Original Feedback located here. Re-posted because of excessive old posts by myself. Less clutter this way.


Artwork done by Sandara of Deviantart

Foreword

Retribution was a work done by me during the desert. It's original form is in rough form because of this, but I'm currently going through each chapter and touching up the work and shortening it down for forum posts. This is to be done so people don't get bored with the story as it takes a long time. Most people just come here to read the occasional story post, not an entire book on a website. My original plan was to make it a single chapter, detailing the journey through Leo's adventures of trying to remember who he was. However, I grew to like the character I had created and I enjoyed writing the story as him. From that, different chapters emerged.

I know the original chapters are long, and I know the original Retribution posts themselves are a mammoth of a read, but good nonetheless, even in its shoddy form. I encourage everyone to take a look and see what you think, after all, it's the basis of everything I've written on Discovery from the first moment I registered nearly two years ago and even the name that I took on in OORP whilst on the forum.

So, please, take a look and tell me what you think of the overall story, new and old. Any help or views on the subject would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

~Leo

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[font=Georgia]PART ONE: Retribution

Retribution is the longest part of The Retribution Chronicles but the best read amongst them all. It details the start of the journey of the main character, Leo, and his escape from his captors, the ones who held him for so long, and the ones who took his life away from him. This is the trip of true Retribution, and his steps in doing so...however, at the end of the story, it leave one huge mystery behind. Who are the masterminds behind the program known only as Tainted...and where are they now?

Click here for story

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[font=Georgia]PART TWO: The Rise of Jacob Keller
Will be written after "Retribution" is finished. ETA: To Be Announced

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[font=Georgia]PART THREE: Memento Mori
Will be posted after "Retribution" and "The Rise of Jacob Keller" is finished. ETA: To Be Announced

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[font=Georgia]Stories No Longer Considered Canon to Retribution Series

Retribution Original Posts

Prologue
Chapter One: Through the Keyhole
Chapter Two: Tainted Dreams
Chapter Three: Ignition
Chapter Four: Brothers
Chapter Five: Sweet as Blood
Chapter Six: Rich as Flame
Epilouge: End Game

The Rise of Jacob Keller Original Post

The Rise of Jacob Keller