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+--- Thread: Conception (/showthread.php?tid=150153)
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 07-20-2017
INTER-BEING
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 07-20-2017
If you are a poet, you will see clearly that there is a cloud floating in this sheet of paper. Without a cloud, there will be no rain; without rain, the trees cannot grow, and without trees we cannot make paper. The cloud is essential for the paper to exist. If the cloud is not here, the sheet of paper cannot be here either.
If we look into this sheet of paper even more deeply, we can see the sunshine in it. If the sunshine is not there, the tree cannot grow. And so, we know that the sunshine is also in this sheet of paper. The paper and the sunshine inter-are.
And if we continue to look, we can see the logger who cut the tree and brought it to the mill to be transformed into paper. And we see the wheat. We know that the logger cannot exist without his daily bread, and therefore the wheat that became his bread is also in this sheet of paper. And the logger's father and mother are in it too.
You cannot point out one thing that is not here - time, space, the earth, the rain, the minerals in the soil, the sunshine, the cloud, the river, the heat. Everything co-exists with this sheet of paper. As thin as this sheet of paper is, it contains everything in the universe in it.
If we look into this sheet of paper even more deeply, we can see the sunshine in it. If the sunshine is not there, the tree cannot grow. And so, we know that the sunshine is also in this sheet of paper. The paper and the sunshine inter-are.
And if we continue to look, we can see the logger who cut the tree and brought it to the mill to be transformed into paper. And we see the wheat. We know that the logger cannot exist without his daily bread, and therefore the wheat that became his bread is also in this sheet of paper. And the logger's father and mother are in it too.
You cannot point out one thing that is not here - time, space, the earth, the rain, the minerals in the soil, the sunshine, the cloud, the river, the heat. Everything co-exists with this sheet of paper. As thin as this sheet of paper is, it contains everything in the universe in it.
~Thich Nhat Hanh - The Heart of Understanding
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 07-23-2017
Captain’s log - September 3rd, Anno Sirius 45
With the survey of the oceanic planet, cartography of system Omega-159 is nearing completion. Again, no signs of intelligent design, life, or communications could be identified. Drone 1 has returned with samples of primitive aquatic life forms, which Dr Peterson says yield less potential for food production than biodome astroculture. Similarly to the two other planets, a single moon orbits this one. However, in this case it causes tides which make the sustainability of planetary installations doubtful. Like the smaller desert world we surveyed earlier, we see this planet as unattractive for settlement or exploitation, given the distance from Liberty.
The last unexplored region of the system consists of the cloud formation in the shadow of the ringed gas giant. Dr Peterson is still unsure of its nature, but believes that it may have been formed by solar winds dragging some of the planet’s thermosphere components to higher than escape velocity. She also sees the possibility that the nebula may be an indicator of an upsetting of this solar systems orbits after the planet bodies and their atmospheres were formed. Possibly by the passing or collision of a large asteroid. However, no sufficiently large crater has been found on any of the planets. Either way, the phenomenon isn’t fully explained yet.
The last unexplored region of the system consists of the cloud formation in the shadow of the ringed gas giant. Dr Peterson is still unsure of its nature, but believes that it may have been formed by solar winds dragging some of the planet’s thermosphere components to higher than escape velocity. She also sees the possibility that the nebula may be an indicator of an upsetting of this solar systems orbits after the planet bodies and their atmospheres were formed. Possibly by the passing or collision of a large asteroid. However, no sufficiently large crater has been found on any of the planets. Either way, the phenomenon isn’t fully explained yet.
Captain’s log - September 5th, Anno Sirius 45
Apart from the gasses and dust present in the nebula, scans have revealed the presence of high energy particles and electric discharges linked to ion storms, as well as the presence of asteroids. Despite this constituting a major navigational hazard, I've decided to take Trailblazer 17 into the nebula before returning to Liberty, as our sensors are unable to penetrate it fully from the outside. Drone 1 will first be shot towards the Liberty system carrying the logs, data, and bio-samples we retrieved. In the event of loss of our ship, the drone will carry everything we found here, in a somewhat disappointing mission. It looks like we won’t be using the other two crew members here, so they'll remain available for further cryotrip missions if we return. If we don't return, please fulfill my request to name this system after my ancestral home.
