The only thing that really helped me is: find someone who is really good. Somehow make him spend 2 h with you one on one, just doing the basics of "how to move, aim, fire". I think 2 hours of training was worth more than almost 1 year of trying, just making the mistakes again and again, not even knowing how to do it correctly.
Something that is helpful: forget fighter combat, get agile bombers. They can dodge well enough (you survive) and they contribute to team fights by hitting heavy enemy targets. That's something you can do, because everything that is larger than a GB is easy to hit and one can train to hit GBs.
Doing this reduces the frustration of just dying fast, while doing nothing to the overall outcome of a fight.
