Lately (and before that) we have been getting a lot of applications from orphans. I called around for a bit and its seems the navy and the rozzers also have an orphan-density that would shock the most evil of stephmothers. It seems an entire generation of sirius population has been slaugheterd by pirates, leaving their next of kin behind (on our bloody doorsteps, no less).
Let me make this clear: we don't want any more ruddy orphans applying. Our bases look like bloody orphanages, the crying at night 'mommy! mommy! where are you!?' is getting on my soddin' nerves and the shrink costs are killing us.
If any orphans apply from now on I'll have them shot. twice. Then they will receive medical attention. And when they are fully healed, I'll have them shot. Again. Twice. In the wedding vegtables.
Just a head's up to any of you soddin' orphans out there, I have my old relic twin barrel ready for the next of you lot to apply. And it makes a mess when used on humans, you will not easily forget the sight of it.
Normally I don't bother with these kinds of things but really, this has got to stop.