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+---- Thread: Rent-a-Ban Co. (/showthread.php?tid=60425)
Rent-a-Ban Co. - The Joker - 05-26-2011
[SHUFFLING THE DECK OF CARDS]
![[Image: cardt.png]](http://img810.imageshack.us/img810/8163/cardt.png)
[font=Trebuchet Ms]
Are you irreversibly evil but weak and powerless with some money in your pocket?
[color=#33CC00]Are you a wealthy, schemey trader, sick of passing through some ugly system every day?
Are you a house official who has grown tired of greedy smugglers who secretly use your motherland's holes?
[color=#33CC00]Is there some trade lane, station, hole or a gate somewhere that simply bothers you?
Or are you simply bored and wanna see someone get banned beyond any hope?
Rent-a-Ban™ today!
In association with The Church of The Followers of Ban™ and Rule Violation Reports Division™, The Ministry has formed a brand new company -- Rent-a-Ban™Co.
For only 99,75 million credits or more, Rent-a-Ban™Co. will ban just about anything and anyone you wish, just for your own pleasure our dear customers! You just point the finger at some hole/gate/station, and we ban. Just dial 1-800-Ban and ban someone today! See? It's simple.
Use this channel only if you're interested party and let us talk about ban.
Each action of Ban will be properly documented for customer's viewing pleasure.
Banning of stations, holes and gates is charged per hour.
[color=#33CC00]If something unpredictable occurs, we reserve the right to a change of prices without announcing it first.
Are you irreversibly evil but weak and powerless with some money in your pocket?
[color=#33CC00]Are you a wealthy, schemey trader, sick of passing through some ugly system every day?
Are you a house official who has grown tired of greedy smugglers who secretly use your motherland's holes?
[color=#33CC00]Is there some trade lane, station, hole or a gate somewhere that simply bothers you?
Or are you simply bored and wanna see someone get banned beyond any hope?
Rent-a-Ban™ today!
In association with The Church of The Followers of Ban™ and Rule Violation Reports Division™, The Ministry has formed a brand new company -- Rent-a-Ban™Co.
For only 99,75 million credits or more, Rent-a-Ban™Co. will ban just about anything and anyone you wish, just for your own pleasure our dear customers! You just point the finger at some hole/gate/station, and we ban. Just dial 1-800-Ban and ban someone today! See? It's simple.
Use this channel only if you're interested party and let us talk about ban.
Each action of Ban will be properly documented for customer's viewing pleasure.
Banning of stations, holes and gates is charged per hour.
[color=#33CC00]If something unpredictable occurs, we reserve the right to a change of prices without announcing it first.
[THE JOKER CARD HAS BEEN DEALT]
Rent-a-Ban Co. - RockCrystal - 06-21-2011
---Incoming Transmission---
Sender ID: Billy Drycreek
Source ID: Unknown source, Colorado system - relay Baker-7-A
---Visual Disabled---
---Establishing Audio Link---
Heeheeeheeeee... HAHAHAHAHA!
I finally dun it! After YEARS of scratch tickets, I, Billy Drycreek, WON THA LOTTERY!
An I know jes what to do with the money, oh yeah...
Oh. This thing's on then? *coughs* ...Right.
Okay, Mistah Jokah? I got me a hunner' millun big ones here, and I want y'all to BAN... Rochester Station!
---Uploading Image File---
![[Image: 244px-Rochester.png]](http://discoverygc.com/wiki/images/thumb/1/1c/Rochester.png/244px-Rochester.png)
This BLOT on mah Lady Libberty is tha source of at least HALF mah troubles. It's swarmin with Junkahs and squintys and sniffers and I dun know what all! So I want this festering hive of whatsit BANNED fer a good hour or two, and I'll give y'all the moolah.
---Connection Lost---
---Connection Re-established---
Oh, one more thing... if ya see any of them [collectors], you go ahead and ban em extra hard, ya hear? Thems twice as bad as the usual run of Junkahs. I might even give y'all an extra bonus from my own lil nest egg if ya 'splode enough of em.
