Today I received information one of your vessels made its way into the heart of Liberty and docked upon my colony, Planet Pittsburgh in New York. Now, from the data I received, it appears you supplied the colony with a good shipment of tobacco. I am not adverse to people working within my company smoking, but a lot of my facilities are a smoke-free environment. Delivering them such a large shipment undermines our efforts to reduce the risk to our employees through harmful toxins consumed through the inhalation of tobacco smoke.
The point I am getting at is; Who are you and why are you attempting to poison my employees?
Further more, I wish to understand exactly what it is your company does.
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CommID: Jean Pierre LeBlanc Target: John Doe Subject: Tobacco shipments
Monsieur Doe,
It is a pleasure to speak to ze President of ze DSE. An honor, truly. We had much difficulty locating your base of operations on ze Planet you call Pittsburgh, as it was shrouded in a thick cloud of black smog from your boron refineries. Thankfully, our superior Gallic guidance systems enabled us to land safely.
We could almost make out ze landing lights at ze docking bay, but everything was covered in a fine black soot that seemed to obscure ze platform. Fortunately, when we landed, all ze soot was blown away and caught in ze air. Hopefully, your planet's inhabitants are stocked with protective breathing apparatuses. C'est le vie, as we say in Gallia.
We were encouraged by ze warm greeting from ze landing crew when we docked. They seemed more than happy to receive our shipment of tobacco. Unfortunately, they were no able to convey their appreciation due to ze coughing fits from working in your boron mines.
We would very much like to continue our shipments of Tobacco to your fine planet. However, if you feel that ze health of your 85 million inhabitants would be worsened by zis commodity, than we can find another destination for our desired product.
Regards,
Jean Pierre LeBlanc
Director of External Operations, GMS
Our safety for the employees in our mines is of a top notch condition, though there are staff who refuse to follow safety protocols. Subsequently they are of the same percentage of employees who partake in tobacco smoking. You can lead a horse to water, you can't make it drink.
If you flew through the smog, then you really did miss the appropriate Spaceport, which is 150kms south of our busiest mining site. Your Gallic scanners may be used to flying through smog, but it appears your pilots don't know the difference between the commerce and industry ports. I suggest you catch up on how things are done here in Liberty. Regardless, our safety is really nothing of your concern.
What is however, is why a Gallic company chooses to deliver tobacco upon my property to promote a harmful substance, upon which you only profit from, and do not pay taxes like the rest of us to ensure our citizens do get the best health care available to them.
The point I am putting to you is that if you wish to profit off actively poisoning people for recreational purposes, then I require you to mark a contract with my company, stipulating that you will contribute to the healthcare system we have in place and you are free to continue your business or yes, take it else where.
It is this simple, no less. Failure to co operate with us will result in docking rights removed permanently from any of my installations.
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CommID: Jean Pierre LeBlanc Target: DSE President John Doe Subject: Tobacco Shipments
DSE President John Doe,
Monsieur Doe. Your regard for ze health and safety of your fellow employees is admirable. As ze director of ze GMS, I understand ze importance of maintaining health and safety standards when working in hazardous conditions. Believe me when I tell you that it warms our Gallic hearts to know that ze conditions we experienced when landing on your planet are not ze norm.
As far as your concerns about ze safety issues with regard our tobacco, it is true that many people use it for ze smoking. However, despite this distasteful use, our Gallic Tobacco has many other uses which may be viewed as noble.
For example, bioengineers and researchers have long discovered healthy uses of our plant. They have been used in antibiotics, vaccines, cancer treatments, medicines and our tobacco plants even help restore damaged soil caused by ze manufacturing process.
I'm sure you will agree that any product can be abused. Sadly, this has been the case with our tobacco. However, it is up to each and everyone of us on how we use Ze Arch's great gifts. Surely, with this knowledge of our product, you cannot financially penalize us, simply because some of your planet's inhabitants twist the natural use of our tobacco into some sort of harmful recreational pleasure. It would be a shame to lose a potential trading partner because of some sort of misunderstanding regarding our commodites.
This certainly isn't the only valuable commodity we carry. A little wine and cheese can be good for ze soul, no? Allow us to ship some of our Gallic treasures to you, and you will not be disappointed.
Regards,
Jean Pierre LeBlanc
Director of External Operations, GMS
Mr LeBlanc, please don't insult me with trying to sugar coat your intentions of delivering the tobacco to my colony with the intentions of good will. You clearly stated you delivered the tobacco to a mining site, upon which certain elements of the workforce there received what could be considered contraband, as it failed to come through standard customs. I usually overlook these slight incursions that happen, tobacco keeps the hardened workers happy and working efficiently. However your brazen insinuations upon the state of my workforce, my facilities and of my employees had not started this communication on a good note.
