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The Busted Blues - Rat Pack - 05-14-2020
“This is a stupid plan, Ted. It’ll never work.”
“Just grab his legs would you?”
“No one is going to believe we are these three.”
“Yeah, I actually have hair!”
“Sssh!” Ted hissed as he and Jimmy hoisted the freshly pummelled inmate into Jasper’s cell.
The labour camp was eerily quiet at this hour, only a handful of guards remained to watch over the prisoners while the rest had wisely fled when the civil war erupted. News reports painted an ugly picture of the world outside, speaking of rebellions and armed militia wreaking havoc in the streets. Rheinland was tearing itself apart while the Rat Pack was stuck hammering sheet metal, forced to watch as all the lucrative smuggling opportunities passed them by.
For two long years the trio of Ted, Jasper and Jimmy had slaved away, cursing the sting that had put them all on ice. Every week they’d spend an hour in the mess accusing each other of getting them caught, only to return to scheming the very next day. They witnessed dozens of attempted escapes and dozens of failures, despite all the careful planning in the world no one seemed able to get more than ten feet beyond the fence. It wasn’t till six months into their sentences that they discovered the reasoning behind it, something Jasper overheard between two guards, once an inmate tries to escape the government can label them as unreformable which means they get the book thrown at them. Longer sentence, harsher prison and more time working off their debt to society without chance of parole.
Knowing the game being played the three hunkered down and began looking for different angles. If they were getting out, they were going to stay out.
The smell of opportunity rose in the air at the onset of the civil war and Ted was the bloodhound to catch the scent. His plan was bold and mind-numbingly simple. Jimmy thought it was stupid. Jasper thought it was crazy. Yet without any other ideas they went ahead and now they were dressed in the clothes of three men who were bound for freedom.
“Now act natural” said Ted, readjusting the jacket that was easily two sizes too big from him “that’s perfect Jimmy, that scowl sells it!”
Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head while Jimmy put on a bald cap made from stitched together old rubber gloves that’d been flesh coloured with face paint.
“And the finishing touch!” grinned Ted as he carefully placed the most obvious looking hair piece on top. “Right, lets go” he beckoned them onwards.
“You know he’s right” Jasper said with the faintest of grins “you really do look like a Rheinlander with that face.”
Jimmy narrowed his eyes at both of them as they trudged towards processing.
The sentry turrets followed their every move as they entered, gun sights fixed upon their backs as they lined up in front of the scanner. Bogart, the guard working processing, gave the trio a troubled look before hitting the scan button. This was his payoff. They get past the scanner and he hands them their clothing but pockets the credits they were carrying when they were arrested, almost eighty grand in all. There were allowed variations in the scan to account for weight loss and general poor health in the camp, however if there was too much difference the place would lock down tight and the turrets would open fire, only to stun hopefully.
Ted was first. The machine slowly crept from his feet to his head and down again, painfully slowly. The variation was just within tolerance.
Jasper next. Again just within tolerance.
Finally Jimmy. A perfect match.
They approached the counter as the automated locker doors opened revealing their own effects, a little database tampering switching the respective numbers. Bogart collected each one individually and handed them out, carefully sliding the credits into his sleeve as he did. Then with a small nod he clocked out of his shift and disappeared, leaving the trio to walk out the front door just as Ted had planned.
A weak morning sun greeted them as they stepped across the threshold into what the inmates had come to call “der graben”, a five meter radius between the inner and outer fences where all other escape attempts had failed. The walk was torturously slow, with each step the urge to run grew, until finally they passed the second fence. Unfortunately Ted hadn’t counted on one very important detail. The families of the three men they had replaced.
A large man who was hanging on the open door of his car approached Jimmy and grabbed him by the collar “Hey! Where’s my brother? Why are you wearing his clothes!” he bellowed in his native tongue. Similar cries came from two other cars parked nearby.
Jimmy, who didn’t need to understand a word to know they’d been made, simply headbutted his accoster without a moment’s hesitation. The blow sent the man staggering. Jimmy ripped himself from his grip and dove into the driver’s seat, barely allowing Ted and Jasper to fling themselves into the back as he floored it. The alarm wailed. Shots peppered the bodywork while Jasper and Ted’s feet dangled out the open door. They were out.
