Buenos dias, Señores Médicos. *he's wearing a tight corset under his shirt for some reason - and is hardly breathing*
There are two issues we should solve. I'm sure you will not be happy to wake up one morning in your fancy research station and see our Sigma fleet under your windows. So better listen very carefully what I have to say.
Issue One: Pharmaceuticals delivery
Muchas gracias for delivering Pharmas to Crete. But, don't share your weed stash with my warship Capitanes again! Last time one of your two ships delivered Pharmas of Kusari origin. One of my Capitanes got too high (thanks to your sharing mood) and approved storing crates without translating declarations first. Now on my Viagra box it's written: バイアグラ処方!! And on my wife's birth control pills is this: けいこうひにんやく!!!
Do I have to say that my boobs are growing and my Senora is pregnant AGAIN!!?? Be very careful, Señores Médicos... This may happen never again... *tries to calm down*
Issue Two: Collaborating with enemies of Corsair Empire
We better never catch you doing this. One of your doctors was sneaking around Skiros with full load of some new Cardamine-like drugs. I was in good mood and I checked her papers before killing her right away. You are obviously cooperating with Bretonia in some strange way I do not understand. It's all OK if you are poisoning them, but any Cardamine-like stuff in our Empire is to be jettisoned and destroyed. I didn't send your Doctor to "visit" our Chilly Sausage factories this time. She was scared enough and I actually let her go. But I might be in a not so good mood next time. I better never catch you supplying Bretonnians, Rheinlanders, Core, Hessians... *spits*
Our diplomacy is mucho simple: Bring food - or become food. That would be medical supplies in your case, Señores Médicos. So make up your minds. We are paying well.
Do I have to remind you about our unbeatable offer of finest Artifacts whenever you are leaving Crete? I don't think so. I checked it already. You are our good customer. *now he's smiling*
*Pepe nods and reaches OFF button with his elegant hand*
Sender ID: ERS. Sarah Cryer Location: Atka Research Station, deep Sigmas Subject: Human Organs & Stabiline
Hey there!
I am ERS. Sarah Cryer, Director of R&D and Medical departments in Cryer Pharmaceuticals. I must say your new corset suits you well, but I would be a bit more careful if you want to breath and stay alive.
First of all, why do you even bought Kusarian Pharmaceuticals? You know well they only know how to make a good Hentai and anime. Cryer's pharma factories are in Colorado, so I guess you either bought some drugs or pills for dogs?!
About your warship Captain, he wanted to try our Marijuana and we had nothing against it, but we told him he should try it at home and not in space while Core was lurking around.
Issue number two. Cryer Pharmaceuticals is considered as Lawful entity in Rheinland, Bretonia, Kusari and Liberty so you should be a bit more happier we brought some pharmaceuticals to Crete. We are trying to stay lawful and of course we will have to help Bretonians and Rheinlanders, you know we are trying to make some money and everyone is happy. We of course won't help Rheinland Military, Police nor Bretonian Armed Forces and Police Authority against you, if you will stay away from our facilites, aka Atka and Cambridge Research Facility.
As far as I know, you hate Cardamine, we hate Cardamine, Colonies hate Cardamine and "stuff" you are talking about is "Stabiline". It's lawful version of Cardamine, which won't change user's DNA but can be used as Cardamine replacement. You should also know Outcasts are slavers and force slaves to get used to Cardamine, so we in Cryer gave them another chance to become normal people. Maybe you can't see it, but in fact Stabiline is something helping you a bit. Slaves forced to use Cardamine means they will have to use Cardamine and they will become new Maltese force. However Slaves using Stabiline can re-join their normal life and it means low number of new Outcasts. Capiche?
Oh by the way, we will gladly bring more Pharmaceuticals and Med-Stasis bands but we want something in return, except safety. We would love your help against Maltese forces and we will also gladly support you. Just inform us when and our security wings should join you.
Oh and please, do NOT buy pharmaceuticals from different companies. Pharmaceuticals made by Cryer are licensed and went through long period of experiments and tests on... Well you don't have to know everything.
PS: I would get rid of your "sexy" corset and use something to decrease your blood pressure. High risk of a heart-attack!
Gracias for your concern about my health. I already replaced my corset with boobs suspensors from your last delivery. *turns around happily - to show how handsome is he now*
We will be more careful about checking your deliveries next time. It will be easier if you never buy imported Pharmas in Kusari and deliver to Crete again - like invoices show you did last time. Nothing's wrong with your Pharmas, we just didn't translate descriptions. *mumbling about his boobs and losing chest hair*
Your joining forces offer made a grande impression on us, to be honest. We didn't see it coming. Our next raid to Alpha will show how serious were you about it. I'll let you know on time, so you can send some ships from Atka and rendezvous our Omicron fleet in Beta. And prepare your pilots for bloodbath, Senora Cryer.