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 08-03-2017
“Asshole.”
“Please rephrase your command.”, demanded Sidd.
I rubbed my eyes and straightened my back. Studying pages and pages of transcripts, gawking at weird undecipherable schematics, and sitting on my ass for hours didn’t put me in the best of moods. Also, I hated Sidd's slimy voice.
“I wasn’t talking to you. I don’t talk to ****ing computers.”
After a moment of silence, Sidd declared: “Your statement appears to be incorrect. Please reconsider the thought process that led you to this conclusion.”
And this is exactly why, I thought to myself.
“Then who were you talking to?” Chris looked up from his reading.
“Nobody… just thinking aloud.”
“Ok…” He looked back at his pad disappointed.
“What were you thinking about?”
Finally.
“Please rephrase your command.”, demanded Sidd.
I rubbed my eyes and straightened my back. Studying pages and pages of transcripts, gawking at weird undecipherable schematics, and sitting on my ass for hours didn’t put me in the best of moods. Also, I hated Sidd's slimy voice.
“I wasn’t talking to you. I don’t talk to ****ing computers.”
After a moment of silence, Sidd declared: “Your statement appears to be incorrect. Please reconsider the thought process that led you to this conclusion.”
And this is exactly why, I thought to myself.
“Then who were you talking to?” Chris looked up from his reading.
“Nobody… just thinking aloud.”
“Ok…” He looked back at his pad disappointed.
“What were you thinking about?”
Finally.
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 08-03-2017
I leaned back in my chair. “Nothing in particular. I just talk to myself in my head sometimes. Or to people I used to know. Don’t you ever do that?”
Chris thought for a while. “Not often. I do my best to focus and keep a clear head when on mission. If someone dies I want to know I did my best in the time that I could.” After another pause, he added “But I do talk to people in my dreams when I sleep. There’s no harm there.”
I tried hard to keep my facial expression from slipping. That’s the saddest **** I ever heard. I continued on a cheerful tone regardless.
“I talk to my cat, mostly. Back when he was still alive, and afterwards too. Siamese are the dogs among the cats, you know. So attached. So loyal. Schroedi is still with me, always.”
“How cheesy.” Andrea spoke without looking up from her work.
“I know, right?” I melodramatically wiped the corner of my eye.
Chris went back to reading his pad, eyebrows narrowed. After a moment, he said “I’m sorry about your cat. What happened?”
“The Coalition happened. Evacuation of Enceladus. No cryostasis, no artificial gravity, no pets. I hate communists. But I suppose theoretically there’s a small chance he could have survived, if the Russians love cats too.” I grinned at Andrea, who ignored me.
“I served on one of the CSVs who tugged escape rafts into slingshot orbit to Neptune. Chances are we already met there. In a way.”
“You did seem familiar.” I winked at him.
Chris quickly looked back at his pad and pretended to read.
Chris thought for a while. “Not often. I do my best to focus and keep a clear head when on mission. If someone dies I want to know I did my best in the time that I could.” After another pause, he added “But I do talk to people in my dreams when I sleep. There’s no harm there.”
I tried hard to keep my facial expression from slipping. That’s the saddest **** I ever heard. I continued on a cheerful tone regardless.
“I talk to my cat, mostly. Back when he was still alive, and afterwards too. Siamese are the dogs among the cats, you know. So attached. So loyal. Schroedi is still with me, always.”
“How cheesy.” Andrea spoke without looking up from her work.
“I know, right?” I melodramatically wiped the corner of my eye.
Chris went back to reading his pad, eyebrows narrowed. After a moment, he said “I’m sorry about your cat. What happened?”
“The Coalition happened. Evacuation of Enceladus. No cryostasis, no artificial gravity, no pets. I hate communists. But I suppose theoretically there’s a small chance he could have survived, if the Russians love cats too.” I grinned at Andrea, who ignored me.
“I served on one of the CSVs who tugged escape rafts into slingshot orbit to Neptune. Chances are we already met there. In a way.”
“You did seem familiar.” I winked at him.
Chris quickly looked back at his pad and pretended to read.
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 08-05-2017
“I guess the hand of fate must have brought you two back together then, lightyears away, to talk about quantum states of long dead cats.", Andrea interjected sounding half annoyed half amused.
