To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Printable Version

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Printable Version

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To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Fat.Igor - 11-26-2011

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< Transmission initiated >
< Comm ID: Dubstep - The Sound of Guns >

Hello there! I presume that person gave me the right contact .... miss Natalie Callahan, yes? Should be right, let me check. Yep, says right here, so it should be right. I swear if that guy gave me the wrong contact, oh man, Im gonna pick some flowers for him.

Oh, right, this thing is on. Aaaanyway, hello there miss Callahan! You dont know me probably, well maybe you do know me by some weird cosmic anomaly which made us cross paths in some other universe where we did some nasty things, errr .... lets just stick to the "You dont know me" version. So yeah, the name is Dubstep m'lady, and you see, I have a few problems. Problems that, some people assure me, you can solve! Which is good really, its quite hard to get a hold of you! So lets get to the point, shall we?

You see, I stirred up some trouble and now Im, well, in trouble it seems. You see, they call me a Hacker, and I got their guns blablabla, but Im not really a Hacker per say, well, you could say I hack into peoples lives and bring them a ray of sunshine! But no, really, that aint true. Anyway, I made the Lane Hackers mad, I made the Vagrants mad, and you know why? No really, do you know why? Because I dont. Anyway, I shot them up a few times, killed some, spared some, you catch my drift. So yeah, I presume they're gonna ask for my shiny guns, which I got from them. So you see, this is where my problems start! I cant kill people without guns! And I cant fly without guns! Which means, I cant live without these precious guns, namely the Hellflurries!

This, is where you come in. The people that were alive long enough to tell me of you, assured me you could help me with this! Of course, I didnt come empty handed, because no guest should! Presents are nice, so I got some for you! You see, let me show you, I got some blood stained ship wrecks here. Outcasts, which I really dont like all that much either, Navy blokes, errrr what else, oh yeah some more Navy blokes, and yeah you get my drift.

Oh, I should also probably mention that I helped some Hellfire boys today. Yeah, was quite the brawl, they were shooting up some Navy types, or something, dunno. So yeah, just thought that I should mention that, you know, for no particular reason whatsoever, errr ... yeah!

Soooo, m'lady, I hope we could come to some kind of a, what do they call it .... oh yeah, mutual agreement. That means the agreement benefits us both, right? Yeah it does, just checking. So yeah, call me back m'lady .... err, that sounded wrong didnt it? Nah, why would it sound wrong, ok yeah no it was alright! Ok time for some music, you get my point!

P.S. I could also use a place to crash, yknow. Please please please pleaaseeeee dont understand that in the wrong way!

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< transmission terminated >

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Blighter - 11-26-2011

[font=Microsoft Sans Serif]
Why hello there budda. I caught a little bit of this and that regarding you, some rumors here and there. Nothing too bad, mostly entertaining things.

[color=#99BBCC]I can provide you with some safe havens and otherwise, can recommend some places, that kind of thing. I can even arrange for shooters and the like if necessary. Come to think of it, I like that "present" of yours, really do. Makes you look like a pretty chill guy who knows how things are done and how best to conduct business, and I can appreciate that.

I say haul your behind to America Base in Vespucci. Don't mind the Legion fellows there, I'll arrange for free passage. You'll get your Hellflurries replaced with ones that can't be tracked and that way you can stay a merry man with your fancy shooters, so you can keep going with the flow. For your future crashing needs, there's a couple ships belonging to my personal fleet moving things from here and there, so I'm pretty sure that regardless of where you end up, you'll have a nice place to crash at for a night or a couple. Else, I suggest you keep a low profile after pulling your stunts and quietly pay Rochester a visit. As long as you don't get caught in the middle of being nasty by the locals, nobody's going to mind another "businessman" sticking around. If you need a safer retreat a tad further away, Allentown in Pennsylvania's your spot. And if the defecation hits the oscillation real bad, you'll get some limited clearance to crash on America, provided you don't get followed by anyone, else the Ravager will, well, ravage you.

