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Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 02-23-2013

[Image: sarah_braun-1.png]
"The worst feature of this double consciousness is, that the two lives, of the understanding and of the soul, which we lead, really show very little relation to each other; never meet and measure each other: one prevails now, all buzz and din; and the other prevails then, all infinitude and paradise; and, with the progress of life, the two discover no greater disposition to reconcile themselves."

Some things do never change. Apparently not even years in the Military can influence one's character. I can't help it. Even when I was just a child, my mother always called me an emancipated rebel, when I refused to behave like a 'lady'. Society sets specific expectations for one's gender, there's nothing one can do. I can remember how my dad laughed at me, when I told him that my dream is it to follow in his footsteps as military officer. I hated the distribution between the sexes. Misogyny, inequalities and harassment became an indispensable part of rheinland womans daily lives. The government denied the obvious. And looking away was a common behaviour amongst average people. "Don't question the Gottkanzler." Was the painful slogan. We went along with it - what else should we have done? I wasn't eager on being declared as enemy of state like the Bundschuh or other criminal organisations and protesters. I remained silent, but deep inside my hatred grew steadily. And my second face was kept revealed. Ever since I am living a double life.



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 02-23-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Saturday, the 23. February 820

Four years ago - when I was just 21 years old - I've started my practical course at Battleship Karlsruhe, which was my very first contact with the military. Already at that time, during my voluntary duty, I've joined women rights campaigners and activists. Besides I've even organised demonstrations and protest march on Planet Stuttgart. Those were the beginnings of directly establishing my future double life. There was none who was aware of both my sides at one time. It was my basic principle to keep it disguised. Never looking straight at someone - always showing just one half of my face. Nobody did ever took notice of it. Even my family and closest friends had no clue about the whole truth. Sometimes I played my role that well, that actually myself forgot it, too. It was lovely. At some point I couldn't miss my opposed lifes anymore. It was an addiction, expanding the gap between the sides. The risks, the adrenalin rushs - my rebellious nature needed it like one needs air to breath. More and more I became obsessed of it. Schizophrenia? Possibly. However, it remained my deepest secret. I've passed my practical training with colors and thus was accepted into the primary fleet of the Rheinwehr in 818 AS.


[Image: braun_military_training.png]



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 02-24-2013

Neural Net Archive - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal File:
Saturday, the 23. February 820

Original extract from the Rheinland Military application from 21. November 818 AS.

(11-21-2011, 02:51 AM)Narcotic Wrote: Name: Sarah Braun
Rank: Recruit

Age: 23
Height: 5,'5
Weight: 131
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Dark brown

Planet/Station of Origin: Planet Stuttgart, Stuttgart

Background Information:

Sarah Simone Braun, was born on 795 AS on Planet Stuttgart.

She grew up in a rich family as only child. Her parents, Marie Braun, working for Republican Shipping as secretary and Horst Braun, a strict Rheinland Military Officer, had a luxury mansion in the middle of the capital city of Planet Stuttgart. During the week, Sarah's parents were working all day, she rarely saw them in the evenings, too. Horst Braun was working outside Planet Stuttgart at Battleship Karlsruhe. Sometimes he loved his job more than her own daughter, and she knew that. Sometimes he even admits that he wished, he had a son. A strong man, like he is. Someone who'll become like him. Following in his footsteps.
That's like he always used to be. Sarah resigned herself to her fathers opinion.

She was a pretty young girl, people dismissed her often. People who didn't knew her. People who had a superficial view at her. Although, she never had a boyfriend. In fact, she hated most men she meet. She enjoyed playing with their feelings and hurting them. Living in a capital city made this development even worse. Sarah didn't wanted to learn a "womens job". At school, she'd often played football or other games against the boys, while the girls painted their faces and talked about who kissed who. Sarah was more a ruffian than a lady. Many people got misled by her natural beautiful appearance.

Her mother, Marie, was always proud of her daughters good marks in school. Maths, Physics and Sport were Sarah's favorite subjects. Marie always told her to not listen to her father. She said to her daughter, that she can become whatever she want, she just had to fight for it. And Sarah was such a "fighter". She never had any problems to assert herself. People avoided her when it comes to discussions, because it often happened, that everyone yields to her arguments, they knew, that it's useless to argue with her.