Ripping off the cap and piece, Jimmy tossed them out the window as the car belted away from the camp. Jasper and Ted got themselves actually seated, closing the door as they laughed maniacally at their ridiculous escape.
“Out of the damned front door!” Jasper chuckled, jabbing Ted in the arm “That was crazy”
“Told ya it would work!”
“Almost makes up for all the bar tabs, almost!” chuckled Jimmy, driving the shot-riddled car towards the dirtiest part of the city he could see. “Jasper, get up here and gimme directions would ya? I ain’t got a clue where I’m headin’.”
“Why me?”
“You’re from here ain’t ya?”
“New Berlin, Jimmy. This is Hamburg.”
“What’s the difference? One planet full of unhappy Rheinlanders ain’t that different from the next, right?”
“Just cause they all look the same doesn't mean they are.” he chuckled while typing in some coordinates. “Try this place. I knew a fence there a while back, can’t hurt to swing by.”
Taking a right, the car barrelled down towards Jasper’s contact while Ted debated keeping his prison clothes which he thought looked much nicer than his usual threads.
The streets gradually shifted from open industrial to rundown commercial to seedy neighbourhood. All the while Jimmy kept hard on the gas, trying to not draw too much attention as they flew down the streets, or as little as can be in a car full of holes. Folks on the street gave fleeting looks as they trundled down a pothole-riddled road, finally turning onto a small bit of asfalt with garages either side.
“Get changed guys, we’re ditchin’ the ride.” Jimmy said as he parked up as far out of sight as possible and dredged out his threads.
“Why? We’re still not there yet!”
“‘Cos it ain’t wise to be wanted men in a stolen car, that thing can be found far easier than a bunch a’ guys on a sidewalk.”
Begrudgingly Jasper and Ted agreed, changing into their usual clothing while Jimmy tore apart the glove box pulling out a small stash of candy bars and a six pack of beer. “Breakfast fellas” he said, handing out a share.
Together they pounded the sidewalk towards Jasper’s contact, drinks in one hand and chocolate in the other. The locals ignored them for the most part only casting furtive glances as they passed.
By mid afternoon they reached a diner with an entire convoy’s worth of trucks parked out front, behind it the flights from the local spaceport could be seen heading back and forth. Jasper took the lead as they entered “Bitte drei bestellungen bratwurst” he said to the woman behind the counter, holding up three fingers “und Kompliment an Herrn Franklin.” The woman nodded and disappeared into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with three servings uttering “auf dem Haus” as she moved on to the next customer.
Picking up their food they headed outside and to the backdoor “you guys wait here a minute” he nodded, handing his food to Jimmy and disappearing inside.
“Not how we usually do things huh?” Ted pointed out between huge bites, dripping mustard on the floor in front of him.
“Suppose it works?”
“It better! You going to eat yours?”
Jimmy looked him in the eye and took a bite, chewing it with intent.
A few minutes later Jasper reappeared taking back his bratwurst with relish “Got us a ride to Providence in about an hour, thought you’d like to see your old office Jimmy” he chuckled “Plus I figure you’ve got something up there that could get us back on our feet again.”
“What if I don’t? What if I’m as broke as you two and we’re heading to a pirate haven without so much as two credits to rub together?”
“You really trying to tell us you ain’t got stashes hidden around the sector, Jimmy?” Ted asked, tilting his head “Really?”
He simply grunted “How we getting there then?”
“Pair of red shoes, how else.”
Soon the trio found themselves a stone’s throw away from the spaceport after a silent ride from the diner. The driver dropped them off without a word, pushing an old backpack into Jaspers hands before pulling away.
“Those the shoes?” Jimmy enquired sarcastically “Hope they got my size.”
Inside the bag was a fake gun, an auth-cracker, some cheap masks, bolt cutters and a picture of what seemed to be a humpback freighter that had seen far better days. Jasper divided the kit among them, gun to Jimmy, bolt cutters to Ted and a mask apiece.
“This is our way offworld” Jasper showed them both the picture “we sneak in the back and wait until we’re inlane to Hudson. Hijack it, break lane near Nordheide, stick the pilot in an escape pod and make our way to Providence. Easy.”
“I like easy but where's the catch?.” Ted asked, giving Jasper a shifty look.
