Three days after she has spoken to him Rio Umeda enters his room, holding back an amused smile as she sees Captain Rascal sitting in his new combat uniform on his bed, his personal belongings in a sack next to him. "It seems you are quite sure that I will allow you to get back to your Nyx, Captain." She manages to let her voice sound strict and can't help but to chuckle as she sees him cringing in expection to get told that he has to stay another day or even longer. The device with the informations of him in her hand she takes seat at the only chair in the room, facing the nervous Captain. With a light smile Rio leans back and crossing her legs, giving a rather relaxed sight.
"Well Captain, you might be happy to hear that you can infact return to our fleet today. But, the nurses told me you were rather restless this past few days. Furthermore I was informed that you seemed to struggle with some things concerning your past and the loss of your arm. With that I, as the Director of our Medical Service, advise you to find one of our doctors you are willing to talk with. About what troubles you. And before you want to say you don't need it. For now this is an advice but, from the medical point of view it can happen that a flashback will catch you while fighting and a distracted pilot might soon enough be a dead pilot. And that is something that I won't allow as long as there are actions which could have been taken to prevent this from happening."
Rio gives him a moment to overthink what he heard before she continues. "But for now it lies within your decision if you want to take this action now or keep on like before for now with the knowledge that I will, if the Admirals inform me about incidents concerning you, make this decision for you. Still for now it is your choice."
James seems relieved by the news he can go back to duty. But seems a bit unsettled as to the fact he should speak about his past.
"I guess I can hardly hide what's going on inside my mind... And I already told you some of it last time you came to see me..."
He looks down grabs the bed's frame, starts to squeeze it, showing his insecurity to talk about his inner feelings, memories and giving up his self built armor around his inner self keeping him from breaking down by facing once more what he has gone through...
"I can't say it will be easy for me to speak about these things... If I had someone I could trust... Someone who wouldn't judge me on how I am and what my thoughts look like... Maybe I could..."
He stands up, takes his bag and want's to leave. But he stands there for a moment, turns to Rio.
"I can't explain it.... But somehow, you brought me back from where I was... From this dark place I can't find a name for... And for this I am more than grateful. I will need to think about that offer... Please, let me think about it for a day or two..."
Looking at Rio as he still thinks needing her approval to leave.
Rio nods on his words. "Well Captain, I just did my job, like you do yours. But hai, take some time with thinking remember that none of my doctors nor the nurses are allowed to say anything specific about our patients without the allowance of the concerning person."
She raises from the chair and walks towards him. "May the gods be with you on your flights Captain. I don't wish to see you in that state so soon again. Sayonara for now." With a small smile Rio passes him and leaves him behind, quite sure that he knows where he can find his Nyx. And for some reason being quite sure he will choose to speak with someone sooner than later, still that will be something time will show.
He walks off. As he heads to the hangar he still remembers how he got there.
He comes across Toolbox.
"Dude! You're out! Heading to your fighter? Well... You'll see, I did some awesome stuff with it, it's systems are..."
"Thank you Toolbox. You're doing a great job, I know that. Whatever you've done, You're the only one I trust concerning my bird."
"Just be carful out there..."
James nods and walks further to the hangar 5B.
As he walks further, All his memories come back, in reverse, from the latest to the first time he flew on his own. And as he reminisces the past he soon stands inside the hangar, facing his Nyx, standing there, All shining and clean, repaired from front to tail.
"There you are... Look at you... How... Beautiful..."
As if it's the first time they meet, He walks around it, touches it and speaks to it as if it's his most trusted friend.
"Let's go back to duty, what'dya say? Let's fly once more, you and me."
By the push of a button, he opens the cockpit lid, stores his bag behind his seat and steps inside. After checking the fuel, core levels and other settings out of pure habit, he takes out his datapad, connects it to the Nyxes on-bord computer. And sends out a quick report to the HC.
After that, he switches everything on, puts his helmet on, and makes clear he is good to go.
"Mission Control. This is Captain James Rascal. I am ready for takeoff. Do I have clearance?"
He already knows the answer and revs up the engines
"This is Mission Control. You are clear to go. Good to have you back Hellfire. Mission Control, over and out."
"Copy. Taking off. Rascal out."
And as the stars draw closer and closer, all his memories seem to vanish, because right now, he is back to his element.
First two patrols, first kill after his break.
James docks on Barrier Gate Station to have a drink.
"What's it gonna be, captain?" The bartender comes up to him while polishing a glass, he notices the dark glare in Rascal's eyes.
"Dunno... Give me something to calm my nerves..."
The bartender takes a bottle of some strange looking liquid, pours it into a shot and places it in front of James.
"That's gonna make you feel better... Rough day?"
