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Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Printable Version

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Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Karlotta - 04-10-2020

A few days ago a member of the Liberty Government asked me for help in rewriting their laws, and since I've asked this to be done on numerous occasions, I went ahead and did it with goals similar to the Rule Rewrite.

Goals:
- make laws faster and easier to learn for new people
- make things easier to find for everyone
- make them less confusing by putting parts that belong together together
- make them more aesthetically pleasing, better organized, and less annoying to read in order to give a better impression of discovery
- make them short enough to put into infocards on the server, similarly to the Help System

I started by cleaning up the index page of the Laws of Sirius and making a first proposal for the Laws of Liberty. That proposal can be made even shorter if some things I wasnt sure about yet will also be implemented (see the post after this one).

Currently, some examples of size of laws in terms of word count are:

Liberty 3238 (proposal reduces to 1801 or less)
Bretonia 2978
Gallia 1147
Rheinland 3216
Corsairs 1963
Kusari 2142
Crayter 1997
Order 729

I think it should be possible to reduce the number of words in each house law collection to 1500 words of less, even if that requires some smaller law changes (there are none in my proposal so far, unless I misunderstood some laws).

Please point out any problems/mistakes you find, suggest improvements, ask questions, or give other feedback.

It's recommended to open the current (linked) and proposed laws side by side in 2 browser windows for direct comparison.

Proposed Index Page:
------------------------------------------------
Current:
https://discoverygc.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=8584&pid=183747#pid183747

Problems:
- too much text to serve as an effective table of contents
- small print is irrelevant for people reading the laws, only relevant for those writing them
- "A codex listing the laws and regulations applicable to" is repeated 14 times and yields 0 information
- font and colors together with the fact makes people read and average of 3 words like "The Republic of" before they get to the word that lets them find what they were looking for in every line



Update:


Laws and Regulations of Sirius


House Governments

Republic of Liberty
Kingdom of Bretonia
Federal Republic of Rheinland
Empire of Kusari
Confederacy of Gallia



Non-House Entities

Zoner Freeports
The Corsair Empire
The Outcasts
GMG Sovereign Space
The Crayter Republic
The Core
The Coalition People's Republic
The Order Overwatch


Put this into government rules instead of the index page:

Each Government is entitled to one submission detailing all applicable laws within their sovereign territories.

All such submissions should should be no longer than 1500 words, and be copy-pastable into 5 or less infocards and keep a reasonably good layout.


RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Karlotta - 04-10-2020

Laws of Liberty post

Current:

https://discoverygc.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=8584&pid=184926#pid184926

Problems with current version:

- extremely long and wordy
- certain parts repeat or contradict parts that are written in a different far away place, not in the same or nearby place
- links not identify-able due to weird use of text colors
- a lot of italics, bold, and colorful text for unclear reasons that makes it harder to read
- white and light blue texts are barely distinguishable and therefor don't emphasize
- subsection numbering doesn't show the section number
- section titles have more letters in "section number" than the actual information
- the dots like • (probably) cant be copy pasted into an infocard
- some links dont reflect the forum thread title properly, and would therefore make the thread hard to find in text only infocards
- some subsections dont belong in the section they are in


Update:


Changes:

- reduced number of words from 3238 to 1801. Mainly by removing repetitions, lengthy formulations, and useless details. If the "unresolved" and "proposed" parts were implemented, approximately 300 more words would be removed.
- removed mention of LWB
- moved cloak + guns-for-self-defense clauses to equipment section
- moved "Reporting Crimes" out of numbered list of crimes and created "Enforcement" section
- moved definitions from beginning to end of document
- moved POB laws to after more common crimes
- removed many italics, bold letters, and colors that made emphasis moot by being confusing and making url links unrecognizable
- adopted a more systematic 3-color + default ink color theme
- changed section separation lines to be more visible
- changed listing dots to - to make lists consistent and copy-pasteable to infocards
- changed the restricted areas section to what it is probably meant to say
- removed .s and added capital letters where appropriate in titles and headers
- changed names of links to actual forum thread names so the can be found without the url in a server infocard
- created an "enforcement" section that describes how justice is administered
Moved/removed form notes section:
- removed the specific mention of the Treaty of Curacao because Treaties are linked at the beginning
- moved the point about "interpreting the meaning of laws" to "Enforcement" section and changed it to "misleading citizens about the law"
- moved the point about choice of punishments into "Enforcement" section.
- moved the point about height of fines to "Enforcment"
- moved the point about hacking communications to "non violent crimes" and added to the definition
- moved the points about gathering evidence and challenging judgments to "Enforcement"
- moved "restricted areas" into "non violent crimes" as "trespassing"
- merged "criminal organization" and "illegal technology" sections
- made the "no foreign agencies" consistent with the "foreign warships" section and removed Marinenachrichtendienst from list of criminal orgnaizations

