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+--- Thread: To the Bretonian Armed Forces (/showthread.php?tid=16656)
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To the Bretonian Armed Forces - Tomtomrawr - 02-18-2009
Incoming Transmission
Comm ID: Robert Barnaby aboard the "Grande Impuesto"
Location: Planet Crete
RE: Ransom demand
Message Reads:
Greetings members of the BAF.
Today I managed to, lets to "aquire" several pilots of the Bretonian Armed Forces, the Bretonian Police, and twice as many Civilian Pilots, belonging to all transporting companies. Here is the proof:
//image removed, you know i have them
Now that you know I do actually have them we can talk business.
I want 10,000 food rations delivered to Cadiz, where they will be transported to Crete. I am trying to help my people, and this is the first step into doing so.
Give me the proof that the food rations have been delivered here, and I shall meet a transport vessel ALONE to return the pilots to you.
I hope you reply soon, I don't know how long I can keep my crew at bay, especially with the Female prisoners around *laughs*.
Message Ending
Transmission Ending
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - Athenian - 02-18-2009
Battleship Derby
Baaaaaaaaaaaah! Barnaby? Bit of a sissy's name, eh?
I imagine your futile attempt at innuendo means that are suggesting that you are going to make these female prisoners die of giggles through a display of your puny, under-sized and laughable wedding tackle or by showing them your fluffy rear-end. If they are Bretonians they will surely know that a Bretonian gentlemen carries the kit of a Grand National winner and not the wormy little boy john of you Hispanic types.
In any event, whatever you intend, cretin, I can only imagine that death is a far more welcome fate than having to listen to your rabid and poorly-constructed Romance ramblings.
I will confine myself now to saying simply, get stuffed fat pig.
Her Majesty does not negotiate with tiresome terrorists, least of all backward buffoons from that radioactive rat-hole known as Crete.
Still, if you do intend to harm these chaps, I imagine a similar fearsome fate can be swiftly scheduled for your many brethren, or homanos, in our perfidious prisons. If the turnips haven't bloody eaten each other already.
Ten thousand units of food? If I have my way, you'll get ten thousand turds, each one crafted by own dear and spotty bottom.
Up yours, you impetuous and ignorant swine.
Lord Captain Sir Roger Brinkley, CC
Baaaaaaaaaaaah! Barnaby? Bit of a sissy's name, eh?
I imagine your futile attempt at innuendo means that are suggesting that you are going to make these female prisoners die of giggles through a display of your puny, under-sized and laughable wedding tackle or by showing them your fluffy rear-end. If they are Bretonians they will surely know that a Bretonian gentlemen carries the kit of a Grand National winner and not the wormy little boy john of you Hispanic types.
In any event, whatever you intend, cretin, I can only imagine that death is a far more welcome fate than having to listen to your rabid and poorly-constructed Romance ramblings.
I will confine myself now to saying simply, get stuffed fat pig.
Her Majesty does not negotiate with tiresome terrorists, least of all backward buffoons from that radioactive rat-hole known as Crete.
Still, if you do intend to harm these chaps, I imagine a similar fearsome fate can be swiftly scheduled for your many brethren, or homanos, in our perfidious prisons. If the turnips haven't bloody eaten each other already.
Ten thousand units of food? If I have my way, you'll get ten thousand turds, each one crafted by own dear and spotty bottom.
Up yours, you impetuous and ignorant swine.
Lord Captain Sir Roger Brinkley, CC
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - pbrione - 02-18-2009
--Incoming Transmission--
Official Statement:
The Bretonian Government does not negotiate with terrorists or hostage takers. Your demands shall not be met. Why should we help provide supplies to those who are engaged in trying to kill us and destroy our homeland? As Sir Roger quite rightly says, you shall release the hostages unconditionally and unharmed, or you shall be sought out and destroyed, and you put the fate of many, many more corsair prisoners in Bretonian custody in great jeapordy. Our prisons are overcrowded as it is. If the Corsair Council allows you to show inhumane treatment towards our captive citizens, we may well be inclined to hand over corsair prisoners to the mollies or outcasts to free up cell-space. Regretable as it would be, I doubt they would be appreciative of this.
Oh, and many thanks for not bothering to encrypt your transmission, so we know your name and the details and location of your vessel. Be assured that, until such time as our prisoners are unconditionally released, you shall be a top priority target for all the bounty hunters in whatever region of Sirius you flee to.
Yours regretfully,
Commodore Sir Stanley Nelson
BAF Diplomatic Officer
5th Fleet - HMS Suffolk
--End Transmission--
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - Tomtomrawr - 02-18-2009
Incoming Transmission
Comm ID: Robert Barnaby aboard the Grande Impuesto
RE: Ransom Demand
Message Reads:
*laughing* Oh this is hilarious! *laughing*
Unfortunately I am not of Corsair blood, rather born in Rheinland from parents who once lived in Liberty. And I said I was holding my crew back for the moment, god knows how long I can do that, they get so.... "curious" during our job.
I'm sure that you will come to your senses, you speak tough but the Bretonians are known for tea parties. *the laughter is cut off*
So far I am sparing there lives because I am sure you will eventually come to your senses, but who knows how long I can.
And by the way, my ships name there was planted intentionally, but I hope you come against me honourably, with a little 1 vs 1 combat on equal fronts.