"Not really... Just came out of a, let's call it a break..."
Rascal puts his left arm on the bar table.
"Oh, this kind of break... I see... Well, keep it up, boy. It's a good job your doing and ..." Start's to whisper "And those damn Outcast don't deserve any better..." The bartender looks up as 2 Outcast pilots enter the bar "Speaking of the devil..."
"Well, well, well... Look at that... A crayterian... And a captain that is!!!" *Laughs* "Hola, captain! What brings you here? Are the bars on your small home world not nice enough? Too few people to keep you company?" They walk up to where James is sitting
"Didn't your parents teach you to at least greet people who..." This was the words he was almost waiting for. In a quick and rather violent movement, he grabs one of the Outcasts by his neck, sweeps his legs and smashes his chin onto the bar before breaking one shoulder by a blow with his cybernetic arm, takes out his gun, points it at the second Outcast and speaks to the one he just broke the shoulder into tiny pieces.
"Don't you EVER, speak to me again, sniffer, Got it? GOT IT??!!"
He sees the standing outcast trying to grab his gun, points his on the head of the one he is still holding.
"Watch it buddy... One move and I repaint the bar with your friends brain... Better stand still and don't let anything regrettable happen..."
After saying this, he smashes the Outcasts head once more onto the bar and takes his leave.
The other one seems rather surprised by the sudden outburst and soon goes to pick up his friend.
James grabs his stuff, looks to the bartender, nods and goes back to his fighter and takes off to head back to Sabah.
It is quiet on Sabah Shipyard. The nightshift has begun. All fighters that have been assigned to the current patrols have left.
only a few people can be encountered in the hallways. Silence reigns inside the shipyard.
Silence, except for the room used as a gym for the personal.
Heavy blows can be heard coming from the corner where the heavy bag is mounted.
Left hook, right hook, straight left and right, elbows are thrown in random patterns by a restless and visibly unsettled James.
He already broke his pair of gloves and the bag starts to soften under his constant hitting.
He breathes hard, his right hand's knuckles are bloody, but he doesn't stop punching.
One of the technicians is passing in front of the room.
"Sir, You shouldn't overdo it... It's late and..."
He interrupts the technicians speech by walking up to him and ramming his fist into the wall beside him.
"DON'T tell me what I should do... It's too late? What is really too late is..." He suddenly stops speaking. "Just get outta here... I don't need any advices, any help or... Just leave me alone already..."
The technician doesn't insist and leaves the room.
After a while, James sinks to the ground. A headache has spread in his head and brings back the visions he had when he was in the intensive care unit. He forces himself to get up, takes his stuff and, almost stumbling to his room he sends a com to the medical center, his first time to directly ask for help.
"This is James Rascal... If there is still somebody awake... Please transmit this message to Dr. Umeda... I am ready now... I need help I guess, I need to talk..."
The workday has reached it's end again. Rascal is once more heading to the gym to blow off some steam. As he walks through the hallway, he sees Roger leaning against the wall beside the room.
"Guessed that much you'd show up here again."
"Oh... It's you Toolbox. Sorry, ain't got the head to talk..."
"I think I know what's going on in your brain... You know, I'm 20 years older than you. I've seen some wicked crap out there too..."
"You can't possibly know what I'm going thru!!! All that... Damn... All those memories I tried to put away for so long suddenly come back!!! I've lost..."
"Hey! Don't scream at me! I ain't your enemy! Hell! I'm your friend dude! As I was your dads friend. and I knew your mom too!"
Roger gives a huge slap in Rascals face and grabs him by his shoulders.
James is so surprised by that action that he completely stops moving and talking.
"And now take a hold of yourself. You think it's gonna do you any good to punch that bag there until your hands look like some deformed, swollen... things?... well... I mean your hand... Ahem... sorry..."
"Couldn't you find something more suiting than "thing"?
A slight smile appears on Rascals face.
"And you only came here to hit me and tell me I shouldn't rage on a poor heavy bag?"
Roger shoves his hands into his pockets and starts walking around in small circles.
"Hummmm.... Hm..... Hrmmmmm.... Dunno If I should tell you boy... Maybe... Okay... But for the moment keep it to yourself..."
Roger walks up closer to Rascal and starts to whisper.
"I found something while flying around some scrapyards. I took it into my personal hangar near New Hope... It's not ready yet, but It might become interesting once it's finished."
James lifts one of his eyebrows and suspects it to be something really weird knowing Roger's taste in art and other scrap sculptures.
"And? You came all the way to tell me that you found a relict or old piece of art lost in space?"
"Nope, not a sculpture. But let's get movin'. Gear up. We take my old repair ship. I need to show you what I mean."
