Entry #1049
Date: 18/12/819
Subject: What has happened?
Cretino, father believes I am somehow lying to him about the cryocontainer shipment being lost. I already told him id have the Oocyte operation but its nothing to do with me that the materials that would have been used to store my cells were destroyed before reaching malta.
So i didnt seem to care an awful lot about the loss? doesnt mean I wasnt going to stick to my end of the agreement. Now hes pissed of course and its all my fault again, my sisters constantly say i shouldnt be speaking to "papa" like that, but he better watch himself or else he may find I wont be able to speak to him much longer.
If you get what I mean..
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Entry #1050
Date: 20/12/819
Subject: Calm?
father seemed strangely calm today, im not really sure what is the matter with him, but he didnt get angry even once today at the poker table, and hes such a sore loser too.
Helped some of the boys collect payments from the local farms, nothing at all interesting, I wonder how everyone in space is doing, they better be working hard..
Sat with Jose in the manor garage today. Just talked about space, some of the battles with gas miners, corsairs and rock miners, he loves all that stuff, I told him about La falange D'oro and he was amazed, said hed love to come and see it some time,
I dont know what just happened.... I think i was attacked, but i cant be certain, im writing this now because being here for so long may be driving me crazy with boredem.
I was laying on my bed, father was still as calm as a ever. But i heard strange footsteps, I cant describe it, you know how peoples footsteps make them identifiable before they are even seen? well these were not any footsteps i recognised, so obviously I got up to see who it was that was lurking around.
I felt a sharp jolt and everything went dark, or at least i think it did, because i cant find any evidence that this happened to me. I woke up and i was still laying on my bed, and my pistol was still where i left it, there were no footsteps to be heard or foot prints to be found. I checked my body up and down, and I had no bruises or signs of anything else for that matter.
So, im just confused, that was the most realistic dream ive ever had, but i wonder what it actually means?
Entry #1054
Date: 25/12/819
Subject: Back to his old self
The past five days have been a little dull, I want to go back to space again but everytime i do Mama convinces me to stay longer. and for some reason now so are my sisters too, since when did they care?
Well father is back to his usual self again, I beat him 4 times in a row at Poker, 21 and Old maid. He practically tried to kill me when I asked if he wanted to play 52 card pickup instead to make it easier. he couldnt even if he tried though which is even more embarrssing for him, I made a good 50 million from him that afternoon, not bad if i do say so myself. should go a little ways to paying for La Falange D'oro to be finished.
I wonder if Camilla has everything under control... she is always so wishy washy, more concerned about her beauty that anything else..
I dont know why but i have had a craving for paella these past few days, admittedly things have been so dull around here that i've not even been bothered to write anything down, even new years eve was dull, though I was too drunk to remember most of it.
Paella is delicious, I don't remember it being this nice... maybe i was too young to appreciate it or something.
Entry #1058
Date: 11/01/820
Subject: Forget what I said in the last entry... ugh
puking my guts out this morning... I dont understand it, there was nothing wrong with the food, my sisters ate the same as me, okay maybe not as much as me but still.. maybe I overindulged.. cazzo.
madre di dios ive thrown up before but nothing like that... biblical proportions, I didn't even know I could have eaten so much food, why do i have to wake up to something so vile, its been on and off the past few days and I dont know what ive eaten to make it like this, Mama swore it wasn't the chef trying to poison us.
I want to go back to space, I told mama that I wouldn't be staying here much longer, no matter what kind of persuasion she tried.
what to say... im sat holding the test and its positive... Im shaking, I know soon I will lose it... I will snap and what will happen then I dont know. Im pregnant. Ive been raped. When? how did it happen? it must have happened last month, that time when... when I thought I was dreaming.
How did I let it get this far along? Who was it?... it could be anyone, I don't know... most of the Manor guard is male, naturally... what I do know is Mama.. mama must have known, once i saw those baby garments I knew something was very wrong, it was like a bolt of lightning down my mind, I just knew... my stomach turned and my throat became dry, I began to sweat at the thought of what could only be the only possible conclusion from everything happening over the last few weeks... I have to go...
im taking my gun and knife.. somebody will pay for this....
Its over... they are all dead, my hands are still shaking, im so angry but theres nobody left to take it out on, nobody left to suspect.. besides Jose, but I hadnt the heart to kill him, I knew he wouldnt be in on it... or, what I mean is, I couldnt bring myself to kill him in the end, I hoped to god that he wasnt involved and he assured me that he didnt know.