---Connection Lost---
Rent-a-Ban Co. - The Joker - 06-21-2011
[SHUFFLING THE DECK OF CARDS]
I was just about to close down this company due to lack of interested parties and now -[color=#33CC00]- would you look at that! Could it be real that we have a true believer among all those infidels? [color=#33CC00]Could it be real that there are Followers of Ban™ out of the ranks of The Ministry? Of Ban? The Ministry of Ban™, which operates in this galaxy? In this galaxy which we call Sirius and in which The Notion of Ban™ is everlasting?
Welcome to our little enterprise, mister Billy Drycreek. Please, take a seat. My secretary will get you something to drink although this is just a transmission and you're so far far away. We're very pleased to see our first customer of our respected Rent-a-Ban™ Co. And as our first, honorable customer you sure know how to pick a target, hehe. Nevertheless, we're here to fulfill your wish of Ban.
Rochester Station is strategically badly placed for us to be extremely effective. No doubt about it. We avoid venturing into Liberty 'cause it lacks so much style. Those pesky Navy/Police officers of low surely multiply in huge numbers. Be that as it may, we shall try to Ban and if we don't succeed, we shall try again and we'll keep trying until we succeed in trying. This sounded kinda complicated. Excuse my non-present mind.
We cannot tell you when this action of Ban will take a place due to security reasons. But trust me, when it happens and it will happen soon, you shall know and you shall rejoice. We used to have a lovely relations with Junker Congress until that weak Jackie Crow sold us out to President David Hale's puny demands. Since then we're Banning Junkers on every chance we get. Although many Junkers, including those Collectors you mentioned, didn't do us any harm, I see no reason for them NOT to pay for having mr. Crow as their highest representative.
Before I venture into my land of Evil Plans, let me just quote one of the passages from The Book of Sanctions, 15:16.
"He walked at ease on the pathways of long acclaimed trade-lanes without a worry in the world. Lines and lines of believers followed his every word for he yielded The Hammer of Ban™ in his glowing white-glowed hands. Cloud of amazement obscured those who were present. For fifteen weeks and six days they all danced around The Ancient Clown-God of Ban for he descended from 1000k above only to please his flock."
Welcome to our little enterprise, mister Billy Drycreek. Please, take a seat. My secretary will get you something to drink although this is just a transmission and you're so far far away. We're very pleased to see our first customer of our respected Rent-a-Ban™ Co. And as our first, honorable customer you sure know how to pick a target, hehe. Nevertheless, we're here to fulfill your wish of Ban.
Rochester Station is strategically badly placed for us to be extremely effective. No doubt about it. We avoid venturing into Liberty 'cause it lacks so much style. Those pesky Navy/Police officers of low surely multiply in huge numbers. Be that as it may, we shall try to Ban and if we don't succeed, we shall try again and we'll keep trying until we succeed in trying. This sounded kinda complicated. Excuse my non-present mind.
We cannot tell you when this action of Ban will take a place due to security reasons. But trust me, when it happens and it will happen soon, you shall know and you shall rejoice. We used to have a lovely relations with Junker Congress until that weak Jackie Crow sold us out to President David Hale's puny demands. Since then we're Banning Junkers on every chance we get. Although many Junkers, including those Collectors you mentioned, didn't do us any harm, I see no reason for them NOT to pay for having mr. Crow as their highest representative.
Before I venture into my land of Evil Plans, let me just quote one of the passages from The Book of Sanctions, 15:16.
"He walked at ease on the pathways of long acclaimed trade-lanes without a worry in the world. Lines and lines of believers followed his every word for he yielded The Hammer of Ban™ in his glowing white-glowed hands. Cloud of amazement obscured those who were present. For fifteen weeks and six days they all danced around The Ancient Clown-God of Ban for he descended from 1000k above only to please his flock."
[THE JOKER CARD HAS BEEN DEALT]