In the meantime we will keep pirating any ship we see supplying enemy - deep in their territory. Just business... Nothing personal. And we will cover your ships bringing supplies for us - with pleasure. My capitanes claim your doctors and nurses look pretty nice. Is there some beauty elixir in development, you forgot to mention? We could use a drop of that here and there.
*Pepe nods and reaches OFF button with his elegant hairless hand*
Sender ID: ERS. Sarah Cryer Location: Atka Research Station, deep Sigmas Subject: Human Organs & Stabiline
Hey there again,
That's not how it's going to work, dear. We aren't normal traders, doctors and researchers. You attack or pirate us and you are on our list of not so friendly guys. I don't mind if you will attack or pirate our convoy while someone will be near, you know nobody needs to know about this little deal. So shortly, pirate us and become our enemy or leave us alone and we will give you support against Maltese warriors and pharmaceuticals. This is so called business in Cryer's world.
I'm not telling you how to do business in Cryer's world, where ever it is. I'm telling you about our piece of world. We can't seat and watch your ships supplying Bretonians or Rheinlanders, in case we see any. We can't let their cargo reach our enemies. I'd like to change our laws for your beautiful eyes, but I can't. *stares at you, but not in your eyes*
There, try again to understand this:
Code:
Laws of the Corsair Empire
III. Trading laws and regulations (articles 13 to 17)
13. Possession of the drugs Cardamine, Liquid Cardamine and NOX is forbidden. Possession of Blood Diamonds and Slaves are also forbidden. Those in possession of these commodities should be made to drop every unit or be executed. Confiscated commodities should be destroyed immediately, Slaves brought to the nearest Freeport or Junker base.
14. Transport of Tourists, VIPs, Passengers, Refugees, Slaves or Vacationers to Corsair bases (especially Planet Crete) is forbidden. Transports found bringing these cargoes in should be stopped, and sent out of Corsair territory or to offload their cargo on a nearby freeport. If the pilot refuses, Corsairs are authorized to destroy the offender, his ship and cargo.
15. Transport of Alien Artifacts throughout Sirius space is to be encouraged. Corsairs must not pirate allied, friendly or neutral vessels carrying a majority cargo of Alien Artifacts. (kos/hostiles should be destroyed)
16. Transport of Food Rations, Luxury Food, Synth Paste, Fertilizers, Pharmaceuticals or other useful materials to Corsair bases (especially Planet Crete) by allied, friendly or neutral vessels is to be encouraged.
Corsairs must not pirate transports bringing these goods to Corsair bases. (kos/hostiles should be destroyed)
16.b) Useful materials include but are not limited to raw or processed metals (including scrap metal), all types of fuel, vital supplies for space stations or battleships (Oxygen, Water, etc), ship components, electronic components, weapons or weapon components, ammo, consumer goods, etc. (kos/hostiles should be destroyed)
17. Piracy of Corsair, Hogosha, Farmers Alliance, Daumann Heavy Construction, Xenos, Gallic Royal Navy, or Samura vessels is forbidden.
17.a) Corsairs must not pirate or attack a neutral, friendly or allied vessel under the protection of another Corsair pilot.
17.b) Neutral transports or freighters passing through Corsair territory empty or with insignificant amounts of cargo may be taxed. It is recommended to impose a reasonable tax (starting from 500 000 SC but it may be raised if they show hostility or refuse to cooperate) and to encourage their pilots to trade with the Empire, either by bringing us useful commodities or buying artifacts
17.c) Kusari law enforcement and naval forces should neither be attacked or provoked into attacking as long as they do not threaten Corsair installations or vessels.
Obviously, we do have special agreements with some companies. They are our traditional allies or they proved themselves with their heroic deeds. They are now listed in article 17 and Cryer could be there - eventually. I already agreed about your brave proposal to raid Alpha together, so we can start from there. Bring me just 5 Outcast's heads from our raids and Cryer will be listed in article 17. *now he's finally looking you in the eyes, a bit deeper and more serious than usual*
Starting from "become our enemy or leave us alone" will not bring any progress in our relations, Senora Cryer.
*Pepe nods and reaches OFF button with his elegant hairless hand, mumbling:* I must get rid of those Kusari pills...