The need for a contract is paramount. If a foreign company such as the one you represent chooses to come to our heartland and deliver this commodity, and then tell me that your tobacco is no worse than the air my employees breathe down in the mines with out properly even touring any of our sites, then I need to make sure I can legally bind you to behavioural guidelines stipulated by myself and board of administrators. You are a long way from home, Monsieur, and it's best for you to not upset the locals.
If you feel delivering smoking tobacco to my colony is not worth penalizing, then consider it buying the monopoly to the market of delivering only the finest Gallic tobacco, wine and your cheese.
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CommID: Jean Pierre LeBlanc Target: DSE President John Doe Subject: Tobacco Shipments
Monsieur Doe,
Us? Insult you? I never! I've been exceedingly patient with you and your brash insinuations. However, it seems that such an effort is in vain, so what say we drop the pretense. Or, well, at least I'm going to be a tad more direct, you'll probably go about the same. I'm thinking perhaps you should take a remedial course in business relations. I can offer such at a greatly reduced rate through the Metal Service's education division, as we usually make accommodations for particularly needy cases. Our kindness knows no bounds.
We come to you bearing humble gifts of some of the finest tobacco you can find in Sirius, I do believe we even had a crate specially marked for delivery to your office. I've had this same brand of tobacco shipped to such figures as the honorable Doctor John Henry Holliday and various high-ranking officers through the Houses of Sirius. Insulting the quality of our product is an act of sheer ignorance on your part, but that's not where we take our only offense, non.
You proclaim to be concerned about the health of your employees, yet tell us that it need be none of our concern, and then turn again and accuse us of poisoning your populace. My dear President, do make up your mind. I'm certain a few crates of tobacco aren't sufficient to cause any noticeable adverse affects for your employees, and blaming us for the consequences of the choices of your own crew is insulting. They're grown men, they can think for themselves, I suspect.
You've done nothing but be accusatory and crass. We've conversed with one or two DSE transports as they came through Tau-23 some time ago and those captains seemed to be well-grounded and reasonable men. Unfortunately, they seem to be in no way indicative of a greater mindset.
Furthermore, your women are nowhere near attractive enough to even come close to balancing out your foul attitude. You can take your contract and you can shove it. I'm absolutely certain we'll be able to find a more sophisticated individual who could appreciate the goods we carry.
And by Ze Arch, it's not our fault the commerce site is poorly marked. We went to where Orbital Control directed us, monsieur. Take that up with your own employees.
Very Best Regards,
Jean Pierre LeBlanc
Director of External Operations, GMS
I am glad you finally get the idea. I think this leaves very little to discuss any more.
Don't let me see you near our installations, we don't need Gallic charm for our ugly woman, nor rude angry short men with bad accents to deal with. Gauls should stay in Gallia, period.
How did you say it? C'est le vie? Such is life in Liberty, Monsieur LeBlanc. You don't get anything for nothing, you almost had a foothold in Liberty trade. Tough luck.
I made a very interesting observation today, very interesting indeed. I have had a couple of my security guys keep an eye on a suspected staff member in relation to our tobacco crisis. Today I authorized a warrant to search this individuals abode and discovered a document indicating an illegal trade in your tobacco. The document also indicated a storage shed filled up with your tobacco. Eleven thousand packaged units of your beloved tobacco and it was fresh. Packaging dates vary from 07/07 to 11/07 of this month!
I am lead to believe you are indirectly circumventing my ban of your products upon my colony.
This is now getting out of hand, and I am looking at making sure you are to blame for this.
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CommID: Jean Pierre LeBlanc Target: DSE President John Doe Subject: Tobacco Shipments
Monsieur Doe,
You seem a little tense, mon ami. Perhaps a fine Gallic cigarette will calm your temper. I shall have Mr. LeBlanc mail you a crate or deux.
About ze tobacco shipments.... Ze Arch has examined your lineage and judged you to be not the King de Libertie. Thereby our activities in Sirius are not subject to your flailing whims. We obeyed your desires to keep ze Tobacco away from ze Pitts Planet and ze rest of our shipping business is none of yours, monsieur! If you insist, we can compare samples during our next deliverie to Planet Pit--, I mean, Libertie.
Most of us in ze Gallic Metal Service; including Jean Pierre, Mr. LeBlanc, Mr. LeBlanc, JPL, Jean, and moi-self; are used to ze frequent attention showered on us by ze stunningly glamorous femmes in ze Gallic systems. However, your infatuation with us is bordering on obsession, monsieur. Frankly, we do not know how to respond. But rest assured, mon ami, Jean Pierre doesn't swing that way. Please temper your advances, lest you come off as desperate.
If there is some problem on ze Planet Pitts, then ze DSE should deal with it internally and not involve our highly reputable firm.
Ze Arch concurs.
Regards,
Jean Pierre LeBlanc
Director of External Operations, GMS