saw his face. And his suit. And his eyes. Eyes. Eyes glowing with light, cannot say if purple, red or pink. But, does that matter?
He was first to see my true face, all without mask. He saw me. He foiled my cover, and saw true myself. And did not laugh, not run, not degrade me. He just saw me and helped. Someone cared about me.
But his eyes.
And then, he left. But I saw my memories...
Needles... Experiments... Orange vials and...
...
Orange vials. He gave me Cardamine. Oh, he did. Without disgust, without any negative feeling. He calmed me down, my feelings, fear and... and... and my deepest dark thoughts. And then he ordered me... told me... asked me... but from afar(?) to go to Malta. Planet Malta. Omicrons.
"He."
What was his name...?
I am sure it was----
...end of the entry...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...
RE: Diary of Jir So-Kinh - Jir So-Kinh - 01-04-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 4/1/823...
...Entry #4, Afternoon...
...date: 4/1/823...
...Entry #4, Afternoon...
Choice.
A simple word, made of one syllabe and six letters, which I have heard many times - yet were never given to feel true meaning of it. Minding my self-existence, being a thing for the others. Used, abused and then got rid away as soon as I became boring or not useful anymore. Delivered with all but anything spiritual satisfaction connected to it.
But me, given a choice? 'He' appeared out of nowhere. 'He' saved me from my grim fate. It was 'Him' who rejected the machinations of fate, with myself being destined to die out there, nameless, wretched, insignificant.
But then, I was given a choice.
No.
I was given the choice.
Given the choice, whether to rule over my own existence or see it fall, like a failing empire. To challenge the fates for another throw - a better throw - against one's destiny...
I am now master and commander of my petty existence.
...end of the entry...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...
RE: Diary of Jir So-Kinh - Jir So-Kinh - 01-05-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 5/1/823...
...software service logs...
...date: 5/1/823...
...software service logs...
...Datapad turned on...
...Battery: 75%...
...Ageira Technologies XGFA-71 datapad...
...software version: 88.4...
...Good day Jir...
<Music player turned on.>
<Search engine turned on.>
<Searching: rfp>
[Too many queries, please precise.]
<Searching: rheinland federal police>
[Over 2 million items found.]
<File opened: Rheinland Federal Police> [Closed after reading 21%.]
<File opened: Rheinwehr> [Read entirely.]
<File opened: 80 Years War> [Read entirely.]
<File opened: Helium-3> [Closed after reading 1%.]
<Searching: rheinland experiments>
[1 query.]
[24 items removed due to violation of law approved by Bundestag.]
<Music player message: starting next track.>
<File opened: Liberty Government Accuses Rheinland of tests over the Alien technology> [Closed after reading few lines.]
...Datapad set to idle mode...
...Datapad turned on...
<Searching: daniel artura>
[612 items found.]
<Searching: daniel artura polizei>
[17 items found.]
<File opened: Artura, Daniel; Polizeidirektor> [Read entirely.]
<File opened: Polizedirektoren und Bundestag> [Closed after opening.]
<File opened: Republican Shipping> [Closed after scrolling.]
<File opened: Landwirtrechtbewegung und Stuttgart> [Read entirely.]
<Music player message: starting next track.>
<Searching: antidepressants>
[172 items found.]
<Ordered: 50 pills of Cryerpharm Mindsofter>
<Order paid.>
<Send to: Dock 12A, Freeport 10, Tau-37.>
<Searching: bretonia book shop>
[475 items found.]
<Ordered: 1x Bretonia For Dummies>
<Ordered: 1x Tau Wars vol.II - Siege of Leeds>
<Order paid.>
<Send to: Dock 12A, Freeport 10, Tau-37.>
<Music player turned off.>
...Datapad set to idle mode...
...Datapad turned on...
<File re-opened: Artura, Daniel; Polizeidirektor> [File saved to local device.]
...end of the software service log...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...
RE: Diary of Jir So-Kinh - Jir So-Kinh - 01-12-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 12/1/823...
...Entry #5, Morning...
...date: 12/1/823...
...Entry #5, Morning...
It took me some time to realize that I have changed, being no longer a plaything. I've become something more, something more pelicular. I've become someone. Someone.
My place of seclusion close to the Liberty Space in Coronado had been violated by some other pilots. Jared knows it. And yes, these were ex-Core offshots, Auxesia. Oh, in these busy days I've already made two enemies within their ranks. Stone and Faulke. Huh, looks like I'm good in making friends. Seeing how Jared had to withdraw yesterday after prolonged fight between aces, I had to withdraw as well, less battered than Jared.
It was my first time I've been to Drake anyway. Seeing no other opportunity, I took the gate. I felt I had to. But then, expecting some fire or anyone else that would attack me. It did not happen, at all. Why? These strange ships, they ignored me. They were frowning upon, but ignored me. I could feel that, their anxious yet reserved attitude to me. They were red on my radars, yet... nothing have happened.
Except for few ships here and there, Drake was empty. Or it was supposed to look like that. Hm. Yes, that strange feeling I had, mixed up awe with uneasy feeling of fear. Yet... The system was magnificent, except for it being quite average for a system within Barrier Rim. I can't even recall if it was within The Barrier, or it is already outside it. It does not matter. I finally took that Alien Gate, my past sanctuary.
I have a feeling that I need to return to the gate soon. To stop and think, in complete silence. To meditate and calm down.
Update: I need to check who are these Slaver Union guys. I could swear I had seen their IFF markings on my hud once or twice. Long enough to notice the name.
...end of the entry...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...
RE: Diary of Jir So-Kinh - Jir So-Kinh - 01-21-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 21/1/823...
...Entry #6, Evening...
...date: 21/1/823...
...Entry #6, Evening...
Sounds like I was right and I was not on drugs while that RFP officer contacted me. Then, I am not the only one in here. But then, he has family and I shoudn't risk any threat to him or her - else my arse would be bountied so hard by the one who got harassed as hell. Well, I don't want that. He pointed me a guy called "Brettonias", yet before doing that he mentioned two projects - Libertonian one and Cryer one.
I think I shouldn't bother contacting Cryer anymore, given that I went on relatively good terms with Outcasts. And Oracles.
Oh yes, the Oracles. My dearest friend Jared offered me place in there. To be honest, I owed him that... Not that, out of any other ideas, I simply agreed to tug along with him. It's always safer than roaming without any connections and ending as a trophy or returning back to the experiments.
Not to mention I value my life enough, unlike some time ago, to throw it away and give myself away to people like Auxesia, Core or even more wicked groups like LSF. Oh yes, that guy... my former "boss". I need to find him sooner or later and repay all the harm done to me. I still remember it. All of it, with the second guy that used to abuse me.
I'm not going to be merciful to them. Never.
Well, I should push message to Brettonias, or whoever he is, nonetheless. And wait a bit.
...end of the entry...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...
RE: Diary of Jir So-Kinh - Jir So-Kinh - 01-21-2016
...datapad opened...
...date: 22/1/823...
...Entry #7, Night...
...date: 22/1/823...
...Entry #7, Night...
I have been blessed by the Slomon K'hara themselves, and gifted with Liquid Cardamine. I do not know what to write in here. And I don't understand anything. Not at all. But I could fell its emotions, the warmth coming from it. And I saw it with my very own eyes.
It was... magnificent. Simply magnificent encounter.
...end of the entry...
...datapad turned to sleep mode...