When she studied Maths and Sport at a excellent university outside of the capital town, she already thought about becoming a police officer or female soldier. People told her that she won't fit into there, not because of her behaviour, more because of her appearance. But those who were that brave to tell her, often got punched into their face after. She loved that element of surprise, to show someone her real being. And she hated to be seen as a naive and defenseless young women.

Sarah rarely talked much about herself, what was going on in her mind. She had a skeptical view on everything, nearly fanatic. She always thought twice on decisions and never did anything because her emotions told her to do so. She wasn't a cold-hearted women. Quite contrary she was fun-loving and bright. But if things get serious she changed into a cool thinking machine. "You would be a great actress!" Did her father said her once. "But you won't be able to get a job as a soldier. They won't even take you as secretary for the Military.". It made her sad, that he had no trust in her.

Soon, she came to the point, that she wanted to know the truth. "Will I be able to do that? Is it what I want?" In 816 AS Sarah successfully applied for a practical course at Battleship Karlsruhe. She has never been so satisfied when she saw her father's face, when she told him, that they accepted her for a pracitcal training of two years. "One-nil for me." She said to herself.

In the following two years, Sarah learned much about what the Military exactly does. She put a lot effort in it and she was convinced, that she's doing the right thing. In the first year, she had mostly theory lessons about ship mechanics, fighting tactics, politcal understanding, higher mathematics and sirius-wide diplomacy. Then in the second year, she made a excursion to Planet New Berlin for six month where she had a special spaceship training. Back in Stuttgart, she recieved her first own fighter ship. A Wraith - 90-ARKM-N45.

"Sarah, I must admit, that I'm suprised about how you developed in the last months. I don't know how to say it, but I feel kind of proud." This was the first time, her father compliment Sarah. Marie, her mother had a different view on that. She was worried about her. But Sarah was confident, that serving her homecountry was the best she can do. And even others shared that concern.

In 818 AS, Sarah finished her practical training, with excellent results. She was even with male trainees. And she was one of very few female trainees, who recieved a recommendation.

Finally, in late 818 AS, Sarah Braun applied for the Rheinland Militray.

Basic Personality Traits: pleasant, ambitious, skeptical, cautious, responsible, reliable

Ship Class: Fighter/Bomber - Wraith prefered.

Other: Full equipped/repped Wraith is already available.



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 02-24-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Sunday, the 24. February 820

Within the early months I've been convinced that I'd do well at the military. I had a great supervisor, Admiral Gunther Rall, who teached me everything. In fact, I've already met him before my duty - but that's another story to be told. However, I've quickly found my place at the Rheinwehr and I've received my first promotion to Gefreite already in one week. The high command had high expectations of me, and I did everything to fulfill my wish to reach a respectable rank. I've had nothing else in my mind, but doing patrols, defending the borders against libertonians, fighting rebels, escorting corporate trading vessels, guarding mining operations, handing out fines to embargo breakers, having combat trainings in Braunschweig and last but not least following the call into Texas. I was the perfect exemplar of an ongoing soldier. And I was soon rewarded with my second unrequested promotion to Feldwebel.

I was unutterable proud of myself. Motivated as I could lift Turtles. It appeard like there was nothing standing in my way to climb the career ladder still higher. I thought so. While I've tried my very best, getting everything out of me - I noticed that I'm going down. I blamed the retirement of the former Admiral, who was replaced by Admiral Joachim Landers, a man who didn't paid much attention to my restless potential. My last promotion request to Fähnrich remained unprocessed. Although I've fulfilled all the requirements, I was never given the deserved rank. Thus I fell into a silent depression. While I've continued my work, my second face seized the opportunity. I can't exactly say what happened with me, but there was a major change. I slowly dropped into the rheinland underworld. I've had contact with the Rheinländische Volksfreiheitpartei, a political activist organization who fought against the Rheinland government. Once I almost got cought in the act with them. It wasn't easy to find an excuse for that mistake, but it didn't harmed my frozen career somehow or other. Though, rheinland rebels weren't the only ones who have had shown interest in me. Even the Golden Chrysanthemums, a group of kusarian women, who are concerned with the rights of the severely oppressed women of Kusari, and see themselves as freedom fighters in the cause for equal rights, tried to seek contact with me. In the end I've been working as one of their rheinland representatives for quite a while now.

