Captain Vertiga told me you're bored enough to do some counseling sessions with me? My therapist on Curacao took her leave when they announced the Carcassonne in Cortez, so I'm looking for a new one. Ezrael mentioned you, so I wanted to ask whether you're available.
Captain Vertiga is right, I have plenty of time for you. I just talked to the Captain and he told me you are the woman who brings us supplies with a Zoner Whale, so I thought we could combine this and have you stay a little longer on the Apahanta when you are already around. Although the Captain doesn't like it when other people enter his ship, he agreed with this, so I guess I will see you soon. I'll attach a PQ to this message and would like to ask you to fill it in and send it back to me before we meet, so I have a rough idea about you. That will help me preparing myself for you.
If you have any questions, shoot right away. There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers, so don't worry. I'm looking forward to meet you in person!
Lindsay Camillo
January 9th, 825 - Omicron Kappa
The cup of tea on the little table infront of Sombra was steaming, the liquid slightly reflecting the warm light of the room. To her very surprise, the quarter of Counselor Lindsay Camillo looked less spartanic and more like a normal room in some flat on a planet. It was nice, a decent surprise. It felt comfortable. She was used to less comfortable rooms on space ships. Ezrael for example had no fluff in his personal room, close to the bridge. It was like a secondary commanding room and security office. Not comfortable, but somehow interesting.
Her look moved up from the steaming cup of tea to the almost sleepy smile on the face of Lindsay, who sat in a seat on the opposite side of the table, welcoming Sombra with a smirk. "Make it yourself as comfortable as you want. Most therapists don't want their patients to lay down during the talk, but if you want, the couch is yours."
"I'll just sit for now, but thank you." Returning the smirk, Sombra shifted a little on the couch, making sure her black dress was fitting perfectly. Her hands were in her lap, held by her closed legs. It didn't look like she was relaxing. More like as if she was trying to be as respectful as possible. Lindsay however sat cross-legged in her seat with a PDA in her own lap. She wore one of those black Apahanta suits that were pretty shape-revealing, so Sombra saw how thin Lindsay was. It made her wonder whether she was borderlining shortweight.
"If you say so. It is nice that you're here. I rarely get to see new faces here on the ship, and I heard already so much about you, even before the questionaire." Lindsay had a very quiet and soothing voice, filled with positivity. Sombra liked that. "Thank you for sending it back to me. That makes things easier for me. Just to make sure I understood everything right, I'll ask you about a few things you wrote. Note though that this counseling will only help much as long as you feel comfortable with it. If there are topics you don't want to talk about with me, please say something and we change the topic to something else. Okay?"
Nodding, Sombra replied. "Okay."
"First of all, I would like to ask you to formulate verbally why you think you need this counseling. You mentioned you already have been in therapy on Curacao with another therapist. I would like to know what you were aiming at back then and how you felt about it, and what you expect from this. One question after another, though."
"Okay," Sombra sounded again, this time more thoughtful. She actually had no idea what she was expecting and in her mind, she tried to think about all of it, and how to formulate it. She wanted to articulate herself as best as possible to not make a dumb impression on her. "I've been in therapy now for multiple years. It was mostly about escorting me through my life with stress-relieving talks, but also some activities, sports and such. I don't really feel the concrete need for therapy. I think the word itself isn't fitting in my case, at least not anymore. I do like the talks, though. There are people who listen and give their opinion, and there are qualified people who listend and give qualified advices. When I go to a counseling, I get my little package of attention without any negativity. At least that is my experience so far about it." Lindsay smirked at Sombra, looking at her PDA then, which was recording what Sombra said and at the same time created a transscript of it.
