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The last child he had to attend to was Marie. Finished with the others, he went looking for her. When he did find her, her face was still red. He understood as she had been through more than most. He took her aside and sat with her as he had every other child and looked her over. She was easier as she didn't move due to her anguish. He also noticed the blue flower as one that came from his Estate. He said nothing as he knew who took it, how it got here and how pretty it looked on her.
"A pretty flower for a pretty girl," he said kindly.
Her exam was quick. "You're all caught up on things so you're finished."
She then turned to dock, her face like stone, "Thank you for bringing Elena. I like her."
He just softly smiled, "You're welcome. Yes, she is quite special." He then let her go and went over to Elena.
"You made quite the impression on that little girl," he told her. "Well done."
He then looked at Elena, "We will be moving on to another location shortly, another school with more kids."
He knew the two had bonded and it made him proud. "You are damn good at this."
Had she found her calling?
Although Elena had already wiped her eyes by the time she finally found Doc with another bunch of children – Maria amongst them –, that they were reddened would be an obvious indication that whatever she had told the child had not been easy or had not come along with a bunch of own, bad thoughts. Nonetheless she wore a smile as Doc began to laud her. Truth be told, she felt relieved. In the forefront she had pictured it a true torture to pay these kids, who themselves had suffered a lot, a visit. And although it had been hard to bear the weeping she had heard, as she reflected on it she began to realize it had not nearly been as cruel as she’d imagined in thoughts. At least not as bad concerning her own memories. The sight of those poor souls still was a gut-wrenching one.
She however seemed a little confused as she stepped before him, her gaze again and again wandering away from him towards the crowds of children exuberantly playing games. “Thank you,” she finally said, and turned her look back at him, arms akimbo. Hearing that she had apparently left an impression on that girl was soothing to her. That meant that Maria would keep her words in mind. “Do you really think I am? I really was just trying to offer a shoulder for her, nothing more.” And would have almost turned a weeping wreck herself.
While having another brief look at the children in the distance, she turned a question in her mind over and over again. How could she have been so selfish to believe she really was the only one suffering under problems? With churning thoughts, she stared into the distance while saying, “Alright,” with a slight smile playing around her lips and her brows wrinkled. “Just tell me as soon as we’ll leave.”
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“Do you really think I am? I really was just trying to offer a shoulder for her, nothing more.”
As she spoke these words, Doc began to put on his patented smile of care and gave a simple answer. "That, Elena, is probably the best thing you can offer, that and a listening ear."
He gave his farewells to the children, promising to be back soon, a promise he always kept. On his way out, he held the door open for Elena like the true gentleman that he was. He was smiling and proud. Elena took a big step whether or not she realized it. "There are about four schools like that one," he explained. "Grade schools, a middle school and a high school, both of which we will see before day's end and finally the local clinic. It sounds like a lot but it isn't as much as you might think."
He noticed her smile forming. It was a pretty smile but he said nothing of it, at least, not for now. At the end of the day, perhaps. Time and fortune would tell.
While Doc was bidding his own farewell to the children, Elena specifically sought after Marie, wishing to say goodbye to that little girl herself. While she might had made an impression on her, the same was surely true vice versa as well, even though Elena had not been so certain what to do with her at first. Finding her proved to be an easy undertaking, and after a little chatter that fortunately turned out to be far more light-hearted and casual than their previous conversation had, Elena bidded her goodbye, hugging her and messing up some hair. Reminding her once again that stuff would get better, even if little Marie was not yet believing in it – Elena herself actually was the prime example of not believing in it truly, either, but saying it, both to herself and to the girl, felt ever refreshing. In some way, the sight of those children aggrieved her, filling her up with regrets and notions about things she should have done differently in the past. For some seconds her thoughts went to her own child, unborn and dead. Running with her fingers over her wrinkled brows, she heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, to nobody in particular except perhaps the ghost of her child, and went back to Doc. “For everything.”
Truth be told, she was quite weary now already, weary and tired and exhausted. It was a lot to bear, after all, for it felt like meeting the problems she had nourished over the past months head-on now. Something she had desired, yet something that was difficult to stand through.
No matter, she put on a smile when she returned to him, although only a tiny one, stroking back her hair. The exhaustion was clearly hearable in her voice, despite her attempt to hide it, in her stubborn determination to stick through with the other four visits. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that list,” she admitted as she heard the enumeration of clinics. “Better get to it then, huh.”
As they went to leave the camp, Elena lifted her glance from the ground and her feet walking it and looked away into the distance. It seemed as though she wanted to say something, but it would take her some time to come out with it. “That visit brought some nasty memories and thoughts back,” she admitted, her facial play straining at an instant. It somehow had reminded her of what she had lost, and why.
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"Marie took to you," he replied. "When I found her, she was in rags, filthy, malnourished and had the onset of dysentery. I take a lot of pride in the progress she has made and yet she still has a long way to go. To my knowledge, you are the first person she took to so strongly. I think you did a great job with her." He smiled a bit at the "great job" compliment.
