There was a LSF Carrier at thuh station, didn't say much t' me an' jus' 'nother LSF vessel that I have seen around lately. Their presence worries me greatly, ah don't want any 'ouse boys approaching on Zoners again. Mah position is a stressful one, ah've been getting less sleep, more headaches, more hassle and ah feel sometimes it's jus' me alone against the world. Core an' Order are at eachother ah-gain an' this tahme ah'm tryin' t' keep Zoners out of it. If ah push either way, well ah do believe they shall both turn on me instead. Ah got friends in Order, an' ah got friends in Core, heh, ah got more then friends in Core but that's personal. Seems tempers are up ah-gain and 'ere ah am jus' doin' mah job as neutral as ah can be. Enforcin' thuh no fire zone is a thankless position, constant questionin', constant bickering an' constant strange people comin' out at Freeport 11. Ah miss thuh days of Freeport 10, when thuh only trouble ah had was those QC boys before they blew up in a puff of smoke.
Addin' t' all this is thuh Nomads, constantly attackin', attackin', attackin'. Mary believes that Nomads can be reasoned, well, ah don't think she's been on thuh recievin' end of a Ish'tar firin' it's full load at mah carrier's be-hind. Ah want a break, ah want to take a vacation, ah want to see more members in Velvet but above all ah jus' want t' be happy doin' mah job an' have jus' one day without a major incident happenin'. It's a tough job but, mah daddy said to me that thuh job is thuh job, you gotta live with that job. Ah can live with it, for now.
Ah do certainly swear that Mary is gona get 'erself killed with all that, doo-gooder attitude bout thuh Nomads. Guess Ah'm jus' not as optimistic as 'er when it comes to coexistence with Nomads, which by thuh by ah do believe is very impossible. Ah've thought so many Nomads, of varying shapes an' sizes and ah do declare, any talk of coexistence is a fool's errand saved for those that worship thuh Nomads. Ah do believe in somethin' bout understandin' the enemy to defeat the enemy but ehhh, I think those Core people will soon hear of 'er ways and punish her for her friendliness.
Ah'm jus' worried she'll end up bein' painted as infected and executed or somethin' ah, just another day.
Things just keep gettin' more stressful and ah'm unsure of how to proceed, ah feel at tahmes ah'm jus' spinnin' a hundred plates to make sure thuh Freeport remains in peace. Core, lately has me worried ah've heard the Core of old from friends an' sometahmes ah wonder if that Old Core will come back, they certainly been pinnin' thuh blame of all these new do-gooders on me. Speakin' of do-gooders ah had to ban thuh Rheinland Bismarck from thuh Freeport, ah didn't feel right doin' it but too be truthful ah don't raghtly know why a Bismarck of all vessels wanted t' join thuh fight against thuh Nomads.
Then you get John, Rusty.Old.Screw alon' with a host of other ships he seems t' own. John has been mah friend, enemy, confident an' annoyance. John strikes me as someone who can't learn and truly doesn't learn from past instances. Jus' t'day ah had two former Velvet leaders come t' thuh Freeport and John went all strange on Josh Graham. T' thuh point where he broke thuh no-fire-zone jus' t' fight him. Ah don't know whether it's a manhood thing or, some type of bravado but sometimes ah wish John would grow up. Ah may have t' ban 'im again, and ah was the one who unbanned 'im. It aint raght, but, what is these days.
Josh did say ah should quit, an' to be honest ah briefly considered it but, without us well, ah think things would be worse. Least that's what ah keep tellin' mahself, ah one day at a tahme.