Unresolved:

- Section Four "II. Foreign Agencies" conflicts with stated exceptions of Section Two "II. Foreign Warships" by stating that military is not tolerated for any reason
- not clear why "human cargo" is allowed in embargo systems
- "Those found breaking the law in the House of Liberty, whether in the presence of the Liberty forces or not, forfeit all protection that the law provides. " Not sure what the purpose of this is and if its a good idea. Also "This is in case the pirate attempts to deceive authorities by falsely claiming to be the victim, and not the aggressor." seems useless. so removed it for now


Proposed but not implemented:

- The POB License laws could probably be rewritten to provide better guidance to building gameplay-enhancing POBs, using the same number of words. That would also change the content on not only wording/length of the laws, so its a separate topic.

- The list of criminals and illegal equipment is nearly identical, and the same list could be used for for both cases to save a lot of space

- examples of special permissions for ships could be moved to the request thread to unclutter the house law post

- "Base Licensure" should probably go into a separate forum thread to unclutter the laws post

[Image: 220px-Flag-liberty.png]

The Laws of Liberty






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. LAW ENFORCEMENT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


1.1 Judgment, Punishment, and Compliance

Individuals conducting criminal activities, or being part of criminal groups, will be subject to on-site punishment by officers of the Liberty forces, ranging from a verbal warning to immediate use of lethal force. Credit fines levied on the spot in space may be up to ten million credits.

Further legal action may follow if applicable. Fines levied via the neural net can be of any value, but can only be issued by the Primary Fleets of the Liberty Forces.

Judgment of officers on duty are to be abided by, but they can be challenged by contacting their superiors. The aggrieved individual has the right to inform officers of their intention to challenge their judgement, but threatening officers in any way is unacceptable.

All officers are subject to judicial review of their actions, and will be answerable to a criminal court of law if their punishments are found to be unjustly harsh or lenient.

Attempts to mislead civilians or Liberty Forces about the meaning or content of the law fall under subsection 2.5 Obstructing the Course of Justice.


1.2 Reporting Criminal Activities

Law abiding civilians within Liberty can report crimes un-witnessed by officers of the law so they can protect them against criminal entities, via intercom or neural net. For the latter option, follow the instructions given in the Liberty Criminal Registry to file a report.

Those who report crimes must be able to provide meaningful evidence.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. CRIME
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Crimes in the House of Liberty are defined by the following.

2.1 Smuggling of Contraband or Restricted Goods

Carrying any amount of the following goods is illegal, except for the parties listed in parentheses:
- Ageira White Boxes (Ageira, DSE, USI)
- Artifacts
- Azurite Gas
(USI)
- Black Market Light Arms
- Black Market Munitions
- Blood Diamonds
- Cardamine
- Counterfeit Software
- EFL Blue Packs
- Human Organs
(Cryer)
- Hypnotainment Bands
- Kemwer Munitions
- Liquid Cardamine
- Military Salvage
(Lib. and Bret. Corp., J. Congress, Bristol Constr. & Manuf.)
- Nomad Remains and other Nomadic materials
- Nox
- Slaves
- Sorted Artifacts
- Stabiline
(Cryer)
- Synthetic Marijuana (Cryer)
- Xeno Relics

Primary Fleets may confiscate and carry the above goods to a secure destination.

For exceptions to these laws, please visit License Requisition Center.


2.2 Piracy

Piracy is defined as the unlawful disruption of trade lanes, disruption of cruise engines, and/or threats of violence with intent to extort sums of money, equipment, cargo, or personnel.


2.3 Assault

Assault on any member of the Liberty forces for any reason is illegal, unless specifically ordered/permitted by the high command of Primary Fleets.

Assault on any civilian for any reason is illegal except cases of:
- self defense or defense of innocents
- broken laws and non cooperation with Liberty Forces
- lawful bounties by registered Bounty Hunters and Freelancers


2.4 Non-violent Crimes

Impersonating an Officer: Falsely claiming to be part of any branch of the Liberty Forces.

Fleeing Law Enforcement: Using docking points, jump gates, trade lanes, cruise engines, cloaks, or not reducing speed to 0 when ordered to stop by Liberty Forces.

Public Indecency: Includes, but is not limited to, being nude or semi-nude, participating or instigating acts of sexual nature, and displaying explicit material in the public domain.

