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+--- Thread: The Memoirs of Kell Tainer (/showthread.php?tid=159819)
The Memoirs of Kell Tainer - Vape - 04-03-2018
Idealism, we all go through that phase, we think we can conquer the galaxy and save everyone just through doing what's right. Everything is black and white, good and evil in that mentality. Then reality hits, and you're left speechless, a broken husk wondering where you went wrong. Every idealist faces this, and it either breaks or reforges you. We all eventually face this test, for me, that was the fall of Toledo.
I am Kell Tainer, formerly of the Liberty Security force stationed at Eureka Research Station, whom I fled to join the Order after witnessing atrocities committed in the name of scientific advancement. I have training in a number of different fields, I've always been more of a jack of all trades, some view it as a weakness, I do not. From there, I rose to become the second in command of the Order's Wedjat, its Director. And then in the wake of the destruction of Minor, I vanished. That is a story I have yet to tell, however the principal home of the Wedjat, the Theta-7 installation, was obliterated, taking with it thousands under my command. Only a small portion escaped, and they vanished with me. My old protege, Michal Golanski rebuilt the Wedjat from the remains of the old, and it has taken its current form from that. I once thought that through diplomacy and using force as a last resort, we could achieve peace with the K'hara. How wrong I was, and those under my command, along with tens of thousands more on Toledo paid with their lives for my folly. For my failure to see this coming. I knew something big was coming, but I pushed it aside, thank Terra that High Command knew otherwise. In the immediate aftermath, I, along with the Theta 7 survivors regrouped at Avalon in California and began the task of rebuilding, unaware of the greater survival of the Order. Its still ongoing, under the direction of my estranged wife Rebecca. I should have been there, but I faded into the shadows, eviscerated by the trauma of losing so many during the Fall. I disappeared for two full years, before old colleagues found me knocked out in an alleyway on New Tokyo, passed out from too much sake. The Order had survived after all.
Courtesy of my comrades, I spent the next three months recovering on Gran Canaria in the Omega 49 system, rebuilding myself. Then Rebecca visited and it fell into place. Apparently my old comrades had been trying to track me down at the request of my wife for the last two years. Avalon needed its commander, and she needed her husband. She brought files provided by our colleagues in the Order that indicated the depth of knowledge the High Command had regarding the lead up to the Fall and preparations for it...along with after action reports. It shocked me to my core, while my own attempts at diplomacy had failed spectacularly, the HC had set in motion the HORUS project, that yielded the now Battleship Thebes (interestingly, I had something similar planned for the Wedjat in the form of the Hestia's Fire and Bahamut). Thanks to their foresight, the Order survived more or less intact, along with thousands more Wedjat personnel that were not stationed on Theta 7. Oddly enough, we had been the first outpost in Minor hit by the Hunters and K'hara. While we lost everything, we still managed to tie up several battlegroups that would otherwise have attacked Toledo itself. But still, the post-battle images of Toledo shook me to my core, hundreds of wrecks of Order and Guild ships, and then the planet itself. Glassed completely, nothing more than a barren waste now. And then I read the casualty reports. The losses we faced at Theta 7 were insignificant by comparison. For two years I had deprived a wife of her husband, and an organization of its leader. While my grief was real, I realize now that I selfishly fled responsibility when I was needed most. And at that moment, my idealism hardened. Peace is still to be strived for, but as the saying goes, Si Vis Pacem, para bellum. Force must remain a last resort, when dealing with humans. But there are some groups that can be shown no mercy. For only in either eradication or subjugation can they cease to be a threat. These groups are a threat to humanity as a whole, every man woman and child and represent either our mortal enemies, or our worst excesses. We will give them a chance to repent, but only after they have ceased to be a threat. Humanity stands on a knife-edge overlooking the abyss. And we are the first and last line of defence.
Since then, I have rejoined the greater Order, I'm not in the position I once was, the Wedjat and the Fleet have changed much since the Fall. Golanski did a remarkable job turning things around, though I still have much to be briefed on. And surprisingly, we finally agree on methodology. He was never quite fully on board with my methods during my time as Director. Now, well, our first meeting will be interesting to say the least.
RE: The Memoirs of Kell Tainer - Vape - 04-10-2018
Major Rebecca Elizabeth Tainer. My wife, my bright star, a woman I do not deserve. Our union represents what marriage should be, or so I should hope. It will be fifteen years this year, we have been together ever since university and my service in the LSF. Prior to Eureka. Regardless, in the last four years, our marriage was under immense strain, because of my actions. During the assault on the Theta 7 facility, she was nearly captured and killed by marines of the Core, that damned group responsible for the whole mess. That was the only time I have ever lost control. I still bear the memories what I did. A full squad had her cornered, I managed to rapidly neutralize several of them, and the others attempted surrender as Wilde had begun boarding the station, hoping to escape with us and avoid a fate worse than death. They didn't get further than raising their hands. A plea for mercy was met with hard rounds going through their helmets.
