You're fucking hilarious, just so that you know. There's probably a party
or a dozen on Crete that could use comedians...just watch yourself or you
might get dragged into some...ah, brotherhood against your will. That
kind of thing has been spreading since I was last there, or so I hear.
But never let it be said that I never did you a favor, that's a great job
offering right there.
As for your demands/requests/what have you...how about no. You're
an insignificant gnat. You'll fail eventually...they all do.