Improper Passenger Safety: Transporting more than 650 persons in ships other than Liners, Yachts, or Armored Transports. The Pilgrim Liner is also declared to be unsuitable.

Flying Under the Influence of Intoxicants: Piloting whilst affected by the use of substances that impair the ability to fly in a safe manner.

Causing a Public Disturbance: Encouraging or being part of a public disturbance, which includes, but is not limited to, verbal or physical altercations, pollution, or destruction of property.

Hacking/Sabotaging a Communication Channel: Gaining access to a private, restricted, or reserved channel without proper permission, and/or sabotaging communication on that channel. Includes spamming the system-wide channel with nonsense.

Building or supplying an Illegal Modular Base: All bases within Liberty space must be approved of by the Government of the House of Liberty prior to construction. Approval can be requested by following the Neuralnet Notice: Base Construction Licence - Guidelines and Template. The names of legally constructed bases can be found in the List of Approved Modular Bases.

Inciting Violence: Convincing or attempting to convince others around you to commit illegal acts of violence against any entity within the House of Liberty.

Military Espionage: Obtaining and sharing classified information, successfully or unsuccessfully, without the consent of the Liberty Government, on any matter deemed to contribute to national security.

Corporate Espionage: Obtaining and sharing, without the consent of the owning corporation, technical knowledge relating to ideas, products or industrial procedures which, because of its competitive value for the corporation, it wishes to keep concealed. This includes, but is not limited to, Ageira White Boxes.

Trespassing: The following areas are restricted to everyone but LN and LSF ships, with additional exceptions listed:
- Zone-21 minefield in New York and the Trans-Alaska Corridor in Alaska, except to LPI, Ageira, DSE, USI
- The Virginia system, except the stretch between the Texas Jump Gate and Richmond Military Academy
Trespassers will be dealt with using lethal force in these areas.

2.5 Obstructing the Course of Justice

Individuals preventing, evading or delaying the administration of justice will be subject to punishments deemed necessary by the ranking officer on duty. Examples are:
- Destroying or stealing cargo from the wreck of a criminal despite being told not to
- Allowing criminals to dock on a station within the House of Liberty
- Other attempts to protect or hide criminals or evidence from Liberty Forces



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. KNOWN CRIMINALS AND EQUIPMENT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Names of individual known criminals are listed in the Liberty Criminal Database and the Liberty Bounty Board.

Persons using equipment or means of identification originating from known illegal organizations are treated as co-conspirators and criminals.

Special licenses for the use of certain forbidden or restricted equipment can be obtained in the License Requisition Center. Approved exceptions can be found in the List of Approved Special Licenses.

Carrying weapons and cloaking devices for the purpose of self defense is permitted, unless used to break the law, used to escape law enforcement, or being of illegal origin.

3.1 Illegal Affiliations and Technology

Affiliating with, working for, or possessing identification, ship, equipment or weaponry, from the following organisations is forbidden:
- Battlegroup Harmony
- Blood Dragons
- Coalition
- Corsairs
- Farmers Alliance
- Gaians
- Gallic Brigands
- Gallic Royal Enclave
- Gammu Artificial Intelligence
- Golden Chrysanthemums
- Hellfire Legion
- Lane Hackers
- Liberty Rogues
- Liberty Separatists
- Mollys
- Nomads
- Order
- Outcasts
- Pirates
- Red Hessians
- Rheinland Black Market
- Unioners
- Xenos

The possession of small ships designed and produced for Liberty Forces is not permitted unless affiliated with the Liberty Navy, LSF, or LPI, or otherwise authorized by the government. These ships are:
- Liberator Light Fighter
- Executioner Heavy Fighter
- Guardian Very Heavy Fighter
- Avenger Very Heavy Fighter
- Defiant Liberty Gunboat

Anybody in possession of illegal equipment will be asked to hand it to LSF-approved isolation units, which exist on every authorized station in Liberty. Offenders may also be required to jettison all cargo, pay a fine, or surrender themselves to imprisonment for further trial. Refusal to comply will result in destruction of their ship.


3.2 Warships

Only warships in service within the ranks of the Liberty Forces are permitted within the house of Liberty. Any destroyer, cruiser, or larger are classed as Warship, with exception of the Corvo Civilian Deep Space Explorer and the Bustard Civilian Light Carrier.

3.2.1 Foreign Warships
Foreign warships found within the house of Liberty without prior permission will be, depending on the conditions, escorted out or boarded and diverted to moor on Norfolk shipyard in New York. Any resistance will result in the warship being destroyed.