"While you should be preparing for our mission.”
I smirked and flipped through the pages on my pad.
“Possible Indicators of differing Perception of Intercausality and Acausality found in Valhalla 1 Artifacts”, Clutterbuck et al.
Urgh.
I impatiently rocked and dangled my foot as I read about the wild guesses some guy called Professor Doctor Preston Clutterbuck made about a bunch of lines etched into some alien contraption of inexplicable utility. Apparently Clutterbuck came to the conclusion that these aliens had a fascination with paradoxes, nonsense, and illogicalities. Probably his conclusions had nothing to do with his own lack of understanding.
"You know… fate really was a thing there. There’s no arguing that. It’s fact.” Now Andrea slowly turned to look at me, a skeptical, disgusted, cringing, but with a curious look on her face.
“It really is. Back in Sol, we were destined to be where we are now. We just didn’t know it jet. Like when amino-acids started self-organizing a billion years ago, their fate was already to become the foundation of what we are now. If it hadn't, we wouldn’t be here to think about it. So what else are those poor things gonna do but stick together and make crazy shapes? I guess lots of other things could have happened between now and then, but exactly what happened was the “fate” back then. It had to be, or no one capable of thought today would give a **** about it. Doesn’t mean we have a fate in the future, but we certainly did have a fate in the past.”
Andrea’s head dropped to her desk.
“Zelman, just finish your homework, ok?”
“Just saying…”
She remained silent for a while.
“We had many possible fates. Not just one. But we only got to see the one we ended up in.”
“Not a contradiction to what I said. The point is there’s no point in arguing how unlikely what came to be was. Every possibility was one in a billion, and therefore equally unlikely. The one that's most likely for us, is always the one where we got to exist the way we are now. You’ll find lots of schmucks telling you how incredible coincidences a.k.a god saved their asses. Meanwhile, the ones that didn’t have such luck aren’t gonna tell you about it. Because they’re ****ing dead. So statistically, crazy coincidences leading to us being the way we are, were to be expected. You'll never meet someone who'll tell you their prayer to save their life wasn't answered. " I bobbled my head around. "Oh Jesus Oh Lawd! We were together lightyears away and now we’re all here! It’s a miracle!”
I always tended to go too far when annoyed.
Nobody’s perfect.
"While you should be preparing for our mission.”
I smirked and flipped through the pages on my pad.
“Possible Indicators of differing Perception of Intercausality and Acausality found in Valhalla 1 Artifacts”, Clutterbuck et al.
Urgh.
I impatiently rocked and dangled my foot as I read about the wild guesses some guy called Professor Doctor Preston Clutterbuck made about a bunch of lines etched into some alien contraption of inexplicable utility. Apparently Clutterbuck came to the conclusion that these aliens had a fascination with paradoxes, nonsense, and illogicalities. Probably his conclusions had nothing to do with his own lack of understanding.
"You know… fate really was a thing there. There’s no arguing that. It’s fact.” Now Andrea slowly turned to look at me, a skeptical, disgusted, cringing, but with a curious look on her face.
“It really is. Back in Sol, we were destined to be where we are now. We just didn’t know it jet. Like when amino-acids started self-organizing a billion years ago, their fate was already to become the foundation of what we are now. If it hadn't, we wouldn’t be here to think about it. So what else are those poor things gonna do but stick together and make crazy shapes? I guess lots of other things could have happened between now and then, but exactly what happened was the “fate” back then. It had to be, or no one capable of thought today would give a **** about it. Doesn’t mean we have a fate in the future, but we certainly did have a fate in the past.”
Andrea’s head dropped to her desk.
“Zelman, just finish your homework, ok?”
“Just saying…”
She remained silent for a while.
“We had many possible fates. Not just one. But we only got to see the one we ended up in.”
“Not a contradiction to what I said. The point is there’s no point in arguing how unlikely what came to be was. Every possibility was one in a billion, and therefore equally unlikely. The one that's most likely for us, is always the one where we got to exist the way we are now. You’ll find lots of schmucks telling you how incredible coincidences a.k.a god saved their asses. Meanwhile, the ones that didn’t have such luck aren’t gonna tell you about it. Because they’re ****ing dead. So statistically, crazy coincidences leading to us being the way we are, were to be expected. You'll never meet someone who'll tell you their prayer to save their life wasn't answered. " I bobbled my head around. "Oh Jesus Oh Lawd! We were together lightyears away and now we’re all here! It’s a miracle!”
