Aeon C'bal - Feedback

[Aeon C'bal]

After throwing a coin it was decided to introduce the real RP name as the official faction name.

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Aeon C'bal
Information - Collection - Recruitment - Feedback

[Aeon C'bal]

We have added a basic RP guide and some infos and adjusted the title for easing identification.

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Aeon C'bal
Information - Collection - Recruitment - Feedback

[Laz]

I like how original this faction is. I feel like there is a lot of room for RP potential. I favourite bit about it is the extra line break that was added, really shows attention to detail.
/sarcasm off

Please don't just copy an infocard and go "yep, this here is my faction".
(For those that are wondering, the picture is comparing the faction infopage to the infocard of Gammu)

Now with that main bit out of the way then, let's get onto some real feedback.

In Game Stuff:
If you are going for robot speech try and do things more complex than < > around words. At least twist your language up a little bit. I would also highly suggest using proper grammar and English. I am talking about correct punctuation, spelling, and all those things that make English such a loveable language. Here some extracts from one of our encounters:

[13.02.2018 00:23:24] Gammu|Sbatax: <human war shell detected>
[13.02.2018 00:24:10] Gammu|Sbatax: <supporting k'hara mind>

Now, even for two engagement lines, this is poor. And it got better.

[13.02.2018 00:27:46] Gammu|Sbatax: <k'hara mind successfully supported>

I don't think I need to explain why this needs some work. This entire thing was made worse by us being at the Freeport, but hey, that's just me. (As a side note, please follow the 10 seconds before shooting rule. I don't have a recording, but you started shooting seconds after your "supporting" line. This kind of minimalistic stuff is everywhere, and has happened at every single interaction between me and a Gammu| tagged ship. (I've been on Core, Zoners, & Order, and received this same treatment)

Forum stuff:
I've already reported that you ripped a good half of your page from the in game Gammu infocard, so let's not dwell on that.

While your formatting is a lot better now than when you started, it could still use a lot of work. If someone looks at this document without the Agency FB font, this is how the page looks. I think we should be able to agree on that this looks sh*t. The solution would be to setup fallback fonts.

I'd suggest shrinking down your font size for non-headings down to medium or 11. I'd suggest you start using pi tags and use indent tags where you can. I'd suggest using actual rep bars, we have bbcode for it now, or you can always get someone to make the graphics for you (rather than using the all the stuff of old Prime like you have done consistently).

I am also rather unkeen of the amount of stuff you ripped straight from PRIME. While I am aware you were once leader, that was years ago and many stuff has changed. Rather than repurposing old assets, go and make a new faction. This is just my opinion, but I am aware quite a few people share it.

This posts references that the AI shouldn't know about.

A few constructions of the Daam K'vosh have the function to store ancient information, known example: the human captured Valhalla-1. The assignment of the Gammuians is not to store ancient information, the Gammuian major functions are to secure a correct execution of specific Daam K'vosh systems and to document and archive new information, this must include the progress and evolution of Slomon K'hara. Another online design of us is known to you. It has started communication with Gammu a short time ago and is installed on a Daam K'vosh construction near the center of Sirius generally called the Shrine.

This entire segment is stuff you shouldn't know or isn't even established.

Valhalla 1 is an artificial structure constructed by the Daam-K'Vosh and placed in the mountains on Planet Manhattan. Discovered in 15 A.S. by a Liberty survey team, it is the most tightly guarded secret Liberty keeps, and the deciphering of its contents is responsible for the most impressive of human accomplishments since its discovery. From Jump Gates and Trade Lanes to Docking Rings, Ageira Technologies has turned the contents of Valhalla 1 into the foundation of modern human technology.

HassL's comments:

We are all here to have fun. People who see Disco as being a chore or a job baffle me. Yet as you say, we are here to have fun. I suggest making it so more parties enjoy RP'ing and interacting with you. It has been proven many times throughout Disco history that people tend to get salt at minimal RP PvP encounters.


See below for my comments on how you take feedback, but this the kind of response you have given me (and anyone who dared to disagree with you, like @Dino or @"Silverlight") whenever we have commented on your RP, faction, or overall attitude. I hope you see why this might be a problem, at least in the smallest way.

This was undeeded and misleading.

Ending notes:
I know for a fact you are going to see a lot of this as hostile or aggressive feedback under the principle it came from me. It's pretty common knowledge that me and @HassLHoFF™ don't exactly get along, but this doesn't change the fact that I, among many other people, think that this faction needs a lot of work before it is ready to even attempt officialdom, assuming that is your end goal.

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[HassLHoFF™]

Thank you for the feedback.
First, yes this faction is still far from applying for officialdom and I definitely agree with you on the infocard part it can be seen as a placeholder, or will be extended to the degree of the development of this faction.
Second, as being the original creator of PRIME, I felt the right using the template, edit it for my needs and the logo I once created for this faction aswell.