Friendly or neutral warships may be invited and escorted through Liberty by ranking Primary Fleet officers only, for reasons such as:
- Diplomatic talks with the government of Liberty or a corporation based within Liberty
- The warship in question needing urgent repairs or resupply.
- Flight through Liberty to avoid a warzone.

Permanent clearance for foreign warships to operate in the House of Liberty is not available.

3.2.2 Homeland Warships
Capital ships of the Liberty forces are not allowed in the hands of those without Liberty Navy, Liberty Security Forces or Liberty Police identification papers, unless prior permission is given by the High Command of the Liberty Navy.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. WARTIME AND FOREIGN AGENCIES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


4.1 Hostile Entities

Any vessels belonging to the following factions that are caught breaching the borders of the Republic will be treated as enemy combatants and either forced to leave or shot down. These vessels will also have to forfeit the contents of their cargo hold if the officers on the scene deem such an action to be conducive to national security.

- Gallic Royal Enclave
- Independent Miners Guild (IMG| only)


4.2 Foreign Agencies and Forces

The Republic of Liberty does not allow foreign military, intelligence or police agencies to access to its space unsupervised by Liberty Primary Fleet members.

The Forces of Liberty will ask these entities to retreat from Liberty space at once if they violate Liberty space. Failure to comply will result in arrest or destruction of offending vessels.

Foreign Intelligence Agencies may be unconditionally arrested or destroyed if found to be operating within Liberty.


4.3 Embargoes

No cargo is allowed to pass through the following systems with the exception of "human cargo" in accordance to proper passenger conditions.
- Bering
- Vespucci


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. BASE LICENSURE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The licensing procedure for new bases is detailed in License Requisition Center.

Owners must lease the space the base will occupy for the duration of its existence. The following payment plans are possible:
- 50.000.000 per month
- 500.000.000 per year
- 1.000.000.000 one-time

Payment details for the fees will be specified after application.

Owners will provide the precise location of the planned installation in a message to The Republic of Liberty. The location will be handled confidentially if specified.

Potential problems with base positioning, such as traffic disruption, will result in refusal or a proposed modification.

Construction of bases within 5 clicks of existing an station will require written permission from official representatives of the existing station(s).

Construction of weapon platforms requires specific permission from the Liberty Government, and must be applied for in the same channel. These permissions may cost up to 50.000.000 credits per platform.

A base found to harbor groups or individuals hostile to Liberty Forces may suffer consequences.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. NOTES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The following terms are defined as:

Liberty Forces: Liberty Police Inc. (LPI), Liberty Navy (LN), and Liberty Security Force (LSF)

Primary Fleets: Vessels with [LN], 5th|, =LSF= or LPI- identification

Liberty Corporations: Ageira Technologies (Ageira), Deep Space Engineering (DSE), Universal Shipping (USI), Interspace Commerce (IC), Synth Foods, Cryer Pharmaceuticals, and Orbital Spa & Cruise (OSC)

The House of Liberty: The systems of New York, California, Colorado, Texas, Virginia, Ontario, Alberta, Pennsylvania, and Kansas. Laws are also enforced in immediately connecting independent systems if necessary for Liberty's security.



RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Lusitano - 04-10-2020

any thing that make this lawssimpler are welcome, preferably with a more simple english that everyone can really understand. i bet even official factions members don't know or understand most of it


RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Capt. Henry Morgan - 04-10-2020

Only 2978 words in Bretonia's laws? Something somewhere has gone horribly wrong...

[Image: 13e.jpg]


RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - NixOlympica - 04-10-2020

Not sure if you want feedback but the amount of red paired with the blue text is at least to me extremely uncomfortable to read.


RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Capt. Henry Morgan - 04-10-2020

(04-10-2020, 06:11 PM)NixOlympica Wrote: Not sure if you want feedback but the amount of red paired with the blue text is at least to me extremely uncomfortable to read.
They're laws, they're supposed to make you uncomfortable.

Seriously, though, that contrast is pretty hard on the eyes. Might I suggest substituting the red for white for most of it?


RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Binski - 04-10-2020

I like that Red, white and blue theme for Libert's charter, makes sense to me! Plus the red seems to be all stuff about infractions or contraband, it catches the eye towards the stuff you might not want to miss. Bretonia could probably get away with a similar change.


RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Karlotta - 04-10-2020

Can the people who dont like the red text quote a part of the laws and change it to a color theme they would prefer?

Maybe white, like this?


[Image: 220px-Flag-liberty.png]

The Laws of Liberty






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. CRIME
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Crimes in the House of Liberty are defined by the following.

