Over a month. I am breaking a promise I made to myself and to you. Why must life be this way?
Entry Log – 11th May 825A.S. - A Recap :
This isn't right. Not one bit of it is. I was part of Augus Clan, Augus. Our Daimyo, Sakurai or something, left without a word. Disappeared into the void. What emerged was a new clan created by one of the more prevalent members of old Augus. The guys name was Hiro Asai. With his rise to power many things have changed. I titled one my logs "A change in the status quo" if I remember correctly. That was a colossal understatement when compared to this one.
I have been forced to change my own name, thats right my own god damned name. I am no longer a proud member of the Miku family I was raised in, oh no. That would just be silly wouldn't it? Now I am Akiko Miku Asai, because this guy just wants to feed his own ego and make his clan the eternal embodiment of himself or something. On top of everything else this guy comes across as completely sexist. Seems to push the entire blame of everything that has gone wrong within the clan on Sakurai being a woman. I am having serious regrets about these Dragons, they are not one big happy family, despite how much they preach it.
The only plus side I have is the Liner work. It's come leaps and bounds, but I am hitting a wall. I've tried my best to work with what I have and the service robots from Kishiro are an invaluable asset. All the internal issues have been fixed and the hull has been patched up the best it can be. Now we are left with a broken power core and a engine beyond repair, trust me I looked at it for a long time. Thing is totally fucked.
The databanks have been restored and loaded with all the information they can carry from the Sendai archives. Thankfully I did that before the Daimyo changed over, since the new one has reverted my access. No doubt because I am a woman. That data is going to be my main bargaining chip when I move forwards, which it's nearing time for. I am going to submit my proposal directly to Heng, because I am avoiding this new guy best I can. Nothing but trouble and I want of this wild ride.
I want my name back.
Since they day I got here, all those months ago, I've not made any friends. All I have is my work and the progress I make. I set my own goals and aims, and I achieve them. I wont have someone new arrive and tell me I can't do something or I am not allowed to do it because it's what they will. I above all wont be denied something because of my gender, because of something I cannot, or rather wont, change.
In this recording I know I am going to sound angry. That is because I am. It is not right under any reasoning for me to be shimmied in a particular direction because some overlord decrees it to be so. Even after everything I've done and the progress I've made, it's not going to be enough. I know what I am going to do however, and the other clans are going to be involved.
Entry Log – 21st May 825.A.S. - A Storm Is Coming :
I do not like the way things are heading. While my in initial plans that I had drafted had me barely moving an inch, now they want me in the field during this operation. To make things worse, they want me to be sneaking around. They want me installing this thing in the control room. I have no idea how I am going to do this. Sneaking is difficult enough, and I don't work well under pressure. How do they expect me to install this thing?
I think I might have to delay this operation a little while, see if I can accelerate things with the Watanabe clan. If I can, and I get along with their leader, I'll try and get some training from them. Anything would be helpful, to be strictly honest. Things are only going to get more difficult from here, that much is becoming ever more clear.
I've been running through ways that would get around me having to be present when all this goes down, but I have no clue, like at all. Beyond the simple request of "Please don't force me to go," I have no idea how to stop it. I don't like this. It's a weird experience not knowing what to do, or even having anyone else offer guidance.
I ended up delaying my contact of Heung. I need to think things through, go slower. It's been interesting so far, to watch as the politics of the Dragons unfold and develop. Interesting to watch them from the inside, but with the mind of a third party. Hiro has been trying to rally Asai as of late, prove his power to the sector and what not - typical power play tactics from what I've read in the archives. It's a common thing to see, and is present throughout Blood Dragon history.
Homura has been in contact with me again. Did I even mention her yet? I am unsure. She's one of the Shogunate's more aspiring members it seems, but I doubt she knows her own history. At times I doubt whether most of the Dragons know their own history actually. I spent a good long while during my research task studying their history, and I seem to now know more than most; it's quite fun to correct people on their own history.
Anyways, Homura. She has been trying to get information out of me here and there, and abduct, for lack of a better word, me into her own clan - which she has created. Due to a lack of power there will probably be no acceptance or agreement, or even acknowledgement, from the Shogunate for it. I guess it would be something akin to a club back at school. A small gathering, nothing more. Time will tell I guess.
I probably should get around to contacting Heng though, if I leave it too long then I might miss my chance for things to progress. I still sit idly by waiting for something - anything. The liner serves as my home away from home now. With basic power online and the ship sitting like a stationary outpost, I've taken over one of the VIP suites that was, relatively, untouched by whatever did the damage to this ship. If I continue to wait perhaps things will progress in a way that is... undesirable for me.
