CoF Mandate: Research of yo mama-class vehicles

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Concensus of the Confederation of Freeports - Writing Rights: Public

This page is publicly accessible, except for Golanski because he is mean.

Esteemed representants of the Ingenuus Research Group,

as you probably have noticed, a hyperspace anomaly has been spotted. Like a hyena. This spotted anomaly currently causes all of us to adjust our Jump Drives. We have noticed the inability to include ships of the transport category to include in a jump bubble. This has both advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that our Zoner Whales cannot be snatched by Nomads. This is good. Bad is however that those aliens still have weapons, and our Whales refuse to wear battleship armors. We also cannot use them for jump trading, which is why we have called all Whales back to Livadia for demontage. TAZ and IRG can now point their fingers at OSI and laugh, because the OSI ID does not allow the use of Carriers, while TAZ and IRG will now invest in the mass production of Aquilon-class carriers with jump drives.

Our experts, consisting out of a bunch good looking man in lab smocks, an indian IT specialist and a spazzing suitcase, have summed up the results of their research of the effects of this anomaly in the following words:

Jumpdrives are limited by core, not by cargo.
-Jumping- a ship is limited by cargo.
Liners, 5kers and medium-small transports are not jump-capable.

Snubs, freighters, caps and yo mama (with effort) are.

The Confederation of Freeports is now ordering the Ingenuus Research Group to relocate all available resources for the research on yo mama, both to decrease the amount of effort necessary to move yo mama around as well as to find the difference between yo mama and the Zoner Whale, as they weigh pretty much the same. If we can find out why yo mama is still able to be jumped out while the Zoner Whale isn't, we might find a way to ensure the Zoner Whale can be jumped out like yo mama.

Finn McCool, it is no secret you are, of all people of Sirius, the brightest head and also the one person who knows how to deal with yo mama. You are destinated to lead the research on yo mama, your experience and skill in handling yo mama will ensure success.

That is all.

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