What I ask in return is that you get me another little present. I'd like a baker's dozen of explosions of various Outcasts or members of the Blue Man Group, courtesy of your adorable self. And stick to working here or there with those Legion folks, never know if there might not be any bigger business in store for you, provided they ever start trusting you. They don't like some particular kinds of "business" very much, really. You'll figure that out on your own in time anyway. Cheerio.

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Fat.Igor - 11-26-2011

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< Transmission initiated >
< Comm ID: Dubstep - The Sound of Guns >

AHA! So it was the right address. If that guy was still alive and well Id thank him, but hes off picking flowers at a happier place now. I swear, hippies these days.

Aaaaanyway, I dont really know what to say m'lady. No, really, I dont. My brain almost exploded from all this info! Well umm, thanks are in order! They are, arent they? Yeah, yeah Im right, of course Im right. So yeah, thanks, thanks a bunch! I get guns, oh my what a jolly day!

And for all that other info and stuff, man there really was a lot wasnt there, no really ... yeah umm where was I, oh yeah thanks for that too! And dont you worry about those Outcasts and, err, that other group you mentioned, yeah that one, you remember? Yeah that one, I'll take care of them and let you know when I do!

Well I guess thats all, toodles! Oh and do enjoy the rest of this colorful - dark - lighty evening!

P.S. I heard Rochester stinks so Im gonna have to take deodorant. You think the Hellfire boys have any? Oh how would you know, yeah. Yeah I'll just ask them, right? Yeah thats a good idea.

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< transmission terminated >

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Fat.Igor - 11-30-2011

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< Transmission initiated >
< Comm ID: Dubstep - The Sound of Guns >

Hello again Miss Callahan! You remember me dont you? Yeah you should ... no really, you remember? Ok lets just assume you remember.

Anyway, maan, those Legion fellas sure were nice! They gave me neat guns, and the deodorant I asked for since I was going to that smelly Rochester, aaaand a lot of goodies. Oh and, by the way, theres one guy there that kept looking at me like, all the time. No really, all the time. I swear I thought I was gonna get abducted in the darkness and raped. No, really, I did! Anyway dunno what the hell is wrong with that chap, he just keeps nodding his head like its a freakin baseball bat and hes tryin to hit a home run. No really, that guy was nuts, you gotta believe me! Real friendly though, in the rapist-dark kinda way!

Anyway yeah, I used your ships a few times as well, y'know, just to get some rest and that kind of stuff. You sure have some pretty ladies on board there! Oh and, I think I left my headphones on one of them, so if you find those mind sending them back to me, or at least telling me which ship it is?! No really, could you?

Now err, oh right, you mentioned you wanted some people dead! Ok well yeah, your wishes are the beat of my music m'lady! Since Im quite friendly, it wasnt hard to find enemies ... wait, err that didnt sound right. Aaaanyawy, the pictures!

You'll find some Outcasts, various smelly Pirates, Bounty Hunters, which is basically the same as smelly Pirates, some Liberty Security Force, which arent feeling that secure themselves let alone securing something else! Oh and yeah, some Navy as well. I was trying to find members of the Primary Fleet, but I swear, its imposiburru. They never show up, never! No, really, they actually never show up! You'll also find one of those LRF members. Now I honestly dont know what they do, nor do I know how you feel about them, nor do I even care, I just shot him because he kept yapping on about some really REALLY boring stuff in the System wide comms. No really, he was soooooo boring I just couldnt stand it anymore!

Oh and yeah, I was flying with some of the Hellfire Boys again last night! Some big bad stupid battleships were bothering my homie I.Crashed and myself so that big bad Hellfire ship came to help us with some escorts. Uhh what was its name ... err, Teddy Bear? No no wait, thats not right, errr ... OH YEAH! The Vengie GEE GEE. Yeah thats the one! Anyway the navy boys got roasted an' stuff. So yeah, thats about it, if you got any more work for me let me know!