"Do I need it? Maybe, maybe not. Do I want it? Yes. Does it hurt if I get it? Very unlikely. So here I am, talking to a person I don't know. A person who listens. Back when I needed it, years ago, it was to stabilize myself. I went through a very rough change, both in body and in mind, from a suicidal, fat and ugly girl to a slim, athletic and pretty woman. My childhood wasn't nice. Kids aren't nice to fat and ugly kids. I was an outsider and it got worse with each year. And just before it was too late, your Captain stepped into my life. During college. He was there as teacher for biology and phsyical education and specifically for surfing. He helped me to fix my issues, but he on his own didn't have the time and the training to help me with my mental issues. That is when the therapy started."
There was a certain smirk on Lindsay's lips as Sombra mentioned Ezrael. "So the therapy back then was mostly consisting of therapeutical talks?"
"Majorly, yes. At least the professional aspect of it. Anything else was sort of guided by Ezrael." Sombra herself smiled sheepishly when mentioning it.
"What exactly was anything else?" the counselor asked her interested, watching Sombra's body language very closely.
"He organized funds for a lipectomy from Orbital Spa & Cruise. His family had a sub-company of OSC back then, so he had his connections. Within a short time, I lost massive weight and now I look like I look now. He also made sure I wouldn't hide myself all day, taught me how to like my own body, how to eat correctly, what sports I can do, how to be more sovereign in my appearance and all that. After class, we had this surfing club, where I also met Leon, your chief engineer."
"Ex-Chief engineer," Lindsay corrected her with a nod.
"Ah, yes, right. Well, Ezrael made sure I would treat my body better and suddenly I had friends and looked forward to have social interactions instead of hiding myself in the neural net. All thanks to him. I think that answers the questions, right? I feel very happy about it, which is why I don't want to give backfire any chance."
"That is indeed a wise attitude," the counselor commented with a smirk. She grew silent for a moment, smirking at the table without any focus.
The cup was not steaming anymore, and Sombra already had taken a few sips. It was nice, a rather sweet taste, probably because of the sweetener.
"So your expectations of this counseling are mostly about it being stress-relieving talks. That's fine. It's good when you know what you want. However, if there is anything else you want to do, if your opinion changes, just tell me." Lindsay shifted in her seat for a moment, still sitting cross-legged, her back slightly arced.
Sombra however sat in the center of the couch by now, her legs tucked up. She fiddled around with her dress each time she moved a little, wanting it to look appealing and not all over the place. "I'm fine with how things are right now."
"What have you been doing aside from your therapy?" Lindsay asked her with a calming smile.
Sombra smirked. She needed to think about her reply, as she did many things back then. "I spent more and more time with people. The make-over helped me find confidence to survive social interaction, and instead of hanging out in the cuddles.nn chat rooms, I extended my time spent with real people. You probably know it already, but Ezrael, Leon and I became best friends. It wasn't a common thing for students to spent time after class with the teacher, but Ezrael didn't give much about those guidelines. You know, he is one of the guys who just do the right thing, no matter if there are laws or conventions against it. So the surfing class after school started out to be for one point five hours and later ended up with a regular time of three to four hours and after that we chilled with him at the beach or at his home, a Corvo. Party ship."
"Wait, there were no issues with that coming from parents or other teachers?" Lindsay asked her curiously.
"It was the college, so we were old enough to make our own decisions. In the end, it helped us maturing up pretty much. In many ways."
Lindsay gave her a questioning look. "What do you mean with that?"
"I think it is a very important thing to find a balance within social communities. On the one hand, Ezrael helped me turning into a beautiful woman with everything he did, so suddenly people stopped treating me like an ugly fatty. I was more accepted. On the other hand, however, Ezrael is a good example of him not caring much about what other people think of him. He knows he doesn't do bad things and doesn't give much about rules that are there for the sake of being rules to be enforced. So he is in the center of being socially accepted and doing anything other people say for the sake of itself. Balance is everything."
That statement made Lindsay grin. "And what exactly did he do?"
