Discovery Gaming Community

//Just that you'll know it, it's a parody story. Also, excuse my language, I wasn't that good at it in 2008

Starting log: science vessel-border-45
Current vessel: Heavily modified Border Worlds Transport

Captain's log #155:

We just salvaged an old Starflier wreck found 398K away from the center of NY. Old equipment and no pilot. The escape pod was intact. It was carrying tag: "ooRP". No further data on ships name could be extracted.

It was not the ship we were interested however. The ship was containing some data that might prove useful. It looked like a distress signal, but our scientists believe it may contain some secret meaning.

Though the data seemed to be heavily damaged we decrypted some of it. There are a lot of unfinished sentences and unfinished words. Examples: word "you" seems to be represented just with "u", there are shorts like "rdy" instead of "ready", or "rly" instead of "really".

Heavy damage, indeed.

But there are some words we couldn't translate though. Examples: "woot", "uber", "rofl" and often "pwn"... But most secret word we encountered is "lol". Some of the crew thinks, if decrypted, it may contain coordinates.

Some say they heard rumors about it, that it's a plague. That would explain the pilots death, however. Though that's not so possible, because there was no pilot in the ship. Strange indeed.

I've asked some around and some freelancer said he heard a rumor that Rheinlanders have a secret language called: "lolwut". Maybe it was a Rheinland spy. If we could get our hands on that language... It may contain the decryption to whole message.

Though most of our crew thinks that "lol" is a super-weapon of some kind. This is quite possible, because the ships logs often say about immense power of some roaring piratz. Maybe its a ancient clan that made that weapon called "lol".

There can be thousand of explanations. More research and decrypting needs to be done though, so we can further investigate this case.

However, status of our ship is quite good now. The whole cargo section has been modified into science labs, gun mounts have been modified and additional powerplant was installed.

Though we need to get out of here. Already the navy has been asking us what are we doing here. A border worlds science vessel in the middle of New York. We must depart back to Omicrons.

Log end.

Captains log #156:

Before departing, we sent a spy to find out more about "lol". It seems he was lucky, because some another Starflier pilot said something that he's new and then lol. Our spy investigated soon. But the pilot departed back to Manhattan. Our spy could never locate him again.

Cloaking device?

A few hours later another freelancer(or it seemed so) said "lol, big guns?!?" We haven't got the finest clue what was he talking about but maybe "lol" was referred to a pilot name... Though that's not very alike. But then a few seconds later some "Admin" tagged ship shouted at him about some "RP" and that he'll get banned. Banned? Banned from New York, or what? But then again a few seconds later he disappeared. (cloaking?) Just out of clean space in Manhattan orbit. The "Admin" ship seemed to be heavily modified and of Rheinland design.

It seems the Rheinlanders are involved heavily into this. We always heard rumors that they had cloaking devices... But to engage device in front of Manhattan and nobody notices? There must be something bigger involved in this.

There is almost no doubt that "lol" stands for new Rheinland cloaking device. Looks like we'll be departing into Rheinland before back into Omicrons.

There has been little progress with decrypting however. We searched the ships combat logs and found a lot of words like: "pwn" or "pwnzor", and "woot". But in the end of the battle the pilot said: "lol". It seems he couldn't handle the battle and engaged the cloaking device to escape. If we could only found who was he was fighting with.

Log end.

Captains log #157:

While traveling I just asked myself... How could the ship get 398K away from the NY star. Who would want to travel there? There's nothing there. Looks like he wanted to hide something. Maybe he was a smuggler? Cloaking device would be useful for smugglers... But the ship we salvaged was containing only the most basic equipment. No strange devices. Hell, there wasn't even a pilot.

How could he disappear though?

Maybe some other words hold the knowledge of this.

"woot!1!! epic phail" Some text out of the comm logs. "Phail" seems to represent "fail" or so our scientists think. "Epic" is word that holds a lot of meanings, but our scientists determined that "epic phail" represents some big failure. Maybe "woot" is another device that had a failure on the ships travel. And that may be the reason the ship got there... Maybe "woot" is some kind of secret engine... And it had failure. But we didn't detect any strange equipment on the ship. We need to examine the ship more closely, I think.

Log end

Captains log #158:

We examined the ship and the only thing we could find out is the whole name. It was "lolwut". Hm... And tag "ooRP". What could that mean anyways? I don't think there's a connection. Tag is as it is and name is as it is.

We suspected "lolwut" to be a secret language though. Didn't think it'll turn up as the ships name.

We'll keep the scientists working on it.

Scientists have been making some progress and it seems "wut" is the same as "woot". This would decrypt the ships name in some sort of meaning like... Cloaking... Engines? Maybe this is it. Cloaking engines... But... No. Who would name his ship like that? Hehe... Lolwut... Sounds silly.

Log end

Captains log #159:

We just captured a Rheinland navy patrol. It was containing only one pilot, the others seemed to have been destroyed, because they've got raided by Red Hessians... Maybe they aren't so wrong with making the Revolution. After all Rheinland seems to be hiding something.

We'll interrogate captured prisoner soon.

Log end

Location: Hamburg system, 4G: science vessel-border-45

Captain: "Let's start, Lieutenant."
Lieutenant: "Yes, sir."

