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+--- Thread: The Story of Aidan Patrick (/showthread.php?tid=3775)
The Story of Aidan Patrick - DarkOddity - 09-08-2007
Well I am officially returning to Discovery as myself. My reason for this is I want to finish the story I started as Aidan Patrick and enjoy more roleplay fun. Here is the latest chapter to the story of Aidan Patrick. If you want to refresh on the previous parts of chapter 1, please visit my personal website at the link below. The entire first chapter is on one page for simplicity in reading. Enjoy, and please give me feedback when you have completed your read.
http://www.darkoddity.com/chap1.html
Chapter 1: Exile, Part V
The communications screen lit up, almost violently showing the face of Kristina Pryde, commander of the Black Pearl and respected member of the Ghosts of Rhazgriz, the most fearsome caste of Outcasts. "I apologize for the inconvenience, but I am going to decline your request, power down your weapons systems and prepare to be boarded." Kristina Pryde said sternly. Commander Payne's expression changed dramatically, he remembered his last run-in with the Black Pearl and the technology that it used to escape the wrath of the Aldebaran under the command of Aidan. Ross spoke up with no lapse in time after Pryde finished her demand, "We are not here to engage in hostilities, despite the appearance of the situation." Pryde laughed and followed up Izzy's comment with, "Well, next time you'll learn not to bring a combat ready flagship into our home." A moment later the communications screen flickered off and from the main viewport a deadly barrage of firepower lanced from the Black Pearl slamming against the seemingly unaffected shields of the Aldebaran. "No effect" an inexperienced deck hand shouter excitedly as he was cut off by the AI Cross, "Shield integrity is down to 40%" a few moments later another barrage of firepower was unleashed from the Black Pearl, this time a wing of fighters and shuttles followed in its wake as the Black Pearl adjusted to a more passive stance. "Shields depleted, hull integrity 80%, sensors jammed, targeting jammed, available options: Flee or Surrender."
The communication screen lit up once again, this time it wasn't Pryde, but another unrecognizable face who said, "Your ship is about to be boarded, any resistance will result in the destruction of your vessel and brutal deaths for all of your crew members." the screen dimmed and Isabel activated the ship wide communications, "We are being boarded, do not resist, lay down all arms, proceed with blackout protocol Javier-Ninety." Shortly after the command personnel all over the Aldebaran began stowing weapons, deleting files and destroying sensitive equipment. Payne spoke up, "They have too many fighters in the air, we can slip out in an escape pod and save ourselves to fight another day." Isabel agreed and they along with the rest of the bridge staff went to a specially designed escape pod. Sleek, fast, agile and extremely hard to detect on radar, and even harder to keep up with. Even in a fighter. Isabel made sure everyone safely boarded the pod before getting on herself. After the last member of the bridge crew boarded the pod, she stepped back and said, "Good luck." and slammed switch to close the airlock and eject the pod. She turned and ran towards the turbo lift to get to the hangar deck before the Black Pearls shuttles could dock.
Reaching the bridge and entering through the blast door she saw the lead shuttle touch down and its airlock open and lower a ramp. Several armed soldiers rushed down the ramp with weapons at the ready, Isabel knew what was about to happen. She knelt and put her hands behind her head as the soldiers exited the ship, shooting every single person on the hangar deck that looked like even the most minute threat. The leader spoke strongly into his headset, "All clear! Form up!" just as he did all the soldiers formed in a defensive stance around the shuttle as Kristina Pryde walked down the ramp. She did not seem threatened or even cautious, she walked fearless with confidence. Three other shuttles, troop transports, touched down and soldiers spewed out of them with incredible intensity. The commander of the first group spoke into his headset again, "Neutralize the vessel and terminate all threats." and the soldiers split through the multiple blast doors on the hangar deck as if they all knew exactly where they were going.
"You," Kristina spoke, "You're no Bounty Hunter! You're a Corsair!" she said with subtle shock. "No longer," Isabel spoke, "as with Aidan." Curious Kristina spoke, "Aidan Patrick? The Corsair who sent assistance for the Hispania project?" to which Isabel replied, "That is correct." Kristina made a hand motion and a pair of soldiers moved to either side of her and yanked her up off the ground from the submissive posture and took her inside the shuttle to a small holding cell in the back. Isabel was knocked out.
Three standard weeks later, Omicron Alpha, rendezvous coordinates, 1600 hours.