They had attacked the woman I love and would be given no quarter. After that the two of us, along with a few hundred survivors managed to escape aboard a docked liner under Wedjat control. It took us a few weeks, but we managed to make our way to Liberty, to the Avalon Complex on California Minor. There we melted into the shadows and Rebecca, my trusted lieutenant and I began a rebuilding effort. Some six months later, the nightmares began, flashbacks of the battle, the memories of my own actions in saving my wife. The deaths of comrades. By the end of 820, I had become a mess, not able to look my suboordinates in the eye, let alone my wife. So I ran. I took a fighter outfitted with a cloaking device, ostensibly on a courier mission and disappeared. That is not a time I will discuss at the moment, but suffice it to say, I drowned my agony in alcohol. Yet in the four years I was gone, she never gave up on me. What man deserves this form of love? Such devotion? Its directly as the One intended.
Regardless, she found me again, on New Tokyo as I already mentioned in my preceding entry. And she spent the next year making sure I was given the care I needed, and we repaired our estranged marriage. I should never have left in the first place, I was a fool, she understood that I needed my space to sort things out, but the hurt on her face when I saw her for the first time in four years. It wounded me to my core, even more than when I'd nearly lost her. Let it be said that never will I forsake my vows again. I know now, what I wish I had known then, that I have been given the care of a gem among women.
RE: The Memoirs of Kell Tainer - Vape - 04-12-2018
Psych Evaluation: Major Tainer, Kell, CNC 5th Battlegroup
Authorization: Dr. Rachel Whitcomb, Chief Medical Officer, 5th Battlegroup
The Major is a man of many facets, shaped by the horrors and miracles he has witnessed over the years of his service. At the core, his actions have demonstrated a pacifist streak uncommon among his colleagues and a deep belief in the inherent good present in others. He's become noteworthy among his comrades for having a tendency to see the best in others, despite evidence to the contrary (Authors note: It has burned him from time to time) and recognizing talent where it exists. Case in point, he has served as a mentor to not one, but three separate members of the High Command, Eriksson Ravenov, Jeremy Hunter and Michal Golanski. Contrasting most of his colleagues, he prefers to use diplomacy over force and even then, only once all other options have been exhausted, being a firm believer in the concept of “Just War”.
This even extended to threats such as the Nomads and the Core, whom he has faced a considerable amount of derision from his colleagues over. However repeatedly, Kell has demonstrated a willingness to use the maximum force required to bring about victory once diplomacy fails, this has served to silence most of the criticism, however he has always refused to use more extreme tactics such as that known as the “Base Delta Zero” and torture to obtain information and/or victory.
However, this was the pre-Fall Kell. In the immediate aftermath of the second battle of Minor, the Major became cold and machine like, issuing orders necessary for the survival of the remainder of his command. The battle had changed him, though he brushed off all attempts at psychiatric help, diving into his duties and becoming increasingly erratic in his behavior. Where once Kell had been highly moralistic possessing a strong sense of ethics, he began to break his own codes repeatedly, to the point of ordering a nuclear strike after an op to eliminate any potential witnesses.
What is not widely known is that there were non-combatants in the area. Some short months later, the Major finally snapped, memories of the Fall of Toledo, including the near loss of his wife manifested themselves as delayed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The Major disappeared for three years, before being found unconscious on New Tokyo.
In the depths of his despair, the pain over past decisions, the lives lost, and the deaths of innocents indirectly by his own orders had broken a man once regarded as unflappable. He turned to alcohol to drown his sorrows and entered a death spiral. The man that was found in 823-824 was a broken shell. He spent the next year recovering and acclimatizing to his former role, undergoing rehabilitation, mending his relationship with his wife, and most importantly, reflecting upon past mistakes.
What the Major will do now is uncertain, as a colleague who has known him since his days in the LSF, there is a certain hardness to his demeanor in these later days, intermixed with the pain of loss over minor, largely healed, but still present nonetheless. However, it should be noted that the old fire is still present. As he has himself expressed, he still firmly believes in Just war and violence as a last resort, however, he acknowledges that certain measures are called for when dealing with some groups, notably the Nomads and the Core. However mercy is still of paramount importance to him.
Seeing his stability return over the course of a year, I am in concurrence with the other medical staff who oversaw his recovery, his is fit for active duty. The errant behavior present immediately post-Minor is gone. However I do worry that when he encounters the Core next he may go too far.
RE: The Memoirs of Kell Tainer - Vape - 04-16-2018
Neith, in early Egyptian myths she referred to as the first creator. Later she took on aspects as the protectress of the royal house of Egypt, and as a goddess of war. In my early days during the formation of the Preservers, I commanded a Hathor class gunboat known as the Gugnir originally, which was temporarily renamed to the Neith. Once I took over command of the Wedjat as its Director and adjutant to Admiral Xander, who's long name I refuse to commit to this log. I swear that man did it just to infuriate typists. Regardless, my new command ship became the Neith II, a Resheph class destroyer. While I currently have access to a Resheph named the Tiamat, I have been offered a new build Osiris class battleship as my flagship. Naturally, I cannot refuse, and she has been christened the Neith, in honor of the legendary vessel.
In keeping with tradition, the Neith will be a test-platform for any technology the science division can come up with that will aid my duties. To that end, a cloaking device will be under construction to enable me to re-establish my network. She will also be fitted with a hangar deck to accommodate my personal craft. Currently I am waiting to hear back from the Gas Miners Guild over renewing my use of a Karasu.