Garrett Jax woke up from a drunken stupor, sprawled out on a barroom table, in a puddle of drool. A woman with long black wavy hair lay passed out beside him, her hand still holding a near empty bottle of rum.
Both of them were naked.
What the hell just happened? He was in trouble, big time. He needed to grab the Murmillo and high tail it out of there. He reached for his Server Command Arm Band (SCAB) to beam himself back to the Temple before Mrs. Jax found out.
It was gone. Where was it? He searched both arms, the Corsair woman and the bar itself. It was nowhere to be found. Did he even bring it? He couldn't remember. He couldn't recall anything that happened that night. Oh, Mrs. Jax is going to be pissed.
He discovered his clothes swinging around a ceiling fan. He jumped up and down, trying to catch each article of clothing as it passed.
"Having fun, Garrett."
Oh crap! Garrett turned around to find his wife, decloaking, holding his SCAB device and a nasty little smirk.
Garrett panicked. "Honey, dear. This is not what it looks like." He took a glance at the naked Corsair woman still unconscious on the table. The poor thing was going to be a victim of Mrs. Jax's wrath. And then he would be next.
Mrs. Jax folded her arms. "Oh really? Enlighten me."
There was no help for it. Garrett decided to throw himself at his wife's mercy. He dropped down on his knees and begged for his life and the life of the Corsair woman. Mainly, his life.
"I'm so sorry, my love," Garrett cried. "I know this looks bad, but I don't remember any of it. I don't know who the woman is either. She just served me rum and the next thing I knew, I'm waking up naked."
"I know why you're naked," said Mrs. Jax, her tone, furious. "I know exactly what happened."
Garrett was afraid to ask. "You do?"
"Of course," she replied. "I realized you left your SCAB back at the Temple, so I beamed myself over to you, and guess what I discovered?"
"What?" Garrett shut his eyes and braced for impact.
"I discovered that you are the cheapest drunk I've ever met in my entire life."
"Huh?"
Mrs. Jax laughed. She called out to the woman at the table. "Hey Maria, you can get up now. We got him good."
Maria got up, apparently not drunk at all, and laughed hysterically. "Si, Senora Jax. The look on his face is priceless, no?"
Realizing he was the butt of some kind of joke, Garrett started getting mad. "Do you mind telling me what's going on, dear?"
After several moments, Mrs. Jax finally composed herself enough to talk. "Oh calm down Garrett. I beamed myself here shortly after you arrived. You had two drinks, passed out on the table and Maria and I decided to have a little fun."
"A little fun?"
"Yep. Maria got naked and I stripped you down and we waited until you woke up. You should have seen the look on your face?"
"Yeah, very funny," said Garrett, not amused. "Do you mind getting my clothes down?"
Mrs. Jax pushed a few buttons on his SCAB and instantly, both Maria and he were dressed.
Embarrassed, Garrett grabbed his SCAB away from a still laughing Mrs. Jax and tried to look mad. He had to admit, she got him pretty good. No wonder he loved her so much.
Suddenly, he remembered running across a Unione Corse ship in New York system some time ago. The nice captain had a sweet deal on a purple engine, Mrs. Jax's favorite color. She would love it as a present.
He gave Mrs. Jax a hug to show he wasn't still mad. "I've got to go for a bit, hon."
Mrs. Jax looked disappointed. "You're not coming home?"
"I will, but first I have to pick up a little present for you. You're going to love it."
Garrett Jax watched his wife's face brighten up. The corsair woman looked on, approvingly. He beamed his wife back to the Temple, sat down at the table and fished his personal tablet out of his pocket. He opened it up and typed out his message to the Unione Corse:
Dear Mortals of Gallia known as the Unione Corse,
I recall running into one of your ship captains in Liberty, several weeks ago. The good captain offered to sell me one of your ship engines, a purple one, I believe. I failed to make the scheduled appointment for reasons too complicated for your mortal minds to comprehend. Nevertheless, I can make myself available to test out your engines at a convenient time for you.
The cost of the engine was discussed and agreed upon. I have a different proposal in mind, however. In my possession, I have a garage filled with all kinds of Capital ships. You pick out the ship you wish to fly and I will load it up with an ordinance your allies will covet and your enemies will fear. I will give it an infinite power core in order to deal death in Admin like fashion. I might throw some other goodies upon it. I will even give you use of this ship for an entire week.
My wife is looking forward to her potential present and I am loathe to disappoint her. Please respond at your earliest convenience.