A year later, when much had changed, like the leadership change of Admiral Gunther Weissman, which showed how long I've already been part of the Rheinwehr, without anyone taking notice of my double life. Everything went well, until one day - the high command got alert about my rebellious behaviour. It was Vize Admiral Sittlingen, with whom I became acquainted with when he was still Lieutnant, who hit the final nail. He was responsible for my demotion to Gefreite, and revoked my Feldwebel rank, which I've been carrying 14 months. I knew that at that point, I wouldn't be able to gain a foothold at the Rheinwehr anymore. So I freely let my emotions come out, which I've been hiding deep inside me for over four years. It was a disaster. For them, my reliability was gone. And at the same day, I was disbanded from the Rheinland Military. I've sworn to return, either to take revenge or to resume my duty. But that can't be decided in near future. First I had a fight to win - against myself.


[Image: braun_hangar.png]



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 02-26-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Tuesday, the 26. February 820

My last few hours aboard the Moselle were quite exhausting. Since the instant dismissal came rather suprising, and forced me to leave my quarter earlier than I've planned, I didn't even had much time to bid farewell to the friends I've made there in my 15 months full time duty. Instead I've wrote a personal notice to my recent supervisor, where I've asked for his forgiveness. Although I didn't expected him to care much about it, I found it to be the minimum of respect I had left to offer.

Finally I've did my possibly last steps on the Moselle with mixed feelings, and left the almost empy hangar bays, which I've left so often in my Wraith before. Will it be the last time? I was close to tears when the Moselle was slowly disappearing out of visible range, and the public transport entered the jumphole to New Berlin. So much effort for nothing? First they occupied my life, and now they threw me out, having nothing left. Only time.


[Image: battleship_moselle.png]



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 02-27-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Wednesday, the 27. February 820

Stuttgart, sweet home. I couldn't bring it over the heart to tell my parents the whole truth. And explained them that I just wanted to take some time off work. Nonetheless, they were rather worried, as if they heard of the bad news already, but didn't told me by courtesy. I felt awful when I finally sat in my old playroom, watching the family portrait. I wondered how my younger cousin, Niklas was doing. He was like a small brother for me, since my parents took care of him at an age of three years. Did he ever recover from his terrible past? I can't say it - I haven't even talked with him about it, and the last time I've seen him was like three years ago. Somehow it was predictable, that once I'll return home - all those locked feelings are going to be released. Of course I couldn't move back into my room, it wasn't exactly what I needed right now. Instead I've rented an apartment in the capital town, like I had one during my student life. Freedom. Again, old memories return. I've got to find a new occupation at all costs, and if it's of a temporary nature only. Otherwise I'll go nuts.


[Image: brauns_family.png]



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 03-02-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Saturday, the 2. March 820

It's obvious that I'll have to find multiple part-time jobs in order to remain financially independant. So much about equal opportunities for women in Rheinland. I failed to maintain the apartment in Stuttgart, and haven't found a job in the capital town either. I'm desperated. It appears like being impossible to earn credits with lawful means at all... The other day I've seen a Synth Foods promotional stands at the food product market, where I've spend my last few credits on food. Since I've grown up in a rather rich family, I'm used to luxury food only, which became almost beyond price for me. When I've seen those Synth Foods emplyoees at the stand, coining money and advertising their artificial paste, I suffered a rage attack and wreak havoc on their stand. Hours later I was being under arrest for vandalism and bodily injury. Think positive. At least I had a free overnight stay and breakfast in the end. Later on, this incident brought me to the idea of contacting the Landwirtrechtbewegung, asking them for a job offer. There's no harm in trying.