“No catch, we just gotta do it before the Soltau picks us up on scope.”
“Cruiser?”
“Carrier group.”
“Of course” Deadpanned Jimmy, sticking the gun inside his shirt “Easy.”
Once inside the fence they stuck to the back of the hangars while Jasper searched for their target, finding it at the far end of the row still being loaded. Together they crept along the hangar wall, pausing to let the pilot return for another load of cargo before quickly pelting it across the tarmac and into the hold, squeezing themselves behind the biggest container they could find. Ted gave a vigorous thumbs up looking exhausted but still clutching on to the bolt cutters.
The tension was palpable as the pilot brought on more cargo, a hiss from the hydraulics told them this was the last crate. The pilot’s footsteps drew closer, he was almost on top of them. They sunk down further as ragged breaths came from the opposite side of their crate. The final bit of cargo dropped to the floor with a clunk, the man seemed to linger for eternity as the trio held their collective breath. Finally he headed into the cockpit, the three relaxing as the interior door clanged shut.
“Oh my heart” uttered Ted “I’m too sober for this.”
Jimmy had his eyes closed, head leaning back against the crate. A hand instinctively searching for his non-existent cigarettes. Jasper meanwhile had emerged from their hiding place after a minute and was now peeking through the window into the cockpit. “He's doing preflight, grab hold of something.”
Sure enough a moment later cargo began to lurch as the grav systems kicked in, steadily raising the glorified garbage can into the air and up towards the docking rings. Clinging to the bulkheads, the three braced themselves against the juddering.
“What’s next?” Jimmy asked, keeping an eye on the stacks of cargo as they shifted worryingly.
“I guess we wait until we’re in the tradelane then jump him?”
“He’ll hit the SOS and drop us out of lane too early if we do that.” Noted Ted who’d already cut into one of the crates and was now inspecting a coffee maker like it was some alien device. “We’d need to get him out of that chair.”
Jimmy moved over to the window, peeking through he saw the clouds beginning to thin with tiny specks of starlight shining beyond. "We're almost out of atmo, any brilliant ideas or should I just knock?"
"I don't know, you're the plan man!" Jasper retorted, gesturing back "What do you…" His words being cut short as Ted began tossing boxes carelessly out of the crate as he dug deeper. "...Dammit Ted, stop breaking the merchandise."
"No, don't."
"What?"
"Check the stacked cargo for barrels or like small boxes."
Ted threw him a concerned look "Well Jimmy's lost it, knew it would happen eventually. It's all up to you now, good luck." He threw a thumbs up to Jasper before returning to his search.
"Look, just get up there and push something off when I give the signal, alright?"
The two clambered up with some difficulty, exchanging muttered grumbling as they scaled crate after crate. At the top they pulled loose a package of metals from its binding and positioned it at the edge while Jimmy kept his eye through the glass, fake gun in his raised hand.
By now the freighter had broken atmosphere and was heading towards the tradelane to Planet Kiel. The traffic was mercifully light, no wonder considering the civil war, giving them the entire lane to themselves. Jimmy raised his hand higher as the ship drew closer. The lane emitters fired up. A lurch forward. His hand dropped. Just as the humpback slipped into the lane an all mighty crash echoed throughout the ship. Jimmy lingered just long enough to see the pilot flinch before flattening himself against the wall, gun at the ready.
A stream of Rheinlander curses announced the pilots return as he stomped back to the cargo hold in the foulest of moods. He flung open the door and surveyed the heap of twisted metal that was once part of his payday, only to freeze solid upon feeling cold metal pressed against the back of his skull.
“Escape pod. Move.” Growled Jimmy, his free hand gesturing Jasper and Ted towards the cockpit. The pilot did as he was told, jumping into one of the escape pods without the slightest resistance. “How we doing up there?”
“Working on it!” Replied Jasper, busy working the auth cracker while Ted readied to take the controls. “C’mon you piece of scrap, unlock faster.”
“Three rings left…”
“Almost.”
“Two.”
“Almost!…”
“Running out of rings here!”
“NOW!”
Ted broke lane and veered hard towards the asteroid field, gunning the thrusters as the cruise drive slowly charged. A flashing light on the instrument panel told them Jimmy had kicked the previous pilot and his escape pod into the inky black.