Regarding your RP feedback. I consider this an opinion within the start of RP development, this faction is moving closer towards creations of the Daam-K'vosh and accordingly RP this way. Though I already noticed some parts of the RP myself were silly and overthetop, but already has become to a better level. However, neglecting punctuation is supposed to be an element within RP, but we consider internally disuss the usage of it.

However, please don't just pick as it suits your feedback.

Code:

[13.02.2018 00:10:58] Rah'kshi: [:::Smells foreigners:::]
[13.02.2018 00:11:21] Rah'kshi: *yours* strange
[13.02.2018 00:11:32] Rah'kshi: *yours* non ~living~
[13.02.2018 00:11:41] Gammu|Sbatax: <K'hara design detected>
[13.02.2018 00:11:55] Gammu|Sbatax: <weapon system deactivated>
[13.02.2018 00:12:14] Rah'kshi: [:::posessing datas to hivemind:::]
[13.02.2018 00:12:23] Rah'kshi: *confusion*
[13.02.2018 00:13:33] Gammu|Sbatax: <executing peace pattern>
[13.02.2018 00:13:43] Rah'kshi: *ours* cant ~understand~
[13.02.2018 00:14:07] Rah'kshi: *ours* ~think~ object is abiotic
[13.02.2018 00:14:09] Gammu|Sbatax: <signaturing signs of support>
[13.02.2018 00:14:21] Gammu|Sbatax: <terminating Core vessels>
[13.02.2018 00:15:34] Rah'kshi: [:::thinks this is a metal asterioid due no sighn of living organisms inside of it:::]
[13.02.2018 00:15:38] Gammu|Sbatax: <releasing human bodies>
[13.02.2018 00:16:02] Rah'kshi: [:::human detected:::]
[13.02.2018 00:16:21] Rah'kshi: [:::human terminted:::]
[13.02.2018 00:16:24] Gammu|Sbatax: <awaiting K'hara mind to react>
[13.02.2018 00:16:57] Rah'kshi: [:::any attempts of interaction failed:::]
[13.02.2018 00:17:18] Rah'kshi: [:::classification: non living:::]
[13.02.2018 00:17:44] Gammu|Sbatax: <communication failed>
[13.02.2018 00:18:02] Rah'kshi: [:::returns to hive:::]
[13.02.2018 00:18:05] Gammu|Sbatax: <K'hara mind terminated released body::
[13.02.2018 00:18:28] Rah'kshi: //nice rp :P
[13.02.2018 00:19:00] Gammu|Sbatax: //you too
[13.02.2018 00:19:08] Rah'kshi: :)
[13.02.2018 00:19:34] Gammu|Sbatax: //interesting only communicating with movements and actions
[13.02.2018 00:20:46] The.Lone.Wanderer: Good boy. Go away.
[13.02.2018 00:21:18] Rah'kshi: *humans* cant ~escape~
[13.02.2018 00:21:35] Gammu|Sbatax: <observing k'hara>
[13.02.2018 00:21:42] Rah'kshi: //ye inrp i can only detect living organisms
[13.02.2018 00:21:50] Rah'kshi: //and youre entirely abiotic :P
[13.02.2018 00:22:45] Rah'kshi: *ours* will ~terminate~
[13.02.2018 00:22:50] Rah'kshi: *aggression*
[13.02.2018 00:23:25] Gammu|Sbatax: <human war shell detected>
[13.02.2018 00:23:26] The.Lone.Wanderer: Shooting me? Go ahead. Die.
[13.02.2018 00:24:11] Gammu|Sbatax: <supporting k'hara mind>
[13.02.2018 00:27:04] Rah'kshi: *satisfaction*
[13.02.2018 00:27:20] Gammu|Sbatax: <human war shell harmed>
[13.02.2018 00:27:47] Gammu|Sbatax: <k'hara mind successfully supported>
[13.02.2018 00:28:18] Rah'kshi: [:::wonders about strange interferences:::]

Overall, this wasn't a very bad encounter to be honest between the nomad indie and the AI. The present human lone.wanderer (is it you) didn't provide anything in regards of RP nor motivation to do RP with his minimalistic 2 lines. I'm not pretry sure in which vessel he exactly was, but overall it was certain that it wouldn't die against 2 snubs.

A few constructions of the Daam K'vosh have the function to store ancient information, known example: the human captured Valhalla-1. The assignment of the Gammuians is not to store ancient information, the Gammuian major functions are to secure a correct execution of specific Daam K'vosh systems and to document and archive new information, this must include the progress and evolution of Slomon K'hara. Another online design of us is known to you. It has started communication with Gammu a short time ago and is installed on a Daam K'vosh construction near the center of Sirius generally called the Shrine.

This entire segment is stuff you shouldn't know or isn't even established.

Valhalla 1 is an artificial structure constructed by the Daam-K'Vosh and placed in the mountains on Planet Manhattan. Discovered in 15 A.S. by a Liberty survey team, it is the most tightly guarded secret Liberty keeps, and the deciphering of its contents is responsible for the most impressive of human accomplishments since its discovery. From Jump Gates and Trade Lanes to Docking Rings, Ageira Technologies has turned the contents of Valhalla 1 into the foundation of modern human technology.

