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+--- Thread: The Disreputable Dunlin (/showthread.php?tid=201999)
The Disreputable Dunlin - Mr. Lime - 03-02-2024
Part I, the Sigmas.
Rheinland, Liberty, Bretonia. Mr. Lime, the captain of the Calico visited these and all other Houses Sirius had to offer, and yet he still found only one place with the promise of adventure.
“You want my stash, you can have it. I left everything I plundered in the Crow Nebula Now all you have to do is find it.” These words called this crew together to find the hidden treasure in the nebula. This is the tale of the great Trader Calico.
”Captain’s log, right about now.”
The Calico has broken from its regular route to search for treasure. We’ve pieced together a map from old known smuggling routes and are going to be checking waypoints and landmarks, accounting for stellar drift. We’re officially third-line salvagers, barely tolerated by the Guild, and it’s up to us to make sure we don’t overstay our welcome. If this loot is what I think it is, the Guild’s laws would deem it contraband. We’ve slipped our moorings a few hours ago and are sweeping the Sigma-13 system first. Here’s hoping.”
The Calico has broken from its regular route to search for treasure. We’ve pieced together a map from old known smuggling routes and are going to be checking waypoints and landmarks, accounting for stellar drift. We’re officially third-line salvagers, barely tolerated by the Guild, and it’s up to us to make sure we don’t overstay our welcome. If this loot is what I think it is, the Guild’s laws would deem it contraband. We’ve slipped our moorings a few hours ago and are sweeping the Sigma-13 system first. Here’s hoping.”
The Calico’s crew knew where the stash was by simple deduction. An ancient Rheinland Cruiser, long since inert junk, had found new life as a landmark - and dependable hiding place. In days, the treasure would be theirs and they could retire early, or so the hope went.
And so the Calico slipped her moorings, venturing out into the Crow Nebula on the adventure of a lifetime.
RE: The Disreputable Dunlin - Mr. Lime - 03-22-2024
Part II, Platinum Bonanza
The Calico stumbled upon pay dirt! Three weeks of grubbing in the Sigmas had finally turned up a decent haul. Now, the only problem was finding a buyer.
"Captain's log, now"
The loot wasn't exactly the gold and untraceable credit cards we were hoping for. What it ended up being was...
The loot wasn't exactly the gold and untraceable credit cards we were hoping for. What it ended up being was...
- Kemwer Munitions. Order equipment, mostly museum pieces these days.
- Volgograd Ordnance. Further dated equipment. Word is the Coalition stopped producing these, they seem to be collector's items.
- Experimental components of some kind. Whatever this came out of, our guys can't make sense of it. We're taking them to Liberty to have an expert look at them.
But then, something very interesting happened. A massive platinum rush in Galileo happened. It was a damn shame the Calico missed it all, only finding by chance an illicit industrial smelter in Colorado days after it had fallen silent. Every cloud had a silver, or in this case, platinum lining, because Lime and his friends immediately took it over, hired a small crew of refiners, and Lime started drawing up plans for something callled Redbelly.
But that's a tale for another time; the Calico had a hold of aging weaponry and no buyer in sight. But he had an idea.
RE: The Disreputable Dunlin - Mr. Lime - 03-25-2024
Part IIa, Surprise Guest
It started as phantom footfalls. Metallic footfalls. A voice nobody recognized calling out "Watanabe?" at odd hours. Laundry already being done before the poor sap pulling laundry duty had done it. The Calico was haunted, that could be the only explanation.
"Captain's log, breakfast"
We have a stowaway. As we have spent these last several weeks in deep space, just where we would have gotten one has been a major concern among the crew. As this is happening at a critical juncture at the Boulder move, we have no means of identifying who or what it is. I've ordered a complete sweep of-
We have a stowaway. As we have spent these last several weeks in deep space, just where we would have gotten one has been a major concern among the crew. As this is happening at a critical juncture at the Boulder move, we have no means of identifying who or what it is. I've ordered a complete sweep of-
"Take a look at this! We found our visitor!"
She would have been a perfectly normal Kusari woman, indeed sculpted to the perfect average, if not for the fact her bones were steel, and exposed for all to see. Unfortunately, none of the assembled spoke Kusari. That was okay, she wasn't speaking English. However, the Daumann firepower she kept waving at the crew as she stood between them and a large crate gave Lime pause more than the fact that she was something that should not be.