A small fleet of container transports drops out of cruise roughly ten kilometers from the rendezvous point, a concerned Aidan looking through the view port on the bridge of the lead transport. Where the Aldebaran should have been sat a small personal habitat. A small temporary solution for mid to long term stationary stays in space. The habitat had no hangar bay and was the size of a small freighter but designed for prolonged living. About a kilometer from the habitat a temporary satellite was guaranteed to have already of detected Aidan and his convoy. If anything bad was going to happen, it would be within the next few minutes. The small fleet of transports approached the habitat and formed a column about two kilometers away from the habitat and extended their boarding platforms in preparation for a 'wet dock'. Moments later an armored transport pulled up and sequentially emptied the crews from each transport leaving Aidan alone on the bridge of the primary transport.
No communications were received from the habitat and the response time was unusually slow considering a small fleet of transport ships entered outcast space. Just then a magnificent vessel came into visual range through the view port. The ship is the Ampoliros, a massive outcast Dreadnought, only rivaled in size by the Zoners fabled Dreadnought. "This is Bernard Fokke of the Ghosts of Rhazgriz." a seemingly familiar face said over audio comm channels. "To whom do I have the pleasure of thanking for the massive bounty we have here?" he asked. "Me," Aidan answered, "my name is Aidan Patrick and I come with gifts to assist with the Hispania project; and, hopefully I will receive someone very dear to me in return." Bernard spoke again, "I'll rest your worries now, and she is fine. I will be sending a shuttle over to you. We will meet on the habitat. She is waiting for us there. She also spent the last three weeks convincing us that the plans you are following through with now are real. I am glad to see our faith in her was not misplaced." with that the link was broken and the shuttle that had departed a few minutes earlier was in the process of mooring with the transport.
Aboard the habitat Aidan and Isabel became reacquainted with each other with a firm hug. Bernard interrupted the lovers re-unification, "I'm just going to cut to the chase as I have other duties that I need to tend to. The Outcasts are prepared to offer you sanctuary in exchange for your services. You see, we need someone who is known for more than being an Outcast, someone with connections in places that we cannot reach. We need to get the Hispania project in full motion but we are missing key ingredients in our little formula. Will you assist us with this in exchange for sanctuary from your Corsair brethren?" Aidan looked at Bernard with a look like he had his mind set on it for the last few months. "Most definitely. Nothing would please me more than moving the Hispania project along. I've been waiting for an opportunity to do more than donate materials to the project. I do have one condition however. I want a ship, specifically one of your destroyers. I will cover the costs, but that is my only condition." Bernard inspected Aidan visually and commented, "Agreed, but you must swear that you will never use this vessel against us in our own home, no matter the circumstance." to which Aidan responded, "Agreed, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Several months later, Omicron Alpha, Planet Malta, 0800 hours.
"So," a deckhand said to Aidan, "what do you think of her?" Aidan inspected the destroyer from the outside. "She looks fantastic, is she space ready?" the deckhand laughed, "She is, she is.."
To Be Continued.....
The Story of Aidan Patrick - DarkOddity - 09-10-2007
Alright, I plan on releasing Chapter 2 Part I within the next day or two as a heads up.
Also, if anyone is interested in getting themselves/their character into the story, let me know. I would need a brief rundown on your characters mannerisms behaviors and history to do so however.
Finally, feedback is always welcome and accepted. Constructive Criticism is most welcome as well. The more I get, the better I can make my stories.
The Story of Aidan Patrick - McNeo - 09-11-2007
Well, since i forgot the whole story, I re-read the whole thing and it has a lot of depth in it. Things don't seem out of place like they may do in other stories, or unreal. It is a turbulent story of your character, which is excellent. Nothing too eccentric or unreal, which makes the story all the more believable.
There is nothing which could really be improved enough to make a difference to your story, though if you intend to post chapter II, or part of it, then make sure you don't leave out things that happened in your absence (if they tie in adequately to your story).
If you feel like putting Stuart into the story (or Mandy for that matter), feel free. Just make sure, if you include Stuart, that this happened before his emotional breakdown, which I am currently writing.
Overall, great story so far, and it leaves enough to be imagined as well as described.
(As a tip, you may want to post all of the story in the Stories section where we wont comment, we will just read.)
The Story of Aidan Patrick - Death Shadow - 09-11-2007
OOC:
I like your stories
oh and maybe u could add Micah to be in your RP story (hes in very few currently) and I can PM u how he acts/behaves/thinks