Captain:"Greetings... Hans. We would like to know some things..."
Rheinlander: "I won't tell you anything! For the Rheinland!"
Captain looks at the Lieutenant and nods. Lieutenant looks at the panel and pushes a few buttons, injecting the truth serum.
Rheinlander: "Urgh..."
Captain: " Now tell us everything about the lolwut!"
Rheinlander: "What? You're crazy, I don't know anything about it!"
Captain gets out of patience... And slaps the Rheinlander.
Captain: "Stop lying! Where are you producing your "lol" cloaking machine and why do you need it?! What about the "woot" engines?! What is "pwnzor"?! Start talking, Rheinlander!"
Rheinlander: "I told you I don't know what you're talking about!"
Captain: "Maybe we could take care of Eleonore... It would be better to start talking if you want to see her again..."
Reinlander: "What? No!... Alright. I... I admit! I did it! I stole it! Just don't hurt her!"
Captain: "What? Stole what?"
Rheinlander: "The... The cigars that Herman bought. I just took one! I'll never do it again, I promise!"

Captain: "Lieutenant, erase his mind... he doesn't know anything."
Lieutenant: "Yes, sir. Shall we dump him in this sector?"
Captain: "Yes, and keep his ship intact. He must not suspect anything. Heh, he actually fell for the good ol' "we've got your wife" thing..."

Captains log #160:

We're facing a dead end. We have no guides, or any leads. All encrypted messages, ship, flight data, interrogating... And we don't know what now. There simply isn't any connection.

I'll have to think it out on my own...

*background voice* "Captain, you won't believe what we found out, come see this..."

What now? Don't you see I'm... Wait, What?

"Come take a look!"

Log end

Location: Traveling through Rheinland space: science vessel-border-45

Scientist: "Captain... Take a look at this."
Captain: "Yeah... The ships logs. And... What's so special about it? Did you find something out?"
Scientist: "Actually yes, Captain. There actually isn't any damage. Everything wrote is done on purpose..."
Captain: "We already know this... The "shorts"... Like "rly" mean "really"..."
Scientist: "No, captain, not that. Do you see those symbols? They are done on purpose... It's not damage."
Captain: "Really? Hm... That may bring some light to some other things, I think..."

Captains log #161:

Finally. We found something out.

It seems that symbols often in the text aren't damage... They are done on purpose. Though we have not a single clue what would ":)"or ":D" or "xD" mean... There are other ones though rarely used. Some scientists think they are coordinates. This would shed a lot of light on the research. If we could found out what does each symbol mean... Then we would make out coordinates. And then visit those places and maybe find out more clues.

Some young scientist stated that if looked horizontally they look like faces, smiling... Silly kids. He'll see a "funny" face when I grab him...

Log end

Captains log #162:

There seem to be some disturbing news.

1.:"lol u noob i haz big b4ttleship i pwn u totaly >:("
2.:"nomad turet is teh roxor"

1st transmition: This is a cut from the comm log. There may be possibility, that the clan is hiding some battleship somewhere. Who knows how much firepower it has. And to make things worse... It may be equipped with the "lol" cloaking machine. And "woot" engines. With it, it could attack Manhattan itself unnoticed.

2dn transmition: We couldn't decrypt this message totally, but... It seems there is a mention of Nomads. This could be very disturbing news.

Hm... There seem to be some coordinates on the end of the first one. Maybe this is the position of their Battleship. Maybe it's stationed somewhere. And these seem to be different from the others. The coordinate is in XYZ format, not just XY. Placing something very "deep" or "high" can hide that thing. There is definitely something behind all this.

Meanwhile, we're preparing to enter Sigma 13 Jump hole... We need to get to Omicrons quickly and find some quiet place... Where we can do all the experiments with the ship unnoticed. There's definitely something up with the ship.

Log end

Captains log #163:

While attempting to escape Rheinland through S-13 we were ambushed by a Harvester ship. The Harvester wanted to commence harvesting protocols on us, but we couldn't allow that. Unfortunately the ship got destroyed. We downloaded the data logs and destroyed what was left.

I'm glad that we downloaded the ship recordings. We found something... Surprising.




"Tnx"... We believe it is short for "thanks".

Unfortunately, we've got no ID on the sender of this message. The Harvester ship didn't record it. It looks like it treated the message "unimportant"...

Though I think it is very important to us... It gives us clues. I just feel that this place should be observed. There is something in S-13 or New Berlin that might give us clues. We have no choice, but to leave one of our spies here.

If the Harvester could only record that damn ID...

Anyways, the rest of the log was... disgusting. Useless. I can't believe it what those Harvesters are doing.

Log end

Username: lolwut_project
Password: ********

Verifying... Verified

Accessing data

Classified level 8

Enter level 8 password:************

Welcome, Captain!

[color=#FF0000]Accessing data

Classified:

Lolwut project... accessing possibilities...

[color=#FF0000]Possibilities:

1. Rheinlanders are heavily involved in the matter at hand assisted by clan of "roaring piratz".

2. Rheinlanders are not involved, therefore they have no knowledge of "lol". All things listed above are part of secret clan called roaring piratz.

3. Only Rheinlanders are involved in this matter.


Whichever the possibility the statements are that they:

- made a secret language
- made a cloaking machine
- made some secret engine
- are still under control of Nomads
- very likely made a secret super weapon
- very likely made a Battleship of immense firepower
- possibly made a large fleet of battleships

Their goals seem to be unknown for now. Possibly another Nomad infestation.

File editing complete

Log out