“Freelancer Delta 12 - 4 we have you on scopes. You are not permitted to enter the Nordheide. Return to the lane immediately or you will be fired upon. This is your only warning.”
A lone fighter sprang onto the radar emerging from the border of the field and barreling right towards them. The escape pod’s SOS began to flash as the freighter's drive kicked in sending them hurtling into the asteroids.
“Haha! What's it gonna be, Hans? Us or him?” Ted taunted the radar blip, careening the aged humpback between huge chunks of floating rock. Volleys of gunfire streaked across the bow as plumes of energy flared against the hard stone around them in response.
“Just fly us to the damn jumphole!”
A hard barrel roll over a huge rock sent Jasper tumbling around the cockpit, muffled yells echoing from the cargo bay went unnoticed as Ted threw the old freighter about. The target lock alarm flashed as salvos of disrupters and homing missiles streaked towards them. Just ahead was the jumphole. The rocks began to shrink as they flew closer, finally emerging into an almost empty patch.
“We’re home free boys!” Yelled Ted as he hammered towards their escape. Another barrage of gunfire flew past but this time a few found their mark slamming into the freighters shields. The countermeasures were running dry. A missile struck the port side hard. 6 Kilometers from the jumphole. Another volley hit. 3 Kilometers. The shields buckled. 2 Kilometers. Countermeasures emptied. A disrupter knocked out the cruise. 1 Kilometer. The armour was giving way. Another missile lock….
The freighter emerged in Bering. Parts of the armour had been ripped off in huge chunks and clouds of fuel were venting into space. Inside the cockpit Ted was trying to get the cruise engines online while Jasper peeled himself off the wall. “At least we’re not dead” he groaned, dragging himself upright using Ted’s chair.
“How do you know that?”
“YOU ALIVE JIMMY?” He bellowed down the corridor. A moment later an anguished “No” answered. Ted shrugged as he kicked the gently smouldering deathtrap into cruise and onwards towards the functioning part of the tradelane. At the end of the small hop stood Freeport 2, or Freeport Providence as it was called by the Pack after the pirates took over and left Jimmy as administrator, looking slightly more worn and rundown but still functioning. They pulled into one of the open bays and set down, the humpback barely surviving the landing. A moment later Jasper and Ted were in the cargo bay, finding Jimmy resting against a bulkhead looking battered and bruised.
“We made it Jimmy-boy, now you gotta lead us to your hidey-hole.”
He dragged himself up, giving them both a look of supreme annoyance before smacking the ramp button and hobbling out into the station without a word. As they passed through the doors leading to the heart of the Freeport an ear splitting screech filled the bay, snapping around they watched as landing gear of the humpback gave way. The right side of its battered hull collapsed under the weight until the entire thing tilted over, crashing side first onto the floor with an all mighty boom.
“Not our problem” said Jimmy as he walked off towards the cargo areas.
They eventually came to a stop outside a storage room that seemed thoroughly ransacked. The door was off its hinges, shelving units had been ripped from the walls, old food packets were thrown everywhere and the ceiling had been pulled down forming an impassable heap.
“Looks like someone got here first, and second.” Commented Jasper as Jimmy stepped over the debris making his way through the wreckage and suddenly disappeared. A moment later a hand came through what looked to be a solid chunk of metal that had become cloth-like as Jimmy put his hand under it and beckoned them both through. Behind the fabric the trio came face to face with a metal door that led into another room.
“Welcome to my holdout fellas” Said Jimmy, opening the door with a finger and stepping through. The room looked a lot like his old office, crates of this and that were stacked everywhere, an old table was upright against the wall with four stools piled in front and a large cooler full of alcohol stood humming in the corner. Three foldout beds were against the far wall, each with a small barrier of crates separating them. Jimmy dropped into the closest one with a grunt “Pass me the first aid kit, would’ya?” He jabbed a finger at the cabinet near the door. Jasper pulled out a small green box from halfway up and opened it “There’s only rum and cigarettes in here Jimmy” he said passing it across.
“What’s your point?” Jimmy retorted, lighting up a smoke and taking a drag. Ted had already crossed the room and was busy raiding the cooler. Returning with two full bottles, he handed one to Jasper before briefly raising his own “Nice digs you got here. When’d you have time to get this done?”
