Synth Foods: Sirius-Wide Press Release

Synth Foods: Sirius-Wide Press Release - Printable Version

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Synth Foods: Sirius-Wide Press Release - Shazbot11 - 10-05-2009

Hello Sirius,

My name is William Cooper, Vice President of Synth Foods Incorporated.

It is understandable to say that the past months have been challenging times for Sirius. Business everywhere has been down, and with wars at our doorsteps we can feel that our pockets are getting lighter and lighter each day. If there is one thing we can all agree on, though, it's that we still need to put food on the table; and this, my friends, is why I am speaking to you today. Synth Foods has always been at the forefront of the food industry, providing our customers with quality products that just cannot be beat. We strive our best to develop your favorite culinary delights at affordable prices, so even though that new warship being built by the navy may hit your wallet hard, rest assured, our food won't.

Despite this recession, there is a glimmer of light: top economists have predicted a sharp turn-around for production and sales in Liberty businesses, and those of our neighbors. Synth Foods alone is showing an expected 58% increase in market shares and opportunities, an excellent time for investors to consider a change in books towards an industry that is always in demand. With such prospects open to us, we have decided to expand our operations to the borders and beyond; with new markets comes new opportunities, as everyone gets hungry eventually. For our dedicated customers we will provide a greater export rate at minimal prices, to thank you for sticking with us this far.
Now, what does this mean for you, the hardworking John's and Jane's of Sirius? Well, the good stuff will just keep getting better. You can expect to find more of your favorite Synth products stocked at your food distribution center of choice, with the same top quality you've come to expect. For those of you who've yet to discover the simple joys of Synth Foods, here's a little sampler of what we have to offer:

Synth Paste, our flagship product, propelled us to the top as Sirius' largest food manufacturing corporation: simple, shelf-stable, wholesome, these are what make Synth Paste so popular even decades after the first batch was produced. Nutritionists agree that three meals a day are needed to work at top performance, especially out there in the great beyond where every second counts. Synth Paste is perfect for those on the go, at work, and even in your own home. Our leading researchers work day in and day out to refine this already amazing product to enhance nutrition, vitamins, minerals, and all the things that keep you at 100%. Now, this wonder food may sound pricey but, rest assured, you don't need to be Joe Millionaire to get your hands on a pack of these. To cater to everyone's tastes, Synth Paste comes in over one hundred flavors; with classics like vanilla, chocolate, fruit medley, all the way to our signature collection with venison stew and orange-thyme, I guarantee there's a flavor you'll love.

For those with a discerning taste, Synth Foods is proud to offer its expanded line of luxury foods. Our agricultural centers on the immensely fertile world of Stuttgart have hit a record 315 million metric tons in production, and we invite you to share in this bounty. Utilizing age old, time-tested techniques, all of our organically-grown products are guaranteed to give you that taste of home-cooking that only Earth could have provided. All of our whole foods are harvested and processed on-site, to ensure that only the best of the best gets shipped to your front door. Our selection also caters to regional and local cuisine, ensuring that everyone gets a taste of their heritage or explores that of another: hearty Rheinland sauerbraten from prime-aged roast, classic Bretonian braised pheasant with a side of golden potatoes, exotic Kusari yanaqawa nabe in flavorful miso broth, or a good ol' fashioned Liberty half-pound bacon cheeseburger with peppercorn ranch dressing. These are just a few examples of food culture that Synth Foods wishes to offer you, and at reasonable prices that every would-be gourmet can attest to.

When food is a must and no exceptions can be made, Synth Foods provides a universal line of food rations to all customers in Sirius. Simple and fulfilling, each ration contains an individual meal designed to provide the optimum calorie intake for every individual with little mess and little fuss. Synth Foods rations go through intense testing to ensure that they remain edible even in the harshest conditions, making them perfect in an emergency pack or for long voyages. We offer both civilian and naval rations in bulk, ensuring that everyone gets some grub and leaves with a full stomach.

I could go on an on about everything Synth Foods has to offer, but the best way to learn is to experience it yourself. Those of you who are interested in joining this amazing team and help to feed the future, be sure visit our neural net site. For the rest of Sirius: the next time you're in your local market, take the time to browse through our selection of Synth Foods products. I guarantee you'll find something you like.

William Cooper
Vice President, Synth Foods Inc.