I always tended to go too far when annoyed.
Nobody’s perfect.
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 08-09-2017
Nobody said anything. I resumed reading to avoid looking at Andrea’s face.
Clutterbuck et al concluded their paper by speculating that what the aliens had displayed in sketches and models in one specific room of the Valhalla complex was a sort of library of mathematical, logical, and physical paradoxes. The artifacts found there were not only useless, but remarkably and intentionally useless.
“Either the artifacts represent a collection of problems the aliens were not able to solve specifically due to these paradoxes and the limitations of logic, or their utility doesn’t manifest itself to us in our physical universe, but possibly in dimensions we can’t perceive.“
They moved in mysterious ways.
“So that’s what theologists think about all day?” Chris sounded anxious to break the silence.
“That, and about how to manipulate people using things nobody understands. About how these things must be the work of the god of knowledge gaps, who did everything you can't explain and who coincidentally wants you to do everything I tell you if you don't want eternal damnation.”
“And who wants people to take revenge on a tooth-for-tooth eye-for-eye basis, to chop off hands and heads, and who teaches that unbelievers are dirtier than dogs.”
“To be fair, there were good reasons for most of that. Most of the pagans living near the authors when it was written really did have very bad hygiene. Think of disease transmission of human to human compared to dog to human. It's science. Also, chopping off heads is a bloody but relatively painless way to kill someone. At the time it wasn’t uncommon for people to tie someone to a tree using their own entrails and then lighting them on fire as punishment for knocking out a tooth or for stealing. There were no trials nor prisons back then. What looks backwards now was a step forward at the time, or people wouldn't have adopted it. More than anything, people seek to improve themselves.”
Chris’ expression grew somber. “It’s not only a matter of time. It’s also a matter of war. War makes people worse than animals. There’s no need to teach them to become monsters during war. They'll do that on their own. You have to teach them how not to. I’ve seen what soldiers do to soldiers who they know killed their friends. On both sides.”
What Chris said made me think of the captain's strange attire.
“I’ve never seen our soldiers dress like Captain O'Hara. Is it the new world style?” I looked at Andrea. She shrugged and looked at Chris.
“It's not new, it's old. He’s expressing his heritage and ancient US military tradition. I’ve seen others wear props and ornaments like that, but they’re not the kind of soldiers who interact with civilians like you a lot. And if they do, mostly enemy civilians. They're front line, or behind-enemy-lines soldiers who carry out the most dangerous and ruthless missions.”
"Suicide missions", I thought to myself.
Clutterbuck et al concluded their paper by speculating that what the aliens had displayed in sketches and models in one specific room of the Valhalla complex was a sort of library of mathematical, logical, and physical paradoxes. The artifacts found there were not only useless, but remarkably and intentionally useless.
“Either the artifacts represent a collection of problems the aliens were not able to solve specifically due to these paradoxes and the limitations of logic, or their utility doesn’t manifest itself to us in our physical universe, but possibly in dimensions we can’t perceive.“
They moved in mysterious ways.
“So that’s what theologists think about all day?” Chris sounded anxious to break the silence.
“That, and about how to manipulate people using things nobody understands. About how these things must be the work of the god of knowledge gaps, who did everything you can't explain and who coincidentally wants you to do everything I tell you if you don't want eternal damnation.”
“And who wants people to take revenge on a tooth-for-tooth eye-for-eye basis, to chop off hands and heads, and who teaches that unbelievers are dirtier than dogs.”
“To be fair, there were good reasons for most of that. Most of the pagans living near the authors when it was written really did have very bad hygiene. Think of disease transmission of human to human compared to dog to human. It's science. Also, chopping off heads is a bloody but relatively painless way to kill someone. At the time it wasn’t uncommon for people to tie someone to a tree using their own entrails and then lighting them on fire as punishment for knocking out a tooth or for stealing. There were no trials nor prisons back then. What looks backwards now was a step forward at the time, or people wouldn't have adopted it. More than anything, people seek to improve themselves.”