2.1 Smuggling of Contraband or Restricted Goods

Carrying any amount of the following goods is illegal, except for the parties listed in parentheses:
- Ageira White Boxes (Ageira, DSE, USI)
- Artifacts
- Azurite Gas
(USI)
- Black Market Light Arms
- Black Market Munitions
- Blood Diamonds
- Cardamine
- Counterfeit Software
- EFL Blue Packs
- Human Organs
(Cryer)
- Hypnotainment Bands
- Kemwer Munitions
- Liquid Cardamine
- Military Salvage
(Lib. and Bret. Corp., J. Congress, Bristol Constr. & Manuf.)
- Nomad Remains and other Nomadic materials

Primary Fleets may confiscate and carry the above goods to a secure destination.

For exceptions to these laws, please visit License Requisition Center.


2.2 Piracy

Piracy is defined as the unlawful disruption of trade lanes, disruption of cruise engines, and/or threats of violence with intent to extort sums of money, equipment, cargo, or personnel.



RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Lucas - 04-10-2020

Looks a whole lot better
Also good job


RE: Polishing up the Laws of Sirius - Karlotta - 04-10-2020

Or another shade of blue?

[Image: 220px-Flag-liberty.png]

The Laws of Liberty






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. CRIME
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Crimes in the House of Liberty are defined by the following.

2.1 Smuggling of Contraband or Restricted Goods

Carrying any amount of the following goods is illegal, except for the parties listed in parentheses:
- Ageira White Boxes (Ageira, DSE, USI)
- Artifacts
- Azurite Gas
(USI)
- Black Market Light Arms
- Black Market Munitions
- Blood Diamonds
- Cardamine
- Counterfeit Software
- EFL Blue Packs
- Human Organs
(Cryer)
- Hypnotainment Bands
- Kemwer Munitions
- Liquid Cardamine
- Military Salvage
(Lib. and Bret. Corp., J. Congress, Bristol Constr. & Manuf.)
- Nomad Remains and other Nomadic materials

Primary Fleets may confiscate and carry the above goods to a secure destination.

For exceptions to these laws, please visit License Requisition Center.


2.2 Piracy

Piracy is defined as the unlawful disruption of trade lanes, disruption of cruise engines, and/or threats of violence with intent to extort sums of money, equipment, cargo, or personnel.




Or grey?



[Image: 220px-Flag-liberty.png]

The Laws of Liberty






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. CRIME
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Crimes in the House of Liberty are defined by the following.

2.1 Smuggling of Contraband or Restricted Goods

Carrying any amount of the following goods is illegal, except for the parties listed in parentheses:
- Ageira White Boxes (Ageira, DSE, USI)
- Artifacts
- Azurite Gas
(USI)
- Black Market Light Arms
- Black Market Munitions
- Blood Diamonds
- Cardamine
- Counterfeit Software
- EFL Blue Packs
- Human Organs
(Cryer)
- Hypnotainment Bands
- Kemwer Munitions
- Liquid Cardamine
- Military Salvage
(Lib. and Bret. Corp., J. Congress, Bristol Constr. & Manuf.)
- Nomad Remains and other Nomadic materials

Primary Fleets may confiscate and carry the above goods to a secure destination.

For exceptions to these laws, please visit License Requisition Center.


2.2 Piracy

Piracy is defined as the unlawful disruption of trade lanes, disruption of cruise engines, and/or threats of violence with intent to extort sums of money, equipment, cargo, or personnel.






Or reverse that



[Image: 220px-Flag-liberty.png]

The Laws of Liberty






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. CRIME
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Crimes in the House of Liberty are defined by the following.

2.1 Smuggling of Contraband or Restricted Goods

Carrying any amount of the following goods is illegal, except for the parties listed in parentheses:
- Ageira White Boxes (Ageira, DSE, USI)
- Artifacts
- Azurite Gas
(USI)
- Black Market Light Arms
- Black Market Munitions
- Blood Diamonds
- Cardamine
- Counterfeit Software
- EFL Blue Packs
- Human Organs
(Cryer)
- Hypnotainment Bands
- Kemwer Munitions
- Liquid Cardamine
- Military Salvage
(Lib. and Bret. Corp., J. Congress, Bristol Constr. & Manuf.)
- Nomad Remains and other Nomadic materials

Primary Fleets may confiscate and carry the above goods to a secure destination.

For exceptions to these laws, please visit License Requisition Center.


2.2 Piracy

Piracy is defined as the unlawful disruption of trade lanes, disruption of cruise engines, and/or threats of violence with intent to extort sums of money, equipment, cargo, or personnel.



-----------------------

I think of the alternatives to the OP, I prefer the last one.