Agree with that, mentioning Valhalla 1 was a mistake and shouldn't be there. Thanks for pointing me to that.

HassL's comments:

We are all here to have fun. People who see Disco as being a chore or a job baffle me. Yet as you say, we are here to have fun. I suggest making it so more parties enjoy RP'ing and interacting with you. It has been proven many times throughout Disco history that people tend to get salt at minimal RP PvP encounters.


See below for my comments on how you take feedback, but this the kind of response you have given me (and anyone who dared to disagree with you, like @Dino or @"Silverlight") whenever we have commented on your RP, faction, or overall attitude. I hope you see why this might be a problem, at least in the smallest way.

This was undeeded and misleading.

Ending notes:
I know for a fact you are going to see a lot of this as hostile or aggressive feedback under the principle it came from me. It's pretty common knowledge that me and @HassLHoFF™ don't exactly get along, but this doesn't change the fact that I, among many other people, think that this faction needs a lot of work before it is ready to even attempt officialdom, assuming that is your end goal.

In some aspects your feedback is good, thanks for that.
However, with the last part you should stay to your words. You're misleading the whole point from discord. Your attitude was filled with provocation and for some reason people (you may know them better) picked it up. Just, because more people do that, don't signify the correctness of such acting nor even the position in regards of the discussion.

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[Laz]

Agree with that, mentioning Valhalla 1 was a mistake and shouldn't be there. Thanks for pointing me to that.

[23.02.2018 16:46:28] Gammu|D'Ara'Archa: "When the C'bal unlocks the heart of Valhalla one, restores the final key..."
[23.02.2018 16:46:47] Gammu|D'Ara'Archa: "...We will live, as Gods, as the maker intended.

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[Enkidu]

Agree with that, mentioning Valhalla 1 was a mistake and shouldn't be there. Thanks for pointing me to that.

[23.02.2018 16:46:28] Gammu|D'Ara'Archa: "When the C'bal unlocks the heart of Valhalla one, restores the final key..."
[23.02.2018 16:46:47] Gammu|D'Ara'Archa: "...We will live, as Gods, as the maker intended.

I'm personally working from the idea that the Gammu have all of the K'vosh sites pre-known to them, and are therefore trying to uphill-battle to obtain them (which is obviously ludicrously hard).

More fun that way. They're enigmatic aliens, normal rules regarding secrets don't apply to them as it's impossible to know what they do and don't already know from their origins. They might not know about how the sites have been put to use or anything about their present condition. Probably the actual term "Valhalla 1" needs to be changed as they wouldn't refer it to that - that's the designation the Liberty government gave the site.

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THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)

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["Jade Fire"]

Agree with that, mentioning Valhalla 1 was a mistake and shouldn't be there. Thanks for pointing me to that.

[23.02.2018 16:46:28] Gammu|D'Ara'Archa: "When the C'bal unlocks the heart of Valhalla one, restores the final key..."
[23.02.2018 16:46:47] Gammu|D'Ara'Archa: "...We will live, as Gods, as the maker intended.

I'm personally working from the idea that the Gammu have all of the K'vosh sites pre-known to them, and are therefore trying to uphill-battle to obtain them (which is obviously ludicrously hard).

More fun that way. They're enigmatic aliens, normal rules regarding secrets don't apply to them as it's impossible to know what they do and don't already know from their origins. They might not know about how the sites have been put to use or anything about their present condition. Probably the actual term "Valhalla 1" needs to be changed as they wouldn't refer it to that - that's the designation the Liberty government gave the site.

I highly doubt the K'Vosh would have left any information laying around that was this secret and well kept, never the less to a bunch of machines. Did you even ask Liberty officials if you could use Valhalla 1 in your RP or no?

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On Limited Leave

[Lucas]

Nice RP in Uncharted Kusari right now, but it was pretty hard for a non-english speaker like me to understand all of what you were saying.

I understand that you keep the speech on a "higher level", but try to lower it a bit so that dumb people like me get a chance to properly RP with you,too!

Good luck to the faction

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Last words are for fools who have not yet said enough.

[Enkidu]

I highly doubt the K'Vosh would have left any information laying around that was this secret and well kept, never the less to a bunch of machines. Did you even ask Liberty officials if you could use Valhalla 1 in your RP or no?

"A bunch of machines" isn't even our lore.


They'd be vaguely aware of the location of ambiguous K'vosh sites. There needs to be some kind of trace for events to happen and there to be faction objectives. I agree that calling it "Valhalla 1" needs to be excised but the intention was to avoid creating another vague AI faction without purpose and objective.

Also it's secret to humans. Whose to say what the K'vosh objectives were for the Gammu? That's our lore to craft.

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Separate reply:

As for shooting people at freeports, C'bal don't care about Human laws nor should they. It's doubtful they even understand the intention of such laws by being so vastly separate in nature and thought process.

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THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)

Information | Recruitment | Message Dump |
Feedback | Diplomatic channel

(Links pending redevelopment).