“Just before the pirates took over the joint. I was planning to have all the storage units like this ya’know, have a secure half for big ticket stuff?” Jimmy took another drag “Pirates trashed the place looking for cargo so I just put that fabric over the hole and boom. Instant hideaway.”
“Not bad” nodded Jasper appreciatively “But what about credits? You got any cash laying about that could get us back on our feet?” Jimmy grinned and took up the packet of smokes once more, this time drawing out a set of credit cards and waving them around. The pair grabbed a card each.
“You had fifteen million stuck into a packet of cigarettes in a first aid box? That's the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen!”
“Stupidly brilliant. Who’d check smokes for credit cards, honestly?”
Jimmy opened up the rum and smiled “Get yourselves somethin’ that can move, the sector’s a warzone and opportunity is knocking” raising his bottle to the others.
A few hours later the trio departed to acquire their ships, eager to get back their fortunes and reputation as the finest smugglers in Sirius.
RE: The Busted Blues - Stoner_Steve - 05-16-2020
“Alright Ted, unless you manage to claw back your blind this is the last hand”
“I still don’t understand why I have to put money in without even seeing my cards”
“Its how poker works Ted”
“It sounds like a scam”
“If it was a scam you’d be an expert in it by now Ted”
Ted frowned unhappily as he slid his last chip out into the center of the table joining another two from Jasper. As Jimmy started to deal the cards out Jasper horsley cracked “So Ted” he paused for a second picking up the freshly delt cards on the table, “Are you going to enliten Jimmy and I about where you’ve been running off to every other night it seems.” Ted scowled further as he picked up his hand “No comment”. It was Jimmy's turn to prod “Common Ted, you disappear for almost a whole week and show back up with a Celestra, they don’t exactly have them down at the dealership.” Jimmy paused for a moment while looking his hand over. “I’ll take two” as he placed a pair of cards down and taking two more from the deck. “It's not stolen right, we're not trying to get caught again Ted.”
Ted sighed explosively “I’ll take four”
“No you fold” Jasper cut across him
“But I want four cards”
“If you need four cards you have a trash hand and need to fold”
“But I’m out of chips then”
“Happens”
Ted scowled again while setting the whole hand down. “Well I guess I’m out” he huffed. Looking at Jasper, “and I guess you're up” “No” Jasper grinned again “I fold too.” Jimmy laughed as he took the three chips from the center of the table. “Alright Gentlemen I’ve gotten it all but the shirts off your backs time to call it a night.” he gathered the cards before standing in the rather cramped dinette area of their shared quarters aboard Freeport Providence and disappearing around the corner into the kitchen. “A nightcap?” Jimmy offered, returning with a bottle of wine and three glasses. At the collective agreement of the other two he uncorked the bottle and poured out glasses between the trio.
Silence fell between them for some moments, each drinking from time to time. “So Ted, I need to know, that freighter wasn’t stolen right, we just…” Ted cut Jimmy off sounding exasperated “I know, I know, we just got out. It's a fully clean deal, I know what I’m doing.” It was Jimmy's turn to cut Ted off. “I’m not trying to say you don’t know how to buy a ship cleanly. I'm wondering where you came up with half a million credits to buy one. I can see you haven’t spent the credits we split, and It's not exactly like you can get out and stand on a street corner...” he trailed off at the sight of Ted's scowl. “Well if you don’t want me to prod you better fess up.”
“Fine” Ted sighed exasperatedly. “You see it all started last week….
__________
Ted entered the crowded flight deck of Freeport Providence, in the absence of a station administrator, and more importantly a departure board the flight deck had descended into a hodgepodge of chaos. Fighters and freighters covered almost every open space with the majority of their pilots standing out front of their ships. Some calling out their destination and prices for fare, others with cardboard signs with sloppy handwriting.
Approaching a rather battered Clydesdale Ted found its pilot sleeping with his feet up on a pile of crates. Kicking them slightly with his foot, “Oyi you, going to Huston?” The pilot gave a non commital grunt. “Do you go anywhere on Huston?” another grunt in response. “So I’ll just wait inside?” A few minutes later the pilot lumbered inside and they departed for the Texas system.