Everyone but Jose and myself knew about it. I... i need to put this book down, im covered in bruises, and blood, my hair is matted, soaked. and my clothes stained red. I need time to think, nobody double crosses me.. fathers manor is silent now.. mama and my sisters paid for crossing me, hung like Pinata... as did father... they all did, they wont cross me again..
I, need to contact Camilla... I need to leave this place. i never belonged here.
Video feed plays of Claes, laying with her back against the headboard of her bed, gun metal grey walls surround her, Angelica playing at her right elbow.
"Been a while since I used this, guess i may as well now that I have the 'time'. Where to begin?"She asked in thought and scratched her head.
"Doc wants me to stop working for a while, to 'raise' Angelica.. Angelica is my daughter.. did I mention her before?"*Claes asks in an unimpressed tone, pointing the data pads camera at the baby next to her arm playing with a toy pistol and a Scimitar model.*"Cazzo who cares.. I have a daughter now, I think the last entry was after I cleaned out the family manor?"*She asks trying to remember a grin spreading across her mouth, "oh well if I try to look this stupid thing will stop recording, they raped me and all died for it"she clarified, "I could have aborted her but there was nobody I could trust enough at the time to help me do it.." Claes said with a quiet sigh, wondering what life would be like without Angelica, the thought actually made her feel closer to the baby as she didnt really want to imagine life without her anymore.*"I was going to give birth and then just throw it into space or something... Or just smother it, whatever... but when I finally gave birth there was something different, I guess I must have been sick afterall because I didnt get rid of her, and here I am all this time later and shes still alive."Claes audibly sighs"Anyway, enough of that, shes here now so... whatever"Claes scalded at herself, shaking her head.
"laamlamalmaa"Angelica could be heard gurgling while she played, "What else don't you know? .."she asked the camera trying to remember, looking up at the ceiling."Oh.. right of course."Claes picked up the camera and turned it around"This... room.. " she stated showing it around still, "Is my room on board the Fenice D'Oro.. "She smiled but it quickly turned to anguish."You remember La Falange D'Oro I mentioned before? yea? well I thought that was a pretty goofy name, The Golden Phalanx, and the ship was so screwed it was almost a total write off.. Eduardo worked some magic and managed to get it back working."Claes stated."Not only did he get it working but completely remade the ship almost, into the carrier I had dreamed abou-"Claes paused being interupted by Angelica climbing up her arm into a standing position using her mother as leverage."-dreamed about"she finished.
Claes leaned off camera shot for a few moments and then connected something to the datapad,"annnd... here she is.."A hologram of the ship is loaded into the log,"Beautiful isnt she?"she asked rhetorically in a proud tone, "And not only beautiful, but unique, shes the only ship of her class in the fleet... for now"She mentioned pausing for a second "but, we'll get to that later, Signore Garcia really pulled out the stops to get this done, we all did, constant supply runs for over six months, night and day.. then she was finished, The Golden Phoenix"Claes said with a big smile and a build up, Angelica wobbling next to her wondering who her mother was talking to. "buuut.. its broken... we almost got it fixed though.. Guess i'll move onto that next"she mentioned with a pained sigh.
"So, what happened?" Claes asked blowing a raspberry making Angelica laugh aloud,"haha.. you silly thing."she chortled to her daughter whom sat back down and continued to play. "who knows, one day the ship worked just fine, we were doing maneuvers in home territory when the ship just suddenly became much less responsive than usual, according to Capitano Ferreira." Claes explained, "Its lucky we were in home territory or this ship would most likely be destroyed, or worse, captured. not like anyone Id dare to keep on board would go down without a fight"Claes grinned wolfishly,"itd be suicide for anyone to board this ship with the amount of internal blast doors and automated defences there are on here."she explained making an overexaggerated shrugging gesture."Anyway after a meeting with signore Eduardo Garcia, or 'Twichy' as he is known by the rest of the crew, obviously not to his face and not in my earshot either unless they want to get shot" Claes frowned to the left thinking about him and how odd he is. "I guess thats something else I need to say too.. well the meeting with Eduardo basically identified key issues that had gone unnoticed in the initial runs. causing a collapse of certain systems and an overwhelming bottle neck from the power core output."Claes explained making hand gestures with her free hand."In the end it was decided that we need to redo the wiring on the entire ship, which would cost us far more than I could afford. which brings me to my next point" she mentioned coughing to the side for a second "scusa.."