Chris’ expression grew somber. “It’s not only a matter of time. It’s also a matter of war. War makes people worse than animals. There’s no need to teach them to become monsters during war. They'll do that on their own. You have to teach them how not to. I’ve seen what soldiers do to soldiers who they know killed their friends. On both sides.”
What Chris said made me think of the captain's strange attire.
“I’ve never seen our soldiers dress like Captain O'Hara. Is it the new world style?” I looked at Andrea. She shrugged and looked at Chris.
“It's not new, it's old. He’s expressing his heritage and ancient US military tradition. I’ve seen others wear props and ornaments like that, but they’re not the kind of soldiers who interact with civilians like you a lot. And if they do, mostly enemy civilians. They're front line, or behind-enemy-lines soldiers who carry out the most dangerous and ruthless missions.”
"Suicide missions", I thought to myself.
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 08-09-2017
“But I didn’t recognize the symbol on his breast pocket. The one that looks like an eye.” He looked back at Andrea.
“That’s the sign of the Order of Cincinnatus. A secret branch of the military which took control of everything linked to the alien excavations.”
“Sidd mentioned Cincinnatus Law. Is that a new name for martial law when there is no war?”
“Would you like me to elaborate on the subject?” Sidd asked smuggly.
“No.”
“I guess it’s somewhat similar. The difference is that it does what it does in secret, upholding the illusion of democracy for civilians and most government employees, while giving control to the Order over any decision it chooses to intervene in. And the power to tie up all the loose ends it wants, in case you missed that during the briefing.”
“No worries, I didn't miss it." My face burned and must have looked a fiery red. "The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh. Always finding a way to impose martial law with our great Alliance of freedom loving nations! If not on ourselves, then on the nations we plunder!”
“We had to protect our way of life from the Coalition. They were far worse in every way.”
“And before the Coalition was formed, we had to protect the resources of earth and the entire solar system, so 5% of us could own 90% of everything.”
“This isn’t about wealth, it’s about survival. I don’t know exactly why, but the captain has access to more information than he’s allowed to share with us. Fact of the matter is, we don’t have…”
A loud thud shook the trailblazer. The lights turned red and a siren wailed.
“That’s the sign of the Order of Cincinnatus. A secret branch of the military which took control of everything linked to the alien excavations.”
“Sidd mentioned Cincinnatus Law. Is that a new name for martial law when there is no war?”
“Would you like me to elaborate on the subject?” Sidd asked smuggly.
“No.”
“I guess it’s somewhat similar. The difference is that it does what it does in secret, upholding the illusion of democracy for civilians and most government employees, while giving control to the Order over any decision it chooses to intervene in. And the power to tie up all the loose ends it wants, in case you missed that during the briefing.”
“No worries, I didn't miss it." My face burned and must have looked a fiery red. "The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh. Always finding a way to impose martial law with our great Alliance of freedom loving nations! If not on ourselves, then on the nations we plunder!”
“We had to protect our way of life from the Coalition. They were far worse in every way.”
“And before the Coalition was formed, we had to protect the resources of earth and the entire solar system, so 5% of us could own 90% of everything.”
“This isn’t about wealth, it’s about survival. I don’t know exactly why, but the captain has access to more information than he’s allowed to share with us. Fact of the matter is, we don’t have…”
A loud thud shook the trailblazer. The lights turned red and a siren wailed.
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 08-10-2017
“Sealing bulkheads. Firing stabilizing thrusters.”
O’hara’s voice came from the intercom on the wall: “Another stray asteroid, but we’re alright. This one wasn’t as bad.”
I held on to my console as the trailblazer shifted back to its original position.
“Please remain seated while we navigate.”
“I’m taking us closer to the object so it shields us. Sidd finished guiding Drone 2 for a complete scan and it looks like it's inactive. Arming nuclear Torpedo 1 just in case.”
Arming a nuke while we’re getting pounded by asteroids. Brilliant. I peeked out through the thick glass of the small starboard window. Puffs of purple mist and asteroids drifted past us as the Trailblazer crept forward.
“Sidd, can you already send us the drone's scan so we can have a look at it from all directions?” I was tired of ruminating what other people thought about the "Valhalla"-dubbed alien ruins, and eager to draw my own conclusions on something new.