I am Commandant Matthieu Picard of the Unione Corse Armed Division. I will be the contact for the completion of this contract.
We regret that you were unable to make the rendezvous as scheduled, and we will not inquire further into why. Your updated offer will more than make up for the lost time, however. We are currently researching what vessel may best suit our needs, and will have a decision within the next day as to our selection.
As for the drop off itself, we believe it possible to make arrangment for transfer this weekend. Your communique indicates that the sooner this is accomplished the better, after all.
We wish to verify that the item we are to deliver is the same as previously requested, and that we are to take it to the same location. We will require directions if this is the case.
We will be able to make proper plans once these details are settled. The Unione Corse look forward to satisfying your order with all due haste.
Garrett Jax met his wife on the docking bay of the Temple of the Damned, excited to tell her the news. The Unione Corse representative, Commandant Matthieu Picard, finally got in touch with him about his potential present for Mrs. Jax. The only details needing ironing out, was where and when to meet these [UC] dealers to pick up the engine. Mrs. Jax was going to love it.
She greeted him a hug. "Okay, I've been waiting patiently, where's my present?" She clapped her hands excitedly.
Garrett flashed her a smirk. "You're going to have to be patient a little longer, dear. I need to schedule a time to meet the mortals. Maybe tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" cried Mrs. Jax, disappointed. Her lower lip protruded in a playful pout. " But I don't want to wait that long."
"Can't help it, dear," explained Garrett. "The mortals don't move around like you and I do, they move much slower."
"Why do you spend so much time around them?" she asked. "They are so...mortal."
"They amuse me."
"Well, anyways," Mrs. Jax continued. "What is this present you want to give me? After the automated coffee machine you brought home, I've doubted your abilities to bring me a suitable gift."
Feeling slightly irritated, Garrett asked, "What do you mean? That AI coffee maker, Cara, made wonderful coffee."
"What good is coffee when you feel like killing yourself every time you talk to her. I've never been so depressed."
Garrett threw his hands up in exasperation. There was no pleasing this woman. "Oh, I was going to pick out a pretty engine for your ship. This Unione Course captain suggested they could provide one for a price."
"Unione Corse? Who are they?"
Garrett sighed. Mrs Jax was starting to become slightly annoying. "The Unione Corse are a group of people in Gallia."
Mrs. Jax's eyes narrowed. "I thought you were going to tell those slimy Devs to delete Gallia."
Garrett quickly put his hand over his wife's mouth. "Shhh. I didn't say that. Don't ever say that out loud. There are billions of mortals living in Gallia. You want to start a mass panic?"
Mrs. Jax shrugged. "Whatever. Now that I know what my gift is, I want to go check it out myself."
Garrett looked surpised. "You do?"
"Of course, dear," said Mrs. Jax. "I love you, but you have a tendency to not give attention to details. You'd probably just buy the first engine they showed you."
"Well, what's wrong with that? As long as it looks nice."
Mrs. Jax scoffed. "You are such a male. Just make the arrangements with these engine dealing mortals from Gallia, and I'll meet with them."
"Yes dear," said Garrett, compliantly.
He grabbed his personal tablet and typed out a message to Commandant Matthieu Picard.
To the Mortal known as Commandant Matthieu Picard,
Greetings.
I am afraid I am not going to be able to meet with you personally. I got pulled away by forces that are way beyond your mortal mind's capability to comprehend.
In my stead, will be my wife, Mrs. Jax. She is not accustomed to dealing with mortals, so I ask you to be very careful around her. I'm sure that, as engine dealers go, you are a trustworthy bunch that would not try and take advantage of a woman. Trust me, she is very smart, and if she even picks up a whiff of deceit from you, she is liable to not only destroy you, but erase even the memories of your existence from off the records of humanity.
Other than that, she's quite lovely.
She will probably want to see every single engine you have in your stock, have them installed on her ship, and then repeat the process several more times and then never actually make a decision.
I'm so sorry for you.
I will encourage her to be expeditious and not waste your time. Tomorrow would work for her. She will notify you on an ultra top secret frequency (//SKYPE) of the exact time. I will have her meet you at Glieze Depot.
Respectfully,
Garrett Jax
P.S. Pay no attention to anything she might say about deleting Gallia. Those are just false rumors.
I will make the appropriate arrangments in expectation of your wife's arrival, then. Rest assured, we will retain the utmost discretion in our dealings with her.
As for our payment vessel, we have evaluated our options and decided upon the Colonial Republic's "Zephyr" Mk. II class carrier. Such a vessel would prove most useful to us in the Tau regions.