"Right so, we are flat broke, the Ombra was due in with the last of the money we had, spent on food supplies and things for the crew, the crew we still have anyways. Its no secret that the Mosquitoes are falling on hard times, such is just the transient life of the maltese, sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets us.. but not yet, im not throwing in the towel yet."Claes growled with conviction."In need of funding for our ship we turned to a recent emergeance of power, the Crimon Cross, they had heard of the Misericorde- uhm, thats the ship class of La Fenice D'oro- and were interested in helping"she explained reaching to the side to drink some water, putting it back after shed had a sip."They were willing to help us and are currently doing so right now, if I were to step out of that door..."she turned the camera around to face the entrance to her quarters before turning it back, "...Then I would see hell on earth happening as hundreds and hundreds of technicians work around the clock to restore my ship, aaand i dont want to see my ship in such a state of disrepair so, im staying here until its done"Claes stated casually. "I met with their embassador, a cold person by the name of Erikasaria Espinosa, Signorina was quick to realise after my explanation of our circumstances here that we in the mosquitoes had nothing to pay their faction with for helping us"Claes said, swallowing a little and looking down as Angelica rubbed the scimitar on her leg as if it were a car. "So, as payment for helping them, she and the Crimson Cross as a whole will get full access to the technical specifications of the Misericorde class, so they can produce their own"she mentioned, her gaze looking down at her daughter for a second before continuing.
"Signorina Espinosa seemed impressed with what she had seen, and Im pretty sure the only reason I still have a crew left is because this is the only vessel of its type in service, Im hoping my crew dont abandon me once the ship is made more accessable to our captains and admirals of the Maltese Navy." Claes sighed in dread."What else was there?.. Oh, right.. Eduardo.."Claes remembered, shaking her head she continued with a bit of a flat tone,"That man is always on edge, so much so that it makes ME nervous just being around him, I thought that was just the way he is because well, everyone has a story to tell, but no.. hes like that because for years under my command his family had been threatening him, and physically harming him repeatedly behind my back!"She shouted in disgust, Angelica stood up slowly and put her finger against her mothers lips, not wanting her to shout."hm? whats the matter baba?"Claes asked her daughter,"mama ma"Angelica gurgled, Claes looked back to the camera,"so we went and /fixed/ them real good, nobody harms my property, or my family and gets away with it. mm! that reminds me"Claes said starting to laugh a little as her baby was playing with her lips while she spoke, "I got myself a boyfriend, though it seems so.. childish to say it like that.. well anyway his name is Horacio Agulla, hes the current head of the flight team on board Fenice D'Oro"Claes stated with rosy cheeks,"Or well rather he would be, if this ship would fly once more, hes a great guy, huge too in all aspects, haha.."she chuckled and kissed angelica on the lips, causing her daughter to laugh and sit back down playing.
"Hopefully in a week or two repairs should be complete, and then I'll be able to show people what this baby can do"Claes sighed."I think thats everything, I'll try to keep a more up... dios mio Ange' i guess its poop time huh?"She grimaced at the vile smell filling her nose, coughing a little,"god.. I gotta go.." Claes said finally and turning off the monitor
Entry #1063
Date: 18/01/822
Subject: The big time, or on the way up?
Video feed begins, Claes is sat on her bed, Angelica at her left breast feeding as her mother sat back against the headboard to her bed.
"Where to begin, I feel i say that a lot when starting one of these but hell so much crap happens who knows how I keep track of it all?"She asked and grunted in anoyance at herself for repetitive behaviours.
"Lets start with the big stuff first, namely myself, im apparently much more important than i realised, or if im honest ever wanted to be."*Claes sighs quietly and adjusts Angelica better to help her feed easier.*"I seem to have gained so much.. I dont even know how to word it, id call it respect? perhaps? Cazzo, I dont know.. basically I guess what im trying to say is im apparently a big shot now who commands a lot of respect among our kin.*She rubs her head uncomfortably*, "I just wanted to do my own thing, and get off that god forsaken planet, I suppose by simply having the virtue of 'being alive' long enough to outlive your opposition gets you to the top just as a matter of course, with little effort on your part."*Angelical whimpered quietly and Claes adjusted her again and hushed her daughter soothingly*"I recieve messages from some of the most prominent figures in Maltese history, asking for my opinions on matters far exceeding the scope of my power. Call me star struck but it gets a little overwhelming at times, need to stay professional and clear my head, I can't get like the others and let the power /if you could call it that/ go to my head." Claes said with a quiet sigh before remembering a point she wanted to add onto this*"To the point where Erika Espinosa, the current figurehead for the entire Maltese fleet is staying with us in order to get away from her most likely insufferable duties in order to relax a little."Claes rubs hear head nervously*"I gave her a brand new ship to call her own while she stays with us, a poultry offer but we have nothing else, this is going to sound really childish but I hope we can become friends, though i'll get to that in a moment. moving on.."Claes motioned her hand in mild despair.