What said is done and soon they are both heading to planet Pecos in the rust bucket of a repair ship. They enter the docking rings and head straight north from New Hope where a construction can be seen.
"Okay. Here we are. I never took you here, right?"
"Not that I remember at least."
They land and step out into the freezing cold air.
A snowstorm is coming up. They quickly enter through a metallic door into a dark but wide bunker-like hall.
"Watch your steps. I'm not the best when it comes to cleaning... Wait. let me switch on the lights."
Roger walks into a small room what appears to be the generator room and soon the lights go on. revealing a rather big object under a even bigger, dark sheet of fabric fixed to the chain of a crane, hiding something flat and streamline shaped.
James walks up to it and lifts a part of the fabric reveling a dirty and a bit damaged hull segment.
"What the hell did you get this in here for? If I'm not mistaken, it ressembles a BWX-F1A..."
Roger comes out of the room and grabs the crane remote and starts lifting the fabric.
"That's what it is, or rather, what it was. I dumped the outdated and rather unhealthy engine and cockpit components, replaced some stuff here and there..."
The crane did it's work and a not really finished Bayonet appears in front of the two men.
"Thing is... It's tech is not really what we would consider compatible with ours. I will have to update it's software and recalibrate everything. It's core is a bit old but should bring already ninety percent of it's initial output. That's at least something to work with I'd say."
"Should be about right. But is it flying yet?"
"Not yet, no... I still need to get some stuff to connect the controls to the rest of the ship. That might take a while."
Roger lets down the fabric and covers the ship again. He switches everything off and both return to the repair ship.
"I will fix it. And you gonna fly it. I will try to work something out. But once it's finished, and If you like it, you will have to deal with the High Command to get a clearance for it. Can't do much on that side."
They return to Sabah to drop off Rascal.
"Thanks Toolbox. Hope you'll get it finished, not like this other thing you had once..."
"Huh? Ah you mean the old Charon? Nah, that thing never got it's parts... and well... Whatever. See ya dude."
"Later."
After Roger brought him back, James heads to his room. This little escapade helped him to relax and forget a bit about everything. He soon goes to sleep.
James spends the following days at trying to sort out his thoughts and take some rest, as he requested it.
Mostly sitting in his darkened room, mumbling to himself, trying to focus on his memories and visions to fully understand them and deal with it by accepting that what happend cannot be changed no matter what he tries.
He sometimes flies over to Toolbox's hangar to help with the restauration of that old Bayonet, one of the rare things changing his mind and almost making him forget the everyday struggle and his vowe to avenge the ones who have fallen in front of his eyes and along with them, his mother.
Noises can be heard coming from the snowcovered hangar. Roger and James are both working on the start mechanisms of the BWX-F1.
"Okay, gimme the quick clamp and the plasma welder."
James does and then Roger mumbles to himself
"Okay, this goes here and that... Ah yes, here..."
"Got it?"
"I think so... I just connect the cables... Cables? Where in a wrench's name is that wire set?"
Roger walks around the ship, looks Under it and Inside the cockpit. James sees the wire set on the workbench, takes it and throws it at Roger.
"Reflex!"
Roger, surprised, almost misses it but ends up catching the cables. He goes back to the engine bay and connects the wires.
"Okay, That might do. Let's light it up! After you, captain Rascal. Start that thing!"
James climbs into the not yet finished cockpit and switches on the main unit and the power supply to the main engines.
Loud noises and black smoke come out of the turbines along with space dust and small asteroid remains. A few times, the engines spit some unusual large flames.
"Okay okay okay! Cut em'! Cut the engines!"
Yells Roger and moves his arms to signalize James to switch it off.
James tries it, but the controls do not respond. And as the turbines seem to heat up to critical temperatures, Roger rips out the wires from the power supply, causing the engines to stal and finaly coming to a full stop.
"I guess it's not as finished as we thought, huh?"
"Well... at least we know that the engines do run. But the cooling system seems busted and it did fry the engine kill switch..."
Rascal climbs out of the fighter and looks at the smoking and still glowing engines.
"And the thermal coating seems a little bit outdated too... Look how red it is there, there, and there... Could light me a smoke on it."
And so he does, joins Roger who just sat down on the floor, leaning against the hangar doors and sits down beside him.
"That's gonna take a while now."
"The night is Young, Toolbox! We have time.
"Yup."
"Yup."
And so they spend the night working on the unusual fighter.
With a deep, exhausted sigh Dr Umeda closes the last report she had to take care off. She raises from her chair and takes her used tea cup to bring it to the staff kitchen within the medical unit upon Sabah Shipyard, enjoying the sight of Planet Yuma. One of the older nurses enters the kitchen shortly after her, smiling as she notices the Kusarian woman who gazes at the home of their republic. "The sight is stunning as always Dr Umeda. I can only imagine how our people felt when they first saw this green jewel and discovered that it is suited to give us a new home...."