Message Ending
Transmission Ending
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - Derkylos - 02-18-2009
--Incoming Transmission--
--Switching to private channel--
--Sender ID: Captain Anthony Baines, commander HMS Tartar, Bretonian Reserve Fleet--
Now, listen here, you no-good son of a dog-breath cow, I don't care who you are, but anyone consorting with those murderous, lecherous vermin known as "Corsairs" must have a screw loose somewhere.
As for your pathetic attempts to blackmail Her Royal Highness' Government, for a start, you hold a measly 40 of our people. Forty! Hah. I regularly destroy ten times that number of Corsair ships on a patrol, unfortunately, due to my gunner's trigger happy nature, only about 50% of their escape pods end up in my hold, but I guess that does your precious nation a service, eh? Cutting down on the amount of food consumed and all that.
For seconds, take a look at this little picture, the result of a small part of today's activities. Unfortunately for them, not all of these scumbags will have the pleasure of seeing the inside of Newgate, I am not the only one who hates your kind with a vengance.
I have a proposal for you, little man. Release all of the people you hold hostage and I will attempt to restrain myself and my crew, especially Miss Garza (who happens to have many interesting methods of inflicting pain, must come from her time spent among Outcasts) from reducing my daily shipment of prisoners to zero...
You claim that Corsairs do not fear death. Indeed, they shall be begging for it when we are done...
Not all of us Bretonians believe in chivalry or drink tea. You would do well to remember that.
--Transmission Ends--
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - BaconSoda - 02-19-2009
Transmission Streaming...
Comm ID: Bretonian Police Authority
Subject: Cowardice
Pah,
You Corsairs are all the same, you think not only shortsightedly, but also foolishly. This venture is nothing but an attention gimmick, as when I did actually order the Hauberk to be filled with food and offered to do an exchange today, you simply ran in cowardice and decided that the Police Commissioner of the Bretonian Police Authority had less dignity and honesty than a member of your "Corsair Nation," which in reality is nothing more than a collection of rocks from which you barbarians consistently find the audacity to crawl out of and attack nations which may be in a position to actually help you.
Furthermore, what do you think you're trying to prove, here, Corsair? The Newgate holds at least ten times what you have in Corsair prisoners. You are only proving your barbarism and inability to withhold your primal instincts. If we so desired, we could burn the prisoners we had at the stake, however, as civilized people, we do not undergo such meaningless and primitive acts. I think I should stop expecting the Corsairs to hold the same amount of decency.
~Police Commissioner Abigail Thorn
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - farmerman - 02-19-2009
From: Dan McKay
Location: Islay, Edinburgh System
*transmission begins*
Now, now, everyone calm down.
The situation on Crete is certainly problematic, but I don't think this is the way to go, good sir. Have you ever heard of that saying about flies and honey? It's very true! How do you think the Jeweled Windbird had managed to spread to so much of Planet Gaia? Yes, logical trapping, not blind threats. Unfortunately, well, you know the situation.
But in the interest of keeping the peace, I do hereby offer to personally deliver 12,000 units of standard sized food rations, half to Cadiz and half straight to Crete, if you will turn those prisoners, and any others you may capture, over to me instead. From there I pledge to peacefully return them to Constable Thorn and the BPA.
What do you think of this proposal?
*transmission ends*
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - Tomtomrawr - 02-19-2009
' Wrote:From: Dan McKay
Location: Edinburgh System
*transmission begins*
Now, now, everyone calm down.
The situation on Crete is certainly problematic, but I don't think this is the way to go, good sir. Have you ever heard of that saying about flies and honey? It's very true! How do you think the Jeweled Windbird had managed to spread to so much of Planet Gaia? Yes, logical trapping, not blind threats. Unfortunately, well, you know the situation.
But in the interest of keeping the peace, I do hereby offer to personally deliver 12,000 units of standard sized food rations, half to Cadiz and half straight to Crete, if you will turn those prisoners, and any others you may capture, over to me instead. From there I pledge to peacefully return them to Constable Thorn and the BPA.
What do you think of this proposal?
*transmission ends*
Incoming Transmission
Comm ID: Robert Barnaby aboard the Grande Impuesto
RE: Ransom Demand
Message Reads:
Ah! Someone with some sense! I humbly accept your offer for those food rations, infact I have more prisoners then before now and there getting abit restless.
Send me gunmounted camera shots of all of the food being delivered and we can end this matter.
Message Ending
Transmission Ending
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - Tomtomrawr - 02-19-2009
Incoming Transmission
Comm ID: Robert Barnaby aboard the Grande Impuesto
RE: Ransom Demand
Message Reads:
I grow IMPATIENT! I have other things to do and can't do them whilst I have these hostages aboard, let me give you another shot of how many there are:
//image removed, you know I have them
They have been at least doubled now, and listen to this.
If I do not find those pictures of that food being delivered by tomorrow morning, i will kill the hostages, i have other things to do!
Message Ending
Transmission Ending
To the Bretonian Armed Forces - Derkylos - 02-19-2009
--Incoming Transmission--
--ID: Captain Baines--
My offer yet stands. You are not the only one that can issue threats.
PS: The intel on you send us on your ships and weapons is most useful, we are indebted to you for this service.
--Transmission Ends--