--> Reconnecting To Database <--
--> Syncing External Logs <--
--> Updating Old Records <--
Entry Log – 23rd July 825.A.S. - Difficulties :
It's been difficult. I've been here three days now, trying to pick bits of information and learn the ways of the Watanabe. It's not easy. My first day was yesterday, and I didn't fair well. I am, to no surprise, completely outmatched by every other student here. Some of the others are fractions of my age, and the fact they can get me on the floor defenceless without so much as breaking a sweat is scary; even more so given how young I still am.
Daimyo Watanabe has been quick to point out my flaws and lack of technique or finesse, but not out of spite I feel. He does seem to genuinely care about his students, and now me, by extension. But I am exhausted. Mentally. Physically. It's day two and I feel like I'm going to die already. I don't have much in the way of hopes that they are going to turn me into some stealthy warrior, or whatever it was that Heng had thought up when he chose me for this.
The first week is entirely martial arts based, I don't start on the sneaky parts until later. I have higher hopes for those at least, since I'm no stranger to creeping around.
Entry Log – 28th July 825.A.S. - It Hurts:
My back hurts. My legs hurt. My arms hurt. I've been flipped and thrown about within the Dojo more times than I can count. Each time I learn nary a thing while I am simply instructed to try again. The best I've got is defending a couple of strikes. That's it. It consists of me being tossed around over and over, hoping I pick up some techniques on how to evade or stop them, or simply not get myself into the position where I'm a single touch away from being toppled over.
There are small sections of theory surrounding my lessons in the Dojo, and they have helped. Those few times I've successful have been thanks to what I was shown there. Applying the techniques is so difficult when everyone I spar with knows them and more. I feel I am looked at with mild amount of disdain from some of the other pupils when I spar there; whether it's caused by my eyes, lack of technique, overall non-Kusarian appearance, or just the fact I evidently don't belong here, I cannot say.
I hope my skill begins to improve with time, as it stands, I don't know how much more of this punishment I can take before my body just shuts down.
Entry Log – 14th August 825.A.S. - A Positive Result:
I won a spar! At last. Daimyo Watanabe was watching when it happened, or at least his little loyal drone was. It was the first time that after a spar was concluded, I wasn't asked to do it again. I've never been more proud of myself - well I probably have, but I am still overjoyed. I don't know if it was the other guy slipping up or me having a genuinely good performance, or a mix of the two, but I'm not complaining either way.
It was such an awesome move I did as well. Everyone as just figured they could get away with flipping me over on my back by using my own weight against me, but for once I countered it. They went to grab my arm, after I missed them with my own strike, yet before they got a chance to pull it towards their shoulder I ducked underneath their grapple, and reversed the move on them! Now their weight was used against them, I had their arm. I pulled it towards my shoulder and within a couple of seconds, they were laying on the floor. The first time. It was amazing!
I can't wait to go again tomorrow!
Entry Log – 15th August 825.A.S. - No More Dojo, For Now:
I've been pulled out of the Dojo for now. I've been told that I need to learn other things, and see if I can retain the skill a few weeks in advance. I think it's hasty to be honest, I hardly think a single victory signals it's time to move on, but I trust in my teacher. Everyone else respects him, and it must be for a good reason - he's hardly been unreasonable so far (if you discount the constant: "Again." I was given when defeated).
The next lessons are... weird. I am to meditate. That's not even a joke. I'm expected to simply sit in different parts of the station and (I quote) "Listen to the surroundings." Supposedly, it's designed to help me sort out the different sounds of the environment. Whether that be an ambient station 'hum' or people walking up and down busy corridors. If I understood correctly, the overall idea is to allow me to sneak better; if you can hear people, you know where not to walk. As it stands, I have a rather loud step, so I guess we'll work on that later.
Things are getting easier, but I have a feeling these next few days, or even weeks, are going to be very boring.
Entry Log – 28th August 825.A.S. - A Change, At Last:
I was getting so seriously bored around the station. I knew almost the entire station of memory and didn't need names, maps, or anything to navigate. Something about spending two weeks doing nothing but sitting in various spots around an enclosed space does wonders for memory retention, or so it seems.
However, my new schedule for the next couple weeks (potentially longer, since nothing in my timetable is ever set in stone it seems), I'll be spending a bit of time in and out of the Dojo. Sometimes sparing, sometimes just training my movement, my step. I'm going to start honing some of my more unexplored skills now: weaponry, evasion, stealth, defence, a whole host of others. I am actually looking forward to it.