What must have clearly once been realistic simulacra of retinae glowed and the machine? Entity? Lady? Lady, spoke, in surprisingly Bretonian-accented English. "I must be returned to Captain Watanabe immediately." How much of the effect was genuine processing and how much of it was cheap theatrics was questionable. However, as the crew was currently acting the parts of slack-jawed imbeciles, they weren't likely to accede to her request on the spot.
Steel Gangster Idol "Ganmoru" would appear to be a surprisingly primitive model of artificial intelligence. Were one to pay it a visit with a logic probe, they would find that its emotion emulation was simply several pre-scripted acts of pique attached to deliberately screwed up self-preservation protocols. An emotionless drama queen, the years exposed to the Crow Nebula had not been kind to it. Bereft of the organic material usually used to regenerate its skin and muscles, as well as facing the harsh solar winds, any warranty Kishiro might have issued towards the hardware that made it tick would have long since been voided. Some Ageria bio-neural processors had found their way onto the machine, but as every other such device produced had failed to attain sapience, this one didn't either. It was unlikely that some inexplicable alien intelligence might rub off on it, or its automated maintenance protocols would get subverted by any broadcasted scrapcode from any artificial intelligence resulting in it somehow getting emotions. Oh no, such things couldn't possibly happen. This was reality, not some weird science fiction.
"So all I'm saying is that we have to find this guy, who probably doesn't want to be found, to return to him something he probably has forgotten about." "Do you want to get on that lady's bad side?" "Don't call it a lady. That's the product of a very lonely young man and access to fabricators."
"But she could be-" "No. No she couldn't. Ack, you got me doing it. Look, just because she's the closest thing to a woman we've seen in six weeks doesn't mean she is... one. This is going to get confusing."
"You disrespect me, I'll kick your ass." Why yes, she was right behind him.
Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru will be right back![[Image: tD55V8Q.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/tD55V8Q.gif)
Oh look, it's a trailer for some game.
Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru is back, hope you didn't go anywhere!
"Wow, that thing has horrible battery life." "Kick... kick... kick... error." "How long do you think she was out there? I feel bad for her." "Wait, that's your jacket she's wearing, is there something you'd like to share with the rest of us?" All eyes turned to Lime, mirth in his eyes. Upon closer inspection, it was indeed the guy's jacket she had clearly, ahem, borrowed. Not that there were too many formal occasions he would be attending, mind, but still. "Do we have a spare bunk?" "What? No, we should be getting her off this ship." "St-stay while, repair service, assist, threat display not needed." "With an argument like that, why not?" Lime wasn't a complete fool, but it was a damn shame he didn't have any friends in the Technocracy or even Kishiro to pry this odd specimen open. His crew was right, for the wrong reasons. She was too valuable to simply dispose of.
It was a strange sight to see the guy with his "kiss the cook" apron having been ejected from the kitchen. "She came in and said she could do it better." Dinner was still the same, ain't nobody who could make Synth Paste appealing. "Well, I guess we're keeping her." The night dissolved into good-natured laughter.
Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru
"I became the smuggling gang's housewife!?"
Directed by Mr. Lime.
Starring
Mr. Lime as Himself
Bob Uhsmith as Himself
Felix Brooks as Himself
and Introducing
Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru
"Stay tuned for the next installment of The Disreputable Dunlin, now starring me! The crew's platinum haul might hold a little more than they bargained for. Redbelly draws closer as the crew dances in the asteroids, will they succeed or were they set up to fail? Find out next week! Goodbye!"
RE: The Disreputable Dunlin - Mr. Lime - 03-26-2024
Part IIb, The New Girl
"Reddu-berry." "All right, she found my notes." "Who is this Redbelly guy anyway?" Lime shrugged. "It's not a guy, it's a project. If one of our new friends asks us what we're doing something for, we can say it's for Redbelly." "Why are you-" Lime pointed in the general direction of the very Kusari figure, still missing most of its bits. "We have to get her out of here or they'll think we brought her as an art exhibit to mock."
Speaking of those newfound friends, they were landing on the pressurized portion of Boulder as they spoke. Several of them had arrived on board and seemingly out of nowhere, out came the graffiti. That was definitely a card game being played, and several open flames popping up. Cobra's organized force, these were not.