“Are you talking to me now?”
I exhaled sharply. “Yes.”
“I am able to download them to your console while guiding Drone 2, talking to the captain, and performing various other tasks at the same time. I am able to multi-task on one computational platform, as well as split myself into several independent entities on separate platforms.”
“Then just do it already, you imbecile!” I snapped.
O’hara’s voice came from the intercom on the wall: “Another stray asteroid, but we’re alright. This one wasn’t as bad.”
I held on to my console as the trailblazer shifted back to its original position.
“Please remain seated while we navigate.”
“I’m taking us closer to the object so it shields us. Sidd finished guiding Drone 2 for a complete scan and it looks like it's inactive. Arming nuclear Torpedo 1 just in case.”
Arming a nuke while we’re getting pounded by asteroids. Brilliant. I peeked out through the thick glass of the small starboard window. Puffs of purple mist and asteroids drifted past us as the Trailblazer crept forward.
“Sidd, can you already send us the drone's scan so we can have a look at it from all directions?” I was tired of ruminating what other people thought about the "Valhalla"-dubbed alien ruins, and eager to draw my own conclusions on something new.
“Are you talking to me now?”
I exhaled sharply. “Yes.”
“I am able to download them to your console while guiding Drone 2, talking to the captain, and performing various other tasks at the same time. I am able to multi-task on one computational platform, as well as split myself into several independent entities on separate platforms.”
“Then just do it already, you imbecile!” I snapped.
RE: Conception - Karlotta - 08-14-2017
“I am sorry, but I do not have clearance from Captain O’Hara to do so yet.”
“Clearance for the scan and for all data retrieved in future is hereby granted to crewmen Gorman and Zelman.”
“A new file has been uploaded to your databases.”
I angrily punched the popup that lit up on the lower right corner of my pad.
“I don’t want to become too personal… but after hearing how you talk to other people, I really wonder what the conversations inside your head sound like.” Andrea gave a friendly smile. At the time I thought it was a stab at me. But she was really only trying to make a joke to help me calm down. I stared straight at her without speaking a word.
It was you, wasn’t it? You were the one who selected me to be on this godforsaken mission. You’re the reason I’m gonna die here.
When she saw me give her the evil eye she blinked, looked down at her desk, and started arranging that pad and pen of hers in right angles on the table again, tilting her head.
“And I wonder what voice in your head constantly praises you for arranging your school books so nicely. Although you probably won't share.”
Andrea’s smile dropped instantly. She looked at me as if I had just pulled out a gun and shot her in the stomach. At first it looked like tears were about to swell up, but then it was hatred.
“Uhm… Kara? Do you sometimes wonder why you say the things you say?” Chris desperately tried to dissolve the situation. I was stunned from his question because it made me realize something.
No, I don’t. I’m a damned mystery to me.
I put my finger on the pad, and started rotating the 3D model aimlessly.
I’m an idiot, I remember myself thinking.
“Clearance for the scan and for all data retrieved in future is hereby granted to crewmen Gorman and Zelman.”
“A new file has been uploaded to your databases.”
I angrily punched the popup that lit up on the lower right corner of my pad.
“I don’t want to become too personal… but after hearing how you talk to other people, I really wonder what the conversations inside your head sound like.” Andrea gave a friendly smile. At the time I thought it was a stab at me. But she was really only trying to make a joke to help me calm down. I stared straight at her without speaking a word.
It was you, wasn’t it? You were the one who selected me to be on this godforsaken mission. You’re the reason I’m gonna die here.
When she saw me give her the evil eye she blinked, looked down at her desk, and started arranging that pad and pen of hers in right angles on the table again, tilting her head.
“And I wonder what voice in your head constantly praises you for arranging your school books so nicely. Although you probably won't share.”
Andrea’s smile dropped instantly. She looked at me as if I had just pulled out a gun and shot her in the stomach. At first it looked like tears were about to swell up, but then it was hatred.
“Uhm… Kara? Do you sometimes wonder why you say the things you say?” Chris desperately tried to dissolve the situation. I was stunned from his question because it made me realize something.
No, I don’t. I’m a damned mystery to me.
I put my finger on the pad, and started rotating the 3D model aimlessly.
I’m an idiot, I remember myself thinking.