There was a slight blush on Sombra's cheeks and for a moment, she didn't look anywhere else than at her tea cup. Then she replied. "He went clubbing with us, for example. I mean, he himself was still young at that time. It was pretty much his first year as teacher when we met him. He never took this job too serious, after all he already had access to unlimited funds from the company of his parents. Nevertheless he never was snob-ish and instead all about providing a good time for himself and all the people around him, you know?" She smirked even wider. "Of course other people didn't like it when they heard he was spending his time with us like that, but he was good at his job, had a good reputation and it never escalated."
"So he went partying with you and Leon, while he was your teacher. And it never escalated." Lindsay repeated her words, looking at Sombra for her reaction. "How can I imagine that? You three styled up and then went to the clubs and just danced?"
Again Sombra had to look at her tea cup, blushing even more. "Well, with Ezrael, we obviously were able to visit some clubs the normal pleb doesn't get to visit. You know, there are those discos where everyone has access to, including some chaps with evil intents like drug consumers or other scum, and there are high-society clubs with security and VIP rooms and, well, better drinks. People there go there for the same thing, to have fun. Dancing, drinking, meeting people."
"One night stands?"
"... Yes."
"You say it as if that was something bad." Lindsay smirked at Sombra, able to guess the rest.
"It's not. It's not a secret Ezrael had many, many, many women. Hundreds, if not even a fourth digit. Of course Leon and I had some hits every now and then as well. I mean, VIP rooms, right?"
While Sombra shifted slightly on the couch, she noticed Lindsay's sheepish grin. The counselor licked her lower lip for a moment. "I have to admit I'm curious here, because I never went to clubs. I can only imagine you lived what other people only see in movies." She made a short break before she continued. "Did you sleep with Ezrael as well while he was your teacher?"
"Yes."
"Was it an issue at some point?"
"No. Not at all. We only sort-of kept it as a secret. Like, we never talked about it when other people were around, but obviously people were with us in the clubs."
"What do you mean, they were with you in the clubs?" Lindsay had a hard time suppressing a chuckle.
"Well, uhm... like, multiple women, and Ezrael, and me and Leon and, well, VIP room, alcohol, loud music, flashing lights. Do I really need to say it out loud?"
There was the audible sound of Lindsay swallowing for a moment, still with a smile on her face. It was obvious she had to process that information and tried to keep it professional, yet the dimples in her cheeks were telling everything. Sombra gave her an apologetic smile, wondering if she said something wrong. "So, your teacher brought two of his students to expensive clubs with VIP rooms where he had orgies with multiple women and one of his students. Right? You have to admit, phrasing it that way is making it sound funny, which is why I am a bit amused. It's just... it's such a thing he would do, yeah."
Sombra returned the smirk. It did sound funny. "Leon had a good time there as well. They didn't cross the beams, though, just to clarify."
The cup was halfway empty by now. Sombra lay on her side on the couch, supporting herself with a pillow under her head. She smiled at the counselor, obviously enjoying the talking. Lindsay's dimples were starting to hurt her facial muscles from the smile. Some things her new patient told her about the Captain and their past were quite amusing.
"So you grew up on Curacao suffering from adipositas and related symptomes, physical, mental and social. Then Ezrael stepped into your life at the right time and organized a make-over, turning you into the slim and athletic woman you are now. You stopped spending time on the neural net chats and games and instead interacted with people in the real life, did sports, went clubbing with your teacher and even had sex with him and other men." Lindsay summed up, looking at Sombra with a questioning expression to ask her for correction.
"And women."
"And women. I take it this went on like this for the rest of your college time?"
"Yes. I didn't get the best degrees but I had Ezrael using his connections to make sure I would get a job at Orbital Spa and Cruise, training inclusive." She scratched her nose, which caused a strand of her thick black hair to fall into her face. Cross-eyed looking at it, she placed the strand back to where it was supposed to be, behind her ear. "And thus I became an OSC liner pilot."
"Oh. That sounds interesting!"
"It absolutely wasn't. It was refit. Looked like a liner, was actually a freight transport. They didn't want me to fly around with the responsibility over thousands of people all over the ship. I didn't mind that, actually, so I did use the ship for secondary and tertiary transport contracts of OSC, and in the off-times I did some jobs for Detroit Munitions, Wisp and other groups."
