hi id like to start maybe designing a fighter or something for the mod, but i have no idea what program to use or where to start, tips links and anything else on apostcard please
Well, the big thing is actually creating a model first. Before you go into the task of playing around with exporting the model for FL use, you should learn 3d modelling in general. By popular opinion the best 3d modelling program for game dev is Autodesk 3ds max. You should be able to find plenty of tutorials for it on various tutorial aggregating sites such as http://www.pixel2life.com/
Play around with it for starters. Once you have a decent grasp on modelling and texturing, we can start pointing you to the various export tools for FL.
Mh. 3DS may be best, but it's a beast of an application to use, not to mention hideously expensive. Milkshape's used for less complex models. It has a lot less options, but it's learning curve isn't as steep. If you're looking to get into complex modeling, I agree with Blodo, go with 3DSMax.
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Wings3d is a great no-frills modelling program, and so long as you can export to obj (which basically every 3d modelling program will do) you can get it into Freelancer generally without a hitch... Though the pipeline is longer due to the conversions and whatnot.
I am using Cinema 4D and satisfied with it. I think it have the most intuitive and user-friendly interface of all 3D programs. I tried 3DS Max since it is a standard for everything etc, but the user interface is a terrible nightmare, dunno if the guys at Autodesk were high when they designed it, but it is mess.
Milkshape is good only for finishing up the model and for import-export tasks, but for modeling it is very unsuitable.
In my opinion you should try at least 2-3 major programs, 3DS Max, Cinema 4D, Lightwave, Blender (it is free) and stick with the one you find most suitable for you.