Toodles m'Lady!

P.S. I also left some of my music files on one of your ships. Im tellin you, the crew on some of those really know how to party! So yeah, err, mind telling me if you find those files along with the headphones? Please? Pleeeaaaaseeee? No really, please?

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< transmission terminated >

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Blighter - 11-30-2011

[font=Microsoft Sans Serif]
I'm gone for but a couple months and then I come home only to find that my bitch of a fiancÃ©e left me of all damn people some retarded paperwork to do.

[color=#990022]UNFORTUNATELY that includes dealing with you and that's not so freakin' nice because I'm pissed-off. It's oh so really great that you and her had such a nice, and adorable and totally lovely agreement.

It's also just plain wonderful that you went out and committed various randomized acts of violence and slaughter. No really, it is, my only regret being that I couldn't partake in those.

But what's annoying me is that I just had to figure out where your freakin' files and headphones are because you-know-who left me a note saying that I should bloody find them because oh you know you're apparently a cool amigo or something.

Lucky for you I found all that crap.

Unlucky for you I ain't giving it back until you've slaughtered me another dozen random blistering idiots of the Blue Man Group or the Outcasts or whatever the hell you feel like slaughtering today.

Direct your complaints to my adorable fiancÃ©e next time you see her and get started murdering things before my temper gets the better of me.

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Fat.Igor - 11-30-2011

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< Transmission initiated >
< Comm ID: Dubstep - The Sound of Guns >

Hello there clever, yet freakishly friendly-aggressive Miss!

Ok well, your fiancÃ©e? Ok, damn. So like, how does that work out? No like, how do you, you know like, YOU KNOW. Ok maybe you dont know, you know? Ok.

Ok so where was I, aha Im here! Or there, no, no Im pretty sure Im here. Ok well, slaughter. Nah, I didnt slaughter them Miss! I was just getting acquainted with the people in Liberty! Im quite friendly you see, I made a lot of friends! But I didnt keep them long, shame really!

Anyway yeah, I can do all that stuff for you! Its turning into a hobby of mine anyway! So yeah, what else did I wanna say ... hmm no, yeah thats it. Ok well, its been a tremendous pleasure you little nagging piece of ... oh wait no sorry, I was talking to my cat! I hate cats! So ye, later.

P.S. If you could deliver, along with the headphones and files, a mixtape explaining how you to do ... you know, how you do all that, YOU KNOW! Know what Im sayin? Ok cope.

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#33FF33]< transmission terminated >

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Fat.Igor - 12-08-2011

They say a picture says more than a thousand words. I always thought that was music, but no one asks me anything, so whatever!

P.S. Dont forget about the mixtape of you and your lady! What? Just sayin.

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Blighter - 12-10-2011

[font=Microsoft Sans Serif]
Well fine, fine, you can have your headphones back.

[color=#990022]But you're sure as hell not going to be getting a mixtape.

Maybe I can get you another mixtape though. Just maybe.

But that depends on how many other explosions you can create.

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Fat.Igor - 12-14-2011

Awww yeah, got my headphones back! Tell you what, I sure did miss them! They feel so soft, and vibrating, and and...some other stuff too!

Anyway, mixtapes, aha! Yeah, mixtapes, I like mixtapes, and if they include women, even better! So yeah, this should do, shouldnt it? Yeah it should, no really, it should. COME ON YOU CRAZY HAG! Errr, I mean sweet Princess.

P.S. I just wanted to write a P.S. yeah.

To: Miss Natalie Callahan - Blighter - 12-19-2011

[font=Microsoft Sans Serif]
You're not getting that particular mixtape you want.

[color=#990022]Not now.

Not ever.

Not even over my dead body.

But if you keep up the slaughter I might feel inclined to seriously get you another one, like, totally, really, seriously, si?

Unless if you don't stop asking about that special one.

I mean the one which doesn't even exist in the first place!