"You piloted a liner that was used for cargo transports?" Lindsay blinked at her, smirking.
"For a year, yes. Then I got shot down by a Liberty Rogue destroyer, because my escorts fucked up. It was a horrible day, really. I entered the New York system from Pennsylvania with a cargo hold filled with Neon gas cannisters from Erie. I had my cat with me on the ship, Dr. Orpheus. There was a Freelancer snub escorting me and a Liberty Battlecruiser who just happened to fly the same way as I did." The more Sombra was talking about that day, the less happy she sounded. "We jumped into the badlands using the gate, and a Liberty Rogue Destroyer was waiting there for us. You know, in those moments you would expect a Liberty Battlecruiser to take action. The snub didn't do anything either. So the pirate just took his sweet time to make his demand. Obviously I didn't comply, with a battlecruiser sitting next to me and a snub. Obviously, that was a horrible mistake. The people on the battlecruiser were incredibly incompetent and instead of drawing the fire, tanking the shots for me to leave, they went on distance, allowing the destroyer to fire multiple mortar shots at my ship."
The smile on Lindsay's face had vanished, similar to Sombra's smile. "Oh god..."
"The shots hit the ship and ripped it into multiple parts. I was able to get to the rescue pods unharmed, the destroyer had aimed for the center of the ship, not the bridge. Dr. Orpheus however didn't make it, he got sucked out into space. Just like the many robots that maintained the liner. Can you imagine that? There is a bloated, frozen black cat somewhere in the Badlands of New York floating around if it didn't crash with asteroids to break into thousand little cat pieces. What a way to go. Poor Dr. Orpheus. Because of that i don't take my cats into space anymore. Ezrael, Leon and Mojo are staying at home all day."
The expression of sadness and shock suddenly on Lindsay's face suddenly turned into confusion. "Ezrael, Leon and Mojo?"
"After Dr. Orpheus death, I was so sad I bought myself three new kittens. I only wanted two but they were all so cute so I got all three of them. I named them Ezrael, Leon and Mojo, Ezrael and Leon obviously named after my best friends. And Mojo because I thought that would be a funny cat name." Sombra smiled, thinking about her cats. "A day after naming them I realized Leon was female. It's something human Ezrael reminds human Leon of to trigger him." She smiled even wider.
"Wow," the counselor sounded, mildly smiling at Sombra's cup. It was obvious she was at a loss of words about what Sombra just told her. Taking a deep breath, she leaned back, licking her lower lips for a moment before continuing with the talk. "So you got show down in Liberty, lost your beloved pet, and all that because of the incompetence of the ships that escorted you. And to get over it, you got yourself three new kittens, which you named after the people you like. Luckily, you made it back to safe space unharmed. That is quite a thing. You probably had some counseling about that incident?"
"Yes, of course. Back then I was pretty depressed and they took my license. I lost my job, but as a curacao-born woman I didn't have to leave the planet. Instead they took care of me and allowed me to stay in my apartment. That is a thing on Curacao, luckily. They do care about the people who have been born on the planet. There aren't many, but Ezrael, Leon and I happen to be born on Curacao, as children of people who have either worked or settled down on that world."
Shifting in her seat, Lindsay stretched her legs, for now sitting casually in her seat. Her muscles were sore from sitting cross-legged. "Do you think you processed what happened?"
"I don't believe one can overcome things perfectly, making a cut like a machine and just look back at things without any emotion. I still feel the fear of death when I move through Liberty. Rogues, Lane Hackers, Outcasts, and in the worst cases, Xenos. Some of them play along the rules, some of them just want to see the world burn. But I've learned from my mistakes. Escorts are useless. They can't catch mortars aimed at your transport. They are eating up your money for nothing. Now that i am a Whale pilot, I use a cloaking device most of the time. I rather fly multiple runs instead of getting spotted by people who just want to kill me. Liberty is the worst place when it comes to that. Not all of the criminals out there are evil. For example, Ezrael and I have a good relation to the people of Montezuma base in Cortez. And I recently did a job for the Cassini Rogues."
