To: Administrators of Freeport 9; From NCC

[n00bl3t]

Hello again,

Seems like we spoke only hours ago. Distractions do prove useful though.

It is most unfortunate that your God is not the alcohol. I sometimes worship the alcohol God, but that's irrelevant. What is fortunate is that you mean no harm. It means we can get along with guns and violence and the whole war thing where you try and shoot me and I order an assassin to tie you up to a chair and slowly pierce your....well you get the point. You're peaceful, we're good.

I only have one question though. Who will maintain the altars? I have no regular cleaning staff and I tend to the cabbages almost all the time in the biodomes. That is, when I'm not being leadery and more Zonery. Will you be leaving someone from your church on The Nine? Or will the influx of pilgrims clean the altars? Because I quite like tending cabbages. And I don't quite like cleaning altars.

For equipment to be brought onboard this station, they will be scanned and tested. This may cause a few delays, but it's how we do things. The worry of bombs and the like. I can guarantee things won't get broken, but the testing is crude and might possibly cause insult to those who believe in your things because of the way things are handled.

Either way, I'm sure you'll respond. Or join me at the bar.


Long live The Nine!


-Mike Rotch.
Freeport 9 Administrator.
Zoner Extraordinaire.
Saviour of Sirius.
Better than you.

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Anything I say is not intended as offensive, and to try and deliberately misinterpret it as such would be an attempt at trolling via misrepresentation.

It's not a conspiracy, it's localised bias. They're not intelligent enough to form a conspiracy.