"I have met Erika in person once before on business, when she offered to help us get Fenice all fixed up. I have also met her in space a few times and even did some smuggling runs with her, once where I was the scout, and once where she was the scout."*Claes massaged her forehead feeling a little apprehensive about her forthcoming comments, her daughter continuing to nurse unabated*"There were times...."Claes leant forwards and whispered, not even sure why she was whispering but continued like that for a few seconds*."There were times where if she had been anyone else, id probably have killed her for treating me like an infant infront of my crew..." *Claes finished whispering and wiped her forehead with a cloth.*"But, I showed restraint, and didnt lash out... too much, I really want .... grr... " *Claes grunted in embarrassment at admitting such a thing to a camera, becoming agitated*"I do want this friendship to work, but.. if she does keep treating me like a child I'm not certain that will be possible"*She frowned with a tightly clenched fist before relaxing.*"I'm the one who offered her a friendship to begin with, it wouldnt do to go and kill her, not to mention the repercussions of such an act would be quite severe but... Since Camilla died, ive felt nothing but alone, seemingly spiralling down even though to others we in the 75th are spiraling upwards, funny how your perspective totally changes everything.."Claes stated."I could ask the Casta sisters, but, they dont seem like the friendly type probably laugh me out of an airlock too for good measure. I dont know, according to the doc just having somebody to talk to that isnt this camera would be helpful, and dont get me wrong, Cio is.." *she blushes a little, frowning again feeling embarrassed*"he's great, and I love him deeply, but i need a another womans ear to speak to, preferably one who knows what it's like to lead a bunch of complete numbskulls.."*She commented, shaking her head preparing for her next point, Angelica stopped feeding, and Claes covered her bosom again and stood up, the camera going dark momentarily*
*After a few moments the camera was shown pointing off the foot end of the bed, Claes pacing back and forth left to right on the screen winding her daughter*"Speaking of those numbskulls... Been on a few runs with signore Ilario Costa again lately, I can safely say I remember why I had him patrolling the furthest and most desolate areas of space, as far away from me as possible, sometimes i wonder if even he knows what hes saying, and then theres Signore Pierto Caetani... "*Claes continued to pace, rubbing her daughters back slowly, Angelica burping several times over the course of her mother's rant*"According to that stupid old man Signore Luciani they dont get along at all, yet they are so alike, always complaining about money, or their 'personal saftey', like I'm running a spa and cruise operation here!?"she asked rhetorically and angrilly* "my new flight crew desperately need training, they will only get themselves killed if the current trend continues, not to mention the scout team taking erroneous orders from the supply team is messing things up, but im just so busy these days there just isnt time to train them, If only Camilla were here..."
"whats ne- oh yea.. Fenice D'Oro" Claes asked in slow and patient wonder, her daughter burping again quietly "Fenice is responding well after her repairs and refits, and Eduardo is keeping his head very much down around here, which is fine he knida gives me the creeps sometimes, as long as the ship works I dont care..."*Claes looked down at the camera and stopped pacing, just jigging her daughter gently to get her asleep*"supposed to be down here on business, figuring out just who and what a certain freelancer group is doing, had the unpleasant circumstance of meeting some of them ship to ship, them having the audacity to demand anything from me... whether it be, cargo, money or words from my mouth, I wish to give them nothing more than the most painful death possible... well it was amusing to say the least."*Claes grinned sadistically to the camera for a moment in a half turn while soothing her daughter down to sleep, which was working, just slowly* "I responded to a message that seemed to be sent in desperation night before last, the signal was quite old, and there has been no response to it so far, though going back to the 'being important' topic, i had to talk the talk if I'm going to to be put on the walk to walk.... right?" *Claes looked and her daughter was fast asleep, she moved off camera shot for around a minute before returning without the baby*"Dont know how the crew will feel about Signorina Loyola working on board the ship or as part of the scout crew, not that they have a choice... hopefully none of them will know her situation, I cant be promising her saftey and then having my crew killing her for being a traitor. Can I?"* Claes asks with a grin and closes the video down*
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