"So you say you processed it but it made you be more careful," Lindsay concluded.
"Yes. Ezrael once told me one of his fortune cookie wisdoms. 'Losing is not when you fail. Losing is when you don't stand up anymore.' So I took my time to enjoy life, with my new kittens. I didn't need to worry much about money because OSC paid my rent and provided some life-support, and then I also had Ezrael who was always incredibly nice to me." Her voice turned more sad the more she talked about it. "And then out of all people, his parents died in Curacao's orbit, when nomads appeared and destroyed an OSC convoy. Suddenly, Ezrael was alone with an entire company. And he vanished for weeks and developed an alcohol problem. Then only Leon was there for me."
The cup was refilled, once more steaming with tea. Sombra sat at the edge of the couch, infront of her cup, faithfully like a young girl. There was no smile, neither on her face nor on that of the counselor. The latter sat in her seat, her eyes were loosely focused on the table.
"The Captain never struck me as a person with an alcohol problem, to be honest. I know he has a personal storage of pretty expensive gallic wine in one of the cargo bays, but he was never seen drinking much of it. Did he overcome it?" Lindsay asked her, giving her a lopsided look.
"He did, eventually. It was more of an acute problem. He had this, well, phase, when he went to clubs and bars pretty much each day to get drunk and wake up with another girl in the next morning in some hotel, without any memory. It really produced some funny stories, but in the end, he did all of it just to find a way to forget the pain and find thigs to live for. Hedonism was always his extreme trait, and during that period of time it was the most extreme. For example, did you know the scar he has at his left eye came from a bar fight? He hit up on the wrong girl and her boyfriend didn't like it, so things escalated and the guy whipped out a knife. Ez won the fight, knocking the guy out but not without getting hit." For a moment, Sombra smirked awkwardly into her lap, stroking her own hand. "I don't know what specifically happened, but from one day to another, Ez disappeared again, and all information we got was that he had left Curacao with his ship, the CV-Eclipse. His old Corvo. Turned out he managed to sell the company of his parents to OSC, for somewhat around five billion credits. And that he made a deal with the Core, buying himself into a certain position and investing money into the restoration of a ship that never got into action before. The Apahanta."
Lindsay smiled at that. She only knew parts of the story, but now it sort of made sense to her. "So his parents got killed by the Nomads, and after a certain amount of time of the hedonism the Captain is known for, he enlisted for the Core, to seek revenge?"
"It looks like that, yes, but he always said it was less about revenge than to prevent something like what happened in Cortez from happening again. He is not that simple, even if he makes that impression sometimes." Sombra shook her head for a moment. "He isn't dumb at all. Although, like anyone else, he made mistakes. He just doesn't admit it openly. He always says there is no weakness in admitting mistakes, but he also says it is the mistakes that brought him where he is now. Something that shaped him. And that he is in a good shape." She chuckled about it.
"He is always very positive about things, that is true. What do you think about it, though?"
"I share and trust his views, of course." She sounded very confident about it, smiling at the counselor. With a finger, she dipped into the tea to check how hot it still was, and instantly pulled back. Too hot for now. "Everything in my life has been better since he is a part of it. He's a lucky charm to everyone who shares his path."
"When was he part of your life again, though? You said he left you alone after the death of his parents."
Moving a long black strand of hair out of her sight, Sombra continued. "I knew he was under great stress, and when he stopped responding to my messages - simply because he was busy in Omicron Rho all day, undergoing trainings on Durban Station. Physical training to get a bit more buff, as he was pretty lean at that point of time, as well as capital ship command training. Of course he always had a talent for roles and jobs that required a certain authority. He skipped the training on Nauru, refusing it vehemently. He hates Nauru, despite of the few nice areas the Core managed to construct there. Months later, when the investments started to pay off, the construction of the Apahanta was finished and he got a skeletal crew for the ship, as well as permission to use it in the Omicrons, mostly to make sure the main battles wouldn't manage to leave the Omicron Delta system."
