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Mr. Henry Edith Cole: - Printable Version

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Mr. Henry Edith Cole: - Zig - 12-31-2009

Incoming Transmission: Jack Alderney, captain of the Well-Heeled Achilles

Mr. Cole - may I call you Edith? Yes, I do believe I shall.

Listen here, Edith: you've made a rather amusing mistake. Assuming, that is, that your report of my transport's being taken out and my subsequent death at the hands of one of your bounty hunters, or escorts, or whatnot wasn't simply outright falsified, I have some rather disappointing news for you, I'm afraid -

the wrong person was bagged. I, myself - Jack Alderney, captain of the Junker transport "Well-Heeled Achilles" - spelled exactly as above - the man that robbed you of your cargo of Gold at gunpoint during our first and of five million credits during our second encounter - am still alive and kicking, and my transport was not harmed. As a matter of fact, my transport has -never- been destroyed - hell, I haven't even outfitted her with any escape pods - and I most certainly haven't even had anybody chasing that bounty of yours on my head come around yet. Sorry, buddy, I hate to bring your fantasy crashing down. Nobody's ever managed to lay a finger on me or on my ship.

Now, there're two main factors that I believe contributed to this unfortunate mix-up. Of course, it's possible that you simply told a lie about my dying in order to save face at your inability to have me caught, but let's be charitable and assume that that isn't the case. If so, an innocent man just died. Commendable, Edith.

Number one, the bounty you ordered out on my head repeatedly improperly gave the name of my transport. I command the "Well-Heeled Achilles". Spelled exactly as above. You first rendered that name as "Wheel-Heeled Achillies" - note the extra "h" and "i" - then later corrected this to "Well-Heeled Achillies", removing the excess "h", leaving the excess "i" in. Honestly, Edith, I take it you -must- have attended grade school, at least?

Number two, apparently, there's another pilot of some sort - allegedly a Rheinwehr fellow - floating around out there bearing a callsign very similar to the name of my transport. I've been contacted by two separate individuals, one a merchant, one whose profession I didn't verify, since I began business, both mistaking my "Well-Heeled Achilles" as being the vessel of this other individual bearing a similar callsign. Strange, as I was under the impression that I gave my transport rather a witty and original name, but there you have it.

Well, Edith, assuming, yet again, that you didn't simply tell a cockamamie story, here's what I assume happened: the other spacecraft titled similarly to my "Well-Heeled Achilles" was apprehended by some agent of yours, possibly further complicated by your patent inability, Edith, to correctly spell my transport's actual callsign.

At any rate, I, the man you intended the bounty for - the captain of the "Well-Heeled Achilles" and nothing else, I'll repeat it once more so even you, Edith, understand it - am, as of yet, -completely unharmed-. You'll have to reopen the bounty, and cancel the paycheck you intended to send out. Review whatever evidence you may have of the destruction of the spacecraft you believed to be mine - the "Well-Heeled Achilles" it certainly isn't.

Sorry, Edith, buddy. Have a good one, and you may want to think twice in future about ordering prices on the heads of persons you can't even -identify- correctly, let alone catch.

Jack Alderney.

Transmission Ended



//I pilot the Well-Heeled.Achilles - spelled exactly like that. I, as Jack Alderney, captain of the Well-Heeled.Achilles - spelled exactly like that - am the person that robbed you, once of your Gold, once of your credits, until you decided to issue this bounty. You failed to spell my character's name correctly twice, and, to further complicate the matter, apparently, there's somebody out there with a rather similar name to that of my character. You might have gotten that guy. Assuming you're not just lying, whoever you got taken down wasn't me, the guy you actually want. Like I said, the Well-Heeled.Achilles has never gone down, or even come close. In fact, I haven't even had anybody turn up trying to collect yet.

Let me make it extremely simple for you:

Zig = Well-Heeled.Achilles = the guy you want dead = hasn't been killed.

Well-Heeled.Achilles