Calico shoved off within the hour. For all their seeming laxity and recklessness, the Xenos took pride in their handiwork, and Mr. Lime was sure they could take it from there. Only time would tell whether this assessment would be correct. The comfortable thrum of the engines took ahold and the crew looked at the manifest Lime was holding. All the platinum they could carry was tucked away on board. It wasn't smuggling, but it felt like it.
Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru will be right back
![[Image: cBJ6ymo.png]](https://i.imgur.com/cBJ6ymo.png)
Closed captioning for Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru is brought to you by the Republican Provisional Assembly.
Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru is back, hope you didn't go anywhere!
A massively bandaged figure walked onto the bridge. "Please remove these, they impede my function." "We need something specialized to restore you, you'll be better before you know it." "I already know it." "This is going to be a long trip."
It sure was for them, but it almost felt like an instant before they had arrived to meet their buyer for the platinum. Regular tramp steamers had it so easy, Lime was looking for specific people. And this one wasn't even a shady buyer, this guy looked to represent a BMM contract needing platinum additive for something industrial and wanting to cut some corners. But it was a buyer, and near where they wanted to go anyway. Then came the fun part.
The Calico slipped past the Dublin blockade to purchase gold from yet another set of Lime's associates, these a little closer to who he was looking for.
Connacht was exactly what they expected: a bunch of dreary yet hopeful miners more than happy to give them a huge pile of gold. It was a damn shame practicality forced them to wear attire more suited for their employment and not anything leprechaun-related, but apart from that, the experience was perfect.
The Calico breezed out, her hold laden with gold. The gift shop had those tricorn hats, and Mr. Lime had put one on. It looked stupid, but he insisted it was neat. And so the disreputable Dunlin continued onwards, tramp steaming its way across the stars.
![[+]](/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png "[+]")
RedbellySteel Gangster Idol Ganmoru
"Uwa! Still no fanservice!"
Directed by Mr. Lime
Starring
Mr. Lime as Himself
Bob Uhsmith as Himself
Felix Brooks as Himself
Ganmoru as Herself
"They named this episode after me and I barely got any screentime! Hmph! Just wait until these bandages come off, which might happen in the next episode of Steel Gangster Idol Ganmoru! Bye, now!"
The Starfliers base wasn't the best place for a person such as Mr. Lime to be, but it would have to do. His associate, Mr. Cherry, landed, and they immediately began their discussions.
"Are you sure it's wise giving them this much? There's nothing stopping them from taking everything and pointing it right back at us." "I am running this project as I see fit, and your ass has been in that fighter too long. This is your chance to do some sit-down work and keep an ear open for something nice without going to look for it. I'm trying to give you opportunities."
The other man, Mr. Cherry, chuckled. "It has been a dry spell. I'll be there."
"Oh, and one more thing. You wouldn't know any plastic surgeons needing work, would you?" "Finally doing something about that, huh?" "Look, I wasn't going to tell him, but no. We found a humanoid robot, like all the way aggressively normal human robot. It needs a little TLC, we found it in some pretty bad shape. Or, well, I guess it found us." "You'll understand if I don't land on the Calico's bay anymore, right?" "She isn't that bad. A bit of a drama queen with a short temper and a shorter battery life, but the place is suddenly a lot nicer. Cleaner, that kind of deal." "You have a robot housewife? The stars will be painted red in your blood when she's through with you." "Oh, stop it."
Mr. Cherry was only slightly surprised to see a bandaged figure waving to him from atop the Calico. Well, Lime said he was good at what he did, and he had just lined up a new kickass desk job for him, so he was probably... "You do realize she's on top of your ship waving at me, right?" "Oh that's where she went." The Calico's engines died down, a wise decision, as the small bits floating in space were already starting to leave pockmarks on the parts of her not covered up, as well as tearing clean through the bandages. She climbed down and the airlock cycled. Whatever words were had then, Mr. Cherry did not hear them, he figured it would either be a rampage and he was in danger, or Lime would take care of it. Either way, he had an appointment to keep.
"What is this, Reservoir Mercenaries? Why can't they have names like normal people? Don't look at me, I'm a robot! Anyway, what will our gold fevered crew do next? Find out on the next episode of The Disreputable Dunlin! Bye now, for real!"