Phate entered Director Moriarty's office and stood in front of the ancient wood desk. Moriarty leaned back from the paperwork scattered across the desk and gazed thoughtfully at the Hacker for nearly a minute before reaching down and snatching a sheet from the desk. He began reading without pause.
"In light of certain incontrovertible reports of maniacal chicanery observed by a multitude of credible and incredible personages of various and sundry dispositions detailing numerous acts of flippant obfuscations, pertinent conundrums, diabolical malfeasences and profeasenses, post-, pre-, and anti-profundities committed in discord to the prevailing directives of the Lane Hackers, the afore-mentioned Lane Hacker is hereby sentenced to exile via the nearest airlock wit"
Moriarty stopped in mid-word as Phate inhaled sharply. Moriarty quickly scanned the rest of the document.
"That corsair-begotten secretary sent in the wrong report!" he bellowed.
"Now where is the right one?"
He searched through the papers on the desk, scattering dozens to the floor before snatching one out of the pile.
"The...uh, hmmm, yes...this is it."
He cleared his throat.
"In recognition of numerous acts of valor, ingenuity, resourcefulness, and otherwise impressiveness, Hacker Phate is hereby promoted to Deputy Director of Research and Development in The Lane Hackers. This promotion entitles him to five standard rations of cardamine per cycle, as well as the other sundry rights, privileges, duties, titles, utterances, disputations, nuances, and stipulations entailed therein, hereby, and such forth. This promotion is effective immediately, forthwith, henceforth, and thusly."
Moriarty looked up.
"Congratulations. Your first task is to find out who that other report is regarding and give them a tour of airlock 19c. Dismissed."
Currently in development of :
Nefarious Plots, Shrewd Schemes, Infamous Cabals, Canny Conspiracies, Devious Ruses, Machiavellian Machinations, Insidious Subterfuges, & Wily Stratagems