Her soft voice reminds Rio on her late grandmother, so talking with her gives both the feeling to regain the familiy both lost. Rio turns towards the person she call her first friend in her new home. Knowing that the daughter of her friend died years ago due to an illness that couldn't be cured.
"Hai, but I think our imagination will never really let us feel the same as back when our first pilots saw it. And I partly can under stand that some of the Gaians want Yuma to stay in her original state. But I think with wise settings we can co-exist with the original doshokubutsu. I mean flora and fauna. Fauna reminds me. Were there any messages for me? I think it was way too quiet this past few days and can only assume that my 'Do not interrupt me while working' was taken too serious."
The nurse looks with a questioning face at Rio. "But all nurses know already that if you don't want to distrubed messages for you will be given to you once you refill your teapot... OH! Dear heaven, we got a new nurse, she was set in charge for your contacts this past days! I can only imagine that she wasn't informed about this process since it only is used for you. Oh dear, I will immediatly if there were any notes for you Rio. This should be relatively easy and will only take some few minutes. I will lead them to your handheld communication device. Take care of yourself dear, you should also take some free days sooner or later."
Rio chuckles quietly and embraces the older woman. "That was no very subtil way to remind me of your holidays which start tomorrow Teresa-chan. I will see that I take some breaks, but for more than one day off I have too much I'd like to do or which falls into my responsibility. Enjoy your holidays."
"I will, I will. My grandchildren will spent some days with me, so resting might not be possible but family time is my private secret to regain the energy I need to help you in the best way I can." Teresa takes some steps back and smiles. "I will finish for today after I looked for messages directed at you. I might be old but I am a young granny! So my brain still works perfectly... My little brats of grandchilren called me senile, can you imagine that?" The woman laughs happily and waves before she leaves.
Rio holds back a smile and waves back before she starts to prepare another teapot. As she takes some deep breaths to focus on what she still needs to do the smell of her tea fills the kitchen. A quiet ping shows that Teresa finished her promise and send the messages regarding Rio towards the device. Quickly the doctor looks through them, making notes to those from the High Command and stopping as she sees a voice message. Raising one eyebrow as she reads the sender and playing it. The pants of the person before he starts speaking already give her an idea what might be the case, then he starts to speak.
"This is James Rascal... If there is still somebody awake... Please transmit this message to Dr. Umeda... I am ready now... I need help I guess, I need to talk..."
With a look at the date Rio grumbles something that something like this message should be handed to her even if she is busy, since a pilot left alone while having troubles with flashbacks and a possible posttrumatic stress disorder might do something overly dim-witted. Quickly she writes a message to the captain.
Medical appointment at Sabah Shipyard
Subject: You know why, captain
Date: ASAP
Time: Whenever you are ready
James is on his way back to Sabah after a short patrol flight when his PDA lights up and shows a message notification.
He sets his Nyx on autopilot and opens the message.
"Who is trying to contact me... Let's see... Oh, a personal message from Dr. Umeda."
He reads the message and soon arrives in com range of Sabah Shipyard.
"Sabah Shipyard, this is James Rascal coming from a short patrol. Requesting to dock."
"Sabah Shipyard here. Docking granted, Proceed to docking bay 1."
"Please notify Dr. Rio Umeda that I recieved her message and that I'm on my way to her office."
"Alright Captain. We are no messaging service, but we will notify her about your arrival."
James initiates the docking process, lands his Nyx on the hangar platform and while it moves to the hangar bay, opens the cockpit and gets ready to climb out. With a slight sigh and a bit nervous he speaks to himself.
"I swore I'd keep everything to myself... Is it really good I talk about that?... Hope It won't... Get me grounded or declared incapable for duty... Pffff... Whatever..."
The platform locks itself in place and James climbs out of his fighter.
After stepping out, he lights a cigarette and calmly heads for the hangar exit.
He walks through the hallways heading to the medical unit, and slowly he feels the headache again and his heartrate rises as he thinks about what he could say, what he will be able to answer to her questions.
This uneasy feeling gets stronger as he gets closer to the M.U.
He holds still for a moment, takes a brief rest leaning against the hallways wall, breaths in and mumbles to himself.
"Come on... Keep calm... Breath... Don't let it eat you... You can't keep your goals like this... Calm down..."
He pushes himself away from the wall and moves on to Rio's office.
As he reaches the door, his heartrate is at it's highest. He stands there, still and hesitating, trying to calm down, breathing deep and slow. He closes his eyes and as if he was guided by something else, finally steps forth and the door opens.