[Image: stuttgart_biodome.png]



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 03-03-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Sunday, the 3. March 820

Yesterday evening I coincidentally came across a reportage about the Golden Chrysanthemums in Kusari. They're a terrorist group who consist of mainly women, who are fighting against the oppression of Kusari women. Being a rather rebelious organization, their aim is it to gain equal rights and freedom for everyone, and their long-range goal of the Establishment of a Matriarchy in Kusari. I was interested at once. And a hour later, I've sent a transmission to the 'sisterhood'. Again, I thought that there won't be a harm in trying.

As I'm recording this log, I've departed from Planet New Tokyo on my way to Ainu depot, where I shall meet their current 'Okasan'. How exciting. I hope they're friendlier as people see them. At least they're sharing similarities with me. Maybe they can even offer me a job proposal. And as long as I won't have to follow their 'tradtition'. Nun, I shall see.


[Image: sarah_braun_kusari.png]



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 03-09-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Sunday, the 9. March 820

The meeting in their Tea House was successful so far - I've been explaining them my situation in a few words, trying to draw their attention on the issues in Rheinland.

(03-05-2013, 03:09 PM)Narcotic Wrote: "Konnichiwa, sisters. Yes - you can call me Sarah if you please. I'm feeling honored that I was invited to your place to discuss a possible friendship or business relations. To get straight to the point, I'm finding myself in a similar situation like you - I'm somehow sharing the same point of view about freedom and equality, and therefore found it to be worth a try to seek contact with your both groups. I'm not aware of how much you're following the ongoings in Rheinland, or if you're currently planning any business there at all - but let me assure you, that not just the economic situation due to the war with Liberty suffers, but also the people of Rheinland in general. Especially the women, regarding my experience. I've been trying to gain a high position in the Rheinland Military for the last two years, but failed hardly. Just recently I was instantly dismissed due to my rebelious and radical behaviour which was caused by my strong belief. However, I'm not giving up, and therefore am now trying to get your help to bring a change into the Rheinland government's politics. Since you're probably the most experienced people in whole Sirius, concerning such issue, I found it more than logical to seek conversation with you first. Though, I'm not exactly sure of how such help could look like, and what you'd request in return."

Afterwards I had to return to Rheinland, since the Landwirtrechtbewegung has replied my transmission, offering me a possible job in their Biergarten. Wonderful. Of course I set course directly to Darmstadt Depot, making myself an image of that place first. Luckily nobody recognized the ex-Military in me, and I was able to move freely.

At the bar, I've met a friendly Hessian, named Rainer Suff, who offered me a drunken bet. The deal was, that if he'll win, I'd have to inform the Red Hessian Army about his extended 'vacations' from duty, and on the other hand, in case I'd have won - he promised me his Odin. I thought it to be a wise decision to agree on that bet. However, although I'm hard drinking, I failed hardly. That guy is a Schluckspecht! I've never seen such before. Normally I win most of the drinking contests... So, as agreed, I sent that transmission to the Red Hessian Army. Somehow ridiculous, but that was the deal after all.



RE: Sarah Braun's double life - Narcotic - 03-22-2013

Neural Net Log - Sarah Simone Braun

Personal Entry:
Friday, the 22. March 820

The last two weeks, I've spent within Kusari space, doing errands for the sisterhood. While I've earned their trust, I also gained a decent paycheck and 'beer money'. What I've often wasted at different bars all across Kusari, where I got to know interesting people. To be honest, I liked the kusarians, and their lifestyle. One could say that to a certain degree I even adapted to it within the last weeks. I even learned to communicate in their native language, at least simple expressions and phrases. However, I've rented an apartment in New Tokyom, since I couldn't stay at Ainu due to the passive influence of Cardamine threatening my health. Whatsoever, I enjoyed my new job of delivering messages I have to learn by heart, which are a too high risk of sending via transmissions. The first weeks were rather boring, and I bet that it was just a trial period - but today I'm even delivering important notifications to undercover account executives of the Golden Chrysanthemums. Quite exciting it was sometimes. But I'm good at it.


[Image: kusari_nightlife.png]