The longer I stay here, the more I seem to feel at home. Daimyo Watanabe treats his students right.
Entry Log – 22nd 825.A.S. October - It's Been Some Time:
My training has come along way. It's been a while since I logged anything down. I feel bad. I am breaking my promise again. Yet, I know if you could see me now, you'd forgive me. You'd be so proud of all I am doing. You'd never have expected me to be able to do some of the stuff I can do now, even if it's not all perfect. You'd be so surprised with who I am.
I'm winning spars a little more regularly these days. It's nice to see my effort paying off. I still lose more often than not, but it's to be expected. They've had years to train, I'm only on a few months now. I've been training in some more of the rarer things, however. Daimyo Watanabe instructed me how to use a bow, even. A bow! I actually asked about it. I asked him 'why are we using such an ancient and archaic weapon'? You wanna know what his response was?
"Modern weapons can be unreliable. They can jam, overheat, or simply run out of ammo. Once a shot is fired, you cannot retrieve it. This is a skill that was practised for millennia, we'd be fools to say it's no longer applicable. You don't have to be the universe's greatest archer, but you should know how to use one should the need ever arise."
I think that's what he said. It was something like that, or very similar. That's just the tip of the unconventional weaponry iceberg. I've trained with swords, daggers, darts, rifles, pistols, you name it. Daggers I see the use of more than the others. It's much quieter to silently slit someone's throat then to shoot a gaping hole in their head with super-heated plasma. Ok, there is a sentence I never thought I'd say.
I really am changing, aren't I?
--> Database Records Updated <--
--> Closing Database <--
--> Sealing Records <--
--> Datapad Locked <--
As time goes on I can feel myself getting stronger. More capable. It's a wondrous feeling; I can only imagine what you'd say if you'd see me now. I was never like this, but through all my dismissal and rebellious nature towards these Dragons, they are bringing out something special in me. I would have never seen myself in this position, that's for sure. But I don't lose every spar, so I've got that going for me.
Much of what I do now in just repeating more of the same. Honing it and refining it. I wonder if I am going to be facing more trials and challenges, and pick up more skills. The practice is getting boring. Heh. I guess I really have shifted away from being the quiet one in the corner that works away on her machines. Now... now I can fight.
Entry Log – 6th December 825.A.S. - A Parting Gift:
My training has ended. Rather abruptly. I was meditating in the Dojo, as per my normal schedule, when Mitsubachi, Daimyo Watanabe's personal drone, came and disturbed my reflection. It carried a message from the man himself. He claimed my training was complete, or complete enough given the time frame. I was left with the impression he'd taken a degree of pride in my training, and I am eternally thankful.
But that wasn't all. He left me with a parting gift. Mitsubachi. It was... unexpected, to say the least. But it's nice to have a companion. Mitsubachi has a rudimentary VI, but it's capable of cognitive function, so at least I can exchange a conversation with it. It's not entirely one sided. It's actually rather nice to talk to something that isn't just a wall for once. I wonder if it could be upgraded to be capable of something closer to sentience? I doubt it, but it's something to make think about in the future. Perhaps some Zoners in the Edge-Worlds could assist with that?
Yet, I digress. I record this on my way back to my decaying liner. I never got a chance to ask him about it, so I suppose I'm on my own with that again. I'll have to consider my options for the near future. We'll have to wait and see. I'm proud of this moment.
Entry Log – 1th January 826.A.S. - Happy New Year:
Another year has passed. I hope things get better this year.
Entry Log – 20th January 826.A.S. - The Fall Of The Clans:
Do you remember months back when I talked about the instability of the Dragons? When one clan fell and another rose to take it's place? It's happened again. A power vacuum was created, and new clans rushed to take the remnants. I don't know what happened, but most of the clans I knew have gone silent, even my own. Asai, Kajima? Gone. Not a word. Silence. Watanabe has gone equally dark, and that has me worried. I doubt something bad happened to them, but it's out of character.
I don't know how this is happening. I can't continue with this, for more reasons that one at this point. My clan literally up and vanished without a word. People back on the station still act about their normal business, but every hint of a banner, word, or leader, has just up and gone without a trace. I'm going to reach out to Heung, hoping he's still around. If he is, I'll try and bargain the liner with him. With luck, he'll take it off me and reward me with enough to get a custom made Corvo, or something along those lines. Something that I can live in and survive with; But I'll need to find a place to store the Otemachi.
Perhaps while I'm at it, I'll find some more information on the clans; not that I care at this point, I'm just curious.