An hour, or was it a few hours, later Ted found himself on the dusty surface of Planet Huston, watching the Clydsdale streak back into the vast sky. As the freighter became little more than a little pinprick Ted approached a fence, almost 10 feet high and as rusty as it was useful. Finding the swing gate open, with the words “Wills Wrecking Yard” scrawled out in scrap metal along its face.
“WILL!” Ted exclaimed into the yard. His voice echoing off of the spacecraft in various states of decay. “WILL!” he exclaimed again. A faint “Over here” floated by in reply. Walking up the rows Ted found an old contact of his, sitting under a Arrow Fighter with a pry bar. A rather ugly looking rock was deeply embedded in the hull. “Ted is that you? I thought you died! It’s been almost 4 years since I’ve seen you!” Will quickly rattled off while he stood and grabbed Ted's outstretched hand. “What brings you back to this dusty corner of Liberty.” “I’m lookinh for something to get me and some cargo from a to b.” “well, we might have somethin’ working around here”
It took them the better part of an hour to work their way through the entire inventory. Despite the great number of craft littering the lot only a dozen were immediately repairable with only two starting on the first, or third try.
“Alright Ted, which is it gonna be?” Will asked, both of them standing before the only ‘working’ freighters. A “Celestra" Crayter Armed Frighter with only a largish hole in the side and a IDC K-FR-2303 "Sunburst" Civilian Freighter with the same inexplicable hole, this one however on top instead of the side of the craft. “You know Will, if I didn’t know better I’d say that these two were boarded by Pirates.” “But you do know better don’tcha?” “I do, they got papers?” “Aye, salvage titles though, Interspace won’t insure you” At Wills comment Ted burst out laughing. “I don’t think they would insure me anyways.” Ted gestured to the Celestra “Put a bow on that one for me.” “Okay, better follow me inside then” “Why?” “For the space suit obviously”
__________
“Hold the phone” Jimmy interrupted. “This whole time you had a friend you could scrounge off of but I have to feed you like some lost puppy” “Now now Jimmy,” Ted grinned, “He didn’t let me have it entirely for free.” “Oh great someone else I gotta settle up with when I meet. You know Ted just once I’d like to visit a bar and be able to open and run the tab up, not just pay yours down.” “Will doesn’t run a bar” “Goddamn Ted what did he trade you that thing for” “A Liver”
“Excuse Me?”
“Can I finish my story?”
__________
Will and Ted were both inside the trailer that represented Wills home and office. “...and that's why I need a new liver. Of course workin this place barely pays for my food and fuel, nothin close to what a fancy engineered organ would cost.” Ted stared into the table between them “Will, even if that hulk of scrap outside gets me back to the Freeport, there's no way it would be able to go far enough…” Will interjected “Ted, this doesn’t need to happen tomorrow, the doctors say I have a few months before things get real bad.” It was Ted's turn to cut Will off “these same doctors are just going to blindly stuff a liver into you, is that even a thing, can I just walk up to a hospital and go ‘hello here's a liver please replace mine’.” Ted cackled a bit “If it's that easy I got a buddy who needs a new drinking liver too!” Teds laughter faded slowly, Will frowned before speaking again. “I got it all here in a data chip, it's simple Ted, you just go to Heisenberg, you pay one of those Freelance doctors to print me a liver, you bring it back.” “Your serious” “Ted I need this.” “Fine”
The Celestia rattled and shook as Ted coaxed the craft higher and higher into the atmosphere. As he broke orbit the cockpit glass momentary fogged before clearing, no doubt he was truly in space now. As the engines wined up to a high pitch and thrust gently pulled Ted into his seat he was bound in a ship of his very own for Freeport Providence.
__________
Ted picked up his wine glass, finishing it once more. “And that’s how the Chicago Typewriter became mine” he sneered at Jimmy “lllllleeeeeegggggaaaaallllllllyyyyyy.”
“Ted, you can’t honestly expect to take a half damaged freighter all the way to Cologne.” “It's all cosmetic, I promise, and you heard me he’s got at least a few months, hopefully, maybe.” Ted trailed off and grimaced.
There was an awkward silence between the trio.
“So a Liver?”
“Yeah, a Liver.”