Taking a deep breath, she looked at her cup. "And then, a few weeks after working with and for the Core, he realized the Core is only a facade. He invested into it, around two billions for the reconstruction of the Mako, just to see the Core never was interested in the destruction of the Nomads. Never. They are farming nomads like a resource in a game. Ez was tricked, he fell for the propaganda of the Core. His contract with Nodtviet made a bail-out impossible, and the Core is known for what they do to deserters. Luckily, he managed to take the unrest created by the first Core-Zoner-Conflict to his advantage, as many Core pilots didn't want to fire upon Zoners for various reasons."
Lindsay nodded understanding. "Like our Commander, Sherry Aguilar. She for example is from Gran Canaria."
"And so he found people who were interested in leaving with him. You probably heard of it, but a major part of the defectors were female. It is really funny, I had a good laugh when I heard about it. He actually managed to get in touch with other defectors by hitting up on them, having sex with them and thus meeting them on a more trusting level." She chuckled. "His dick was the literal key to their defection." For a moment, she fell into laughter, holding a hand infront of her mouth. Her cheeks were flushing and her eyes got wet. After a short moment of Lindsay joining the chuckle, Sombra calmed down again, smirking continously. "It sounds so doofy, but that is how it happened. So they had this plan, this set-up with Auxesia and the Zoners. I'm sure you know the rest of the story. The Apahanta officially went MIA for a long time, while it was hidden at Livadia and then in Omega-49. In the meantime, he met his girlfriend Maren and another girl called Nancy, and when it turned out they would stick with him, he remembered he had more loyal friends. And so he called me and Leon. And we were finally united again."
"He was gone for multiple months then, I guess? What did you do in the meantime?"
"I was remaining on Curacao most of the time. It was boring without Ezrael. Admittedly, it was depressing. I started drinking Rheinbier and first tried to get in touch with new people again. After all I was in a fencing club since college. I also tried to go to the clubs on my own. But it wasn't the same without Ez. When you're used to high quality, you don't want to bother with anything worse than what you're used to. If you know what I mean."
"I don't, really."
Sombra blushed. "Well, why would you want to drink water out of a pipe when you can have a very sweet fruity wine?"
"What do you mean with that?"
Sighing, Sombra scratched the back of her neck, blushing even more. Then she brushed a hand across her cheek, almost sheepishly, just to hold her hands together for a moment. "Okay, so this is the normal guy. John McAverage, Liberty Navy pilot." Her hands started to take distance from each other, around thirteen centimeters. "And this is Ez..." The hands took more distance, and once they exceeded the twenty centimeters, Lindsay understood what she was refering to, shaking her head with her hands covering her eyes.
"Okay, okay, okay, I got it now, thanks for the pictures! It's okay now! Lalalalala!" Chuckling, Sombra leaned forward to get her cup of tea.
"So I didn't do much, really, and grew more introverted over time. Leon visited me every now and then and I had my cats to take care of, but neither did I have a job, nor any reason to do anything. So beer and neural net were my thing, I spent days and weeks in World of Warpcraft and other games and chats and on forums, arguing with people over stupid things just to see their funny reactions. Like, you know those movie critics who go to the movie theatre to watch the same movie ten times and then rant about it on the neural net about how crappy the movie was? I love that, I'm like 'omnomnomnom' when I see that and just throw more wood into the fire. Because people just love to rant about things without realizing how they only rant for the sake of ranting instead of enjoying things."
Lindsay laughed when Sombra made the omnomnomnom sounds. "Yes, there is an infinite source of salt on the neural net. It is nice to hear you turn lemons into lemonade by making fun of it, though."