The next place they went had older kids. Teenagers mainly. They too greeted Doc warmly but the boys with handshakes and the girls with at least a smile and sometimes a hug. They required less attention medically but psychologically, they were a handful. They were at an age where they could fight and some wanted to but all knew that fighting a war for their homeland of Bretonia at this point was a losing battle. Thoughts that it was dishonorable not to often clashed with thoughts of what they had already lost which in many cases, were most of their family. It was a waiting game...waiting for it all to end so as to return home...or to what was left of it....and start over.
A problem from the isolation and waiting was that these young people took comfort in each other. They were all that they had and every time Doc would arrive, he would diagnose yet another teenage pregnancy or more. This day was no exception as he was informing one young girl of 16 this news.
"You feel sick to your stomach because you are with child," he informed a young Rachel. "Based on my scans, I would put you at about twelve weeks along."
She began to cry. "But I can't take care of a baby," she stammered.
"You will have plenty of help," he answered, his hands on her shoulders as he looked her in the face, "you are not alone and yes, you can do it."
She fell to tears and clutched him. He could only comfort her, "Everything will be OK. I promise."
For the guys, it was a lot of talk and interaction. He would throw some ball with them and just be a friend. If they needed help with studies, he provided what he could.
While they made no inappropriate moves or gestures toward Elena, some asked Doc about her. After all, it was someone new.
"She's beautiful," one said.
Doc just nodded and smiled, "Yes, she is."
"Who is she?" another asked.
"An intern," he answered.
Elena just listened to Doc’s words, not feeling the necessity to add anything to them. She just swallowed it. In some way, she rejoiced at the notion that she had perhaps helped, if only one single person, if only a tiny little bit. That would be well worth it, she told herself. Nonetheless it had felt wrong – she could not exactly name why, though. No matter how much she pondered over it, ‘great job’ sounded like an overstatement to her. A pretty blatant one. She felt tired, even though it was still rather early in the morning. At some point she rubbed her eyes, to rub away all the sorrows, but it did not help.
As soon as they met the second group of children – to Elena’s slight relief they were far more grown up already, she had to look up to look at many of the boys’ faces in fact –, she acted far less inhibited than before. That was owed to the way those teenagers had already grown out of childish cuteness – little body, big head, big staring eyes. It rankled with her less. She could not help but get reminded of her own time as a teenager, which had been a far more pleasant one than these kids could probably ever think of.
The case of teenage pregnancy got to her, though. At first she just stood at the sidelines, watching, face stemmed into one of her hands, not saying anything. The way the young girl reacted – panic-stricken, filled to the brim with overboiling dread - brought back a few memories on how she had reacted herself when confronted with the news of unplanned pregnancy. She had taken it lighter back then – less fear, more exuberant joy, but if she compared it to the outcome, she would have preferred it the other way around. Anxious beginnings, happy endings, not the other way around. And yet that was what had happened. Feeling no tears whatsoever running down her cheeks, she just dryly gaped at this girl named Rachel, numbed restless. At that moment, she actually felt somewhat empty, in all her restlessness.
Nonetheless she ended up pulling herself together suddenly, from one moment to the other, and decided to walk up to the girl and have a talk. Nothing big or outstanding – for any serious topics she would have needed nerves she alas could not call her own right now. With a frog in her throat she offered Rachel a bench to sit on and have a talk. The girl was still distraught, barely being able to squeeze words out of her mouth – in short, a state Elena had made her experiences with already. They would talk to each other for a while, though it was a very imbalanced talk to say the least, with Elena trying to steer the conversation away from the blatant, critical topic as much as possible, for both their sakes.
She couldn’t bite back a single remark though. “I’m sure you’ll be able to take care,” she said, like a hollow phrase dripping out of her mouth. The words made her throat tie up, eyes teary-eyed. Before she would lose her countenance completely, she would swiftly bid her goodbye – rather abruptly, the girl didn’t even realize what was happening – and try to hide herself away somewhere.
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Doc noticed Elena's reaction. He wasn't really sure on what to say. This, sadly, wouldn't be the last time he diagnosed a young Bretonian girl being pregnant and he was pretty good at breaking the news and getting them help but he was a doctor, a man, and there was just some ways he couldn't connect. He wanted to commend Elena for her help, help in a way that she could only give but he didn't want to push her.
He then looked back at the young girl, now upset and speaking with a counselor. He looked over at Elena who was trying to get herself together. That is when Doc stopped in his tracks.
"Elena," he asked, "would you like to stay a few more minutes....or more as you need? You seemed to connect with her....better than I can." He swallowed. He was very lost in his inaction. He wanted Elena to help her but he didn't want to hurt her in the process. Was it therapeutic? Was it more damaging? He just didn't know.
He just gently continued, "Right now, I'm deferring to you on this one as for once, I don't know which way to go."