To: Adrian Malprave || From: Teresa Brooks

To: Adrian Malprave || From: Teresa Brooks - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: To: Adrian Malprave || From: Teresa Brooks (/showthread.php?tid=153855)

To: Adrian Malprave || From: Teresa Brooks - Teresa Brooks - 09-24-2017

Incoming Transmission
Sender: Teresa Brooks
Encryption: Nya!~

'Tis I, the Dark Lord, Teresa Brooks.

Well, where to start with this? We were unable to finish our scintillating conversation when a localized outbreak of Lawl's struck, so would you like to continue it in this venue? I am very much open to replies.

Cheers,

Teresa Brooks
CEO-co-Regent
Those Horrible People

To: Teresa Brooks, Triple Hazzard Pay - Adrian Malprave - 09-24-2017

...hack.initiated...connecting.to.Spyglass.Network...decryption.in.progress...
...Interruptor.Adrian.Malprave.recognized...encoding.transmission...
...uploading.data...

Oh my dear sweetheart,

The second I saw your message I dived into the world of my unfulfilled desires and unrealized fantasies. You see, I do have a thing for transhumanism the Kusarian style. I would gladly tug at those lovely cat ears and make you meow! Naughty naughty!

But Adrian is a good school boy. He asked his Professors if he is allowed to have some fun with you. It seems that Professor Scorpius already had a triple fun with the Triple^[guncam], if you catch my drift. After our fine organization have so utterly surrendered^[guncam] to you, I fear there is little room for ear tugging as much as I would like it.

But you know the saying. The way to the heart of a Lane Hacker is through the Cardamine!

Without any regrets whatsoever,
Adrian Malprave

...encryption.in.progress...disconnecting.from.network...hack.terminated...

RE: To: Adrian Malprave || From: Teresa Brooks - Teresa Brooks - 09-26-2017

*canned ringtone noises*
Sender: A Pair of Menacing Red Eyes
Encryption: I'm right behind you, you know.

As soon as I finished laughing my sweet behind off, I realized that someone had inconsiderately locked me in the office and cut off the power, so this is from my cheap-ass handheld device. As soon as I'm done here, it's cutting torch time. Anyway...

You know, spend an hour on any Kusari animation fanfiction board with zero content moderation and you will be quite unimpressed at the sight of comments such as the ones you’ve made. So forgive me if that line of thought failed to overwhelm me in any way.

*she yawns*

Okay, lovely, our missing Tyler Durden imitator has given me even more things to take him to task for when we catch him. After the rest of THP took a spin to the Omicrons and has yet to come out, our records have alternated between ceasing to exist and being outright forgotten, and we’ve got enough on our plate already, so this whole thing was wholly new to me, but apparently THP ships that I didn't even know existed met a ship that apparently wordlessly fired on them as evidenced by the shocked reactions of the passers-by.

Can we agree to just say all of the above didn’t happen? I don’t want to deal with the fallout from the ill-informed decisions made by a symptom of my adoptive father’s dissociative identity disorder any more than you want to browse those aforementioned fanfiction boards, and you presumably have enough problems with actual oppressors, perceived or real, to deal with them without needlessly alienating people who institutionally would happily trade in various goods with you.

Anyway, you fellows apparently like Cardamine. Okay, how much of it do you want, where do you want it, and more importantly, where do you get your clothes? Seriously, I'd like to meet your tailor.

I sent a message rocket out to roughly the same place as the last one, but it’s just floating there in the middle of a patch of ice asteroids, which is why I’m using the more data-intensive method of dropping you a line.

Take it away, stationary,

Teresa Brooks
Lioness in a kitten costume
Royal Military of Rheinland

Side note: Having a cat ear headband someone sent as a gag gift being fused to one’s skull via an equipment malfunction, the side effects of which include slight heatstroke, some minor charring, temporary blindness, and a sudden inexplicable urge to declare to all and sundry that one is experiencing mortal agony, is a highly enjoyable experience for people of all ages, and it comes highly recommended from me.

RE: To: Adrian Malprave || From: Teresa Brooks - The Lane Hackers - 09-27-2017

...hack.initiated...decryption.in.progress...
...CAPTRAHA.recognized...transmission.encrypted...
...uploading.data...

...encryption.in.progress...hack.terminated...