+- Discovery Gaming Community (https://discoverygc.com/forums)
+-- Forum: Role-Playing (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Forum: Stories and Biographies (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=56)
+---- Forum: RP Stories Feedback Forum (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=29)
+---- Thread: A weird tale (/showthread.php?tid=52186)
A weird tale - Glis - 12-28-2010
Here's a link to the story.
And the feedback goes in this thread.
A weird tale - Jimothy - 12-28-2010
Was a bit of a handful to read, there seemed to be a slight lack of punctuation.
Once I got with the flow (And past the colour) it was a good read.
A weird tale - Ness - 12-28-2010
As Spirit said it was a bit hard to read but it was a great story no less, I liked it a lot.:)
A weird tale - Yaoquizque - 12-28-2010
Protip : You can avoid "Wall of text" syndrome by using the return carriage key.
Overall it's good.
There is enough details to add some dimension to the story.
One thing though. I think you're maybe neglecting the description part. Sipping some tea or checking neuralnet is not enough.
Keep up the good work.
A weird tale - NoxNoctisEra - 12-29-2010
its quite good. a better description like Yaoquizque mentioned would have been delightful. but over all, for the set up and presentation, was a very nice read. well done;)